Rhaemarys

I love Feyre, she's a sweet innocent baby and I really do care for her but by the Mother does that girl have a strong set of lungs on her. Nesta and I are both sporting matching purple smudges under our eyes, so are half the staff but Mrs Archeron and Elain seem to be in a chipper mood this morning.

"Do you have plans for the Summer break?" Elain asks sweetly, unaware of her mother's harsh glare for talking to 'the help' at the family's breakfast table. I'm here to help cut food - not make conversation. "You have time off don't you?"

"Come now Elain," Mrs Archeron smiles with a sickly sweetness that her husband adoringly coos at. Naive bastard he is. "No need to bother Miss Dreka"

Imaginative undercover name, I know, sue me I was under duress and panicked.

"She's no bother Mrs Archeron." I utter dutifully while rising to my feet. "Would you like me to take Miss Feyre back to her Nanny so you can have breakfast-

"Yes, thank you." The six month old is in my arms before she's finished talking. She could at least pretend to be a loving mother in front of the older kids. "Dear, are you talking with the Beddors today? To make a deal for their share of the land, I hear their debts have gotten-"

I usher all three girls out of the dinner hall, breakfast left unfinished in our haste and Nesta mercifully silences Elain before she can complain. There's no need for the girls to get a scolding from their mother so early in the day for bad manners.

Feyre fusses in my arms and I coo, rocking her in my arms before passing her over to the nanny. Like I said, I love her dearly but I have no interest in caring for a baby right now. Nesta and Elain are one thing, they have some modicum of self preservation and can tell me when they get hurt instead of having three settings. Happy, sleeping and crying. The cycle is endless.

"Girls." the stern matron calls from the top of the stairs. "Time for your lessons."

Nesta stiffens next to me and even Elain's sweet face tightens and I decide that one day I'm going to burn this woman alive for her 'teachings' and her supposed lessons and punishments. A shiver runs down my arms and I feel the little spines and scales begging to emerge.

Cursing silently I usher the girls to their lessons, I need to be more discreet. More controlled. It wont end well for me to start shifting in front of humans, especially when my power is still returning in drips and drabs after the prison. I have no way to protect myself or the girls until I'm back at full strength. I may as well be a human once more.

No, not a human.

I was naive once, back when I was mortal. I have seen far too much to make the same mistakes again.

Once the girls are busy with their classes I retreat to the library, knowing full well that no one bothers to enter the place. Its such a waste, all this knowledge, all these tales hidden away to only be brought out during deals and parties as a brag.

Mercifully, the Archerons didn't bother to question my judgement when I brought in new shipments of books for him to brag about. The lie of me coming from the continent, with new trading ideas and a personal view of their culture was beneficial in that regard. A few weeks studying the continent in Day Court's libraries was enough to get me up to date for the lie to be believable.

My gaze rakes over the books of Prythian, some texts copied from Helion's library that I was too fond of to part with. It's careless of me to bring them here out in the open but I have no other choice, no where else to keep them. Sourcing them was easier than expected since my contacts that survived the slaughter hundreds of years ago were smart enough to build their own networks of spies and influential people before they died. A resistance of sorts, should the old players ever come back into the game.

They took care of gathering resources for me, books that would help get me up to speed. Reports of knowledge and key players come in the form of personal letters from my various aunts and cousins. All dead now but there's a sort of nostalgia in knowing that in some way their name is still being used in the game of power to covet information.

They'd like that.

I settle down with my latest text on court politics and Amarantha's reign. She's one player I'm keen to wipe off the board. Too ambitious to trade any power or knowledge with, too powerful to dismiss, not to mention she can't be manipulated with her cunning plans. Yet she is still weak in some regards. Love has blinded her.

Revenge born of love for her sister; Desperate romantic love based on lies for the Spring Lord; love for power and security, safety she covets after the trauma of the last war.

Oh she hides it well but I can read between the lies and see the snippets of her fears. She has no magic of her own, no physical strength anymore either. Her ability as a General has been reduced to strategies and if it weren't for the High Lord's power she would have been killed off a long time ago.

She won't maintain her position of power for long. 40 odd years is nothing more than a blink in the eyes of the fae, but she's managed to make her mark fro sure. I need to see the state of Pyrithan's people. How they are faring and if there are subtle ways to provide aid. Food, relocating children, healers, all can be smuggled in and out despite the fears of my newfound comrades.

They seem to have forgotten this was my job. Building a resistance, fighting a tyrant and usurping the ruling commanders. I have done this many times, to many different Kingdoms and powerhouses. Human, Fae and... others. I have not forgotten my years of slavery being traded to other realms and worlds either.

It's time I remind these mewling whims why the dragons were revered among their people. Thankfully, that has remained the same through their history if this particular text is to be trusted. I wouldn't put it past these new contacts to try and coddle me, stroke my pride and ego in an attempt to placate and soothe the raging beast they fear I may become.

I'm not entirely sure I can shift into a dragon anymore. Physically or mentally, the restrictions are still there. They might always be.

But one problem at a time. I may despise the High Lords for locking me away and seeking to control my kind but I am not so consumed by my rage to not think their people are innocent. No one deserves to live under the rule of such a cruel creature.

The High Lords are still up for debate.

Beorn still seems to be in play. He was a child when I first saw him but by the time I was imprisoned he was well into his 500s. We have a lot of history, him and I. I should pay him a visit soon. Maybe kill off a few of those pesky sons, a little retaliation never hurt anyone.

Which is why I need to get past the wall. I've found 3 holes in the wall. One too close to this manor for my liking but at least it saves me time trekking through the forest. It would allow me easy access to the spring court, ruled by the Lord Tamlin. He's been in power for around 300 years, came into power at the same time as the Lord of Night, Rhysand. There was petty drama there that might be problematic or useful later, depending on whether I need them to work together or against each other.

But there will be lots of eyes on Spring as the only 'free' court, though liberty is a vague term in this regard. The rumours of masks, collars and binding curses have reached my ears. Which means it will be harder to sneak around unnoticed since I don't have enough power to create a long lasting glamour and with my human looks one of Amarantha's little goons could mistake me as Tamlin's saviour.

What a sorry title to have.

I'll help get rid of the High Queen but under no circumstances am I getting involved with such an incompetent ruler to do so. He'd get me enslaved again out of sheer stupidity.

So not only do I have to avoid the little witch's goons, the beasts prowling Spring's forrest, I also have to avoid Tamlin and whatever sentries and guards he has on the look out for some poor unsuspecting human girl. Wonderful. Should be fun.

"Rhae?" Nesta's hesitant voice has me looking up with a soft smile as she joins me in my little homemade nest on the settee. "What are you reading?"

"Political texts." I grin when her little face scrunches up. "Nothing to interest you I'm afraid."

"Sounds dreadful." She comments, nestling into my side as her eyes flutter shut in exhaustion. "You should read something more fun, like a romance, or a book about fun holidays with no work and lessons."

The last part comes out as a bitter grumble and I smirk at her irritations, trying desperately to focus on brushing my hands through her hair instead of the bruise knuckles on her hands, no doubt from that wretched woman's cane. Or her grandmother's, she's visiting and even sterner than Mrs Archeron and the Matron combined.

"You want a holiday I take it Nes?" I quirk a brow as she makes a hum sound of agreement, shifting in the bundle of blankets around until her back is leant against my side and I can get to her hair easier.

"You remember what a holiday is, don't you Rhae?" She quips and my eyes narrow. "It's when people take time for themselves, have fun, dance, relax and sometimes do this thing called socialising and making friends-"

"Alright missy." I grumble as I tickle her sides, poking at her till giggles echo in the library and the fire seems to glow warmer at her laughter. "No need for the sass."

Her giggles die down to allow her to peer up at me in curiosity and I wait for her inevitable questions.

"What are you doing for the holiday?" It's an innocent question but I fight the urge to tense as Nesta inadvertently stumbles upon the solution to my dilemma. "Do your people have a holiday for this time of the year?"

"Yes Little Flame, my people call it Sumarsólstöður-"

"Sumar- as in Summer? Like the solstice, as you did in winter?" Nesta perks up in curiosity, her eyes gleaming as she connects the dots. My intelligent girl. "The summer solstice!"

"SHhhhh." I hush her, smiling through my reprimand at her guilty look. "You know it's illegal here."

"Sorry." She murmurs, deflating all of sudden and I sigh. It's so easy to crush her spirit these days.

"No harm done my Flame." I soothe, stroking a hand through her now untangled hair as she curls back into my side. "But yes I will be going away for the festivities, I missed the Winter Solstice for Feyre's birth so I'm eager to celebrate the Summer Solstice."

"Won't you be alone?" A frown tugs at her face and I smooth it over gently with my thumb.

"No, I'm going to a party- similar to your mother's balls-"

"But they're awful and boring." Her little face scrunches up in disgust and my chest tightens at the sheer adorableness of Nesta's reaction. "You said Human Dances are only fun for hunting."

And I sorely regret my word choice now. I mean, what am I supposed to say to that comment? Hunt for a husband? For a fun night? Maybe someone to kill, bleed dry and eat their flesh?

I shudder at my own thoughts. I really need to go hunting soon, I don't want to lose control around the children but I don't think I'm ever going to get used to the bloodlust.

"Rhae?"

"Balls can be useful for you, Nes." I begin, thinking through my words as I stare into the fire lighting the hearth before us. "Your mother mentioned it in passing- yes. That they're ways for you to create the right connections, find a husband and make business deals."

"Is that why you're going to the festival?" I can see the thoughts and questions bubbling up in her head. "So you can make connections?"

So I can find out what I've missed during my... sabbatical. See who's survived, who the new batch of players really are and where I land in the mix.

"Yes, in a way but I'm also going to have a bit of fun. It is a holiday after all." I add the last part with a humorous tone, tickling her stomach again until she bursts into laughter.

I would bottle the sound of her laughter and keep it with me always if I could.

A/N: Is there anything you would like to see during Calamali? Between Rhae and Tamlin or perhaps Lucien or Rhys.