Rhaemarys

"You can't seriously be leaving us." Nesta hissed at me and I fought back the lump in my throat. "We finally have a life again, we have a good house, father's business is booming, you're back at full strength and now you're leaving after everything."

"I don't have a choice, Nes." I snap, "The wolves are circling, Rhys is gone and the fae realm is going to shit. If I don't go and fix this we could have a war on our hands and don't think for a single second that they give a fuck about humans."

"Why does it have to be you, huh." Nesta throws out her arms, narrowly missing an ornament on the mantle. "Does it really have to be you or is this just some excuse for you to get out of a mundane life and back into the good ol' days."

"That is not fair, Nesta." I snarl, glaring at my daughter even as my heart breaks. "You are the greatest thing to ever happen to me, and I will not lose you to something I can prevent."

"Fine, so there is a war brewing. But when that war hits you belong here with us." She changes tactics and I fight the burning tears in my eyes. "Let fae blood be spilled for a war they're fighting."

"I am fae."

"But you aren't one of them!" She screams, "They enslaved you! Is this some fucked up stockholm sydrome bullshit-"

"Language!"

"Oh give me a break." She roars and I can see the dragon fire in her soul. For a moment we just stare at each other, both shaking as we slowly cool down until Nesta whispers. "You are abandoning us."

"I'm trying to save us all." I whisper back, scanning her face for some sign of understanding. "I was put on this world to protect and cherish, that is what I did for you and your sister and it is what I must do now for the innocents that will be caught in the crossfire."

"It's not your duty-"

"It is." I whisper, interrupting her hiccuping words as the tears begin to fall. "It is my love."

I called after her as she stormed from the room but it didn't matter. My daughter was stubborn, a trait I entirely credit to myself but I still had Feyre and Elain to talk with. It was easier finding Elain than Nesta, based on the fact Nesta had seemed to be hunting me through the house to have an argument.

But Elain tears only hardened my resolve where Nesta had thawed it. My sweet flower wasn't built for war, nor would I want her to learn. Even after all they have been through she's still so delicate and weak. Part of it brings me shame. I raised two girls willing to hunt and work for their family, while the third plays coy and hides behind pretty smiles and feeble excuses.

"I've spoken with one of the village healers." I begin and Elain frowns and I almost smirk at the cunning mind behind her delicate pout. "She will take you in as an apprentice-"

"I thought we were doing fine with money now."

"We are," I agree and shame curls in my gut at the cowardly creature I allowed to fester. "But you need to contribute somehow, Elain. You can't spend the rest of your life begging for scraps."

Her nostrils flare and something eases in my chest. So her fire has just been hidden behind silk and gossamere.

"I raised you Elain, do you think I can't see that cunning mind?" I tilt my head, the movement purely predatory as I consider the beautiful spy she would have created in a different life. "Except you have let it consume you. Limiting yourself with social rules of delicacy and decorum. For the Mother's sake sweetheart, you could manipulate yourself into any position of power and yet you chose a simple housewife?"

Elain twists the wedding band on her finger. Lord Nolan was certainly pleased by the match or rather my wealth that Mr Archeron was currently counting and squirrelling away. I put it all in their birth mother's name so that the girls could inherit it and then I wrapped it in enough stipulations and rules to limit what Mr Archeron could spend.

"You have leached off your sisters and I for long enough, Elain. Grow a backbone and get something done while I'm away." My words start off strong but eventually seep away into a desperate tone. There's silence for a moment and I wonder if I've gone too far, revealed too much and push for something Elain is incapable but then she nods and for the first time I see her as an adult.

"I'm sure Nolan won't mind me becoming an apprentice." She states, pursing her lips as she nods. I can't help but sigh as she quite possibly misses the entire point of this death-bed conversation. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Her watery smile is genuine this time and my own smile begins to waver.

"Thank you for keeping us safe all these years."

"You've certainly kept them interesting for me." We laugh at the reminder of arguments and memories long past. "I'll never forget those memories, no matter what happens."

I don't know what compels me to say that, especially considering Elain and I have never been that close.

"Neither will I."

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"Is it for a guy."

"Fey-"

"Because if it's for love then-"

"It's for duty and my love for your family." I state firmly knowing my youngest would be the first to doubt her own self worth. "This is one of those things that are bigger than us."

She sighed but it was clear Feyre understood. It was the same instinct that compelled her to hunt all those years ago. Some things we had to do for others whether we like it or not and unfortunately for me and my family there are only a select few of us with that foolish instinct to pick up a sword and fight for what we believe in.

"You're going to kill her, aren't you?" Feyre states and I hum in agreement. "Good. From what you've told us she deserves it."

We're silent for a moment, both content to just be in the other's presence as we think.

"She has him doesn't she? The male who you care for, the one who would leave us gifts." A small smile tugs at my lips. Despite Rhys' and I's insistence to keep our lives separate we had ended up caving about 10 years into our... friends with benefits situation and shared names and personal details. It was foolish of us but I always loved seeing the peaceful look on Rhys' face every time he dropped off a new set of paints for Feyre or a book for Nes. "He was always good to us- to you."

"I owe him."

"No." She drawls, amusement glinting in her eye. "You love him."

"Fey-"

"Not in that consuming way, not yet at least, but I can see that look in your eye. The one you get when our Family is threatened." She's right of course, with my power back at full the influence of dragon instinct on my mind was more prominent. The urge to build and protect a pack, flock or whatever you want to call it at the forefront of my mind. "You seem lighter than before, I'm glad the sickness is gone."

The look in her eyes tells me she guessed it was something different. Not just some little cold like Nest and I told everyone. Feyre sighs and for a moment it's like I'm staring into a mirror talking with Elain about hiding behind pretty masks.

Of course, how could I be so stupid. Elain learnt her tricks somewhere.

"So what's really going on with you?" Feyre arches a brow at me and deja vu really hits. "C'mon, you've never been human-human. It's always been..." She waves her hand non descriptively and I chuckle. "Growls and purrs, you could hear us staying up late from the other side of the house."

"Yeah, I wasn't very subtle at the beginning."

"The beginning?"

"Oh hush." We share a soft smile but slowly the silence drags on. "I spent a long time locked away by people who feared what I am. When I got out... I was a different person. You and your sisters helped me work out who the new me is."

"You're still going to leave though."

"Yeah, Fey, I am." I whisper and she nods, pursing her lips as she holds back tears.

"Stay safe alright."

"You too."

A/N: Rushing the plot a little because I am Seriously struggling with pre acotar plot. Plus I want to get to the Batboys