Akmang tatalikod na ako nang masulyapan ang luha mula sa mata ni Gohan. Muli ko siyang hinarap, placing a hand upon his shoulder as I gazed into his eyes. Melancholy marked its embers, and with all my strength, I suppressed the tears from mine to fall.

"Gohan?" He met my gaze, "We will get through this ... wen?"

He only looked at me, wordless as he did. Another tear escaped his eye, and with this, I pulled him close, embracing him as I felt the heaviness engulf my being too. Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata, ramdam ang pagtulo ng luha mula sa mga ito.

Dahan-dahan akong kumalas at tinitigan si George, "Ading? Ikaw na ang bahala ha?"

Tumango lang siya at inakbayan ang dalawa kong kapatid, "God will see us through," I whisphered, taking in a breath before I resumed to speak, "Pagkatapos ng graduation, balikan ko kayo agad."

Lumuhod ako sa harap ni Gerald at niyakap ito, "Magpakabait, Ading, ha?" Kumalas ako at tinitigan siya, sabay na rin ang haplos sa buhok nito nang makita ko siyang ngumiti, "Ohm, Manang,"

For seconds I just gazed at him, tracing out my mother's features that was so evident in his young face. He had her tender eyes, and the more I looked at it, the more the sorrow grew. I shut my eyes forcibly and stood, flashing each of them a glance before turning to my aunt.

"Sige po, Auntie," I forced a smile, "Maraming salamat po sa lahat."

She smoothed my arm, "Walang anuman, Grace. Parang mga anak ko na rin kayo. Ingat sa biyahe ha?" She shifted her gaze towards the man beside me, "Salamat sa pagsama sakaniya, Pastor. You're a good man."

Gabriel slightly bowed, smiling as he replied, "Walang anuman, Auntie." Inilipat naman ni Gabriel ang paningin sa mga kaptid ko at inilapat ang kamay kay George. "Agannnad kayo, Adding, wen?"

My brother smiled, nodding as he replied in assent. Ilang sandali pa ay tuluyan na rin kaming nagpa-alam at umalis. I tried my best not to look back. Doing so would only intensify the guilt and longing I felt. Kung maaari nga sana hindi na muna akong bumalik sa siyudad, pero ilang araw nalang ay graduation na namin. At saka isa pa, kailangan ko na talagang magtrabaho ng husto ngayon.

I swallowed hard as I thought. Wala na si Mama. Hindi man sabihin ni Auntie Lucia, alam kong kailangan kong tumulong sa pagtustos ng mga pangangailangan ng mga kapatid ko. All the more the heaviness intensified. Paano na kaya Panginoon? Tutuloy pa ba ako ng kolehiyo?

The mighty teraces filled my gaze as we walked the pathway to the village, memories of my childhood flooding back as I watched how the deep green stiked a sharp contrast against the bright blue skies. Hmm, I sure am gonna miss this place.

Makalipas ang ilang minuto ay nakarating na rin kami sa sentro ng nayon. Houses made out of wood were scattered on the sides of the clearing, most were of traditional architecture. May mga ilang dumungaw mula sa kaninang mga pintuan ng mamataan kami. I could only smile, greeting back as they bid us goodbye.

"Mun-annad ayu, Pastor!"

"Hi next bo, Pastor,"

Elderly women smiled from their porches as we walked, and a few even came by to give us fruits.

"Te-ay Aginaya," An old woman whom I recognized as Hilda offered an eco bag filled with bananas. "Ta wada'y iyawid yu i' inayam,"

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang marinig ang sambit niya, "Ay inoy apu!" I waved my hand in dissent, "Bokon u' hiya inayan!"

The elder woman only laughed and walked away, joining the others who sat on a cut tree trunk on the side of the pathway. Umiling nalang ako. Kinuha ni Gabriel ang eco-bag mula sa kamay ko, glancing at me with wondering eyes as we walked.

"Ano 'yong sinabi niya, Grace?"

Napa-isip pa ako kung sasabihin ko ba. Hay, pambihira talaga mga matatanda namin dito. Iba mag-joke!

"A-ano," Tumikhim ako, "Napagkamalan yata tayong mag-asawa,"

Nanatiling nakababa ang tingin ko, umangat lang ito nang marinig ko ang pagtawa niya. I gazed up at him, only to see the playful smile on his lips, "'Di maganda para declaration," He chuckled.

My lips parted, gazing at him in astonishment. I cleared my throat once more, shaking my head as I somehow felt my cheek burn. Ito naman eh, sumabay pa. I kept my gaze towards him as we walked to the tricycle stop. Nasa likod niya ako, kaya malaya ko siyang na-oobserbahan.

Once more what happened that first night flashed in my mind. My heart tightened, the memory of it sending a shooting sensation to my core. He did it in the most careful way possible, but the way his simple act of affection made me feel was inexplicable.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin nang marinig ang ungol ng isang motor. Pagka-tigil ng trycicle sa harap namin ay agad na rin kaming sumakay. Forty minutes din ang biyahe papuntang Lagawe kung saan ang terminal ng bus. 8PM na siguro kami makakarating doon, just in time for the 8:30PM night trip to Baguio. I settled inside the vehicle, taking in a breath as I glanced over the seat behind the driver where Gabriel sat.

Cold wind blew aggressively against my being as the tricycle advanced. I shut my eyes and released a breath.

Take care of us, Lord.

Madilim ang paligid nang imulat ko ang aking mga mata. I felt warmth against my cheek, a scent now familiar to me now filling my nose. Naka-ilang kurap din ako nang mata bago mapagtanto. We're still in the bus. I lifted my head, eyes widening as I realized the state I was in. Tsk, namimihasa ka na, Grace ah! I felt him stir, his hold upon my shoulder regaining its strength as he lowered his gaze upon me.

"S-sorry," Bulong ko, "Nadistorbo yata kita."

He only returned his head upon the bus's seat, respiring as he pulled my head back to his shoulder. Naramdaman ko ang pag-init ng aking pisngi. Oh my goodness. So near.

"Matulog ka muna, Aggin," He breathed, "Malayo pa tayo."

It took me a few seconds before I could reply, "A-anong itinawag mo sa'kin?"

He lifted his head, now eyes upon me. Madilim, pero I could feel his nearness, "Aggin," He paused, "Isn't that the shortcut for Aginaya?"

"Ah," I nodded, "Oo, it's just that-" Lumunok ako, "No one has ever called me that except my tribesmen, and family,"

"Hmm," I heard him chuckle, "Won't I be one of them sooner or later anyway?"

Natigilan ako sa nasambit niya. I released a breath, feeling my heart flutter as his word, "S-sabagay," I replied in assent.

I shut my eyes, trying my best to regain the sleep I lost. Oh Jesus, I might need more of Your help beginning today. Keep my heart steadied.

I released a breath and began to pray in my mind, soul seeking peace as I began to drift to sleep. Ifugao to Baguio takes at least eight hours when traveled through bus. Baka mga alas kuwatro ng umaga na kami makarating.