PETER PARKER: dAb

BRUCE BANNER: HuLK OuT

PETER PARKER: you know, Mr. Banner Hulk

BRUCE BANNER: just Banner is fine

PETER PARKER: Banner, Hulk Banner, Banner Hulk, Bruce, Brucey Woosey, Bruce Hulk, Hulky Bruce, Bruster, Hulk Man, Doctor Hulk, whatever your name is. I have one question: why are you half hulk and half human

BRUCE BANNER: because I combined the brains and the brawn in a gamma lab...

PETER PARKER: but...why

BRUCE BANNER: because...I wanted to?

PETER PARKER: so you wanted to look like green Shaq O'Neil?

BRUCE BANNER: ...who?

PETER PARKER: nevermind..I'm just confused as to why anyone would want to look like a parasitic zombie with Thanos muscles that is nicely shaven and wears glasses while having a voice of a 50 year old dork.

THOR: DONT SPEAK HIS NAME

PETER PARKER: who, Thanos?

THOR: SHHH—

BRUCE BANNER: did your parents ever teach you manners, Peter?!??

PETER PARKER: my parents...are dead

BRUCE BANNER: oh..

THOR: you have my condolences, young arachnid, but do not speak of the purple titan

PETER PARKER: thanks...and sorry

BRUCE BANNER: I'm still recovering from Peter's insults

TONY STARK: he's the new blood. Get used to it

BUCKY BARNES: Guys...?

TONY STARK: Manchurian Candidate.

BUCKY BARNES: Sam is having a tantrum...

STEVE ROGERS: yeah you guys might want to help out with this

BRUCE BANNER: what's wrong?

BUCKY BARNES: he uh...lost Redwing.

TONY STARK: who's redwing

STEVE ROGERS: his little drone thingy

NATASHA ROMANOFF: oh yea, he asked me to pet it one time...treats it like a dog

BUCKY BARNES: I'm not really good at counseling...maybe someone should call a meeting and conduct a search for it

STEVE ROGERS: Sam's pretty flustered...Bucky and I's room has been torn to shreds.

PETER PARKER: you two share a room?!?

STEVE ROGERS: yeah...? It's not like...small...or..we don't share a bed or anything it's just...a large, very large room with a Jack and Jill bathroom and two beds...but Bucky always sleeps on the couch for some reason

SAM WILSON: ITS A GREAT COUCH

BUCKY BARNES: oh, hey Sam. find redwing?

SAM WILSON: I MIGHT HAVE FOUND HIM IF YALL DIDNT KEEP SPAMMING MY PHONE WITH TEXTS

STEVE ROGERS: woah, calm down. We'll help you.

SAM WILSON: good.

TONY STARK: I'm not helping. I got my hands full on beating Wakandan Disney Princess

SHURI: ha! You admitted I'm difficult to beat!

TONY STARK: uh, no. I have my hands full...with the tools I'm using to create the BEST Iron Man suit.

SHURI: weak.

TONY STARK: excuse me? Did you save half of all life? Did you fight Thanos? Save the world from the Chitauri? Wield the infinity stones?

THOR: DONT SPEAK HIS NAME

JAMES RHODES: dude get over it

SHURI: I'm not even going to bother arguing with you, Stark.

TONY STARK: Fine. Accept your fate. Admit defeat.

SAM WILSON: SOMEONE HELP ME FIND REDWING

BUCKY BARNES: I have been helping for the past 20 min

STEVE ROGERS: same

SAM WILSON: more people, higher efficiency.

CLINT BARTON: I'll help. Tired of fighting Nat anyway.

NATASHA ROMANOFF: you're getting stiff, old man.

CLINT BARTON: well I was supposed to retire years ago..

NATASHA ROMANOFF: you wouldn't leave us

DOCTOR STRANGE: I suppose I'll be of assistance to you, Mr. Wilson.

SAM WILSON: oh yes can't you do your fancy wizard things and see where redwing is?

DOCTOR STRANGE: possibly.

SAM WILSOM: anyone else? Help?

JAMES RHODES: I'm watching Tony

WANDA MAXIMOFF: Vision and I will come

DOCTOR STRANGE: at this point just throw a party, because I cause find redwing in a matter of seconds.

SAM WILSON: really? THEN DO IT!

DOCTOR STRANGE: it seems...that it's currently floating in Loki's toilet.

SAM WILSON: WHAT?!?! IM GONNA KILL THAT REINDEER GOD

THOR: ah, yes he often does that. One time when we were little, he turned into a cockroach and sat on the toilet seat and when I went in there he jumped on me.

CAROL DANVERS: this is why I don't hang out with you guys.

PETER PARKER: wait...Asgardians use toilets?!

THOR: yes...what else would we use...

TONT STARK: hang on, Danvers, you finally showed up. Can you check this regularly in case we need your help?

CAROL DANVERS: I've been here this whole time, I just keep my thoughts to myself. And if the conversations in here continues to be about marshmallows and toilets, I think I might just leave. Fury has my number anyway.

PETER PARKER: you don't like toilets? That's a difficult business going to the bathroom then. You are magical...so maybe you just...

CAROL DANVERS has left the conversation

DOCTOR STRANGE: this conversation just got a whole lot weirder. Uh, everyone let's host a party in the Dining room!