Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today. No threat. Just a reminder. You aren't in danger.

Mentally stable children

Killua
Bitch we're in Yorknew

Killua
Where tf you living we gonna stay there

Y/n is now online

Y/n
God damn it's 2 am

Killua
Nobody cares

Y/n
*Insert location thing*🙄🙄

Killua is now offline
Y/n is now offline

Bitch who texts someone at 2 am? Was I asleep? Absolutely not. Do they need to know that? No.

Approximately 8 minutes and 32 seconds later

"We're here bitch!" Killua shouted, entering the house that I may or may not have stolen after killing the owner. Nevermind, that's exactly what I did.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I asked, setting my phone down.

"Sounds boring, where's your chocolate?" Killua questioned, rummaging through the kitchen.

"Hello." Kalluto greeted, entering the house. Favorite chil- I mean, Kalluto! Kalluto immediately checked the freezer for ice cream, which was expected.

Gon decided to start a game of tag with Killua, which he was obviously losing.

"How long do you think this will continue?" I asked, now eating ice cream with Kalluto.

"The record is an hour and 54 minutes." Kalluto replied. I feel bad for Gon's aunt.

"Want to rob an ice cream store?" Kalluto asked, already heading outside.

"Sure."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Dave, how many ice cream stores do you work at?"

"All of them."

"Dave that shouldn't be possible."

"All of them."

"Dave-"

"All. Of. Them."

"Dave are you okay?"

"I scream, you scream, the children in my basement scream, we all scream for ice cream." Dave sang. That's.. that's beautiful.

I got myself an ice cream cone, Kalluto already being on his third one.

"Wait, the store is closed, why are you here?" I asked.

"I live here."

"Dave, do you need a house?"

"No. Ice cream is life. Never leave ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. Ice..." Dave muttered.

And I thought Kalluto was obsessed. What is Kalluto doing anyways?

"God fucking damnit Dave." I muttered, taking Kalluto's phone away so they could no longer play Minecraft.

"What did I do!?" Dave complained.

"I'm just blaming you for all my problems. How dare you make my mother beat me as a child, the audacity!"

"Were you dropped on your head as a child?"

"Bold of you to assume I was held."

Mentally stable children

Killua
Bitch where tf are y'all

"Time to go back I guess."

"But ice cream!"

Long story short, I had to force Kalluto out of the ice cream shop. Man literally stopped believing in gravity and walked on the ceiling.

"We're back." I said, entering the house. Gon had apparently passed out on the floor. Killua had found one of my many candy stashes. Jinx was also eating chocolate, in his human form of course.

Kalluto immediately headed to the freezer, for obvious reasons. I also decided to eat chocolate, sitting on the table next to Killua, Jinx, and Kalluto.

For the next couple of hours we all sat there, making questionable life decisions and regretting our past life decisions, oh yeah and a child was passed out next to us, but that's besides the point.

Gon woke up around noon, so basically we are forcing this child into a terrible sleep schedule.

"Hay Killua, are you busy at 5 PM?" I asked, still sitting on the table with him.

"No?"

"Cool, how 'bout you Gon?"

"I'm free, why?"

"Im not, have fun you two."

"Wait what?"

And that's how I trapped Gon and Killua into going on a date. Obviously neither of them would say that they didn't want to go on a date, mainly because they wanted to go on a date.

"So what do we do while they're gone?" Kalluto asked. I have no idea, as I have no life and am only capable of causing chaos. I currently can't cause chaos because I can't ruin their date. L.

"Well we can either play never have I ever, or plan world domination."

"Never have I ever it is!" I'm not procrastinating I swear! Trust me guys, I'm just waiting to force Killua to do it.

"Alright. Never have I ever, blown up a orphanage." Kalluto said.

"I have."

"I have."

Now obviously, because Kalluto is a minor, instead of drinking alcohol, we're drinking coffee. Because I want to see how long it takes for one of us dies from drinking excessive amounts of caffeine.

"Never have I ever, committed mass murder for absolutely no reason."

Both me and Kalluto had.

"Wait, it's supposed to things you've never done."

"Yes, I only commit mass murder to cause chaos and because I'm bored." Not the technicalities!

Awhile later

"Never have I ever, fought god."

"Fucking targeting."

"Never have I ever, drank alcohol." Kalluto said. He's using the fact that he's a minor against us!

"Never have I ever, illegally adopted children."

Targeting? How rude. I would never.

"Never have I ever, worn a maid dress."

"Bitch- Never have I ever, been adopted by mass murderers." What happened to Kalluto's turn?

Both me and Kalluto had, so it technically wasn't targeting.

"Never have I ever, been a cat boy."

"How dare you use that against me!" Deserved.

"Never have I ever, tossed a child off a roof."

🍿Later, because that went on for awhile🍿

"What the fuck happened here?"

"Jinx was being a bitch-"

"You started it bitch!"

"Someone please explain.

...

"So you're telling me, that after getting high on caffeine during a never have I ever game, you started fighting, and Kalluto ended up sitting on the ceiling in the corner?" Killua asked.

"That's exactly what happened, yes."

"And you didn't invite me!?" Killua complained.

"You were on a date."

"Hey it wasn't a date! ...Hey Gon, was it a date?" Killua said, whispering the last part.

"I don't know!" Gon whisper-yelled back.

"Hey Kalluto-"

"Yes you went on a date. Yes you love each other. Yes you're going to start dating. No it's not a choice. No you may not complain." Kalluto replied, still hanging from the ceiling.

"..."

"..."

"So are we dating now?" Gon asked, clearly confused.

"...Yes?" Killua replied, just as confused.

"Yes." Kalluto stated, tired of having to deal with them and the whole love thing.

And that's how KilluGon came to be. The ship everyone should agree with because it is literally this close to cannon.

Word count: 1312

Fun Facts:

• Y'all got so many updates that you can't complain about less words- not like you were going to anyways but still- (I had no idea I was gonna update so much until like 2 days ago so there's not as many updates as I would've liked)

• Yay they're finally dating! Maybe it took a lot of outside influence (*Cough* Y/n setting them up on dates *Cough*) but it happened!

• How I think some of the characters would react to falling down the stairs

Gon- Wow, I got down those stairs so fast!

Killua- *Ungodly long string of curses*

Kurapika- Guess I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies

Leorio- (Remember he's in medical school or some shit) *Happily* Is this a sign that I should die???

Kalluto- *Gets up off the floor, grabs ice cream, and then goes and lays on the floor again*

Y/n- *Takes nap on the floor due to lack of motivation to get up*

Hisoka- *Is the one pushing everyone else off the stairs*

Illumi- *Dramatic ass fall- you all have seen that shit right- the dramatic fall??*

Chrollo- *Wouldn't fall off the stairs in the first place, man could probably be walking down stairs in six inch heels, reading a book, and talking to a troupe member without falling*

Ging- *Wasn't on the stairs in the first place because he's running from Gon*