But my dreams,
They aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be

~The Who, Behind Blue Eyes

>>>>>>

Harry's sunglasses rested on the bridge of his nose as he watched Niall swing the club, hitting the ball and having it soar through the air.

"Fore!" Liam cried and Niall giggled, smacking the lad on the arm. Harry laughed as well.
It was nice when it was only the three of them, lounging around and being boys.

Until things happened that ruined everything. Harry spotted the pap first, sneaking towards them with a camera in hand.

"Shit," he mumbled. "There's a damn pap coming, which obviously means-"

"Harry! Can we speak to you!?" Cried the nearing pap as Harry started the golf cart, Liam sliding into the seat beside him and Niall swinging his bag of clubs over his shoulder before hopping onto the back.

"Sorry, lads, we really want to finish this match, see you later!" Liam called as he waved at them.

Harry groaned and drove them towards the entrance of the supposedly private club, shaking his head. "They were probably wondering where Louis was. I told that boy to meet us out here!"

"Since we basically have nothing but a few award shows and interviews left, Louis deems it unimportant to hang out with us," Liam says.

"It's better that way. He gets on my damn nerves," Niall says from the back and Harry laughs quietly, pulling into the golf cart lot and getting out. "Speaking of the bloody devil," Niall mumbled and here came Louis, strutting towards them in short, white shorts and a tight grey tee. Both articles showed off his curvy body and his fringe was pushed back from his glittering eyes to show those off as well.

"Oh, are you just now heading to golf?" Louis asked, clasping his hands together.

"You were supposed to meet us three hours ago," Harry said bitterly before spotting the flash of a camera. He pulled Louis in for a hug, voice low as he says, "We'll talk about this later."

Louis fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Okay, babe. Don't punish me too hard," he snapped, hugging Harry back despite his annoyance.

Harry was ready to punch him.

"How about we all go out to eat, then?" Liam asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, thanks, just had lunch," Louis said with a smirk as the paps got closer. Harry wrapped an arm around his waist and forced a smile. Good thing he was an amazing actor and the smile looked genuine and fond.

"Okay, well, we were heading to eat so I guess you can just skip off to Eleanor," Niall says. He's not a good actor.

"Eleanor?" Louis repeated, eyes dangerous as they glanced over at Niall. "Wow, what a funny joke! Isn't that funny, baby?"

Harry nearly cringed.

"Yeah, so funny," he drawled. "Why don't you and I just go home? I'm not too hungry anyways."

Louis shrugged a bit. "Alright. Let's go, then."

>>>>>>

"Harry, where do you keep the food!?" Louis asked as he stared into the refrigerator.

Harry stepped into the kitchen wearing, of course, fucking nothing.

"What do you mean? The fridge is loaded," Harry says with a raised eyebrow.

Louis scowled as he dug through everything. "Why is there so much fruit? And so many vegetables?"

"Probably because they're good for you," Harry said slowly as he steps closer, tilting his head.

They'd agreed to move into Harry's L.A. house but Louis wasn't digging it. There wasn't even any soda in the fridge!

"Harry, there's nothing that tastes good!" Louis scowled. "Now I have to go shopping."

"This all tastes good," Harry says as he pulls a Think Thin fiber bar from the cabinet. "This has white chocolate in it. Try it," he says, tossing it to Louis, who peels back the wrapper and takes a bite.

Harry was pushed away from the sink as Louis immediately spit the bar into the sink. "This is shit, Harry! You can't buy regular granola bars? The kind that have, like, granola and chocolate!?"

Harry scowled. "Louis, just go buy your own damn food, then!"

Louis rolled his blue eyes, shoving the fiber bar into Harry's hand. "Fine, I will, you dick."

Harry rolled his eyes as Louis stalked off, throwing the fiber bar away in the trash and following after the boy. "We still have to go on that date management says we need to go on."

Louis sighed. "Harry, it's great that you are so into this, really. But we are not a real couple."

"Wow, Sherlock Holmes is my new roommate!" Harry says, rolling his eyes. "Come on, Louis, we need to act like a couple. The fans are very important to me."

"They're important to me!" Louis snapped. "I just don't think that us faking a relationship is the right thing to do. We are lying to them, after all."

"You have no choice. Management will sue the shit out of you if you do not follow the rules," Harry chides.

"You'll be punished for it as well," Louis argues. "After all, you're Harry Styles, the sweet and innocent boy who can do anything in the world-"

Harry shoved Louis against the counter and the older lad squeaked in shock, dropping the fiber bar to the ground. "Shut the fuck up, Tomlinson. You don't know me. Who you used to know- it's not me."

"You're nothing but a fag," Louis hissed, trying not to cry from the pain in his side. He pushed past Harry and went upstairs. Harry nearly followed but he controlled himself and just went back to the music room to work on a song.

The afternoon grew quickly to night and Louis came downstairs in tight jeans, a grey tee, a black blazer, and a beanie. He sighed and crossed his arms as he looked at Harry. "I'm going out."

"You aren't allowed to do that without me," Harry muttered, scratching down some lyrics.

"That's why you're coming with me," Louis said before sitting on the opposite side of the couch. "Check your phone."

Harry sighed and got up, going to check his phone, which was plugged up and charging on the opposite side of the room.

Go clubbing with Lou. Get some snogging in. -Helena

"She wants us to snog?" Harry asked, wrinkling his nose. "I'm not so sure about that."

Louis rolled his eyes. "You'll actually enjoy it. I don't want to kiss another man-"

"First of all," Harry sneered, "You do not qualify as a man in my book. You're a coward. You're letting fans kill themselves off to keep yourself in the spotlight-"

"I haven't-"

"Shut the fuck up," Harry snapped, and Louis immediately did so. "Second off, just because I enjoy kissing my own gender doesn't mean I enjoy kissing everyone who's my own gender. You're definitely not in my interests."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Funny, because I once was."

"Just kiss me," Harry mumbled, stroking Louis's jaw. "It's just one kiss."

"Only one," Louis mumbled softly, blue eyes wavering. "But you know I'm not sure about-"

"I know," Harry said softly. And then he was leaning in and they were kissing for the first time.

"Funny," Harry snapped, "Because you agreed to every time we did it-"

"I hope you're only talking about kissing because I told you to never mention-"

"We fucked, Louis! We had lots of sex. Us never speaking of it doesn't erase it from my memory and it doesn't mean it didn't happen."

Louis bit his lip, not sure what to say to Harry. He was baffled. They had kept their deal and never spoken of it until this moment.

"We can just go out tomorrow night," Louis said at last. "I am not feeling well." And he went back upstairs.

>>>>>>

Soft touches were being pressed to Louis's skin, green eyes boring into his.

He felt his mind spinning with the possibilities now that Harry was back over him, loving him.

Louis hadn't considered being with a boy until he met Harry. He loved having Harry over him and in him...

And then Harry was gone.

Louis was suddenly out of his bed and in a room, Harry screaming at him about how selfish he was.

And then there was blood- lots of blood- as Harry slit his own throat.

Louis screamed, he was screaming-

"Louis, bloody hell, wake the fuck up!"

Louis jumped and screamed again when he saw a dark shadow over the bed. His lamp cut on and he took in a deep breath.

Harry was there, a nearly concerned frown on his face- but he was trying to hide the concern. Louis knew Harry too well. Sure, Harry's changed, but Louis knew Harry still cared.

"I didn't know you still had those," Harry said after a long moment.

Louis has had night terrors since he was a young boy. It's always been a thing, but they had stopped for the brief time period him and Harry were sleeping together. It was the only thing that kept the nightmares away- Harry was that thing.

"I'm fine," Louis lied, wiping the sweat from his neck. Harry sighed and turned to leave the room. Louis opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't find the nerve to do so.