"WHAT THE BUTTS?!?" I yelped. A teacher from behind me shushed my loud outburst, but I pretended I didn't notice her. I ain't got time for your crap, I said in my head, almost out loud. "What do you mean?" I asked, lowering my voice a bit, now questioning if she really had the same dream. She could be talking about something completely different and I wouldn't know!

Lizza looked at me, with a dead-serious look, "I know we had the same dream. Did you see me when circling the fire?"

Yup. We had the same dream.

     "Well, yeah, and I saw you!" I paused and looked around, making sure no one is stalking us, "As well as five other people, but I couldn't really make them out." I said, trying to remember the dream and the people I saw.

     The bell rang, letting us go to our classes. "It's weird. I think one of the people had a pair of wings or something." Lizza said as we were walking down the stairs into the ninth grade wing.

     I looked at her, slightly confused, "One had wings? Huh, I don't remember any of that. I was more focused on how many people there were."

     Lizza shrugged, "The person with wings was to my right, and you were to my left. But I didn't see the others that well." She said.

     We stopped by Lizza's locker. I didn't bother going to mine. I already had all my things in my backpack. "I don't know, do you think this actually mean anything? It could just be coincidence." But it's not really likely, I thought while Lizza was busy moving her binders and books around.

     "I don't think so, but how could it mean anything? And what does it mean? If it means that the human race is going to be extinct, then it's about time!" Lizza exclaimed, and I chuckled a bit.

   "Yeah, and maybe there is a virus or something that affects dudes before girls or something." I added. I wonder what it's like to die... I smiled as a funny thought came to me, "And then there's us, just casually talking about the end of the human race."

     Lizza chuckled, "Yeah, 'cause that's what we do!" She added, and we both ended up in a laughing fit.

*      *      *      *      *

I didn't really pay attention to what was happening throughout the morning. True, I payed attention to the actual classes, but I didn't bother with the way the teachers and students were acting. I just guessed that most of them were in a bad mood.

     "Hey Amber, didn't you notice something...strange?" Lizza asked me. We were walking to the library with our lunch trays. We had always eaten in the library except for all the times it was closed or when there was a meeting in the small room where we ate.

   I nodded, "Yeah, all the dudes were seeming sick. What else is new?" I stated. I don't really know why she asks, we already have a good idea of what's going on.

   "Yeah, but the girls are also acting strange." She said, "They all either seem more depressed or constantly raging."

     Dang, I'm so oblivious I feel retarded. "I was worrying more about other things." I replied.

     Lizza rolled her eyes, "Yeah, thinking about how messed up it is to have mint flavored frosting when a person gets turned into a cake in a movie. You're more focused on the icing flavor than the fact that a human being was turned into a birthday necessity!"

     I laughed, "But it is weird!"

     "Your face is weird!"

     "Well that's not very nice!"

     "Your face isn't very nice!" Lizza chuckled as she opened the door to the library. I didn't bother replying and walked into the large room, filled with the smell of all kinds of books. I then lead the way to the smaller room.

     Once Lizza closed the door, I turned my head back at her, "You're not a very nice person." I said with a smirk.

     Lizza ended up laughing, and I joined her. "Yeah, but seriously. Something's up." She said, her tone slightly more controlled.

     I shrugged, "I don't know what we should do. I don't even know if we should do anything." I said nonchalantly, opening my milk, "The human race is ending, and there's nothing we can do about it. The world will have a break when we're finally gone."

     I looked back at Lizza, "Unless you have the sudden urge to save humanity and become a hero, creating an antidote, I have no reason to try to do anything that will waste our good old time here on planet Earth." I leaned back, drinking my chocolate milk. Food is good.

     Lizza was looking down at her tray, and then looked up at me, "Don't you have a...weird feeling about all this?"

     "Pfft! That's just the virus getting to you as far as I know." Crap, why don't I feel sad? I thought, not for the first time in my life. Eh, I dunno, I never understood emotional crap. But I'm going to die eventually. Maybe I'll be reincarnated as a cat or something. Then I'll be able to murder anything I want!

     Lizza glared at me, "That's not funny, and it ain't the virus. I feel the same, but then...not." She shook her head, "It's more of an ingrained feeling."

    Err, since when did she use big words? I don't think this is one of the side effects of whatever is going on... "Uhm... Person? Are you on drugs?"

     "Err, no? Why do you say that?" She asked, generally confused.

     I looked down at my tray, "You don't normally use big words." I shrugged, "Maybe it's just the atmosphere."

     "But seriously, something's up."

*      *      *      *      *

     "Lizza, stop. You're scaring me." My mentally drunk friend continued talking about the feeling she's been having. Since lunch, all she did was blabber on about the feeling, and that it's not the virus. In my opinion, she just has to chill and accept that she's dying. But that wouldn't help too much. Once that woman's stuck on something, she's stuck.

     "You're scared? You don't know what's happening to me! I don't even know what's happening! It's freaking me out! I don't understand why you aren't all stressed. Don't you realize? We are all going to die." Lizza ranted, stressfully frustrated.

     I rolled my eyes, "I know, and I'm hoping that I get reincarnated as a singapura cat!" But a thought kept tugging my mind. Why aren't I feeling anything?

     Lizza glared at me, "This is not a game. This is real! I can't believe you are acting so careless about all this!"

     I flashed a glare at her as we continued to walk through the semi-crowded halls, the people around us either sick or aren't caring about our existence, "Well what else would I do? Live the rest of my life panicked? That's not how I want to die! I don't care if it hurts, it will be over!" All over...

     Lizza shook her head and sighed, "I don't know, all these weird things are going on." She said. I looked over at her. Dangit, why do I have to be retarded?

     I took a deep breath, "Whelp, you were right when you said I don't know what's happening." I don't feel like arguing about stupid crap anymore. I'm feeling just plain old tired after all this stressful junk. Just because I don't show stress sometimes, doesn't mean I don't have it.

     But what about sadness? That thought came to me, like earlier in the day. But I shrugged it off again. It's not important.

     Lizza smirked next to me, "I feel like we're retards."

     I chuckled, "You just noticed?" I said, and we both ended up in a laughing fit.

*      *      *      *      *

     That night, sleep did not come easy. A few years ago, it would take me hours to fall asleep. But I found out a few things that helped me fall asleep faster. If I fall asleep with both a thick blanket and a softer yet thinner blanket, laying on my side, having a pillow line the opposite side from the soft blanket, I fall asleep within a half hour.

     But midnight rolled around, and I'm still laying in bed like a sunbathing seal at the zoo; not really awake, but still conscious. Not really daydreaming, but thinking. Not really dead, but motionless. This kinda reminds me of sixth grade...

The thought of the feeling that Lizza talked about was swarming around in my brain. Not just the feeling, but how sorrow isn't keeping up with what was happening.

I have always had a problem with my emotions; heck half the time I don't even know what I'm feeling! But whenever I have them, they hit me hard. If I was feeling happy, I am bouncing around all hyped. When I was mad, I was sent to a raging ranting rampage. When my emotions are just mixed around wondering what to feel, I get all quiet and doze off. When I actually felt sad, it gets so bad I don't even know how to deal with it!

Whenever I actually got sad, I guess I tend to shut others out and deal with it on my own. Yeah yeah, I know people say it ain't healthy nor helpful, but what else can I do? Whenever I'm with people I love, I subconsciously get happy. I don't control it, it just happens!

I only get sad when I'm alone, when I have time to think about all the things that has happened in life. I have gotten so used to crying in solitude that when my dad was leaving to Alabama and he was saying his goodbyes, I felt nothing.

Two months after he left, I was in my bed alone. I thought about all the times he had said goodbye before leaving for his job in Alabama, so far away from Pennsylvania, over and over and over again. I thought about it so much, I ended up crying myself to sleep, and then waking up later that night more than once when that memory appeared throughout my dreams.

But that's not a problem anymore. He's home now, his job ending just two months before now.

The thought of how sadness only comes when I'm alone stresses me out. I'm not so open with my emotions, and that scares me. I can't help it, it just happens.

I'm scared about what will happen when I get hurt too badly. I'm confused whether or not I will be able to take care of myself, or if I will be able to turn to my family or Lizza. What happens if something happens to Lizza when the time comes that I eventually collapse? What if my family was taken away from me? Will I be able to live with myself all alone?

I squeezed my eyes shut. They were tearing up from all these thoughts. I pulled my blanket over my head.

It won't last much longer. You can still make life worthwhile. Don't give up unless faith has decided it is time.