May 17, 33 AE

Mack was, essentially, benched.

It was impossible for his little breakdown to go unnoticed in a room filled with healers, and it didn't take long for someone to track down his last known supervisor while he was pitifully crouched in a corner, dry heaving. And no matter how much he tried to convince Amira he was fine, she shot down each of his arguments with an unimpressed look and ordered him to leave for the day.

Maybe he shouldn't have called her "Mimi" in an attempt to act playful; it obviously showed his lapse in judgement.

Thankfully, she at least allowed him to linger at the edge of the continuing commotion under the assumption that he was waiting for a ride home. But what Mack really intended was to stay and observe, and if Amira knew he was lying, she didn't call him out on it.

In exchange, Mack kept to his word and kept out of the way, sticking to the side of a neighboring building like a fly as he watched the scene play out without him. While he didn't exactly like his job in general, this was the part he preferred--the being able to help people part, not the witnessing buildings exploding part--and he wasn't even able to do anything now.

More than once, he caught his legs bouncing anxiously; he gave up trying to stop them after the fifth time.

As the minutes passed when all he could do was spectate, Mack felt himself grow weary. It wasn't long before the intervals between his yawns shortened, and head would bump against the cool brick wall behind him moments after his eyes drifted shut.

At some point, he must have actually dozed off because he awoke to the feeling of a cat's gentle tapping at his shoulder.

When Mack opened his eyes, he immediately looked down at the wall beside him, expecting to see a cat waiting to be petted. It took him a few blinks to realize there was nothing there, then another to realize someone was standing in front of him.

"Mack?" Jordan said, his voice sounding much softer than normal. "Are you okay?"

Mack blinked another time before looking at the ground around them.

"Did you see a cat?" he asked, searching for any sign of a furry face or tail. Mack really wanted to pet a cat just then.

"A cat?" Jordan repeated. "No, I don't think so."

"It was tapping me," Mack insisted, now scanning the bustle of guardians for a feline slipping between the commotion.

"Tapping? That was me."

Mack halted his search to finally get a good look at Jordan.

The other man did remind Mack of a gray cat. He was wearing a soft-looking long sleeved shirt that matched the color of the dark ash that clouded the lab's basement. His slim, ripped jeans, sharply contrasting with his pitch black belt, matched the shade of the concrete slabs that had broken off during the explosion. And his sneakers seemed to be painted by the thick smoke that rose into the clear blue sky just moments ago.

"Mack?" Jordan asked.

"I need to get out of here," Mack said without thinking, and even he was shocked to hear those words coming from his mouth.

And while a part of him still wanted to stay and help, he didn't take his words back.

"That's what I'm here for," Jordan said, as if Mack hadn't just said something completely unexpected. "My car's nearby."

A thought suddenly hit Mack, and his gaze snapped up from where he had still been staring at Jordan's shoes, and directly into the man's dark eyes.

"What are you doing here anyway?" Mack asked, suddenly concerned. "You weren't... you weren't nearby, were you?"

"Huh?" Jordan looked confused. "No, I--we were texting, remember? You were talking gibberish and sending me weird emojis, so I figured I'd come and see how you were holding up."

For some reason, Jordan's eyes widened once his explanation was complete, and a faint pink appeared on his cheeks. And the sight of that blush was just enough to ignite a spark of warmth in Mack's hollow chest.

With that, it didn't take much more to get Mack to his feet, and with Jordan only supplying a small fraction of his weight, they began to head inside the side entrance of the building Mack had been loitering around.

Inside, the first floor looked like an expansive, high-end music store with a wide array of elegant instruments that Mack could only partially identify, and the pristine beauty was a stark contrast to the chaos happening just outside.

"What're we doing here?" Mack asked, doing his best not to jostle anything in his unsteady state. "Sorry, but I'm not in the mood for shopping."

"It was the only way I could get into the area," Jordan explained through pants for air. (Either Jordan was seriously out of shape, or Mack was leaning on him more than he realized.) "The owner was watching from outside and recognized me when I was trying to get through, so he told me to use the side entrances of his shop."

Soon after Jordan led them through the vast sales floor to the back of the store, an older man was waiting for them by another door with raised eyebrows. While he clearly appeared bewildered by Mack's presence, he didn't say anything as he unlocked the door for them, checked outside, then ushered them through.

This side of the building was like a completely different world with absolutely no sign of the chaos happening on the other end of the block. Mack supposed it wasn't completely unexpected since the lab didn't extend as far back as the music store did, but it was still surreal.

After the man and Jordan had a brief conversation in Korean, they parted ways, and Mack wasn't carrying much of his own weight by the time they reached Jordan's car parallel parked a short stumble down the street. Mack's exhaustion became even more apparent when Jordan essentially deposited him in the passenger's seat, and Mack immediately slumped against the door as soon as it was closed.

"Sorry," Mack mumbled once Jordan settled behind the steering wheel.

"For what?" Jordan asked, seemingly going through a mental checklist as he prepared to drive.

Mack didn't want to disturb Jordan's process, and was content with simply watching the other man check his mirrors, brakes, mirrors, gear, and mirrors before pulling onto the road.

"Making you go through all that trouble," Mack continued wearily. Exhaustion was finally catching up to him again, and he struggled to just keep his eyes open.

"It's fine," Jordan assured, not taking his gaze off the road. "I wanted to help anway."

Again, Jordan's eyes grew at his own admission, as did the warmth in Mack's chest.

"Then thanks for helping," Mack amended, then grinned. "And for being such a smooth talker to the elderly."

Jordan definitely blushed at that, and his hands gripped the steering just a bit tighter.

"That--that's not what happened!" Jordan exclaimed, his focus now adamantly glued to the road alone.

Mack merely chuckled; he didn't have enough energy to continue his teasing, but the one jab he got was good enough.

His premature conclusion to his comedic routine must've surprised Jordan since the other man finally took his eyes off the road to glance at Mack with concern.

"Go to sleep, if you want," Jordan assured. "I'll take you wherever you need, then wake you up once we're there."

Mack chuckled. "My place or yours?" he mumbled deliriously, then laughed again at the sound of it. "My place."

And then he fell asleep.

The next sequence of events was a blur, and Mack could only piece together the appropriate order of the events with common sense.

At some point, they must have arrived at Mack's building because he vaguely remembered being heaved up three flights of stairs and groggily apologizing about the elevator being broken. He remembered fumbling with his keys at his apartment door, dropping them, then hitting his head on the door knob when he bent down to pick them up. He remembered stumbling over to his beloved couch and throwing himself onto it, not really minding that he seemed to tumble a bit more than normal on his way down.

What he didn't remember is how he ended up on the floor of his living room with a pillow under his head and a couple thick blankets shielding him from the nonexistent chill of a Los Angeles spring.

"What in the world?" he muttered groggily, untangling the blankets from his sweating limbs.

"Sorry, was that too much?" Jordan's voice seemed to come from the heavens or something, and it was another moment before Mack realized the man was in the kitchen.

"Maybe not if I was in Alaska," Mack said as he pushed himself upright, and he rubbed the heel of his hand at a newly forming headache. "And is it just me or is it really warm in here?"

"Sorry, I was... making something," Jordan explained, finally emerging from the kitchen with a glass of water in hand. "I... may have also read that metas can be more powerful in warmer climates."

Jordan's last statement was enough to make Mack pause just as he accepted the offered drink, and as tired as he was, his resulting smile was effortless.

"You did research online, didn't you?" Mack asked, suddenly feeling a million times happier.

"I was concerned!" Jordan argued. "Give that back if you're going to make fun of me."

But when Jordan reached out for the glass, Mack buried his face in it instead, stuffing his mouth and chin into the cup and pressing it firmly against his cheeks. He grinned mischievously at Jordan through the water; Jordan pinched his face in disgust.

"You know all that dust and crap that's on your face is getting in the water now, and you're going to have to drink it," he said, then marched back to the kitchen defiantly.

While Mack was still fine with it, Jordan still returned a few seconds later with a new glass of water and forced Mack to relinquish his grime-filled one. Even Mack's defense about an increased utility bill fell to deaf ears when Jordan assured that he would pay Mack's dues for the month. Besides, Mack was still tired, so he eventually relented to Jordan, drank his fresh cup of water, and went to clean up.

By the time Mack showered and changed, his apartment was filled with delicious smells, and while Mack couldn't pinpoint exactly what they were from, they still made his mouth water and his stomach growl. He found Jordan arranging an array of dishes on the dining table, the only table that Mack normally used for anything but dining.

The warmth in his chest grew again.

"This looks like a feast!" Mack exclaimed, his eyes already searching for what he wanted to eat first.

"Everything's vegetarian, but it's all delivery," Jordan mumbled. "I tried to make some dishes I thought I knew... but I guess I didn't know them that well."

Mack took his gaze off the food to see Jordan staring at the stove where a cluster of pots and pans sat abandoned.

"It's fine," Mack assured, coaxing Jordan's attention away from the kitchen. "You've done more than enough. Let's just eat, okay?"

Jordan hesitated, then nodded, and the two began breaking into the food soon after.

While Jordan probably ordered enough to feed a family of four for two meals, Mack could normally eat for three, and he had expended a lot of energy that day. Their feast ended with them full and splayed across the couch, leaning on the opposite arm rests with their legs sharing the cushion between them. In their food coma delirium, they exchanged a look, then laughed at the whole absurdity of it all.

And it was at that moment that Mack knew. He knew that the warmth that was expanding in his chest was something that Jordan never failed to do to him. He knew that it took Jordan almost no effort at all to ignite that flame, and only a simple word or gesture was enough to do the trick. He knew that he was addicted to that feeling, and he knew he wouldn't mind feeling it every day for the rest of his life.

Mack smiled easily at Jordan; Jordan grinned back.

The warmth in Mack's chest was burning bright.

"Hey," Mack began, tilting his head. "You wanna go out with me?"

For a moment, Jordan stared at him blankly, his grin slowly fading, before his expression transfigured into bewildered confusion.

"Right now?" he exclaimed.

Mack took a second to think about it then shrugged. "Yeah, sure. Why not?"

"Wha--?" Again Jordan could only stare at him in shock, mouth ajar, before letting out a long sigh. "Well, I don't know! Maybe because there was a literal terrorist attack that you almost got caught in, and you only missed it because you were sent to take care of some other crazy thing, and you still look like you're two steps away from passing out!"

Mack waited a beat for more of an explanation, but none came. "So?"

"'So'?!?" Jordan sighed again, this time slightly more aggressively. "So how could you even think about going anywhere right now?"

Something wasn't adding up. Mack stared at Jordan for a few more seconds, then let his gaze travel around the room as if something lying around would explain Jordan's train of thought. His mind must have been more tired than he thought because it was ages before Mack realized where the miscommunication was.

"I don't want to go outside," Mack began to clarify, turning back to Jordan.

"Damn right you don't," Jordan said, nodding confidently. "We're staying right here, where it's relatively safe."

"I want to date you," Mack finally added.

Evidently, it was possible for Jordan to be more shocked than he previously was, and all he could do was revert to his wide eyes and open mouth. After a minute, Mack was actually a little worried by how frozen Jordan was, and he briefly wondered if Jordan was receiving an electrical shock or something.

So Mack leaned across the chair and tapped Jordan's ankle with a finger. Jordan did end up flinching away, but Mack considered it a win that he didn't get shocked as well.

"We don't have to of course," Mack assured, leaning back in his seat. "I just liked the idea, and I thought you might too."

Jordan's lips began to move as if he was trying to say something, but no sound came out until several attempts later. "But we're both... we're both..."

"Consenting human adults?" Mack shrugged. "That's legal, right?"

Jordan ignored him. "We're both... men."

Mack nodded sagely. "That does complicate things, doesn't it? How will we know who's supposed to pay for meals? Who's supposed to buy flowers? Can we just not buy flowers? It seems like such a waste to cut them only to watch them die."

"I'm serious, Mack!" Jordan insisted as he pushed himself upright, his shock now transformed into... something unreadable. "We can't do that!"

Judging by Jordan's tone, Mack knew he shouldn't joke, but he couldn't help his confusion.

"You like me too, don't you?" Mack asked.

He knew the answer without Jordan having to say anything. How could he not know, when the looks Jordan always gave him perfectly mirrored Mack's own feelings?

But he also knew that Jordan was scared. And that fear was what lay beneath Jordan's current incomprehensible expression.

So when Jordan opened his mouth again, Mack was worried for Jordan to reject him outright.

"I never said that," Jordan whispered instead.

"You didn't," Mack agreed, his voice nearly equally soft.

For a moment, they simply watched each other: Mack waiting patiently for Jordan's answer, and Jordan anxiously waiting for fate to decide.

"It's not as simple as you think," Jordan finally spoke, each of his words sounding a whisper away from shattering into millions of pieces.

"Relationships rarely are," Mack said.

"But this isn't just any relationship!" Jordan suddenly exclaimed, his final syllable getting caught in his throat.

It was Mack's turn to be shocked by Jordan, and he could only watch as the other man silently collected himself.

"I'm sorry," Jordan whispered. "It's just that... my last one didn't end so well."

Again, that wasn't what Mack expected. "You mean with Elsie? Isn't she your best friend?"

"No!" Jordan interjected, then winced at his outburst. "No, that wasn't... that wasn't really real..."

Jordan let out a long, shaky sigh, and hugged one of his knees to his chest.

"It was just some... stupid favor she was doing for my brother," Jordan explained, his gaze unusually focused on his wiggling toes. "And I only needed that favor because of my last relationship."

When Jordan didn't seem like he was going to continue, Mack stepped in.

"The one that ended badly," Mack concluded.

There was a pause. Jordan nodded.

Mack grew quiet as well. As much as he wanted to date Jordan, he also didn't want to make him uncomfortable, and romance seemed to trigger a flurry of emotions for the man, none of which were anything good. Mack had no idea what caused Jordan's looks of fear, his twitches of anxiety, his cries of longing, or his bearing of remorse. All Mack knew was that he didn't want to be the cause of those feelings if he could help it.

"It's okay," Mack assured softly.

But Jordan didn't react, and he remained hunched over his knee, weighed down by a burden no one else could see. For such a tall man, he looked so small at that very moment, and Mack was tempted to wrap him in the tightest hug possible.

"Jordan," Mack said, and he waited for the man's gaze to slowly turn. "It's okay. We don't have to do this, you know. We're fine as it is."

And that was the truth. They were friends, and Mack's relationship status didn't change--wouldn't change--how happy Jordan made him feel.

Mack was so set on this outcome, in fact, that it took him a moment to comprehend Jordan's next words.

"But I want that," Jordan said, his gaze returning to focus on his feet.

Eventually, he carefully raised his eyes to meet Mack's "I want that--us. I'm just... I'm scared of us ending badly."

As much as Mack wanted to assure that they would never end, that was a promise he knew neither of them could keep.

"Then we can just enjoy 'us' while it lasts," Mack replied. "And if we end up ending badly... well, at least we tried. I wouldn't mind a little extra happiness in my life, even if it's just for a short while. What about you?"

With that, Mack simply watched Jordan mull the idea over in his mind. This wasn't a debate, and he wasn't trying to convince Jordan to agree with him. This was more of a consensus, and Mack wouldn't tell him what to think or feel.

"If we do this..." Jordan finally broke the silence. "We can't tell anybody."

Mack wasn't surprised by Jordan's request, but he was a little disappointed. While the Org jumped at chances for their guardians to represent minority groups, he knew Jordan's career wouldn't be as forgiving. Mack didn't expect Jordan to sacrifice his hopes and dreams for a chance at happiness that may not even last.

"That can be arranged," Mack agreed.

"Especially not Elsie," Jordan continued. "She may be my best friend, but that girl can't keep a secret to save her life."

Mack grinned. "I've noticed."

Jordan eyed him suspiciously.

"What?" he asked nervously.

"Oh, nothing," Mack replied with exaggerated innocence.

"What did she tell you?" Jordan pressed slightly more aggressively, leaning towards Mack ever so slightly.

"Nothing much," Mack repeated. "She just might've mentioned a conversation you two had about me."

While Mack did feel a little guilty at the sight of Jordan's shock and subsequent blushing, he couldn't help but chuckle when Jordan covered his face with his hands and let out a defeated groan.

"So that's how you knew," Jordan mumbled into his palms.

"Knew what?" Mack asked simply, playing along.

Jordan dropped his hands to raise an eyebrow at Mack, his lips curled into a subtle frown. "You're really gonna make me say it?"

"Say what?"

Jordan's frown deepened. "That I..." he sighed, "... like you."

Mack finally allowed his look of innocence to transform into one of mischief.

"Actually, she didn't say that," he clarified with a grin. "But you just did."

His trick earned him a few strikes from a pillow, but it was worth it.

"You asshole," Jordan grumbled, finally ending his punishment and returning the battered cushion to the space behind his back.

"But you still like me," Mack said with a knowing smile.

As expected, Jordan blushed and averted his eyes to the coffee table, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"Maybe," he mumbled. "But I might like you less if you keep teasing me."

"But you still like me enough to go out with me?" Mack asked, gently steering their conversation back to where they started.

This time, Jordan only hesitated for a moment before turning his gaze back to Mack.

"You're really fine if we keep it--us--a secret?" he asked tentatively.

Mack shrugged with a short sigh. "I'll be honest, I'd prefer not to. But I'm willing to do that if that's what makes you comfortable."

"But you'll let me know if that changes, right?" Jordan pressed, almost insistently. "You'll tell me when you start to feel differently? About any of this?"

For some reason, Mack found Jordan's concern to be adorable, and the warmth in his chest expanded once more.

"I promise I'll let you know," Mack assured. "Besides, you already know I'm not the type to hide anything."

Jordan nodded slowly in deep thought. A moment later, he suddenly straightened his posture and let out a short, determined huff.

"Alright," he announced confidently. "Let's do this."

The gesture was so unexpected that Mack didn't have a chance to restrain his burst of laughter.

"What?" Jordan asked, clearly confused.

But Mack couldn't stop laughing to explain. Instead, he simply sat up straight and opened his arms to the other man.

"You're making fun of me again," Jordan accused, not even budging at Mack's nonverbal request.

"I'm not," Mack assured once he found his voice again. "I just really like you and want to give you a hug."

Even though Jordan seemed initially embarrassed by that admission, he eventually leaned forward as well, wrapping his arms around Mack's waist just as Mack pulled him closer.

In that instant, Mack's entire world lit up, as it was like he was seeing the sunlight after a lifetime underground. The warmth that lingered in his chest grew even more, spreading all the way to his fingertips and down to his toes. Jordan's arms around him gave Mack a strength he didn't know he had, and it was enough to brush off the remaining sorrows from his day that still weighed down his spirits. When he inhaled deeply, Mack felt like he could finally breathe again, and he committed the smell of Jordan's soft shirt and fluffy hair to memory, filing it next to a salty sea breeze and a lei of puakenikeni.

He was home.

---

NOTES

And here we finally are! (Of course, their relationship still progressed faster than another duo, but that's  another story called Triple Point.)

On that note, my queue of written chapters is dwindling, so I plan on spacing out updates to every other weekend until I can build more of a buffer. Sorry about this change, and thanks for reading and voting!