“Love is not something where we have hits and trials. It’s not a game. We live once. We fall in love once and that love forever holds a piece of ourselves that no one else can have. A piece that is as pure as an innocent child’s heart, a piece that holds the belief that love can last forever.

But once lost, the cut left by that love is the deepest. The scar left behind irrecoverable. It’s sad not to love, but not being able to love… miserable. And no matter what nothing can repair for that loss. Love is not a fairy tale. It’s not necessary for it to have a happy ending. It’s just love… with memories that no one can steal, but afflictions that no one can heal.

I was doing just fine, trying my best to stay alive. All I ever wanted was to live peacefully with my daughter. But then she came, holding the power that I never thought anyone else could hold… and then, changed it all.

I can never fall in love with her. I know that for sure. I respect her for all that she has done for my family. She’s one of the best persons I have ever met in my life, but… love?!? That’s something I’ll never be able to give her. My heart already belongs to someone else, longs for someone else.

Does that make me selfish? Uncompassionate? Or something that’s even worse? I don’t know but this heaviness in my heart never subsides.”

~ Sanskaar

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“Love is zeal, love is compassion.
Unsaid words, pent-up passion.

We fall in love by chance and one needs courage to take that chance. Life is about having faith in our feelings and having courage to take that chance one more time. Happiness once lost can be found again. Cruel, but true, life never stops for anyone. It goes on, no matter whether you choose to stay chained up by the demons of your past, or you choose to embrace what has happened, take a chance and move on towards the unknown.

Change is inevitable but it always reminds us… It’s all worth it. Something better always awaits us.

Falling in love with him was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He walked into my life and helped me grow into who I was meant to be. He got it right where everyone else got it wrong. Even before I could realize, he became my other half… the song that the beats of my heart had always longed for.”

~ Swara

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Five minutes!

Just five mere minutes was all it took for Sanskaar to lose all his sanity. Everything, that he ever held dear to him, seemed like hanging off a thin rope, about to break any next moment. No power in this world could have prepared him for what he had heard.

“Dr. Maheshwari, please report immediately to the emergency ward. It’s regarding your wife”, the receptionist of his hospital had informed him before every bit of sanity escaped him and he ran out of his office even without giving it a thought.

Aarti… His Aarti. That was all he could think of as his feet mindlessly carried him towards the emergency ward and the moment he reached there, he saw his mother sitting motionlessly on the bench with his father holding her shoulder. ‘In assurance, most possibly’, he thought.

“Maa. Papa. What’s wrong? Why are you guys at the emergency ward instead of maternity?”, he enquired as soon as he reached his parents. “It’s about Aarti’s regular checkup, right?”, he asked on not getting any response from his father who looked so pale by now as if every ounce of blood had been sucked out of his body. One look at his parents and it wasn’t very difficult for Sanskaar to realize that something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

“Papa, what happened? Maa?”, Sanskaar started growing hysteric as an invisible dread started tugging at his heart. Aarti was almost eight months pregnant and today was the day scheduled for her regular checkup.

Looking around for his wife, he asked his mother, “Maa, where is Aarti? Is she in the maternity ward? Shall I go and check on her?“

“She’s not there, son”, his father finally murmured, just loud enough for his son to hear and Sanskaar’s feet that were about to move halted as he turned around to face his father. “What’s wrong, Papa? Is Aarti fine? Is my child alright?”

“We don’t know”, that was his mother’s whisper and noticing the impending apprehension etched all across his son’s feature, Ram Prasad finally said, “Sanskaar… Aarti has… met with an accident and we don’t know anything about the situation.”

Pain!

That was the first thing he felt before an aching hollowness hauled at his heart mercilessly. The powerful urge to cry leaves his entire being in chaos. The bitter pang engulfing his entire being made him weak, so much that he had never experienced before. His knees buckled and he stumbled. Had it not been his father, he would have collapsed on the floor, very much the same way his life seemed collapsing.

“She’s… she’s fine, right? Papa?”

“The doctors are checking…”, his father started but the door to the emergency room opened before he could finish. As if replenished with newfound energy, Sanskaar freed himself from his father’s hold and ran towards Dr. Sheetal Mathur who had just come out after checking on his wife.

“How is my wife, Dr. Mathur?”

A sigh. A deep sigh was the first thing he got as the reply before what Dr. Mathur said became his undoing, “The situation is slipping off our hands, Dr. Maheshwari. Being your colleague, I know this will be a tough decision for you. I have known Aarti ever since you both got married…”

“What’s the matter, doctor?”

“We need to do a premature delivery and the chances of saving both of them are pretty much sleek. I’m sorry, Dr. Maheshwari, but… you must make a choice.”

“No. No. No. No. You’re not asking me to choose between my heart and my breath”, Sanskaar almost screamed. That became his undoing and his first tear broke free.

“Please, Dr. Maheshwari. We can’t lose the precious time of treatment. I request you to make a choice by the time we prepare for the operation. You’re a doctor yourself. You understand it quite well how important it is for us”, Dr. Mathur said before making her way towards the end of the hallway.

“Save my Aarti, doctor. Save my Aarti”, that was all he could say to the retreating figure before it disappeared by the corner of the hallway.

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The turn of events were totally incomprehensible for Sanskaar. Hardly two hours ago, they were discussing about celebrating their third marriage anniversary and, undoubtedly, Aarti had it all ready… at least in her mind. And Sanskaar knew he had to oblige without any objection.

“To lead a peaceful life, remember Mr. Maheshwari, the wife is always right”, that was Aarti’s mantra which Sanskaar was more than happy to conform.

Their life was perfect as it was. Happy and content. And with the news of the advent of their little one, life couldn’t have been any happier. But now he had to choose and he was sure Aarti would never be able to forgive him for the choice he had made.

With his unfaltering gaze on the red light bulb above the operation theater door, time seemed to come to an abrupt impasse for Sanskaar. It was as if that little source of light was his only ray of hope… the only thread his life could hold on to.

And the moment it was switched off, his heart skipped a beat, his breath stuck in his throat. Without giving his mind even a moment to think anything, he pattered towards the now open door, with his parents following right after him.

“Everything… Everything is fine, right? Doctor Mathur?“, Sanskaar stumbled at his words.

“Dr. Maheshwari… I-I’m sorry”, said Dr. Mathur closing her eyes with a deep breath.

“Sorry? What do you mean by sorry?”

Dr. Mathur opened her eyes feeling nothing but pain for her colleague who had become her friend in due course of time. Taking another deep breath, she finally said what she had been trying to avoid ever since she had entered the operation theater.

“Dr. Maheshwari… Sanskaar, everything was under our control. But at the last moment, Aarti made a request. Just for a moment, when she gained consciousness and then she became unconscious again.”

An unknown fear tugged at his heart. ‘Please don’t let it be what he was thinking!’, he silently prayed.

“What-What request?“

“She wanted to save her child.”

“Please don’t tell me that you listened to her”, the tears that he had been trying so hard to fight rolled down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Sanskaar.”

“TO HELL WITH YOUR SORRY. I DON’T WANT YOUR SORRY. I want my wife. Please… Please, I want my Aarti back”, his knees gave up all their strength and he stumbled down on to the floor, clutching the fabric again his chest. This pain… this bitter, unforgiving pain was too much for him to take in.

“We were saving Aarti, Sanskaar”, said Dr. Mathur getting down on her knees, “but then we realized that saving her was getting much more complicated every moment. It was as if… she didn’t want to live. As if she wanted to save her child. All her vitals were dropping. It was then, that we decided to save your child. We had to save at least one of them and your child had better chances of living.”

Words failed Sanskaar. His eyes, now devoid of any emotion except for the pain, looked towards the empty space for finding something to heal his aching heart.

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“Dr. Maheshwari, your wife wants to meet you”, said a nurse slowly as she took in Sanskaar’s haphazard situation, her eyes filled with pity. And Sanskaar didn’t know himself why, but he hated that look of pity.

Without saying anything, with a nod of his head, he followed the nurse inside the operation theater. But nothing in this world could have prepared him for what he was about to see. Lying amidst a cluster of wires and life sustaining equipment, was his Aarti. Though he had been a close acquaintance of these wires and equipment ever since he had taken his first step towards becoming a doctor, but today they all seemed foreign to him, something that his heart wasn’t able to bear.

Reaching towards the outstretched hands of his wife, he secured their entwined fingers with his other hand, as if doing so would be able to stop her from leaving him forever.

“I’m… I’m sorry… Shona Mona”, her voice was nothing but a hoarse whisper, nothing like that lively voice he had always come to love.

He wanted to scold her, or maybe even berate her for the choices she had made. He had never felt so angry and helpless at the same time. He didn’t want her sorry, he wanted her… more than anything else in the world.

“Won’t you… talk to me?”, she whispered again.

No response!

“Not even… not even… for the last time”, the moment these words rolled down Aarti’s tongue, Sanskaar’s hold on her hand tightened even more and his hysterical cries finally turned into uncontrollable sovs

“Please. Please, don’t leave me”, he uttered it incessantly amidst his sobs.

“Sanskaar, please… I-I'll have to. I just… have a small request. Will you… listen?”, Aarti asked with the last ounce of strength left in her. On having Sanskaar’s complete attention towards herself, she continued, “Please… Please take care of our child. Be her father… be her mother. Yes?“

She looked at him with hopeful eyes and Sanskaar nodded his head slowly in agreement. How could he not?! More than his own self, their baby carried a part of his Aarti.

“And... And…”, as her voice became even weaker, she signaled him to come closer and whispered in his ear, “And… please… be strong and live.”

Shocked at her statement, Sanskaar pulled himself back to have a look at her. But before he could ask what she meant by that, or before she could explain, the merciless darkness engulfed her in its embrace, leaving Sanskaar behind all alone to wonder…

Live?

How was he supposed to live when she was carrying away the most important part of his soul with herself?

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A/N

Hello everyone!

Here’s the prologue to the story. I hope it wasn’t too boring.

I don’t know why, but when I figure out Aarti, Sanaya Irani’s face comes to my mind. Do let me know, if anyone crossed your mind, as you read about Aarti.

See you all soon with the first chapter. Till then, stay blessed and happy reading!

With love,
Stella ❤️