I open my eyes and see Jackson laying with his head on my bed, and Michele leans in, "you're safe, Kyle," she says and touches my hand.

My eyes close again.

I open them again, "sweetie!!!!! You're awake, congratulations," I see Gloriana in a red wig.

"Thanks," I croak out, and I fall asleep again.

I come in and out of sleep for seems like days, but I don't know. I wake up, and I'm alone, and it's light out. I wonder what day it is as I try to get up, and the machines start beeping. I look down at my body and see the bruises are still there, but lighter; the cuts have been healed and just show faint scars.

A doctor walks in, "good morning Kyle. I'm happy to see you're awake. Congratulations on winning the games."

I buy myself some time by sitting up, "thank you, sir. How long have I been asleep?" I ask.

"Oh, about a week, the wound on your arm was getting infected, and we needed to clean it out plus the other ones. The medicine worked quickly; you'll be leaving here soon now that you're awake."

"What all did you fix?" I ask.

"2 Broken ribs, several sword, and knife wounds, chipped tooth, nothing too drastic," he says with a smile.

"Where is everyone? Shouldn't my mentors be here?" I ask.

He shrugs, "they were here, but I'll send a message so they can come to collect you," and he checks the machines and looks at my scars and tells me to get dressed, and then leaves.

I'm all alone again, thinking about everything in my life. I pull on the clothes left for me, a simple green T-shirt and black shorts that come down to above my knee and boots again. I notice my bracelet from Jonah is still there, and I smile.

The door opens behind me, and it's a Peacekeeper, "uh hi, do you....do you take me to the tribute center?" He shakes his head and looks around the room before stepping out. The next person who walks in makes my blood run cold.

President Snow is standing in my room, looking at me with a cold smile, "Hello, Mr. Martins. Why don't you take a seat," he says. I sit down on the bed, and he sits down on one of the other chairs. "Congratulations on winning the games, and I'm sorry for your lost," he says, looking right into my eyes.

"Thank you, sir....it's an honor to win," I say back.

"Well, not everyone would agree with you. Not even yourself if you're honest with me. I think it would be best if you and I promised to always be honest with one another, do you agree?" he says.

I nod and say, clearly sounding confused, "of course, sir, I agree."

He just looks at me, studying my face. After a few minutes of silence, he starts speaking, "what would you do for Panem to help keep the peace we have worked so hard for all these years?"

I shallow and say, "I'd do whatever was needed, I guess, but I'm not sure what I could do to help."

He smiles and stands up and extends his hand to me, "Not to worry, I can find a use for you, a special dinner perhaps. I'll send a message tonight with instructions for you to follow. We can test your dedication to Panem." We shake hands, and he leaves. I smell something coppery, but I can't place it.

The next time the door opens, it's Michele, Gloriana, and Portia; all three women smile at me, and I return them and hug each of them in turn. Gloriana is beside herself with excitement. Portia seems happy to see me, but she is quiet. Michele pulls me into a tight hug.

"you'll be ok, I promise," she pulls back, and I see she is tearing up a bit.

I nod, "where are the others?"

She smiles, "we didn't want to overwhelm you. Plus, Alejandro is getting things planned for our return. Let's get back to the tribute center. We can go over the plan for the interviews."

After the games, the victor has a short interview before the highlights are played for the entire nation, followed by a dinner with their Capital Sponsors. Then the next day is an hour-long interview before They are thrown on a train back home.

We head out the doors, and it turns out we were in the same complex as the tribute center. The doors open on the 10th floor, and Alejandro and Jackson are waiting for me. Alejandro gives me a quick handshake, but Jackson pulls me into a hug. That's the moment I start crying, and they all gather around me for a hug; Jackson squirmed out of it because that's just too much touching and we all laugh and cry for a few minutes. We sit down and start talking about the interviews when a message is delivered, telling me to be ready to leave at 6.

I look at the clock, and it's 430. When I start to get up, Michele asks, "what was the message about?"

I look at them all. "oh nothing, President Snow stopped by before you and told me he had a special dinner for me to help with something. He didn't tell me much more, but it says I need to be ready by six and to dress nicely," I say and ask, "what does that mean? A tie?"

I look at all the adults. Michele, Alejandro, and Jackson share a look, but Gloriana is excited about it all.

Portia stands up, " I'll help you pick something out," and we leave the others mostly in silence.

When Portia and I walk into my room, I see it's full of new clothes.

I turn to her, "I've had a busy week since the games ended. I have to make sure you look great and feel great. Plus, we have your victory tour to think about," She reaches up and pushes the hair off of my forehead, "how are you feeling, sweetie?"

I pause because I don't know how I feel and know she wants honesty, " I don't know yet, I let all my rage and anger about Ally out on Aurora, and I actually feel bad about that more than my own sister...I can't believe it," I say sadly.

"It will come, and you'll heal and grow, take a seat," I sit, and she starts picking out clothes and continues talking, "my older brother died when we were about your age, he was hit by a car. Nothing I could do to save him, and it hurt for a long time. Do you know why I'm telling you this?" I shrug, "because you did EVERYTHING you could to save your sister. It will hurt, but you are not to blame, and you can not regret living. do you understand now?" I nod, and she smiles and hands me some clothes.

An hour later, with 15 minutes to spare, I walk out to the living room, and Michele stands up, "you look nice, come over here for a second."

I walk over to her, and she pulls me outside on the balcony, and I know the wind will block out whatever she is about to tell me, "what did President Snow tell you what he has planned for you tonight?"

I shake my head, "just a special dinner that would help Panem, I'm sure I'll be back in a few hours."

She looks out over the city, "just be careful, the President uses all of us differently and for different amounts of time....I can't tell you what will happen, but it will be more than a dinner," and she walks back inside.

I take her place, looking out over the city. "what the fuck am I getting into," I mutter to myself.

I hear a knock on the glass, and I turn to see Jackson, looking grim and waving me inside, where I see two Peacekeepers, and they walk me out of the suite and down to a car where it drives off into the capital.

The car arrives at a large building, pulls into an underground garage before it comes to a stop.

A peacekeeper opens the door and leads me to an elevator, "16th floor, we will be here when you're done to take you back," is all he says. I get on the elevator, and the doors close, and suddenly I'm nervous.

When the elevator stops next, it opens up into a beautiful apartment, and an Avox is waiting for me and takes me to the living room and directs me to sit, which I do. I am all alone in the fancy apartment for 10 minutes when the elevator door opens again, the same avox is leading someone else into the living room, and I feel my mouth drop as Finnick Odar walks in, takes one look at me, and says, "well hey there Cowboy. this should be fun."

I look at him, completely dumbfounded, "what are you doing here?" I finally say.

"Oh me? I'm here for a good time at the request of our dear President, and I assume you're here for the same reason."

I nod, "but I didn't know what that meant before, and I have less understanding of it now."

Finnick smiles, "don't worry. you and I will get through this together."

What does that even mean? He smiles, and I see his sea-green eyes and brilliant smile. The Avox walks out and signals for us to follow her. When we enter the room, she points to a middle-aged man in a stiff grey and red uniform of Panem military Officer. He directs Finnick and me to stand in front of him. I look over at Finnick and realize I am about 6 inches taller than him, and he is toned vs. my large muscles, two 18-year-olds in their prime.

The guy walks around us, and I see him feeling Finnick's arms, "remember this is our little secret, Mr. Odir," and he turns to me, "same with you young man, this will stay between the three of us, do you understand," and we both nod.

"Good. Now take off your clothes," he says, and my eyes go wide, "don't be shy. I know you've done this sort of thing before. Now take it off." Finnick is already undressing but isn't looking at me.

I start to say, "Uh sir, I don't know if this is what I'm supposed to do...." his glare stops me, and he walks over to me.

"Do you know who I am," I shake my head, "well, I'm one of the most powerful men in Panem," and he rips my shirt open, and the buttons fall to the ground?

At this point, I'm shaking, but Finnick reaches over and helps me with the rest, and he is entirely naked. I'm staring at one of the most attractive men in the world, and I'm still shaking.

"Don't worry. It will just be us. He usually just watches. Do you want to give or receive? What's your preference?" Asks Finnick as he takes my hand and leads me to the bed. The guy is in a chair drinking something.

"I prefer to bottom....or at least that's all I've ever done; why break tradition," I mumble.

Finnick laughs and gives me a tentative kiss, "let's do this. Just go with the flow. he usually just lets this go for an hour or so, sometimes he will come over and touch, but that doesn't happen every time, ok."

I nod my head, and he sits down on the bed, and I follow his lead.

In the corner, I hear the guy say, "kiss," and we do. The older man gives us commands for the better part of an hour before he tells Finnick to put on a good show, and he flips me over, and he takes me from behind. Honestly, if I weren't being watched or forced into having sex, it would have been amazing. The guy walks over to me as Finnick is pounding away to a climactic finish, and he kisses me too. He stands up and walks out the door.

Finnick stands up and hands me a towel, "go wash off, and we can head out together, ok," he says.

"Ummm ....ok.....I'm sorry you had to do that," I say and look down at my feet as I walk off.

I shower, and I walk out and see Finnick is there, also washed off, and he smiles and pats the bed for me to sit next to him. "How are you feeling, I know that wasn't your first time, but it's not a normal occurrence for most people."

I nod. I don't have much to say other than, "President Snow doesn't seem like the kind of person you can say no to."

Finnick laughs and smiles, "you're smart. In a couple of years, someone else will come to replace you, and he will "need" you less and less, but it's best to just go with it." He hands me an envelope that turns out to have money in it, " and until then, you get something out of it."

I look at the money and look at him. "Come on, Cowboy, let's get you back," he says with a smile.

I have to ask before we aren't alone, "wait, are you gay? I always thought you were straight."

He sighs, "no, I'm straight, but when President Snow sets up a meeting like this, you don't have a say in what happens. You'll get use to it, and I'm sorry about that. The money isn't worth it, but the secrets people tell you that will blow your mind." He pats me on the back and smiles, and I am kind of curious what all he knows.

We head out, and they let us take the same car back to the tribute center, and Finnick tells me about some of the things he has had to do in the last year; he won 4 years ago at 14, so we are the same age now. My mind spins at everything I've been told.

I just follow him to the elevator, and he presses the buttons. Suddenly I remember, "I'm sorry about Harbor, I didn't know her, but I'm still sorry."

He shrugs, "I can't say it's ok because it will never be fixed, but you did what we all had to do to survive. I'm sorry about your sister. I thought you might get her out."

The door opens for his floor, and I see an older lady standing there with her arms open. Another victor, maybe?

The elevator continues up and opens on my floor; Michele, Alejandro, and Jackson get up and meet me at the end of the entrance.

They all have sad, knowing faces on, "come eat. We sent Gloriana and Portia home, so it's just us," says Michele.

We sit down, and I realize this is my life now. This would have been Ally's life if she has won.

Before I can stop myself, I hear myself say, "I'm glad she didn't win if that's what would have happened to her," my eyes go wide, and I am suddenly crying, hard.

I am crying like I did that night. I'm crying for her, but this time I'm also crying for myself. Suddenly I feel Jackson hugging me again.

I look at them all, "Is this what happened to you all?"

Alejandro nods, "for about five years until I wasn't the pretty new thing."

I turn to Jackson. He is grim, "I didn't have to do what you did, but they did have me stand around a party naked. I think my quirkiness keeps me from being used like that."

Michele adds, " I had to deal with it for a couple of years until I came to the games pregnant. The Capital loved it, and it shielded me. Then they moved on. Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head and start to eat slowly. Michele eyes me and says, "the interview is at six, and it will take about 3 hours with all the game highlights. Then a party for the sponsors. Those can go late, so the final interview is here, and then we get on the train and go home for the celebration there."

"How many sponsors did we have?" I ask.

Michele doesn't look at me, "quite a few in the Capital and some back home and other districts, you and Ally were popular."

I nod again, holding back tears. We eat, and they make awkward small talk until I say I am going to bed. They wish me a good night, and I head off, change, and then as soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm gone.

The next morning, I wake up, and I lay in bed for a bit before deciding to get up. I head to the dining room, and I see my entire prep team eating breakfast. They all scream and shout and jump up and hug me. Telling me how great the games were and how excited they were watching them. I'm impressed that I don't punch them right away, but I stand firm. Portia isn't around, so it's Michele who shoos them out and tells me to eat.

She reaches up and tries to pat down my bed head, "don't bother. It's a losing battle until I shower," I say.
As I take my seat, I ask, "what's the plan today, anyway?"

Coral is the one who speaks up first, "we are going to do a makeover, you'll look amazing sweetheart. then Portia will come in with the clothes for tonight," she finishes with a look to Jackson. He sighs and continues the schedule, "then you'll do the highlights and the crowning with President Snow, and the dinner with capital sponsors. Tomorrow you'll do a one-hour wrap-up interview with Caesar, and then we head home for the celebration there."

Coral claps, " so many parties, be sure you have lots of fun; it will be a good time."

I roll my eyes, "it would probably be better if my sister wasn't dead, but I'm sure it will be.....fun," I snap.

She blanches, and I see her go white even under the yellow makeup that covers her face.

"Kyle! Be nice," I hear Gloriana say. I get up and leave the table, only turning back to take my plate with me.

They talk for a bit in hushed voices, and I hear them call my name. I turn around, and Gloriana is waving me back over with a smile. It's time for the prep team to do their magic. Philip smiles as well, but Coral doesn't, "fuck, I know I hurt her feelings," I think to myself.

It's not her fault that she was born here, and it's just a game for her. We walk back into my room, and I turn to her, "I'm sorry I snapped at you...I just miss her and ..I wish she had won instead," I say, and my voice cracks, and she has tears in her eyes as well.

"It's ok, sweetheart, you've lost more than most Victors. I should have thought of that before I said something," she says.

I pull her into a hug with my left arm, and after a second, I pull Philip in as well.

They both come up to my chest, "thank you for helping me survive," I say earnestly to them both.

After a second, I hear Gloriana, "ok, ok, this is adorable and sweet, but we have a schedule we can't fall behind."

I look over at her, and she is happy to see us get along, "Glory, don't be jealous. You can have a hug too if you want," I joke and open my arms wide.
She laughs and walks off.

The prep team gets to work, I'm waxed again, and I get a haircut with the lightning bolts craved in again.

"These are popular now that you've won; you'll see a lot of them on clothes," Philip says with a smile.

They polish my fingernails but, unlike before, they paint them blue and yellow with alternating colored lightning bolts. I look at them closely and admire the work.

"I've never had my fingernails painted before; Ally likes to paint our toenails, though...I mean.... she liked to do that," I choke out the last part and start crying again.

Philip and Coral are shocked and try their best to get me to calm down, but Coral says something to Philip that I can't understand or care about, and she leaves.

The next thing I know, someone hands me a glass of something, "drink this, it will help, kid," it's Alejandro. I look up, "drink it, it won't help you forever, but it will help you now." he hits his glass on mine and shallows it in one gulp. I do the same, and I hate it, but the burning feeling makes me stop crying.

"Thanks, Alejandro," I gasp out.

He nods and heads out, and Coral takes his place, I see Michele standing at the door glaring at him, and she whispers something angry to him.

He just shrugs and says, " who cares? It's going to happen one way or the other.  might as well be us," and he pushes past her and leaves.

The prep finishes up, and we eat lunch; they ordered the blue cheese salad I love so much, and it's incredible as always. Portia arrives with a few options for me, and we head back to the room, I should have guessed based on the nails, but everything is blue or yellow.

"these colors look the best on you, especially when you have your summer tan. I think green will be better in winter, but we will see when the tour gets started," she says, looking at all the clothes.

I nod and look at the clothes; the shoes are blue and yellow; the pants are the same blue, and the shirt is yellow and a button-up with short sleeves again.

I look at her as she fits it around my bicep, " again, with the arms, huh?" I say with a smile.

"You're hot, now shut up and show off," she says with a smirk and leaves the three top buttons undone, "I have something for you, I hope you're not mad," she pulls out Ally's locket.

I take a deep breath and reach out for it and open it for the first time. It's a picture of the four of us from a couple of years ago on one side, and on the other side, it's a picture of Jonah.

"I added Jonah for you. I hope you don't mind," I shake my head and mutter something that I hope sounds like thank you.

She puts it on, and it falls right on to my open shirt. "You look amazing. Now sit, let's do your hair and makeup, and you're done," she says and pushes me into a chair.

She adds yellow eyeliner to one eye and blue to the other and puts a glittery gel in my hair.

"Now take a look," she says.

I turn around and take myself in for the first time. I look bright and colorful. I look happy and healthy. I look like a victor.....even if I don't feel like one. I hear Gloriana calling us to eat something before we head down, I'm not hungry, but I enjoy the time I have with them.

The interview is held in the Tribute Center; I'll sit on a throne and watch the games with Caeser, who will ask me some questions during the highlights. When I am left all alone waiting for Caeser to call me, I walk to the big ten on the floor. It was just over a week ago that I was here last time, with Jillian, Romulus and Ally, and the others. I hear my name, and someone with a headset is signaling for me to move up to the curtain. I hear the crowd in the plaza, loud and happy. This is the end of their biggest week; they can't wait.

Caesar walks out, and the crowd starts cheering; he pats the air to quiet them, "Welcome. Welcome. Tonight will be a treat for us all; our Victor Kyle Martins will be out to relive his victory in the arena. Aren't you all EXCITED!!!" He ends in a yell as the crowd goes wild, "let's bring him out. welcome the victor of 68th Hunger Games from District 10, Kyle Martins," he turns to my doorway, and I start walking out, waving and smiling like they actually cared about me.

Caesar points to the throne and tells me to take a seat, "welcome back, Kyle. How are you feeling?" He says.

I know he doesn't want the real answer, "great Caesar, my arms all healed up," I flex. "my chest is better," I point to my shirt. " I won...I can't believe it sometimes, but it's real."

I have to shout the last part as the audience is screaming themselves hoarse. Caesar smiles, "yes, you do look amazing. I'll be honest, your games were quite interesting, to say the least, but I'm not sure you know everything that happened in the arena, do you?"

I guess I never asked what happened to the others. I shake my head, " no, actually, if it didn't happen to me, I don't know it. These highlights should be interesting."

He gives an awkward smile, "we let's get things started then, shall we?"

The crowd cheers, and the anthem starts to play, and it opens on district 1 for their reaping. The Gamemakers put together a two and a half-hour recap of the games each year, which can be problematic if the games go on for weeks, but I won in just over four days, so each tribute gets a little bit more screen time than usual. Mainly Romulus, Aurora, Harbor, Bonnie, Jillian, and Ally, the final 7, but it's clear the story is a brother's love, so I am the focus.

We watch all the reapings happen quickly, but District 10 is played from start to finish, and it shows us leaving on the train and then our arrival at the Capital where I picked Ally up to show her the whole crowd. The audience loves that part, just like before. It zooms right into the parade, all the tributes have screen time, and we all look amazing; I physically fall back when I see Ally and me, waving. I know it's noticeable because Caesar puts a hand on my knee, and the audience makes a sound. President Snow's speech is next, and the camera ends on us, Ally on my shoulder. The scores and interviews are next, Ally and I are the only ones played in full, and I have to relieve the moment I shared Jonah with the world, and I hold my bracelet. The interviews end with Jake, and the screen fades out, and it opens on the arena.

I lean forward cause I have to pretend to be into this; it's part of the show. I see Romulus and Titus and Ally. The gong sounds, and I wish I could look away, I see the death of the boy I pushed, who's name is Otto from District 5, and his death followed by Topaz and Bella. It then shows me accidentally hitting the boy from 8 when I was aiming at Titus, and the exchange between Romulus and I, before I ran away with Ally.

"Now, Kyle, what happened there between you and Romulus?" Caesar asks.

" He and I agreed to take Titus out first; Jake from District 12 was in on the deal," I explain.

The crowd seems excited about that alliance, and the show continues. I tune out the parts about me but I am curious about what happened to the others. Lily ran off by herself, Jillian and Brian ran off together after I saved her. Titus ran off in a similar direction as Jillian, and the careers round up the supplies and seem shocked that Topaz and Bella were killed right next to each other, and they head off in the direction of Lily and some of the others. The camera is now on Jillian and Brian when Titus attacks them, and it's just like she described, she runs, and he is bleeding on the ground. I hear the audience breathe in when it happens, Titus cut open his chest and starts eating something, but the screen cuts away to Jillian running. I recoil back. I feel the crowd grimace, knowing Titus was eating Brian.

It's back on us with Jillian, and then Hex attacks me, and I kill him. Titus is running from the monkeys, but they are keeping their distance. Lily is alone, Sage, Melissa, and Bonnie have teamed up together, and the careers are hunting, and they turn back to the cornucopia. The screen fades out and is replaced by Day 2, the story continues with Ally and I being together and having fun with Jillian, Titus is trapped by the monkeys, and it's clear that the Gamemakers did that to protect the rest of us.

The careers find Lily, who hits River in the face before being killed, "she went down swinging, I'm happy I knew her," I shout, and the crowd cheers and Caesar makes a face to them saying 'isn't Kyle just the sweetest?. The trio of girls are talking about their lives, but seem safe.

The show continues on to Day 3, the day Titus dies. It turns out Ally was right; River was Titus' victim. I watch handsome Romulus on high alert when they come across the pile of dead monkeys and say they should go back when Titus runs out and throws River to the side of a tree. The other three-run and River has his arm ripped off, and it cuts away to Ally, Jillian, and myself. We missed the careers by an hour when we walk in the same area they ran from without stopping. It seems like the monkeys were chasing them and left a hole for us to walk through before we got startled and ran directly into Titus.

They play the scene in full all the way up to my spearing him in the leg and the rockslide crushing him. They show every tributes reactions to the rockslide, and most of them are thrown to the ground. The monkeys run from it like animals do and stumble into Melissa, Sage, and Bonnie. Bonnie is the only one that escapes alive. They play out more of Ally and I talking As we went to bed. The crowd loves us together, and I take a moment to smile longingly at my baby sister.

Day 4 flashes on the screen, and I have to watch the fight all over again. I see Aurora running but looking scared when she hears me SCREAMING. They show District 2 and 10, the main square, on a three-way screen; as the fight starts, the crowd gasps and moves with me. I see people back home begin to cry when I am holding Ally; the crowd in the Capital is crying now.

I can't take much more of this, but then my father is yelling for me. My brothers are holding him back, and he pushes them both away; he gets up on the stage he is clearly overcome with emotion. I think I'm hearing him cry for his daughter until I listen to him say my name; he turns to the crowd, " please help him. Help my baby boy!!!! You all saw what he can do. You know him. PLEASE!!!! He drops to his knee, holding out his hat, and it's Jonah's parents who take it from him and put some money in it and pass it along. I see my home district pulling together to get the money for what turns out to be my pitchfork.

I wipe tears away and watch as I clean the blood off and see the exchange between Bonnie and me. The crowd cheers when I get the pitchfork, and I run off to find Aurora. They play it out in real-time as I see her and toy with her, and kill her. The screen fades out and shows day 5. I know we are almost done. There isn't much left besides Bonnie's reaction to the announcement and running to the cornucopia. And then it's all over, and I collapse on the ground. The crowd is applauding me, and they show a live shot of Districts 2, 8, 9, 10, even 12, and everyone there is cheering for me too. So they don't all hate me. President Snow walks out with Augustus Braun, who won last year....and killed Jonah personally. He takes the crown off the pillow and proclaims me the victor of the 68th Hunger Games. Augustus is joined by Jackson, Finnick, and a brother and sister from District 1, Gloss and Cashmere, who won back to back years. The previous 5 victors standing with me as the anthem plays, and the show ends.

Jackson and I are rushed off stage with a quick exchange with Finnick Gloss and Cashmere.

Finnick stops me before I head out, "call me when you get home. You're my friend now, got it," he says with a brilliant smile, and Jackson looks at me as he walks away, questioning me.

"I'm sure you've figured it out, don't make me say it," I groan, and he nods.

Jackson and I leave for a party that turns out to be an endless parade of people saying they loved my sister, and I am saying thank you over and over for the food and medicine and the pitchfork. Alejandro hands me another drink to help, and Michele swoops in and takes it away after a few sips. So now I know what they were fighting about earlier, at least. Portia is a star for her bold fashion choices, and she compliments my skills, heart, brain, and body repeatedly.

Jackson, Alejandro, and Michele are swamped by people as well, congratulating them over and over. I am handed cards and gifts by so many people I lose track of them all and drop some, one of the younger gamemakers comes over and helps me pick them up.

Gloriana takes them all and says she will give them to me on the train. "You did a great job in the arena," the Gamemaker says with a wink before he walks away.

The prep team comes over, and they are beyond excited for everything. Before we leave, that same Gamemaker introduces me to Harley Breen, the Head Gamemaker.

She pulls me aside, "I wanted to personally thank you for helping us with Titus. We couldn't just get rid of him without the crowds thinking the games are fixed. You did us a massive favor," she smiles.

I realize what she means, and I whisper, "you sent us the medicine?"

She nods and mouths 'be quiet,' and leaves me in the sea of people.

FINALLY, Gloriana signals that I need to sleep for the interview tomorrow, and we all head home. I lay my head on my pillow and close my eyes as the tears flood out.

I wake up, and I feel like death. I don't think I drank enough for it to be a hangover. It's probably all the crying I did all night. The prep team is knocking on the door and are clearly worse for Wear and than I am, they are trying to be quick as possible while I am made pretty again. Portia has me wearing the parade's overalls and a white button-up shirt. I look like I might actually be from District 10.

The interview takes place in the suite, and it's just Caesar and me. I walk out early, thinking I'll have some downtime, but Caesar is already there in his pink hair. He gestures for me to sit, and I am fitted with a microphone. He sits down, and I can tell they are almost ready, so I stay quiet.

He is checking something on his notes and asks, "are you nervous? You're so quiet."

I shake my head, "no, I just thought you'd want me to save the talking for the interview."

He smiles, and I realize for the first time how big his teeth are, "don't worry about that, you'll be great. I'm going to ask about Ally and Jonah towards the middle of the interview, and then I'll talk about the rest of the games. Just be yourself, and I don't want to make you cry or anything, but be prepared," he pats my knee, and the cameraman is counting him in, and away we go.

The interview starts with Capital conversations like always. How I felt in the arena, and we are basically making ideal chit chat, then about 20 minutes in Caesar flips a switch, "so Kyle, I have to ask, how are you doing with everything? You and Allison were very close. Tell us about how you're feeling?"

I sigh and pause. I see Portia, and I know I need to be honest, "I lost both of my best friends in the last year, Caesar. Ally and I talked every day, I walked her to school and back, we played ....we laughed....and I'll never be able to do that again."

I am crying, and Caesar hands me a tissue. "do you think she would be proud of you for winning?" He asks gently.

Oh, thank you, Caesar, for the Easy question, "yes, she made me promise I would try and win. I kept my promise to her." I sound stronger, "I also promised Jonah that I would live my life to the fullest when he left, and I failed him until Ally was reaped. I won't be letting him down again either."

I hear everyone in the room sigh. I said the right thing. Caesar asks me more about Ally and Jonah, and I talk about them both. Her laugh. His eyes. Moments with them both.

"Now Kyle, what do you think you'll do when you go back home," Caesar asks.

I pause and think, "I'm going to hug my Dad and brothers.....and I think I'll help Jackson with his stables. Ally always liked seeing the horses; it will be nice to give the kids of district 10 other happy memories. I also want to learn to be a doctor. I want to help people."

I look at Jackson, who smiles and nods, and with that, Caesar is wrapping up, and I'm done. Gloriana has us up and out within 10 minutes. Portia says she will call me in a few days. We step up onto the train, and we wave goodbye to the crowd as we pull out. I start to leave for my room to change, and Michele stops me and pulls me into a hug.

"You will be ok, I promise you, we all will be there for you," I see Alejandro and Jackson nod, and I thank them.

"I'm going to take a nap. I'll be ok," I say.

I lay my head down and think about my life when I get home; I have to try and make up with my father even if it will probably be a nightmare. I close my eyes and think of Jonah.

I walked into the Justice Building room to say goodbye to Jonah; I still can't believe he was picked. His parents left just before I was let in, and they were in tears. The door closed behind me; he looked up with those green eyes, and I pulled him into a hug. I was taller than him, so he rested his head on my chest.

"I'm sorry, I should have volunteered," I whispered.

He shook his head, " no, we made a deal; you have to live your life now. If I ....come back.... then we will have all the time in the world."

I kissed him on the top of the head, " I have something for you. I made it. I was going to give it to you tonight." I pulled out the bracelet I'd been working on for him, and I see his eyes go wide.

"You made that for me?" He says with a soft whisper.

I nod, "what a small world," he said with a laugh through the tears. "

"What does that mean?" I asked.

He smiled and leaned in and kissed me, "I'll tell you when I get back," he whispered.

We stood there holding each other until someone knocked on the door to take him to the Capital. "I love you," he whispered with a kiss. I pulled him into one last hug, and I whisper back, "I will always love you." He was gone, and I never got to see him again.

The train lurches to a stop suddenly, and I wake up. I hear Gloriana saying this will throw off her schedule, but I don't care. I get up and see that the cards from the night before had fallen off the side table, and I look at them for the first time. Gloriana must have brought them in when I was sleeping. The first one is from a sponsor saying how thrilled they were to support Ally and me, throw it on the bed. One is from the mentors of District 9 saying thank you for helping Jillian; I'll keep that one. I look through the rest of them until I stop at one whose handwriting I recognize.....but I don't believe it. I tear it open and read it.

I stand up and walk outside, "Gloriana!? Some of these letters don't have names. Do you know who gave them to you?" I ask, trying to sound calm, but I know Jackson is looking at me, he can sense I'm nervous.

"Oh no, honey, we got so many of them last night, and they all fell out of order when you dropped them, but we can figure it out, don't worry." She says to me and then turns to Michele, "some of the Gamemakers stopped to help us gather them all up again, which is nice of them."

Michele agrees, but I doubt she is paying attention, "ok, I'm going to read them, and I'll be back out," I say.

"Take your time. They say we are only going to be 30 minutes behind schedule once the train is fixed up, so we won't be too far behind schedule tomorrow," Michele says as I walk away. I reread the note, and I can't believe it.

Kyle,
I am so proud of you. You did everything you could to protect Ally. More than I ever did. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, baby, but I'll find a way to be with you again. I promise. I love you, and I will see you again.
Love, Mom

My mom is alive, somewhere. Somewhere she can see the games, she can send me this note. My mom is alive, and I am Victor of the Hunger Games, and I am going home.

I walk back smiling and sit down. Jackson is the first one to say something, " you look happy." I just shrug, "a week ago, I thought I was going to die, now I'm heading home. I need to make the most of life, right?"

The train starts moving again, and it's perfect timing. My mentors look at me, and they seem happy, like I might be ok.