Maya

I wake up and immediately feel grateful that both Marcus and I showed as much restraint as we did the previous night. I had a good night's sleep. I'd slept fine in the hotel room, but being alone in that quiet room felt strange. In Marcus' house, I feel so much better. More relaxed. It is only 8A.M. and I am ready to take on a new day.

   He is already in the kitchen when I make my way downstairs, wearing an oversized t-shirt and shorts. My hair is a mess but I'd ran my fingers through it, at least. My stomach is growling and the coffee smells amazing.

   "Morning," he says, then gives me a big smile. "Man, it's weird having someone else here."

   "Sorry," I say, walking into the room.

   "No, that's not what I meant. It's nice," he says. "Coffee?"

   "Yes, please," I answer, leaning against the counter as he takes another cup out of the cupboard and pours me a cup.

   I drink my coffee while admiring him. He's busy with something on his open laptop and not paying much attention to me. I stand, leaning against the counter, sipping the black, hot coffee, and sigh. 

   I barely know this person - this guy who let me stay at his house - but I feel like I do. It feels like we are friends, or something else. I already know I'm too comfortable there, in his house. In his kitchen.

   "Thanks for the coffee," I say, making him look over at me.

   The look on his face is sort of a mix of confusion and annoyance. "Of course, have as much as you want."

   "Oh, more than one cup in the morning makes me a bit shaky," I tell him, looking at the plain, white mug in my hand.

   He nods and goes back to his work.

   Is he even still feeling anything towards me? Or was it just because we were both drinking wine and we were alone? Do I want him to feel something? The vibe I'm getting from him now is very different than last night and I'm confused.

   "I'm going to go get dressed and... call Nella," I say.

   "Alright."

   Why I'm feeling let down is beyond me. Do I actually expect this guy to be interested in me? I don't want that. I know better than to throw myself into something so soon. My heart is still a gaping hole, jagged at the edges. I can't want something with Marcus. I just can't.

   I dig out a clean t-shirt and leggings and then shove everything else back into my bag. I'll bring it all to Nella's and do some laundry while I'm there today. Looking in the mirror, I quickly brush my hair and then jet into the attached bathroom to brush my teeth. I'm back in the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, when I pull out my phone to call Nella.

   "Hey," she answers after one ring. "It's early. Everything okay?"

   "Yeah. I just had a coffee and got dressed," I answer easily.

   "I guess I figure you'd sleep in."

   "Oh. No, sorry."

   "I'm up at 6A.M. every day, Maya. You don't have to say sorry. Actually, if I can get to the grocery store by ten, that would be great."

   It was only a bit after 9am. "I'm ready whenever."

   "Okay I'll leave here soon and come grab you."

   When I end the call, I realize I should check my email, because Kayleigh said she'd be emailing me the work schedule. I want to make sure I am ready, so I make a mental note to study those cheat sheets that evening, too. It was mostly product numbers and costs, the difference between some items and then where things are located in the store.

   I click open my email on my phone and see the most recent email is, in fact, from her. I open it and see the spread sheet, which includes my name for Tuesday at 5P.M. and Wednesday at 4P.M. It also says I should be there Saturday at 4P.M. I'm amazed and excited that it's there and it's real, but then I see another new email. It came in the previous day. The subject says WTF

   Maya, honestly it's been almost a week since anyone has seen you. Don't you think you should have told us if you were disappearing? How do we even know you're okay? Ryland is freaking out. He keeps coming over and threatening me, asking me if I've heard from you. He's actually scaring us a bit. If something happened and you left, just tell me. I'm worried.

-Tamara

   I read it again and then a third time before closing the email app. Of course, since my old phone was off, she would email me. Tamara was a good friend, but we weren't even close enough for me to tell her my secrets about Ryland. I knew she wouldn't believe me, because her boyfriend knew him, and everyone sort of worshiped him, for whatever reason. I wasn't about to be the girl who everyone thinks lied about being abused. Keeping it to myself was necessary, even though it was hard.

   Back downstairs, Marcus is still on his laptop. I peek my head in and he looks up and grins at me. I really like that grin, but damn this guy is confusing my mind and my body.

   "Nella's coming soon, to get me. I'm going to do my laundry and babysit Willow for a bit," I tell him, as if I have to tell him what I'm doing.

   He looks... disappointed? "Okay. I was hoping we could hang out today, but... I'll see you tonight. Dinner, my turn to host."

   I swallow hard. He was hoping to hang out with me? Does he know how confusing he's being?

   "Host?" I ask, confused.

   "Oh. Sunday dinner with George and Nella and sometimes our friends, Kayleigh and Phillip. We alternate who hosts."

   Why didn't my sister tell me about this?

   "Oh, that's cool."

   "Yeah, well, you're automatically in now, so... you'll have to host too, once you're settled in your new place." He grins again and I feel my lower body getting warm.

   "Okay." I nod, squeezing my legs together.

   "Hey, how'd you sleep? That mattress is pretty new, no one's really used it," Marcus goes on, as if we are right back to normal conversation.

   "Um, good."

   He doesn't look convinced. Honestly, I laid awake for at least an hour thinking about what he was doing. I wondered if he was thinking about me. I wanted to know if he wanted to touch me as much as I wanted to touch him.

   "Are the pillows okay?" he asks next.

   "Yeah, fine. Great." He gives me one last look before turning away, to look at his screen. "I'm going to... wait outside."

   He doesn't even answer and I'm already gone.

"He really didn't try to make a move on you?" Nella asks, an hour later.

   George is gone; he had some work to do on a big project. Nella says he doesn't work weekends often but this was necessary. I don't mind watching Willow. Actually, I'm ecstatic that she trusts me enough to do so.

   "He did not. We had a glass of wine each and then we went to bed. Separately."

   She snorts and then turns back to finish making the sandwiches she's getting ready for Willow and I, for lunch. One is peanut butter and one is some meat and lettuce and cheese. I'm in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, watching Willow line up a bunch of stuffed animals on the floor.

   "I'm surprised. You're hot. And he's been lonely," Nella goes on, not looking at me.

   "Nella, he's just letting me stay at his house for a few days. He's being nice, because he's George's best friend," I say, hoping she believes me. I don't think I'll tell her that we sort of talked about 'doing something we might regret'.

   "He's letting you stay because he's a good guy. That doesn't mean that he doesn't want in your pants," Nella says, then laughs.

   This side of Nella is surprising since she was a lot more uptight and serious before I left. I guess everyone changes a lot in four years. Then she was twenty, and trying to hold it together after our mom died. She was just one month away from starting college, her journalism degree. Now she's twenty-four and a mom and apparently much more open to talking about sex with me.

   "I just know it's not a good idea," I tell her, but I regret it right away.

   She squeezing the two pieces of peanut butter covered bread together. "So, you thought about it?"

   "He's attractive. He's sweet. And we sort of had a moment-"

   "Ah, I knew it. You weren't going to tell me," she accuses me.

   "Nothing happened. I swear," I answer, but can't help but smile.

   "Not yet," she laughs.

   "Wouldn't it be weird?" I ask, because I want to know what she actually thinks about me potentially sleeping with Marcus.

   "I'm not saying you two should get married and have babies. But hooking up? You both need it and I'm sure it would he-"

   "Okay, stop." I'm laughing, but now I'm thinking about Marcus naked, too.

   "It would he awkward," I say. "Like, afterwards."

   "Maybe. Maybe not." She shrugs, then adds, "Okay, I'm getting out of here. These are for lunch, in an hour? Then she can go for her nap. She needs pink bunny and her soother... I know, I'm working on that. Uh.. otherwise, you'll be fine."

   I nod and walk the rest of the way into the living room, as Willow runs toward me. She hugs my legs, with  her long, curly, dark hair flowing around her shoulders, and hands me a stuffed cat.

   "Thanks," I say to her.

   "That's Kitty."

   "Hi Kitty," I say to the stuffed cat.

   "Will, Aunt Maya is staying with you while I get groceries, okay? Be good," Nella says to the little girl.

   She grins and goes to hug her mom. "Choccy milk?"

   "Yes, I'll get chocolate milk," Nella said and then pats her head.

   And then I'm alone with my two year old niece, who I just met one week ago.