Maya

I'm in the back seat of Nella's car, sitting next to Willow's car seat. George is driving and Nella is next to him, in the passenger seat. The stereo is playing some cutesy version of Itsy Bitsy Spider and George is telling Nella about the project he's working on, and how it's a bigger job than he originally thought. Willow reaches out to me and wants to hold my hand, so I do that without thinking.

   And then we are pulling into Marcus' driveway. We are here for Sunday dinner, which Nella ended up explaining to me, finally, as she put away the groceries earlier. She said they started it when Willow was a baby, Marcus or Kayleigh would invite Nella and George over for dinner once a week, so they didn't have to cook. They'd kept up with it almost weekly since then, though Kayleigh's husband Philip worked out of town a lot these days.

   "Phil's in town?" George asks Nella as he parks behind a blue truck.

   "Yeah, he was gone last weekend but he's home for a couple weeks now, I think," she answers.

   As we get out of the car, Nella tells me, "Kay's husband is a pilot. But he flies private planes, so he sort of works on call."

   I nod and reach in for Willow, who happily lets me get her out of her seat.

   George walks right into the house without knocking, and Nella and I follow, Willow on my hip. We remove our shoes and I can smell something amazing cooking already. George disappears to the kitchen, where I assume Marcus is, and I follow Nella to the living room near the back of the house. There, my boss, Kayleigh, is sitting, a glass of wine in her hand.

   "Hey!" she shouts, standing up. Her hair is up and she's wearing a cardigan and jeans.

   Willow squirms to get down, so I lower her to the ground and watch as she runs over to hug Kayleigh. I feel so attached to this little girl that I forget she is already attached to other people. People who have known her her entire life. I might be her aunt, but I'm still new in her life.

   Nella drops her diaper bag to the ground and leans down to unzip it. A minute later, there's an array of small toys on the hardwood floor. She obviously packed them to keep Willow busy while they are at Marcus' house. He clearly doesn't have any toys or kid-friendly things in this beautiful house.

   I feel weird because this is the first time I'm in a situation with my sister and her friends, since I've been back. I stand there as Nella crosses the room and gives Kayleigh a hug.

   "How's it s going?" she asks, as she pulls away.

   "Oh, you know. Same old. I miss Hawaii," Kayleigh laughs, then sits back down.

   Nella sits beside her, laughing. "You spent ten days in Hawaii for your honeymoon. Be grateful, bitch."

   "I am. It was just... amazing, and hot and I got the best tan. And now Maine seems pretty depressing," she says, then laughs too.

   "God, I want to go to Hawaii. I think maybe when this baby is a year old or so... we'll go," Nella goes on, rubbing her belly. "Speaking of babies... are you and Philip trying now?"

   I'm still just standing across the room from them, listening to their conversation. Willow is pulling out more stuff from the diaper bag, then she pulls at my jeans to get my attention. I look down at her and then crouch, to see what she's doing.

   "We are. We started trying on the honeymoon. God, I hope it happens fast," Kayleigh answers. "We will hopefully have babies close in age."

   "I'm so looking forward to raising babies with you," Nella laughs, then glances over at me.

   "Did you get the schedule, Maya?" Kayleigh asks me, so I look over at her.

   "Yes. Thank you. I'm looking forward to Tuesday," I answer, tucking some hair behind my ear. I left it down, which I don't generally do.

   "Hey!" a guy I don't recognize but assume is Kayleigh's husband shouts, entering the room. "So many pretty ladies in here!"

   "Hi Uncle Phil," Willow waves at him, grinning her little toothy smile.

   "Willow! My favourite pretty lady!" he says, walking towards us.

   I watch as he scoops her up and hugs her, then places her back on the ground. I feel jealous, again, that these people are so close with my sister and my niece.

   "Excuse me?" Kayleigh says, then bursts out laughing. "I thought I was your favourite?"

   "Look at her!" Phil says, pointing at Willow. "She's so cute."

   "That's true," Kayleigh says, then goes on, "Philip, this is Nella's sister, Maya."

   Philip looks over at me for the first time. I've been standing there for three minutes and he didn't even notice me there. He looks surprised, but then smiles big. "Oh, it's nice to meet you Maya."

   "You too," I say instinctively.

   "Maya's going to be working at the store. You know, cause Danny quit," Kayleigh tells her husband.

   He nods, then says, "I was supposed to ask if you want a drink? You need a refill, babe?"

   "Yes, and yes, get Maya a drink, too," Kayleigh answers, without giving me a chance to say anything.

   We are all sitting around the table in the dining room, half an hour later. I didn't even know there was a dining room off of the kitchen. Clearly, Marcus hadn't bothered to show me around the whole house. The lasagna is delicious and he even cooked brussell sprouts and cabbage. It's an amazing meal and I am full and happy when we are done eating. Willow is a mess - she ate a big piece of lasagna and a good portion of it is on her face. Everyone is just talking and it's comfortable and it feels so good, it almost feels like a dream. Until the interrogation begins.

   "So, Maya, we heard you're staying here this week?" Kayleigh asks, calmly. "It's so good that Marcus has the room."

   "Yes, I really appreciate it," I say, glancing at Nella and then to Marcus.

   He's giving me a look I can't read, his dark eyes wondering.

   "How was living in New York? I'm there pretty often for work and everything, but I can't imagine living there," Philip asks, and I don't like how suddenly all the questions are for me.

   "I lived in Albany, so I wasn't really in the big city, but... it was okay. Different than here, that's for sure," I answer cautiously.

   "Oh, definitely. I can't wait to bring Kayleigh to more places. She's been pretty sheltered in Maine her whole life," Philip laughs, and Kayleigh swats at him.

   "There's nothing wrong with Maine," she says, then smiles at me.

   "I lived in Ohio until I was a teenager, and I can say that Maine is a good place. It's a good life, here," Marcus pipes up.

   "I'd like to travel. See some more of the world," Nella speaks up, looking at George.

   "We will, my love. Just not when we have a toddler and a newborn," he says, then laughs.

   When everyone gets up from the table and start to relocate to the living room, I stay back and ask Marcus if he'd like help cleaning up from dinner. He stares at me blankly for a second before agreeing. We haven't talked much all day, even though I was there that morning and I've been there for two hours now.

   "I can load the dishwasher," I tell him, carrying a few plates to the kitchen.

   "Thank you," he smiles, and I see him look me up and down. "I usually just bring everything in the kitchen and deal with it later."

   "Oh, okay. Well, even if we do a bit now, it will be easier to do later," I say without thinking.

   We are quiet for a few minutes while we rinse the dishes and load the dishwasher. A few times, his hand grazes mine or his body brushes up against me, just for a second. My body is hot all over, just being in the same room as him. Maybe it's because I talked to Nella and she seemed fine with it, or maybe I'm just horny and want a release, but things seem tense between Marcus and I now.

   When we enter the living room where everyone else is hanging out, laughing, the rooms fall silent. Marcus and I are standing close but not that close. Can everyone feel the sexual tension between us? I am still working on my glass of wine from before dinner, and I notice that Marcus is drinking a soda. The quiet dissipates and the room is loud again, with Willow singing a song and George and Philip laughing about something. But Marcus and I are still quiet, as we join back into the chaos.

   The rest of the evening flies by while we hang out like old friends. Philip tells stories about his most recently flights with famous people, and they talk about Hawaii and their honeymoon. Nella talks about a story she's been working on. Marcus says he has a photoshoot coming up, to get new headshots for his realtor website. Philip and George make fun of him for that. I feel like I'm a bit of an outsider looking in, but somehow I also feel okay. I was welcomed into this family, this group of friends who have been together and close for years. They include me and they accept me and I appreciate it all.

   Nella and George pack up their stuff and leave with a very sleepy Willow, at 9P.M. It's way past her bed time and they have to leave, to get her into bed. I hug Nella at the door and tell her I'll call her the next day. She leaves a lot easier than she left the night before. Philip isn't drinking and I notice that Kayleigh has had a few glasses of wine, and they stay until a bit after 10P.M.         

   After we've said goodbye to them and they go out the front door and down to their truck, the house feels so quiet. It also feels like there's electricity shooting through the thick air, and we are about to be zapped if we don't make the right moves.

   "So, I'll be working tomorrow. Probably leave by 7A.M. and I'm often not home until the evening," Marcus tells me, trying to sound casual.

   We walk back towards the kitchen together, and I nod. I lean against the door frame and let out a deep breath.

   "I can clean up the kitchen, if you want. I owe you, for letting me stay-"

   "You don't owe me anything," he interrupts. "I want you to be here."

   I swallow hard because this isn't really what I was expecting him to say. "Still, I don't mind cleaning up from dinner."

   "I'd rather you relax, come sit down with me in the living room," he says, motioning in that direction.

   And that is when I realize the mood is not awkward or unsure now. It's so obvious what he's thinking, what he wants. I wonder if he knows I'm thinking the same thing. I wonder if we should actually allow it to happen. But I know that if he makes a move now, I'll be more than willing to oblige.