Hongjoong's point of view

When did I start to hate writing?

Why is everything I type annoying to me now? I can't stick with the plot more than a week, the next thing I know I'm deleting stories and apologizing to my audience for being such a fuck-up.

It's been a while since anything I've wrote resonated with me. What was my muse? What kept me going?

You see us writers look for inspiration, pain, experiences. That's where the best material comes from. The house is quiet, kids on campus, wife at work.

Not much going on here.

I go outside to take in our neighborhood.

Mellow and peaceful. The sound of lawnmowers and sprinklers going. The sun isn't too bright today but just enough to take in the day.

Usually i don't go for strolls but I'm desperately looking for that thing. Maybe a girl crying on the sidewalk because of a breakup? Shit I don't know.

Unintentionally I find myself in my wife's cafe. She smiles from ear to ear as she sees me. Her curls bounce up and down as she jogs over to me. Her 5'3 frame is wrapped up in a flour covered apron.

Me: Working hard?
Char: Trying new recipes. What brings you here?
Me: You could say I'm trying new recipes as well.

She grins.

Char: Writing material huh?
Me: I love how you understand my author talk.
Char: I've been listening to it for more than ten years now.

I internally scream at how old we're getting. Thank God in Rocky's story, age is nothing but a social construct. We don't age.

Char: If you're looking for more inspiration you should take a trip to Yeosang's art factory. I hear it's full of all interesting things you starving artist like.

I chuckle.

Me: I'm not an artist.
Char: Writers are artists. The way you make people feel things, see things from another point of view and become a safe space. You're an artist, a creative.

My heart flutters. I kiss her forehead before giving her a big squeeze.

__

She was right, there were plenty of things going on here today. Tours, exhibits, pottery classes, etcetera.

"Joong?"

I smile politely.

Me: Jewel how are you?
Saelee: Good, I just came down here to do some quick prints for the festival next week. You?
Me: Good, Im just looking for inspiration.
Saelee: Writers block?
Me: A little.
Saelee: Don't push yourself too hard. When the time comes you'll know. See ya!

The rest of my visit consisted of me checking out each exhibit carefully hoping a piece of art would scream out to me. They were nice, beautiful. None of them called to me.

Yeosang: What's up?
Me: Trying to get my mojo back.
Yeosang: Writers block must suck.
Me: It does, especially when you really really want to write.
Yeosang: Then write.

I blink.

Yeosang: You don't have to write a Stephen King novel or anything. You can write a five sentence story, it doesn't have to make sense either. You started writing because you enjoyed it right?
Me: Right.

He smiles.

Yeosang: Then go ahead and write. When I lose my way with art I sit here and sculpt all-day. All crappy, no meaning but I was happy. You ever heard the saying you don't have to be good at your hobbies.

I nod.

Yeosang: Fortunately, or unfortunately we were blessed to be good at our hobbies. Blessed to make a living off of it, maybe that's when it lost it's spark. Either way it's our responsibility to fall back in love with it.

Sometimes my friends really are the best. I took Sang's advice and went home and wrote. It made zero sense and was short but I had fun.

I felt my blood flowing through my body again.

___

this was more about me than Hongjoong SHSJSJ, i just needed to get it out