I actually have
considered to start
talking with Satan
himself. What the
actual hell is wrong
with me?

Satan
I mean, I do
have that effect
on some people.
But you aren't a
human or a
demon so I too
am wondering why.

Well, boo hoo. I'm
sorry that I'm not
one of your toys.

Satan
No, no, no. I
didn't mean it
like that. What I
meant was, you
seem like you need
a fatherly figure
in life. I'm all for
the job if you want.

I mean...it depends.
Will I be forced to
kill people?

Satan
No.

Will I be forced
to injure innocents?

Satan
...
No.

Will I be possessed
by one of your
henchman?

Satan
FOR DAD's SAKE,
NO.

...

Satan
Sorry, I have an
anger issue.

No shit, Sherlock :)
read at 12:09 a.m.