Chapter 8

I almost cry from relief when we get at the fast food restaurant. Jake sang to ever song on the radio and Zack tried not to squich me against Cameron who was driving.

When we get out of the car and into the restaurant Cameron turns towards me. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you get," I shrug and he nods his head.

"Well can you go find us all a table then please?" He suggests.

"Sure," I smile and get us a table. I gather ketchup and napkins, bringing them to the table. 

They all come and sit down. "Here's your food." Cameron hands it to me.

"Thanks," I reply before eating my burger and fries like the rest of them.

In moments like this, just sitting here with Cameron is perfectly fine with me.

And of course Jake and Zack.

"So I heard there is a Homecoming dance at your school." Zack says, talking to Cameron.

He looks up and nods. "Yeah why?"

Zack takes a sip of his soda before continuing. "I was wondering if you were going. So is she, wondering I mean."

Cameron looks at him then me. "Yeah know there is one. And why are you wondering if I'm going?" He turns to me.

I was trying to avoid this conversation so I was stuffing my face in my mouth. Full of french fries and burger. "Mhmm?"

Oh..

I swallow loudly and take gulps of my drink. Jake laughs a little at me.

"I was just wondering if your were going and told Zack about it. I will probably be going. I bought a dress today." I explain. "And I was wondering if you were going then you could come with me." His eyes widen.

I realize that didn't sound right. My face gets red. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean as friends even though it just sounded like I asked you out. I mean you can go with me. Friend or not as friends-oh my I'm going to stop now."

My face is red, completely red. And Cameron's eyes are wide and his cheeks have a hint of pink. Zack is staring at my red face, Jake mirroring Zack.

"Oh my..." I mutter. I stand up quickly from my chair, and mutter the word 'bathroom' before scurrying off.

I throw myself in a bathroom stall.

Oh God.

I just completely embarrassed myself. Oh God, I'm positive Zack and Jake think that I'm in love with Cameron.

Which is true.

But they will probably tell Cameron. Oh gosh. My breathing has gone rigid.

Wait.

It could be a wake up call. Oh who am I kidding? He doesn't feel the same way. He is was heartbroken over Allie.

Lord of mercy.

I made a fool of myself. I've completely lost my appetite and I feel like I'm about to throw up. Okay no I am going to throw up.

I throw up the food I had just eaten, my eyes filling with tears.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, standing up.

I go to the sink and wash my hands, then cup the water and gulp some of the sink water. I hate tap water, but I'll be okay I need some water to moisten my throat. I run my fingers through my hair.

With one last look at my pale face, I walk away and back to the table to see Cameron, Jake, and Zack sitting there awkwardly.

When I come into their view, they all stand up.

"Are you going to finish your food?" Jake asks.

"No I'm not hungry." I say then add. "Not anymore."

All of us climb into his dad's truck and I bite my lip and look at my feet as our arms brush against each other.

"Are you okay?" Zack whispers over a song on the radio. I nod my head and he forces a fake smile to his full lips, not believing me.

I look away, not wanting to be a burden on him so I hum to the music to distract myself. Zack keeps looking at me and I choose to ignore it.

I am probably just overreacting.

I mean I may have embarrassed myself and Cameron seems to have been uncomfortable.

I should've just never called him. I mean I love talking to him and being around him, it's just ovr made today a complete embarrassment.

"Are you going home now or later?" Jake asks me over the music.

Cameron turns down the radio. "Yeah. I am now. If that's okay for you to drive me. If not I'll just walk." I say.

"Oh okay." Jake says.

Zack look at me and looks at Cameron.

"I guess I'll drive you home." Cameron says, his voice making my whole body tingle.

Just his voice effects me.

I am a mess.

"Okay," I say softly.

"Maybe you can come over another time and we can all play video games again." Zack says.

Cameron gets out of the truck, so I can get out. "Yeah maybe." I smile at them. "Bye guys,"

"Bye," they say at the same time. I smile and turn around.

"No bye to me then?" Cameron grabs my wrist and he burns my skin, in a good way.

We were close to my porch now. Zack and Jake were in the car with music.

I suck a breath I'm between my teeth quietly. "Um bye Cameron." I say, pulling my hand away.

"Are we okay?" He asks, his voice having an edge to it.

"Yeah," I say, our conversation is getting weird and awkward way too fast. I shouldn't have said anything to Zack about Homecoming and none of this would have happened.

"Okay. Just making sure.  I just feel like we are slipping, ya know?" He says.

"Well I wasn't the one who mad it weird between us." I say.

"What? How did I do that? And I thought we were okay," Cameron looks at me with narrowed eyes.

"You did it by telling me to 'get out' of your house before I could even explain myself." I explain. "And by not talking to me. I had to come to your house in the middle of the freaking night to talk to you about it."

"We are back to that?" He questions. "I told you I was sorry. And I know I should have let you explain yourself, but I wasn't in the mood. I just found out my girlfriend was cheating on me. With my own brother."

"I know that. But yet I would've thought you'd at least need me to help you while you were upset over your girlfriend. I mean I just thought you needed me as much as I need you in this relationship. I mean I guess I thought wrong."

Cameron runs his hands in his hair. "You make it sound like we're dating." Ouch. "And I do need you. I just needed my space and I needed time to think, alone.

Yeah I know it's not fair to you, but it seemed like it was to me."

"So you hurt me in the process in what you think is good for you? And I'm not speaking about us in a way as of relationship. The relationship I meant was as in friends."

He takes a deep breath. "You know what else isn't fair? Keeping crap about my girlfriend away from me when it involved something so important. And that proves that you were doing what was fair to you. Not me." He says, looking at me with a cold glare. "So don't you dare go and play nice and innocent, honey, cause it isn't working out so well."

I feel more anger rise. " You know how I was so upset about not telling you. And I was going to tell you the same night, but then you find out yourself. Don't you try to play that card. "

He raises his voice. "I don't have any cards to play. And I'm sick of it. You are overreacting over that stupid Homecoming and ran off to the bathroom. I don't even see what got you so upset that you ran to the bathroom with a red face. And I doubt  you were really even going to tell me. You wanted to see me that hurt and upset."

What? It literally kills me to see him that hurt. I cried for hours.

"You think I want to see you hurt from that? It kills me to see that upset, you should know that. I was a crying mess. Not only did I cry, but I was a train wreck. I am in-"

I stop myself, hand slapping my mouth.

"What?!? What were you going to say?" He asks.

My eyes water. "Nothing."

He moves closer towards me, grabbing my wrist. "No, Era, please tell me." He begs, his face full of hurt, anger, and a bunch of other emotions.

Come on, Era, just say it. He probably hates you know. Why not just add to the list?

"I...." My tears fall down.

"Era," his tone is gentle. "Please, just tell me. " The angry Cameron went away as caring Cameron took over at seeing my tears.

Can today get any worse?

"I..I don't think I should.." My voice breaks.

"No. You will tell me. Please." He pleads. His eyes unguarded so I can see this fragile teenage boy that I'm in hopeless love.

I grab my hair and tug at the roots before I wipe more tears away.

"Era, if you don't talk me right now-"

"I'm in love with you!!!!!!!!" I yell, more tears falling. His face turns to full surprise.

"W.. What?" He asks.

"Y-You heard me." I say through my tears. "I'm in love with you!"

I curse loudly and fall to the ground. He sits down and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"No." I cry harder. "Just go!"

I look up at him, tears falling more freely.

I have ruined everything.

My eyes look up at his, his face is full of shock still.

"No," he says. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Zack and Jake," I choke out.

"They can get over it." He reassures.

"No. I don't want you to be here for me. I-I'll end up saying something I don't want you to know like I just did. Just go!!" I yell, getting up.

I turn around and he grabs my wrist, even in this crazy state his touch burns my skin. He kisses my forehead and he lets go of my wrist, watching me walk up my steps and into my house.

My day has gotten  even worse.