Word Count: 1839

~Avila

The cool night air bites at my skin as Emerick and I linger in the alleyway together.

An uneasy feeling has settled over me. I can understand why things are being kept from me, but it's making me doubt how much I can trust them.

I need to get a better handle on how I feel about Emerick.

"What did Valery mean about a rebellion member being killed?" I question, leaning up against the brick wall.

Emerick sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets as he paces back and forth. I hate the pause everyone makes before answering, like saying the right thing is more important than telling the truth.

"Valery said more than she should have," he responds gruffly.

"How am I supposed to trust you if you don't tell me anything?"

Emerick tips his head back, closing his eyes. I can feel the frustration coming off him in waves. Obligations muddled with uncertainty are clearly burdening him.

"Since about two months after you died rebellion members are being murdered at a pretty consistent rate," he admits softly, finally relinquishing a touch of information.

I push off the way. "Really?"

"Oh yes. At least one or two a week." He rubs the back of his neck, anger melting together with sadness. He clearly harbours some guilt about not being able to stop this.

I had no idea something like this was going on in my own Kingdom. I don't even know what is going on in my own home.

"Who is doing this?" I ask.

"That's what we are trying to find out. How they even know who belongs in the rebellion is beyond me, but their intel is fresh," he explains.

I frown. "Someone must from your group must be sharing information."

His jaw hardens and he sweeps his gaze to me. For a moment, that look on his face is scary, but in a second it passes.

"I know," he mutters, turning away. "We are looking into it."

Shifting from foot to foot, I watch him curiously. He's taking this harder than would expected from any other rebellion member. He's carrying a heavier burden, taking on responsibility for what is going on.

"Are you their leader?" I ask softly.

He turns back to me, his expression unreadable. As soon as I ask the question aloud, I already know the answer.

"Would it change anything if I were?"

I fold my arms over my chest. "Well, are you?"

He falls silent, looking down at his feet. Immediately my mind jumps to what Roel said, about the rebellion leader being dangerous, having killed people...but what if his cause is valuable? What if it's worth it to achieve better ends?

"I am their leader," he admits cautiously.

Dread drapes over me like a heavy cloak, my suspicions officially confirmed.

"How can you be mad about your rebellion members being killed off if you're killing people too?" I hiss, my voice echoing through the narrow alleyway.

"This is a war, Avila. People die," he responds tightly.

"If it's a war, why don't I know anything about it?"

Everywhere I turn there's darkness. There are people keeping secrets from me, hiding what's truly going on. I'm supposed to rule and yet no one trusts me with the truth. It's infuriating.

"People think hiding information from you is protecting you." Emerick strides toward me, causing my back to bump against the wall. "Those people are why you came to me in the first place."

Emerick speaks with conviction, with experience. He's watching me learn all this from the start again.

"Oh..."

His eyes soften as he brushes hair from my face with gentle fingers.

"You don't need to worry, I'm not doing anything here that could harm you," he assures me, offering a smile that has no warmth behind it. "My main goal is to protect the people I care about. I don't go looking for people to harm."

I swallow, gazing up at him. He's closer now, the shadows playing along the hard lines of his face.

While I'm afraid of him, I'm attracted to him. At least, I think I should be. We were lovers, and there had to be a reason for that.

I blink and suddenly it's Vade standing in front of me with his silvery eyes and brain-melting beauty. I blink again, and he's gone.

He's haunting me.

"I...can I kiss you?" I stammer, my back aching as it presses firmly against the wall.

Emerick blinks, confused for a moment, not expecting that to come out of my mouth. Then he smiles, desire sinking into his expression.

"You want to...I mean, of course." He laughs breathily. "You don't need to ask, Avila."

I smile tentatively. I need this to get Vade out of my head, to confirm Emerick is the one I'm supposed to be with. Vade may be my future husband, but now what I'm starting to feel about him is dangerous.

I know he's capable of hurting me. Badly.

Emerick makes the first move once he senses my hesitation. He leans down, his lips gently brushing against mine.

My breath catches in my throat as his hands sweep around my back and yank me close to him. I can feel every inch of his body, every muscle flexing as his grip tightens.

He sinks his tongue into my mouth, muffling my mumble of surprise. It's immediately dominant, claiming.

I'm not sure why I expected something soft loving. I wanted to taste our past, to feel that connection that we must have had.

But there's nothing.

His hand braces next to my head, the other one gripping my waist. I can feel his passion, and I wish I could answer it with some of my own, but the kiss is strangely underwhelming.

I lean my head back, breaking the kiss, drawing in a much-needed breath.

I was hoping this would feel even better than my one with Vade. I was hoping it would be full of heat and wanting...I thought it would feel like love.

"Do you want to come home with me tonight?" he asks, his breath fanning against my face.

"Even if I wanted to, I can't. Someone will notice my absence if I'm not there in the morning," I remind him, looking behind him to make sure none of the other rebellion members have followed us out.

Emerick grins wryly. "I can get you home before dawn."

I gently pry him off me, dodging around him.

"I think, for now, a kiss is enough," I murmur, wiping my lips.

This confirmed to me something very dangerous. I'm far more attracted to Vade than I am to Emerick. There's some kind of spark missing.

"Of course." He backs off, rubbing a hand down his face. "I'm sorry. I forget that I need to be courting you like I once did."

"Things are a lot more complicated than they were," I bring up.

Emerick sighs, scuffing his feet over the cobblestones. I wonder if he thinks that kiss felt different.

"It always has been complicated," he admits. "If I got you once, I'll get you again."

"I'm marrying soon, though."

"How soon?"

"They haven't exactly told me, but I've seen them bringing what I suspect is furniture in for a wedding recently. Now that I've been introduced back to all the important people in my parent's lives, it's safe for me to marry," I tell him with a wince.

That familiar shadow settles on his face. Any time I mentioned Vade or marrying, he looks ready to murder someone.

Knowing his past, I wonder if he ever would.

"They are moving fast. They want to trap you before you can learn anything more about your family and your Prince," he snaps, digging his fingers into his midnight hair.

I tilt my head to the side. "What else is there to know?"

He shrugs. "I don't know, you didn't tell me much. I just know you struggled, and there was a reason you didn't want this marriage."

At least I know that's true. My flashbacks suggest as much.

"It's getting late. I should get back," I murmur, pointing off down the alleyway. I'm starting to become paranoid that my absence has been noted.

"Do you want me to walk you back? It's dangerous at this time of the night," Emerick notes, giving me a look that implies he's speaking about the rebellion members being murdered.

Hopefully, I won't be a target now that I've attended one of these meetings.

"I'm sure I'll be alright." I would rather be murdered than caught walking back with Emerick.

"I'll be in touch." He heads toward the door. "I want you at more meetings, okay?"

There's a lot to think about. Attending more meetings is dangerous, but a deep part of me wants to explore more about their purpose.

More importantly, I need to make sure my family isn't in danger.

"I'll think about it," I tell him.

I hurry back as fast as I can. Thankfully I manage to sneak into the manor through the main door with no one catching me. Considering how quiet the place is, no one noticed me leaving.

Rushing up the stairs, I nearly make it to the top before the front door creeps open behind me as he twists around.

A shadowy figure slips in, silent as they stalk across the marble foyer floor.

At first, I assume it's a guard until they come under the light, and I realise it's Vade. There's a good pulled over his head, and he's dressed in all black. I note the gloves, and the sleeves that are tugged up to his elbows. On the small space of bare skin I can see, there's blood.

I draw in a sharp breath, catching his attention.

I shudder at the black mask covering half his face. He slowly lowers it, looking over me.

This is a terrible situation. Considering how I'm dressed, it's obvious I've been out. And he...he looks like he's made of the shadows themselves.

"Vade." I gesture to the blood. "Are you okay?"

He turns slightly and I can see there's blood elsewhere on his clothing. It doesn't look like it belongs to him, but I can't be sure.

He starts up the stairs toward me, causing my stomach to twist into an uncomfortable knot. For the briefest of moments, I think he's going to kill me, but he only brushes past me.

"I won't talk about why you're sneaking in tonight, and you won't speak about this, alright?" He says coldly, pausing as he awaits my answer.

"I...okay," I force out.

He gives me one last look before he continues up the stairs, leaving me to wonder what just happened...

💛••💛

Want more? You can read the COMPLETED version on Radish! (:

Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed (:

Out now on Wattpad, The Alpha's Mistress!

I hope you check it out (:

~Midika 💜🐼