"Sosa, what is all this?" I ask as she walks into the store with three large suitcases and a duffel bag.

It's ten to nine in the morning and I'm already tired. I only had three hours of sleep after yesterday's shift behind the bar. There was a group of particularly heavy drinkers who really did not want to go back home to their wives. Keith was sound asleep when I got home, probably passed out from his own drinking session with his mates. He didn't even hear me get up this morning.

"My stuff. I'm moving out."

She looks at me with a fearful, almost manic expression in her dark brown eyes. Her face is glistening with sweat and panic.

"What do you mean you're moving out?" I ask bewildered.

"He found out!" she says, her lips quivering. "Derek found out about me and Shaun! Shaun just called. He and Derek had a fight and he beat him up really badly. They're taking him to the hospital."

"He what? How did he find out?"

"I don't know!"

I reach for her fidgeting hands and sit her down on the stool. "Is he okay? Shaun? Go to him, I'll cover for you."

"What? No way! Derek will come to find me for sure! He won't come here because he knows you'll be here and there's cameras and everything, but I can't go to the hospital or home, Ally! He'll kill me!"

"No, he won't," I say trying to calm her down. "He won't risk coming over with your dad around."

"My dad hasn't been home for days! He's been sleeping over at that woman's house... Eileen something. He only comes home to dump his dirty clothes in the laundry and then disappears. I'm on my own, Ally!"

"So, what are you going to do? You can't live here!"

She covers her face with her hands and shakes her head desperately. Clearly, she didn't think this through. She looks lost and scared but even in my state of constant paralysis I realise she's right. She's on her own and she's in danger. If Derek really beat up Shaun, then for sure he'll be looking for her too.

"Come stay with us," I blurt out, knowing, as soon as the words are out of my mouth that this is a mistake. But it doesn't matter. We don't have a choice. "At least until things calm down with Derek. We'll figure out the rest as we go along."

Sosa looks up at me, teary-eyed. Her whole body is shaking. "Really?" she says with a trembling voice.

I look into her face. My one friend in the whole world, the fearless girl who won't stop at anything to get what she wants, is terrified.

"Yes," I say determined. "Sosa, I need this just as much as you do. You're right, we're on our own. We need to get a good hold of our lives once and for all."

#

I stand my ground in front of Keith's furious face, secretly thanking God that I had enough sense to ask Sosa to wait in the car while I broke the news to him. But I'm not backing down. She's my friend. She's staying.

"You should have asked me first. It's my freaking house, Ally!" he spits.

"What do you want me to do? Leave her out in the streets?" I implore.

"I don't know! Have you ever heard of hotels?"

"I am not sending her to a hotel by herself! Derek is out looking for her!"

"No shit, he's looking for her," he shouts, pushing his scrunched-up locks out of his face. "She's been fucking his mate behind his back! What did she expect? Or do you think that's okay? Huh? Do you think it's okay to cheat, Ally?"

"No, Keith! Don't... don't twist my words!" I cry stubbornly, angry tears streaming down my face. How dare he use this to fight his own insecurities? "All we need is another couch or something. It's just for a few weeks!"

He looks at me, eyes bulging like he's about to yell again but he just scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"Please," I beg, taking his silence as an opportunity to push my case further. "She doesn't have anyone but us!"

He turns on me. His once warm, amber eyes are hot and red and blazing. "Why doesn't that arrogant son of a bitch take her in? Or are you the only employee he'll turn the world upside down for?"

My determination turns to resentment and before I know it, I'm the one screaming in his face. "Stop dragging Jeremy into every single argument! This has nothing to do with him. You already made me choose between him and you. I chose you! Without giving it a second thought, I chose you! But I am not losing Sosa!"

He takes a deep breath and when he speaks, his voice is considerably lower. It sends a chill down my spine.

"And what will we do if Derek finds her here, huh? Are you going to defend her?"

"I don't know," I start, but Keith won't listen.

"That's not good enough. What will you do if he comes here and you're all alone?"

"I don't know, but I'm not leaving her on her own!" I yell back.

"You don't know? Are you going to stop him if he barges in? Are you going to push him back out the door?"

Keith's face is a furious shade of scarlet and he has a thick vein throbbing across his forehead. He steps towards me and I back up, trying to keep a safe distance from him. I've never seen him this angry. Not even when I asked him for money to buy revision papers hoping I might take a stab at the A-levels anyway despite never calling Marisa back to resume my lessons.

"What if he barges in here and finds you and tries to hurt you?" he goes on, his nose inches away from my face.

I keep walking backwards until my back hits the wall. Keith grabs my wrists and pins them on either side of my head. I feel his hot breath on my face and realise it reeks of beer. He must have gone out with the band for drinks again.

"What if he holds you up against the wall like this? How will you get away?" He presses my wrists harder into the cold stone, teeth bared, eyes furious. My fingers start to feel numb.

"Keith, stop, you're hurting me!" I cry.

"I'm hurting you? What if Derek is the one pressing against you instead of me? There's no telling what he might do to you!"

My heart starts to beat really fast and I can't breathe properly with the pressure of his body over mine. I purse my lips to stop myself from crying out but I'm scared. In this moment, Keith is a complete stranger to me.

"Come on! Push me off!" he spits in my face.

I turn away from him and try to push him off, but I can't. He's too strong and my fear is crippling me. I see my hands turning purple beneath his tight grip.

"Keith, please!" I plead.

"Push me off!"

I push with all my might but his hands won't budge from around my wrists. I twist and turn and try to wriggle free from his grasp.

"I can't even feel you!"

I try to kick him in the shin but I miss. His face contorts into an ugly mask as he laughs at me and it makes my blood boil. I push again as hard as I can at the same time that he decides to let go of me and I lose my balance.

I fall over and hit my lip hard against the edge of the table before toppling onto the floor. A gush of warm blood dribbles over my chin and onto my hands staining my shirt and the carpet underneath me.

Keith is down by my side before I can process what happened. He puts one arm around me and lifts my chin with the other to inspect my face.

"Oh my God! Ally, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I was just messing around. I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

I look into his face. The madness in his eyes is replaced by fear and concern. His brows are furrowed as his eyes check me over to see if I'm hurt anywhere else. I let him inspect me for bruises and cuts. I'm stunned and in complete shock. The cut on my lip feels deep as I put my fingers to it, but it doesn't hurt.

"I'm sorry, Ally! Oh, Jesus, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you. You fell over. You're okay. You're alright, Ally, it's just a cut. It's only a small cut."

I stare at the thick, red liquid flowing between my fingers. He hurriedly fetches a dishcloth and puts it to my mouth. "Here, Baby. Press this until I get some ice," he says in a warm, gentle tone I haven't heard in a long while.

I do as he says. I sit up and rest my back against the wall, pressing the cloth against my mouth to stop the bleeding. I check my teeth with the tip of my tongue, but everything seems to be fine. Keith comes over with another towel wrapped around a pack of frozen peas and crouches down beside me. He removes the stained cloth and presses the cold pack against my face.

Keith looks at the floor fixedly, as though he can't bear to look at me. I reach out and cup his cheek with my hand. After a while, he leans his head into my palm and it feels so good. I stroke the side of his face with my thumb. My lip begins to throb as the adrenaline wanes off.

He finally lifts his eyes up at me and I am relieved to see that it's my Keith looking through them. Not the monster who hurt me today. Not the cold, heartless man I've been living with. But Keith. My Keith. The boy who gives me butterflies and makes me forget that the world is a messy place.

"Sosa can stay," he says hoarsely. "I'll get an extra bed first thing in the morning."

#

My lip has stopped bleeding but it's still aching. The cold air feels good against the swelling as I step out into the dark night. I told Keith and Sosa that I'm going for a short walk like I do every Friday night. I walk straight towards my spot in the small garden in front of the hotel. There is a bench hidden amongst the trees and bushes that I have claimed as my own. I sit down, remove my slippers and curl my legs underneath me until they get all nice and numb. I listen to the cars drive by and imagine myself in one of them. A convertible one, with the roof down and my hands up into the air. I exhale and watch my warm breath come out in a cloud of white smoke. And then my phone rings, at eight o'clock on the dot.

"Hey." His voice is urgent yet soothing, like honey. I try to keep my emotions in check.

"Hi."

We stay quiet on the phone for several seconds. He speaks first. He always speaks first.

"I'm guessing you had an eventful day," he says knowingly. I can hear the smirk in his voice and despite my heavy heart, I smile.

"Were you watching your cameras again?" I ask unnecessarily.

"Every damn day you're there, Sparky," he answers without a moment's hesitation. "Where did she go?"

I close my eyes to shake off the image of Keith's furious face, inches from mine, the taste of his alcohol-laden breath still fresh on my tongue.

"She's staying with us for a few days."

The tense silence on the phone tells me exactly how much Jeremy hates the idea.

"I can rent her a room somewhere," he offers.

"She's staying with me."

Another long pause.

"Okay," he says.

I hear the defeat in his voice. And I'm sure he hears it in mine. It's too painful. Talking to him brings back so many memories. Memories of Millie, of home, of how good things were and we didn't even know it. I press my cool fingers against my hot lip, enjoying the sting of it.

"I miss her so much, Jeremy," I say finally, breaking down into sobs. "Nothing is the same. It will never be the same."