"Sosa, what is all this?" I asked as she walked into the store with three large suitcases and a duffel bag.

It was ten to nine in the morning and I was already tired. I had only had three hours of sleep after yesterday's shift behind the bar. There had been a group of particularly heavy drinkers who really did not want to go back home to their wives. Keith had been sound asleep when I got home, probably passed out from his own drinking session with his mates. 

"My stuff. I'm moving out."

She looked at me with a fearful, almost manic expression in her dark brown eyes. Her face was glistening with sweat and panic.

"What do you mean you're moving out?" I asked, bewildered.

"He found out!" she said, her lips quivering. "Derek found out about me and Shaun! Shaun just called. He and Derek had a fight and he beat him up really badly. They're taking him to the hospital."

"He what? How did he find out?"

"I don't know!"

I reached for her fidgeting hands and sat her down on the stool. "Is he okay? Shaun? Go to him, I'll cover for you."

"What? No way! Derek will come to find me for sure! He won't come here because he knows you'll be here and there's cameras and everything, but I can't go to the hospital or home, Ally! He'll kill me!"

"No, he won't," I said, trying to calm her down. "He won't risk coming over with your dad around."

"My dad hasn't been home for days! He's been sleeping over at that woman's house... Eileen something. He only comes home to dump his dirty clothes in the laundry and then disappears. I'm on my own, Ally!"

"So, what are you going to do? You can't live here!"

She covered her face with her hands and shook her head desperately. Clearly, she hadn't thought this through. She looked lost and scared, but even in my state of constant paralysis, I realised she was right. She was on her own and she was in danger. If Derek had really beaten up Shaun, then for sure he would be looking for her too.

"Come stay with us," I blurted out, knowing, as soon as the words were out of my mouth, that this was a mistake. But it didn't matter. We didn't have a choice. "At least until things calm down with Derek. We'll figure out the rest as we go along."

Sosa looked up at me, teary-eyed. Her whole body was shaking. "Really?" she said with a trembling voice.

I looked into her face. My one friend in the whole world, the fearless girl who wouldn't stop at anything to get what she wanted, was terrified.

"Yes," I said, determined. "Sosa, I need this just as much as you do. You're right, we're on our own. We need to get a good hold of our lives once and for all."

***

I stood my ground in front of Keith's furious face, secretly thanking God that I had had enough sense to ask Sosa to wait in the car while I broke the news to him. But I wasn't backing down. She was my friend. She was staying.

"You should have asked me first. It's my freaking house, Ally!" he spat.

"What do you want me to do? Leave her out in the streets?" I implored.

"I don't know! Have you ever heard of hotels?"

"I am not sending her to a hotel by herself! Derek is out looking for her!"

"No shit, he's looking for her," he shouted, pushing his scrunched-up locks out of his face. "She's been fucking his mate behind his back! What did she expect? Or do you think that's okay? Huh? Do you think it's okay to cheat, Ally?"

"No, Keith! Don't... don't twist my words!" I cried stubbornly, angry tears streaming down my face. How dare he use this to fight his own insecurities? "All we need is another couch or something. It's just for a few weeks!"

He looked at me, eyes bulging like he was about to yell again, but he just scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Please," I begged, taking his silence as an opportunity to push my case further. "She doesn't have anyone but us!"

He turned on me. His once warm, amber eyes were hot and red and blazing. "Why doesn't that arrogant son of a bitch take her in? Or are you the only employee he'll turn the world upside down for?"

My determination turned to resentment and, before I knew it, I was the one screaming in his face. 

"Stop dragging Jeremy into every single argument! This has nothing to do with him. You already made me choose between him and you. I chose you! Without giving it a second thought, I chose you! But I am not losing Sosa!"

He took a deep breath and when he spoke, his voice was considerably lower. It sent a chill down my spine.

"And what will we do if Derek finds her here, huh? Are you going to defend her?"

"I don't know," I started, but Keith wouldn't listen.

"That's not good enough. What will you do if he comes here and you're all alone?"

"I don't know, but I'm not leaving her on her own!" I yelled back.

"You don't know? Are you going to stop him if he barges in? Are you going to push him back out the door?"

Keith's face was a furious shade of scarlet and he had a thick vein throbbing across his forehead. He stepped towards me and I backed up, trying to keep a safe distance from him. I'd never seen him this angry. Not even when I'd asked him for money to buy revision papers, hoping I might take a stab at the A-levels anyway, despite never calling Marisa back to resume my lessons.

"What if he barges in here and finds you and tries to hurt you?" he went on, his nose inches away from my face.

I kept walking backwards until my back hit the wall. Keith grabbed my wrists and pinned them on either side of my head. I felt his hot breath on my face and realised it reeked of beer. He must have gone out with the band for drinks again.

"What if he holds you up against the wall like this? How will you get away?" He pressed my wrists harder into the cold stone, teeth bared, eyes furious. My fingers started to feel numb.

"Keith, stop, you're hurting me!" I cried.

"I'm hurting you? What if Derek is the one pressing against you instead of me? There's no telling what he might do to you!"

My heart started to beat really fast and I couldn't breathe properly with the pressure of his body over mine. I pursed my lips to stop myself from crying out, but I was scared. In that moment, Keith was a complete stranger to me.

"Come on! Push me off!" he spat in my face.

I turned away from him and tried to push him off, but I couldn't. He was too strong and my fear was crippling me. I saw my hands turning purple beneath his tight grip.

"Keith, please!" I pleaded.

"Push me off!"

I pushed with all my might, but his hands wouldn't budge from around my wrists. I twisted and turned and tried to wriggle free from his grasp.

"I can't even feel you!"

I tried to kick him in the shin, but I missed. His face contorted into an ugly mask as he laughed at me, and it made my blood boil. I pushed again as hard as I could at the same time that he decided to let go of me, and I lost my balance.

I fell over and hit my lip hard against the edge of the table before toppling onto the floor. A gush of warm blood dribbled over my chin and onto my hands, staining my shirt and the carpet underneath me.

Keith was down by my side before I could process what had happened. He put one arm around me and lifted my chin with the other to inspect my face.

"Oh my God! Ally, I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I was just messing around. I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

I looked into his face. The madness in his eyes was replaced by fear and concern. His brows were furrowed as his eyes checked me over to see if I was hurt anywhere else. I let him inspect me for bruises and cuts. I was stunned and in complete shock. The cut on my lip felt deep as I put my fingers to it, but it didn't hurt.

"I'm sorry, Ally! Oh, Jesus, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you. You fell over. You're okay. You're alright, Ally, it's just a cut. It's only a small cut."

I stared at the thick, red liquid flowing between my fingers. He hurriedly fetched a dishcloth and put it to my mouth. "Here, Baby. Press this until I get some ice," he said in a warm, gentle tone I hadn't heard in a long while.

I did as he said. I sat up and rested my back against the wall, pressing the cloth against my mouth to stop the bleeding. I checked my teeth with the tip of my tongue, but everything seemed to be fine. Keith came over with another towel wrapped around a pack of frozen peas and crouched down beside me. He removed the stained cloth and pressed the cold pack against my face.

Keith looked at the floor fixedly, as though he couldn't bear to look at me. I reached out and cupped his cheek with my hand. After a while, he leaned his head into my palm and it felt so good. I stroked the side of his face with my thumb. My lip began to throb as the adrenaline waned off.

He finally lifted his eyes up at me and I was relieved to see that it was my Keith looking through them. Not the monster who hurt me that day. Not the cold, heartless man I'd been living with. But Keith. My Keith. The boy who gave me butterflies and made me forget that the world was a messy place.

"Sosa can stay," he said hoarsely. "I'll get an extra bed first thing in the morning."

***

My lip had stopped bleeding, but it was still aching. The cold air felt good against the swelling as I stepped out into the dark night. I told Keith and Sosa that I was going for a short walk, like I did every Friday night. I walked straight towards my spot in the small garden in front of the hotel. There was a bench hidden amongst the trees and bushes that I had claimed as my own. I sat down, removed my slippers and curled my legs underneath me until they got all nice and numb. I listened to the cars drive by and imagined myself in one of them. A convertible one, with the roof down and my hands up in the air. I exhaled and watched my warm breath come out in a cloud of white smoke. And then my phone rang, at eight o'clock on the dot.

"Hey." His voice was urgent yet soothing, like honey. I tried to keep my emotions in check.

"Hi."

We stayed quiet on the phone for several seconds. He spoke first. He always spoke first.

"I'm guessing you had an eventful day," he said knowingly. I could hear the smirk in his voice and, despite my heavy heart, I smiled.

"Were you watching your cameras again?" I asked unnecessarily.

"Every damn day you're there, Sparky," he answered without a moment's hesitation. "Where did she go?"

I closed my eyes to shake off the image of Keith's furious face, inches from mine, the taste of his alcohol-laden breath still fresh on my tongue.

"She's staying with us for a few days."

The tense silence on the phone told me exactly how much Jeremy hated the idea.

"I can rent her a room somewhere," he offered.

"She's staying with me."

Another long pause.

"Okay," he said.

I heard the defeat in his voice. And I was sure he heard it in mine. It was too painful. Talking to him brought back so many memories. Memories of Millie, of home, of how good things were and we didn't even know it. I pressed my cool fingers against my hot lip, enjoying the sting of it.

"I miss her so much, Jeremy," I said finally, breaking down into sobs. "Nothing is the same. It will never be the same."