"But this bond will never be broken, Mate."

AVERY

Nakausap ko na ang lahat. Nagpasya kami na maiiwan dito sina Verone, Rigel at Zion. They still need to guard the whole place. Zion will become our messenger. Pero kapag kailangan namin ang tulong nila, agad silang sasaklolo sa 'min.

Hindi ko pa nasasabi kay Zirrius ang balak namin. Hindi ko siya isinama sa pagpupulong. He doesn't seem well this passed few days.

I know he didn't want me to come because deep inside, he wants to protect me. He wants to spare me from death that may come anytime soon. But I wonder if he knows that I'm his mate.

It was already dark. Nakatitig lang ako sa maliwanag at bilog na buwan. Puno ng maliliit at maliliwanag na bituin ang langit. The whole kingdom was eeriely quiet tonight. Everyone was still mourning for what they've lost. But soon they have no choice but to perform the rites for the offering festival of the elves. Nakatayo ako sa balkonahe at pilit na pinag-iisipan ang lahat. Hindi namin alam ang totoong anyo ni Seth. Hindi rin namin alam kung nagpapanggap ba siya na si King Aulius.

Naramdaman ko ang magagaang hakbang na papalapit sa kinaroroonan ko. Lumapit sa 'kin si Verone at may iniabot na sulat.

"Galing 'yan kay Aivee," mahinang saad niya. "Sa kasamaang palad, mukhang alam na niya ang mangyayari sa kanya sa simula pa lang. She's odd, doing things on her own. Sinabi niya na hindi ito ang panahon para sa kanya."

Bahagyang nanginig ang kamay ko nang tanggapin ko ang sulat. I still can't believe that she's already gone and will never come back.

"You don't have to feel sorry for her," mahinang saad ni Verone. "Just focus on what's left now. Hindi na natin maibabalik pa ang mga patay. Just tell Shin the truth."

Marahan akong tumango. Napansin ko na nagsisiliparan na ang mga pixies sa iba't ibang bahagi ng kaharian. Somehow, they calmed the storm inside me.

Ilang minuto rin kaming nabalot ng katahimikan. "What will you do with your mate?" diretsong tanong ni Verone. Nakagat ko ang labi dahil sa tanong niya. Zirrius and I, being mates. Did it really matter now? "You can't push the bond on him if he didn't want to accept it. Siguradong naguguluhan pa siya sa nararamdaman niya ngayon. He was human before. He didn't know anything about the mating bond, the elf's ways."

"Hindi ba talaga niya alam?" mahinang tanong ko. "O baka naman hindi lang niya matanggap?" Ramdam ko ang paninikip ng dibdib ko. Siguro hindi pa niya nakakalimutan si Liana. Maaari ring si Liana ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw niya akong isama pabalik sa Alveria.

"Well, if he knows, I admire him for resisting such a strong bond," nakangising saad ni Verone. "Gusto ko sanang makita kung hanggang kailan siya tatagal. But unfortunately, I'm stuck here. I can't see this through until the end," makahulugang saad niya.

"You're making fun of us," nakasimangot na sambit ko sa kanya.

"Well, you see, Rigel and I resisted the bond not more than an hour. While, you and zirrius are resisting the bond more than a week now. You two already hold the record. A title holder," saad niya kasabay ng mahinang pagtawa.

"Bakit kasama ako?" naiinis na tanong ko sa kanya.

"You're resisting it too. Hindi mo sinasabi sa kanya ang lahat. Tinitiis mo na hindi siya makita. Tiniis mo na hindi siya hawakan at halikan," she teased. Nag-init ang magkabilang pisngi ko. "Both of you are resisting, hesitating."

"I'm not resisting. I'm giving him time," mariing saad ko.

Mahinang tumawa si Verone. "You're both stubborn... and... afraid. How long will you both be afraid? You're not giving him time. You are just wasting time."

Masamang tingin ang ipinukol ko sa kanya. "Coming from the love expert? Ano ba ang gusto mong gawin ko?"

"Why not seduce him?" nakangising tanong ni Verone. Her amber eyes were sparkling in the dark. Isinandal niya ang likod sa barandilya. Sumimangot ako.

"And let you enjoy the show?" nagdududang tanong ko sa kanya.

Mahina siyang tumawa at tumango. "Well, I like to witness that. The Empress, doing her best to seduce her mate who refuses to bond with her. Isn't that exciting?"

"Wala ka na bang ibang suhestiyon maliban diyan?" nakasimangot na tanong ko.

Lumamlam ang mata ni Verone. Tumingin siya sa malayo. "Huwag na ninyong patagalin pa ang pag-alis ninyo. You have to sail as soon as possible. Wala tayong oras upang magpahinga. Lalo na't nakataya ang buhay ng mga nasasakupan natin."

"But I'm not telling you to not sort out your bond problems with Zirrius. You have to fight for what you love. At least give it a try or might as well, give him a punch if needed. Baka sakaling matauhan siya," she added with a coy smile.

Tumingin siya sa 'kin. "You know what? Love is for the brave not for the cowards. Love is for the risk takers. Kung hindi mo susubukang gawin ang kahit anong makakaya mo, hindi mo makukuha ang gusto mo. Walang mangyayari sa paghihintay kung wala ka ring ginagawa. Time is not something that waits and so that applies to you as well. Don't wait just because you're afraid."

"It's really weird to hear this kind of advices from you," nagdududang saad ko sa kanya. We really didn't get along well but it's nice to talk to her like this, somehow. Sapat na ito upang gumaan ang loob ko.

"There's no one here to give you advice anyway. Ako na lang ang natitira," nakasimangot na sagot niya. "And I fell in love earlier than you. I know how a heart can break when you can't even hold your mate," she added. "Babalik muna ako sa Ynaris. Ihinahanda na rin nila ang barkong sasakyan ninyo pabalik sa kaharian ng mga tao. Sa ayaw o sa gusto ni Zirrius, wala na siyang magagawa kung sasama ka man."

Marahan akong tumango. "Mag-ingat ka," pamamaalam ko sa kanya. Matipid siyang ngumiti bago siya naglaho sa hangin. Hindi na namin mapalakas ang depensa ng Elfania dahil sa kapangyarihang nawala sa buong kaharian. Madali ng nagagawa ni Verone ang mga portal. Mabuti na lang, hindi nadamay ang mga pinuno ng kaharian sa pagkawala ng ilang kapangyarihan.

Wala sa sariling naisubsob ko ang mukha sa barandilya. Sobrang daming problema ang bumabagabag sa 'kin. It was wearing me off. Hindi ko napansin na nalukot ko na pala ang sulat na nagmula kay Aivee. Mabigat akong nagpakawala ng buntong-hininga nang maalala ko.

I lit up the small torches on the balcony before I opened the letter and read it.

I'm sorry for my abrupt decisions. But it's the only way to partially save us from our doom. Severus crippled my people's wings that's why I betrayed you to save them. I know I will die soon. I can now perceive my future and some blur images from my past lives. I know you don't understand. Maybe the curse can no longer hold me or him. They can no longer stop us. I think the universe is now conspiring so we can meet again and discover the truth together. If you managed to win this war, I'll come back to claim my time.

Take care of Shin. Train him to become a great King.

Kumunot ang noo ko matapos basahin ang sulat niya. Iniisip ko kung ano ang tinutukoy niya. She could perceive the future and her past lives? I wondered what she meant by that curse. Aivee is a complicated one. She'll come back? Maybe she meant, she'll be reincarnated?

Well, I don't have time to think about this. I'm grateful for what she'd done. Ang magagawa ko na lang ay ang balikan at sanayin si Shin.

It was already late. Nagpasya na akong maglakad patungo sa silid ko. Natigilan ako nang may marinig akong malakas na sigaw mula sa isang silid. The hallway was dark and the servants were no longer awake. I deduced that the voice came from Zirrius. He would stay here until the time for departure. It's seems that he was still uncomfortable with Asteria.

Tinahak ko ang pasilyo patungo sa silid niya. Napansin ko na bahagyang nakaawang ang pinto ng silid niya. Nang dahan-dahan akong sumilip, nakita ko ang malalaking butil ng pawis na namumuo sa noo niya.

He seemed like he was in pain. He was having a nightmare. Mahina siyang umuungol na tila nahihirapan. Hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip pa. Agad akong lumapit sa higaan niya.

"Zirrius, wake up! Binabangungot ka," nag-aalalang wika ko sa kanya habang ginigising siya. Mahina kong tinatapik ang mukha niya pero unti-unting lumalakas dahil hindi niya ito nararamdaman. "Zirrius!"

I gasped when he pulled me down to bed and put his hands around my neck to choke me. "Who are you?" he asked though he seemed half-asleep.

When he opened his eyes and stared back at me, that's when he realized who I was. He was too close. Naramdaman ko ang mainit niyang hininga sa aking mukha. I sighed in relief when he slowly released his grip. He gently touch my neck to check if I was hurt.

"Ano'ng ginagawa mo rito?" mahina niyang tanong. "Bakit gising ka pa?" It seems he was still fazed and shock. My heart raced tremendously. I couldn't breathe normally. Naramdaman ko rin ang unti-unting pagbigat ng hininga niya. I didn't know if it's his heart that was hammering or if it was mine.

Mariin kong kinagat ang labi ko. His hand was gently caressing my neck as if to pay for what he'd done and it was ticklish. It was so gentle as if he was afraid to hurt me. And it seems like my skin was burning with his touch.

"I heard you scream. You're having a nightmare," mahina at kinakabahang sagot ko. Biglang namula ang mukha ko nang maalala ang mga sinabi ni Verone. I couldn't afford to seduce him. Hindi ko yata kaya.

His eyes became distant as he intently looked at me. Mukhang hindi magandang ideya na ipaalala sa kanya ang lahat pero huli na ako. Mabigat na bumuntong-hininga siya.

"Go back to your room," mabigat na wika niya.

Tiningnan ko siya nang masama. He was really good at resisting things. Nakakainis dahil hindi ko na malaman ang iniisip niya. I think it was better for my soul to be inside his body now. "What are you dreaming of?" I asked but I had my own guess. Maybe I was involved on that dream and I was the reason why he can't move on.

"You're sticking your nose on someone else's business," Zirrius said with a frown. "If you don't leave soon, you'll regret it."

"I need to know. Seriously? Is your dream that bad? Natatakot ka ba? Am I the one causing you the nightmares?" nag-aalangang tanong ko sa kanya.

Natigilan si Zirrius sa tanong ko at bahagyang umawang ang labi. Nang matauhan, mariin niyang itinikom ang bibig at umigting ang panga. But then he suddenly calmed down.

"You smell so good," he quietly said. Ako naman ang natigilan. Nagdududang tiningnan ko siya. Mukhang gusto pa niyang ilihis ang usapan.

"That won't do," nakasimangot na saad ko kahit sobrang bilis na ng tibok ng puso ko at namumula na talaga ang pisngi ko. I was glad that the room was quiet dark and he wouldn't notice.

"Really? Sinabi ko naman sa 'yo na pagsisisihan mo kapag hindi ka umalis dito, hindi ba?" paos na tanong niya sa 'kin. I noticed the threat on his voice. He leaned closer and sniffed my neck. Mas lalo akong kinabahan nang lumapat ang mainit niyang hininga sa balat ko. "I'm giving you time to go. Just leave already," mariin at mabigat na wika niya. "Don't ask questions."

"Why? Bakit ayaw mong sabihin sa 'kin? Wala ka na ring magagawa ngayon. Kailangan naming sumama pabalik sa Alveria. My people are dying! I need to save them! And you have to tell me the problem so I can help you!" naiinis na saad ko. I was so frustrated. I wanted to be selfish as well. Hindi lang para sa mga nasasakupan ko ang gagawin ko. I was also doing this for myself. I wanted to protect him. Hindi niya kakayaning lumaban nang mag-isa. Alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko kakayanin kung mawawala siya.

Zirrius froze on his position. "You're coming?" gulat na tanong niya.

"It's not your decision to make," buo ang loob na wika ko.

"What should I expect? You never listen, anyway," pagod na saad niya.

"Kung ganu'n, kailangan mo ng masanay," nakasimangot na saad ko. Mahina akong napaungol nang dumampi ang mainit niyang labi sa leeg ko.

"Should I make you listen, sometimes?" he asked meaningfully. He sounded feral, like a wild animal ready to devour anything. He planted small, sweet kisses on my neck that made me moan. Pakiramdam ko, bigla akong nanghina. Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang braso niya. "You like this?" he teased.

Malalim akong humugot ng hininga. My breathing was becoming uneven. "You didn't leave because you like this to happen," he said as if he was testing me.

Mariin akong napapikit at umiling. I didn't know if I really want this. I don't want this when he was being so cruel. He was trying to push me away. He was being rude because he wanted to chase me away. Though he didn't dare to bite my neck.

He lifted his face and kissed my cheeks.

"Are you aware, Zirrius? That connection?" mahinang tanong ko sa kanya. Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. Iminulat ko ang mga mata at matiim siyang tiningnan. And that's when I realized that he was aware of it. I could see longing, fear and uncertainty on his deep sapphire blue eyes.

"I have the right to refuse it, right?" diretsong tanong niya sa 'kin. Ramdam ko ang paninikip ng dibdib ko dahil sa sinabi niya. He was refusing it without hesitation. Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko upang pigilan ang nagbabadyang pagtulo ng luha ko. "I have to refuse, then," he said. "I'll never be right for you. You have to find someone else. Someone worth it. Someone who can protect you. That someone isn't me."

"Wala na akong magagawa sa pagsama mo pabalik sa Alveria. You need to save your people. But let's put an end to this. Forget about this connection, this bond because it will never matter now. Hindi ka magiging masaya sa 'kin."

Naramdaman ko ang tila bikig na bumara sa lalamunan ko pero nagawa ko pa ring magsalita kahit nanginginig ang boses ko. "Mahal mo pa ba siya? Mahal mo pa ba si Liana?"

Hindi siya nagsalita. He just looked straight to my eyes. "Do you love me? Or are you just acting on whim? Just because you realized that we're..... mates?"

"Hindi mo ba naiintindihan ang ibig sabihin nu'n? We're mates because we are destined to be together. We are destined to fall in love with each other!" mariing sambit ko sa kanya.

"I don't think so," mariing wika niya.

"So you still love her? That's why you can't accept the bond?" diretsong tanong ko sa kanya. Mabigat siyang bumuntong-hininga. He let go of me and sit on the edge of his bed.

Nakatalikod siya sa 'kin. Umupo na rin ako patalikod sa kanya. I couldn't handle the sight of him without crying. Maybe this bond was not that strong to keep us together.

"It's me you're dreaming, right? My death haunts you. You're afraid because of me," mariing saad ko dahil halos mabingi na ako sa katahimikang bumabalot sa silid na ito. Hindi siya nagsalita kahit hinihintay ko man ang sagot niya.

Maybe it's something we can never escape from. The memories of the past was keeping up with us. "You can never run away from the past especially when you let it haunt you. Learn to face it, instead. Or else it will keep you from moving forward. You will be left stuck in your fears and doubts. If you don't want the bond, I understand but please try to move forward," mabigat na wika ko. I'm glad I have enough courage to say it.

Tumayo na ako at naglakad patungo sa pinto. When I looked back at him, his hands were pressed on his head. He didn't dare to say a word but I could feel his pains and worries. Kahit gusto ko siyang lapitan at yakapin, hindi ko magawa. Gusto kong bawasan ang pag-aalala niya pero hindi niya ako hahayaan. Nang makalabas ako, nanghihinang isinandal ko ang likod sa pader ng pasilyo.

Nahihirapang napaupo ako sa sahig. I pressed my face on my knees. What should I do now? He directly refused the bond. Is it really over? Just like that?

But then, I also admired him for resisting because only few can. But then it was piercing through my heart and I never knew if I could treat him the way it was before. And I couldn't stop the tears that rolled down my face.

So this is what it felt like to be rejected? To be denied.

~~~

Handa na ang barkong sasakyan namin pabalik sa Alveria. All of my people was hopeful that I could find a cure for the Decay. The war never really ended. This is just the beginning but we'll be seeing this through, till the end.

****

END

Author's Note:

Hello there! Thanks for reading this until the end. So, see you on Heartbound. I will be posting it soon. I skipped many scenes on this story and didn't write in full details but I hope you still enjoyed it. Though I'm planning to revise some scenes, maybe in the book version only, if ever. Cheers!

~ Missmaple

P.S.

Dedicated to Arne Laurel. Congrats on winning the game in the group!