"I am so messed up. I hate myself.
I am my beater. I am my destroyer.
I am my demons. I am my critic.
I am my enemy."

Atharva didn't know how he managed to let those words come out of his mouth, but he felt satisfied for being able to tell her the truth. He realized his condition wasn't the same anymore. He was improving after years, even if it was just a little.

He didn't think how bitter his words were. He didn't think how he hurt her. He didn't think how her heart broke. He didn't think how she cried to sleep. He didn't think how she starved herself. He didn't think about how she was waiting for him to return home. She felt tired for the first time.

He made his way into the office building, not acknowledging the presence of his staff when they greeted him. He just wanted to be left alone for a while, but we don't always get what we want, and the same thing happened with him.

"Wait, Atharva!" Maria put down the phone and smiled at him. "Good morning."

His footsteps slowed in front of her desk, and he gave her a weak smile. "Good morning, Maria."

He didn't understand how she could be so cheerful in the morning, or maybe he was the only one who was sulking always.

"Are you okay?" she asked him with concern etched on her face. She knew something was wrong with him because he always greeted her in the morning, unless his mood was off, which was happening a lot recently.

He gritted his teeth. "Yeah, all good."

Maria frowned. She could tell Atharva was lying. "How is Aahana?"

This time Atharva didn't answer, instead looked down at his polished shoes. He didn't have anything to say because he didn't want to lie. Aahana wasn't fine, and she would never be as long as he was a part of her life. He hated himself for it.

"Are you both happy?"

"I can never be happy," he finally said.

"But why, Atharva? Isn't she nice?" Maria's frown deepened. She had already met Aahana on their wedding day. She was an absolute sweetheart, so friendly and beautiful, she had won Maria's heart. That one conversation was enough for her to know that Atharva would be the happiest man with Aahana as his life partner.

He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know..." Then he started walking in the direction of his cabin, leaving her confused and troubled.

He could never talk about it, not with anyone. He couldn't wear his emotions on his sleeve for people to see, for they would only make a joke of him.

Sighing heavily, he unfolded his laptop and switched it on to finalize the presentation he was to email to the Mumbai investors when Pranav reminded him about the meeting he had today in an hour. Cursing under his breath, he handed all the files to Pranav, and they both took off to the Taj Mahal hotel. Luckily they reached in time. Otherwise, with how awful the traffic in Delhi was, it would have taken them forever.

"Good morning, Mr. Saxena. I am glad you could make it on such short notice." The man smiled as he gestured for Atharva to sit.

Atharva smiled back and nodded with a movement of his hand. "I don't skip good opportunities, Mr. Patel. And please, call me Atharva. Mr. Saxena feels quite old."

Mr. Patel laughed. "Alright, Atharva. Shall we begin?"

"We shall."

The meeting went well, and they signed the agreement papers with all the terms and conditions before standing up and shaking hands with each other.

His jaw twitched, and his throat went dry the moment his hand was engulfed in Mr. Patel's.

This was the one thing that bothered Atharva about his work, albeit he should be used to it by now since interacting with business people was mandatory in his lifestyle. He had met plenty of them in meetings, parties, and interviews.

But coming in close contact always made him feel like everything had happened just yesterday. The depressing memories which never missed to invade his mind looked very fresh suddenly.

Before his panic attack could get triggered, he forced a smile and let his hand drop to his side. "It was nice meeting you, Mr. Patel." His voice sounded thick and hoarse. He cleared his throat and spoke again, "We will start working on the project soon. I'll email you further details."

"Sure thing, Atharva. Have a good day."

Picking up his car keys, he nodded and walked out, Pranav following him with the file for their new mall in Bangalore. Their company had been doing tremendous for ages now, reaching great heights of success. His grandfather and father had worked very hard to pull their company, Saxena Enterprises, to global popularity. And now, he wanted to expand it in his own country, India. He wanted the people of his nation to experience as many benefits as the people outside did. They not only owned a bunch of hotels but also fashion lines, and manufactured construction equipment, furnishings, and electronic appliances. Their branch was so vast, it never failed to amaze people.

On the way back to the office, he decided to stay away from his house for a few days to avoid his encounter with Aahana again. He instructed Pranav to bring him dinner later on the 30th-floor Penthouse suite and stepped inside the private elevator to reach his cabin on the 29th floor.

Pranav looked perplexed but nodded quietly.

Everyone knew he was married. They all had been invited to his wedding reception, so it was quite unsettling to see him spend more time in the office than with his wife at their home.

Hiding away from someone was what cowards did but he was no less. He had been doing this for years, and he was used to it by now. He felt ashamed at times but he had learned to accept it. Life wasn't perfect, and nobody could fathom this better than him. With a bitter chuckle, he shook his head.

There was a knock on the door, and his face dropped to an expression of surprise and curiosity when he saw his father.

"Why are you here, Dad?"

Harshvardhan smiled and took a seat opposite him. "Can't a father come to meet his son?"

"Sure. But I know you better than you think I do."

He chuckled and nodded. "Ok, you caught me. I'm here because I received a call from Mr. Kapoor today."

Atharva tried to recall that surname but he was met with nothing. Raising an eyebrow questioningly, he waited for an explanation.

"Don't tell me you don't know who he is." His father all but yelled at him in disbelief.

"Who is he?"

"Your father-in-law." He narrowed his eyes at Atharva, irritation flickering in them. "What the hell, Atharva? Why do I feel like you haven't interacted with your wife?"

Silence ensued for a brief second as they stared at each other. "I haven't," he finally muttered, confirming his father's presumption.

"What?" Harshvardhan bellowed, standing up from the chair instantly. "What's wrong with you? Why do you behave this way?"

"You wouldn't understand." His jaw twitched and a scowl appeared on his face.

"How do you expect me to understand if you don't share? Tell me!" Now his father was fuming in outrage.

"I-I... nothing." Atharva held his breath and looked away.

"Forget it! Mr. Kapoor wants his daughter to work in the office just like she did before marriage. Aahana will join from Friday, so behave. I don't want to hear any complaints," said his father and then left him to be surrounded by emptiness.

Atharva gripped the chair tightly until his knuckles turned white and closed his eyes, feeling turbulence of emotions within him striving to break free, the prominent being fear and loneliness. But he couldn't. He had locked, chained, and buried them deep inside for years, and he would continue to do the same for the years ahead.

Rubbing his aching chest, he picked up the glass of water and took a sip of it, remembering his father's last statement.

Aahana will join from Friday. Four days from now.

Wasn't her presence in his house enough that she had to be in his office too? Now he seriously had no idea how he would ignore her.

For him, everyone in this world was evil, only acting like an angel when they benefited from something. And all the people he had seen, in business and beyond confirmed this. They were after him for his looks and bank accounts. They remained close to him so that they could manipulate him to get whatever they wanted, and not because they cared. His wife couldn't be different. After all, she was a business tycoon's daughter.

Grunting incoherent words under his breath, he made his way to his penthouse, his decision final. He was going to ignore Aahana, and if required, he would lock the cabin door. Or, maybe he could assign her some work that would keep her miles away from him.

He shrugged off his blazer and unbuttoned his shirt in the living room before moving towards the kitchen. Pranav had already bought the food and placed it on the counter, which was still warm. He grabbed a spoon and started eating directly from the container while thinking about his day which had turned out bad. And he somehow knew that the coming days would be worse.

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