"If it was only love, I could leave you. But you have become my addiction, one which I can't live without."

All of a sudden, Atharva had gone back to his old self and withdrawn himself from her, barely uttering a word.

He was always tensed and lost in thought. Something seemed to be nagging him but Aahana didn't have any idea about it.

Like other times, she had opened her mouth to ask him if he was okay, but she wasn't sure she could when he wouldn't even spare her a glance.

Aahana was elated when he'd changed, and after her little confession to herself, she just couldn't stop thinking about Atharva and wanted to be around him more often, but their movie night was the last time he'd been relaxed around her. Surely they went to Jay's house the next day, but he was rigid and fidgety throughout the day, and they hadn't gotten any time to talk to one another.

Not to mention the scars she'd seen on his wrist when he was engrossed in painting the wall. At first, she hadn't seen them but when she stood there longer admiring him, her eyes caught sight of the cuts which had healed but had left their mark on his skin. She was utterly bewildered, but she didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable in front of them than he already was, so she didn't question him and by the time they reached home, she was completely off to even say a coherent word.

The next morning when the sluggishness washed away and Aahana got out of bed, everything had changed. Atharva was awfully quiet. In the office, he kept his face buried in the laptop and files. And when Aahana returned home that night, Atharva was already asleep. She could tell because the lights of his room were switched off and his door was locked.

It was very strange because it was only 8:00 PM, and he never retired to his room this early. Why today? And when she walked into the kitchen, not a single thing was out of place. She realized he hadn't cooked. He hadn't eaten anything before going to bed and that thought made her lose her appetite as well.

She couldn't do anything but blame herself. Did she do something to upset him?

But as she recalled the events with Atharva, nothing clicked in her head. Everything was going smoothly, until today.

Was it the horror movie? Was he angry at her for not letting him go when clearly he was scared? Was he angry at her for taking him to Jay's house?

Or maybe he was busy with work and forgot about her?

But that was quite unlikely because either he was giving her full attention or avoiding her. And for now, the latter seemed more appropriate.

Her mood declined.

For a moment, she couldn't help but think if those moments were a dream. Because if it was, it was a beautiful dream. He hadn't smiled at all, but that hadn't bothered her much. He was always around her, talking to her, cooking for her, staring at her, sitting beside her, and that all made her heart warm.

He had been really nice every minute they were together. And she hadn't been able to stop herself from looking at him, noticing the small things about him. How he would scratch the back of his neck and look down at his feet when he was shy, how he would tap his fingers on his thigh or desk when he was nervous, how he would breathe heavily when she was near him, how he would look at her with those intense eyes, how he would ball his hands into fists and clench his jaw when he was angry.

Damn, she was definitely falling for him.

Heaving a sigh, she walked into her room, hopped into a warm shower, and after changing into her pajamas, she fell into bed but she couldn't sleep, not when a certain someone was invading her mind.

Atharva.

She felt more worried about him.

Tossing and turning, she gazed at the ceiling as her fingers absentmindedly fiddled with the mangalsutra around her neck.

It was just an ordinary gold chain but very precious to her. An auspicious thread symbolizing their marriage. The only thing that was given to her by Atharva as a token of love. But there was no love for crying out loud.

She thought he was finally opening up to her but no, he shut himself again. There were no feelings from his side. Nada.

It had been more than a month to their marriage and her feelings for him seemed to be escalating pretty quickly, making her anxious. She didn't know what she'd do if he never reciprocated the same, probably breakdown and cry her eyes out.

Should I tell him how I feel?

Her eyes widened in horror and she clamped a shaky hand over her mouth, her breathing becoming ragged when she imagined the consequences.

No no... I can't tell him.

She shook her head frantically and closed her eyes, feeling a pang in her chest as if someone had pulled the strings to her heart too tightly and broken them. She didn't want to admit it because she was really happy for her best friend but she did envy him a little, okay a lot actually. He got to experience love, be with the one he wanted for his life.

And here she was, consumed with conflicting thoughts.

Muttering curses, she got out of the bed and marched to Atharva's room. She didn't care if he was sleeping. She was going to knock until he opened the damn door and demand him answers to her questions.

She needed reassurance.

If he told her to wait, she would happily wait for him for eternity without any complaint but if he didn't want to do anything with her, she would have no other choice but to divorce him despite how she felt for him.

Because sometimes one-sided love was not enough for both. Sometimes you needed to let go of the one you love to let him find love.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Repeatedly, until she felt her knuckles turn pale and tingle in pain. Still, she didn't stop. She kept knocking, banging, pushing, kicking but no sound was heard from the other side of the door.

She was desperate now and as time passed, she felt rage bubbling within her.

Of course, he didn't sleep like the dead. He knew she was outside but he didn't buzz from his bed.

She slid down on the floor and leaned on his door for support as her body quivered and hot tears of pain streamed down her cheeks.

Her sobs, hiccups, and screams with every breath she took suffocated her and she felt an unknown ache unfurl in the pit of her stomach and consume her until she felt nothing but numb.

She was raised in a family where everyone loved and cherished her. She got everything and anything she wanted. But for the first time, it wasn't like that. She did get Atharva but not really.

After what seemed like hours of silence, she fell into a restless slumber, cold and sad with one thought running in her mind.

I have to file for a divorce.

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