The memory comes back to me in a dream.

The dream is so vivid and I'm aware that I am dreaming, because it's a long forgotten memory of the past.

First all I see is a blur of color and shapes, but suddenly I am back in the corridors of Korean Arts High School. It's my senior year, and I wasn't aware of the secret my mom was keeping from me, about the illness that was shortening her lifespan, at least not until halfway through midterms when I would be silently driven to the hospital my mom had been admitted to by trusty old Mr. Joo.

 I blame myself for being so oblivious back then. I blame myself for being just like my father, immersed in her own world while her loved ones struggle and battle with their demons alone.

All my life, my wish was to be a chameleon because the Im name was too heavy for me to carry. Back then, I was too focused to  avoid drawing attention to myself at school and just live in a world I created inside my mind, so much so that I didn't even know my own mother had been diagnosed with brain cancer.

At school, I was someone who never sought to stand out. While I got good grades, I wasn't one of those popular kids. Well, maybe everyone did know whose daughter I was but that's just like being famous by association.

But there was this boy, this charming Busan transfer who had come to Seoul after being selected as an idol trainee.

 I didn't know much about him, not even his name and that's not because I'm a social recluse but because of the fact that our school had a lot of students and even though we were in the same grade, he wasn't an Art Department student.

A friend of mine was the one who told me about him, pointing him out one day while we were eating in the school cafeteria. 

She nudged and pointed at a bespectacled boy, with carefully messed up mop of brown hair and a very large, almost blinding smile who was animatedly talking to a bunch of students.

He was popular apparently, a crowd pleaser.

She also told me that she suspected he had a crush on me, because whenever he saw me or passed me in the corridors, he would blush and stare. I had no idea about this, being the lost-in-her-own-world girl I was.

My dream takes me back to one late evening.

I am in the art room, painting, when I realise it has grown dark. While some people might be attending night classes, my class was dismissed hours ago yet I asked my teacher for permission to stay back.

I can't stop once I begin a project and thus it resulted in me staying back after class a lot. The teachers never minded.

After I lock up the classroom and proceed to leave, I hear faint music while I trudge along in the corridor. The music leads me straight to the Dance Department's dance studio.

I creak open the door slightly and my eyes fall on someone spinning like a top, white t-shirt drenched and almost see through as he dances like he's gliding,  so graceful that my eyes refuse to tear themselves from the boy.

I don't recognize him at first, but when he notices my presence and halts mid step, wide eyes meeting mine, I know it's the popular boy with a charming smile. His glasses are missing though.

"You should head home, it's late." I say.

He sheepishly switches off the music, his gait suddenly turning awkward as he grabs his bag and bottle and hastily scrambles to switch off the lights.

His actions are endearing, making me crack a smile, a real one which I usually reserve for my mom.

We fall in step together as we walk through the corridors, but I don't turn to to right to exit the school building but rather walk on, heading for the stairs.

The boy asks me where I'm headed but I don't answer leaving it up to him to follow me if he wants.

He does, all the way up to the school roof, past the glass greenhouse there and to the railing overlooking the dark sky, which for a change has denser-than-usual splattering of stars, a rare occurrence.

"Does Busan have more stars?" I ask him but before he can reply,  I add, "Then again, when you start considering people as stars, your loved ones will seem to shine brighter than even Sirius A." I muse, a crooked grin tugging at the corners of my lips.

I reach into my schoolbag and take out the thermos flask I always carried with me. 

"Want some?" I ask the boy, who blushes a little before asking what it is. When I tell him it's coffee, he shakes his head no although a curious gleam in his eyes asks me a question I answer,

"I always make and drink my own coffee."

 I thought this boy was a social butterfly, yet why do I find myself talking more than him when I'm an introverted loner?

A comfortable silence settles between us as we stand next to each other, me leaning my elbows on the roof railing and him stealing glances at me from the corner of his eyes.

A loud growl from the boy's stomach breaks the silence though. He looks away, his face turning red due to embarrassment.

I dig through my bag and produce a bar of Snickers. I always carry a few with me so that my blood sugar level is never low.

But when I give it to him, he refuses even though I can see he really wants to eat it. He keeps on declining.

"You're hungry and you were practising till late. You need to eat." I insist. He bites his lower lip, and I can tell he is tempted to but he shakes his head again.

"I can't." He mutters but I hear it anyway.

"Why not?"

A loud sigh escapes his mouth, his shoulders shagging down as he fixes his gaze on his feet,

"I...um...it's complicated."

"My middle name is complicated. Try me."

 "I need to stay in shape. For the sake of my group." His answer makes me furrow my brows and when he sees me frowning in confusion, he explains,

"You probably haven't heard of us because we're still rookies. There are seven of us and we're called BTS. We debuted last June. One of my fellow members is in our grade too, Kim Taehyung."

"Sorry, it's just that I don't keep up with the entertainment industry. But I do wish you and your group best of luck."

"Thank you." 

"Still, you needing to stay in shape doesn't mean that you should stop eating." 

"I'm on a diet actually. I need to lose these chubby cheeks." He chuckles but it's without humor. 

"Why? I think they look adorable." I can't stop the words spilling from my mouth. His eyes widen at that and he blushes yet again. 

"Th-thank you."He grins a little but it falters a bit as he mumbles, "But others don't think so..."

"Screw those who don't think so." 

"I-I'm sorry?" He splutters a bit.

"I said screw them. I saw you dance and it was so enthralling that I couldn't look away. You're friendly and sweet just as you are. So screw people who think otherwise."

"Now eat this. You can have a cheat day today." I urge, and he accepts at last.

"I'm Im Byeol by the way."

"I know. Park Jimin."

"Don't skip meals. You skipped lunch right?"

He doesn't answer but I know it's true from the way he suddenly focuses solely on munching the chocolate bar.

"So the reason you talk to all those people who surround your table during lunch break is because it gives you an excuse to not eat, huh?"

He still doesn't say anything.

"Don't skip lunch tomorrow." I try to sound as stern as possible which makes me question as to why I am so concerned about this boy in the first place but I brush those thoughts away.

"Okay, I promise I won't." He nods solemnly and extends his pinky finger, making me arch my eyes questioningly.

"We have to seal it." Those dark eyes behind the glasses are twinkling, just like stars. He pushes the frame up his nose consciously when I stare at him for a few seconds more than what is considered polite.

"Okay..." I mimic him, and he chuckles, taking matters into his own hands and interlinking our pinkies to seal the promise.

Our eyes meet and a slow smile spreads on his face, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He is  beaming like one of the stars above us, his smile making something stir inside my chest.

Throughout the rest of the year, he bashfully smiled and looked away whenever we would run into each other and I found myself walking past the dance studio each time I stayed back late in school.

 We did run into each other a couple of times and even exchanged our numbers, but he was still so shy with me, which was in stark contrast to how I saw him always surrounded by friends in school.

He stopped coming to school later as he got busy with being an idol and my whole came crashing down when I discovered my mother's illness.

 Park Jimin slipped into a forgotten corner of my mind.

Until now that is.