Jason: You are a rat bastard. 

Tim: ???

Tim: what did i do now?

Jason: You know what, you unwashed toenail.

Tim: please, enlighten me. 

Tim: bc last time you texted me calling me a 'rat bastard' it was because i 'stole' the last french fry...even tho i bought them and they were my lunch and you were mooching off me

Tim: like always.

Jason: Are you implying that since I grew up poor and in crime alley I must be food mooch?

Tim: you with these wild allegations. 

Jason: Ooh, big word.

Tim: not rlly

Tim: i am just telling it like it is

Tim: you, jason todd-kyle, are a food moocher. 

Jason: And you, Timothy Drake, are a rat bastard.

Tim: !!!!

Tim: pls tell me what i did so babs doesnt flag my phone for your vulgar language

Jason: Who is Babs? 

Tim: um

Tim: dick's ex?

Jason: Why would Dickie's ex flag your phone? Why does she have access to your phone?

Tim: um

Tim: !!!

Tim: going thru a tunnel!!!

Tim: txt u l8r

Jason: Timothy, I literally see you speed walking away from me. We were just in chemistry together. 

Jason: Damnit, you grizzly French horn! Get back here!

Cursing lowly, the young thief pushed his way through the crowd towards his target, never taking his eyes off the back of his head. 

Tim ducked and weaved his way through the teens, making his way towards the boys' bathroom. He was almost there when a hand grabbed his arm and paused him in his steps. 

Or, more accurately, a hand grabbed his arm and slammed him into the wall next to the bathrooms, making Tim stop in his tracks. 

He looked up at the hand gripping his arm, his eyes trailing up the appendage to the face of its owner. He grimaced when he saw a slightly peeved Jason Todd-Kyle standing there. Jason narrowed his eyes at the innocent grimace on Tim's face. "I know you got my texts, Drake."

"...did you really call me a grizzly French horn?" Tim snorted. "What does that even mean?"

"What do you think it means, smart ass." Jason grunted, pushing Tim harder into the wall.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe you think I am graying and it makes you want to bl - "

Jason flushed, putting a hand over his mouth. "Oh, you wish, Timothy."

"No, you wish." Came Tim's muffled reply.  Jason glared harsher and Tim rolled his eyes, using his free hand to pry Jason's off his mouth. "Your hand tastes like sourdough pretzels."

"Why the hell were you tasting my hand?" Tim shrugged and Jason rolled his eyes, releasing Tim from his grip. "And I'm supposed to be the fruity one."

Tim was about to snark that any teen boy that willingly dresses up as a cat and steals fine jewelry is most definitely not a hetero. But then he remembered that he was Tim Drake and not Robin, so he decided to just arch a brow and shrug again.

"You're in Gotham, Jason."

"Way to point out the obvious, Timothy."

"What I mean is, look who is here; Batman, Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Riddler, Joker, Penguin, Two Face, Magpie - " Jason, surprisingly, kept his composure at the mention of his alter ego, " - my point being, you are in the biggest cornucopia on Earth. Everyone here is at least a little fruity."

Jason's eyes got a devilish twinkle to them. "Everyone, eh?"

Tim huffed, getting what he was implying. "Yes, Jason, even me."

"Even Dickie?" Jason wiggled his eyebrows and Tim glared at him.

"Dick is not available! Stop trying to hit on my brother, you weirdo!" Tim huffed.

"...but if he were, is he...you know?" Jason laughed when Tim elbowed him in the ribs, thoroughly flustered.

"You are so annoying, I don't know why I hang out with you." Tim mumbled, rubbing his temples. 

"Oh, I'm the annoying one? You're the rat bastard that didn't partner with me in chem today and chose that floosie Julie over me! What happened to - "

"Don't say it."

" - hoes before bros?"

Tim blinked, confusion on his face. "Did you just call yourself a hoe and Julie my bro?"

"Absolutely, I did. I am, in fact, a hoe. Therefore I cannot say bros before hoes because that would imply you would choose anyone over me and that is not acceptable. I am your first and only choice. Always." Jason spoke solemnly before bursting into giggles. "Man, you should see your face!"

Tim sighed. "You are strange, Jason."

"Normal is mundane and boring. Live on the edge and live freely, bëbë." Jason finger gunned Tim, earning a scoff and an eye roll. Fixing his composure, Jason looked at Tim seriously. "Why does Dickie's ex have access to your phone?"

Stepping past Jason, Tim chuckled nonchalantly. "She doesn't.  I was just seeing how gullible you really are."

Jason's face burned once more and he whirled around, finger raised in the air to protest Tim's point when the younger teen was gone, having disappeared once more into the crowd.

After school that day, having returned home from the torturous building, Jason plopped himself down on the couch with a huff, his school bag tossed somewhere past the coffee table.

Selina entered the room with a mug of tea in her hands, instantly sensing the mood in the room. She perched next to her son on the arm of the furniture, sipping her beverage. "So. You wanna tell me about the person that is giving you so much trouble?"

Jason groaned, tossing his head back dramatically. "He is such an ass! I swear, I am either going to go to jail for our extracurricular activities or for beating the living daylights out of this kid." Selina arched a brow, taking another sip of her beverage as she peered back into the kitchen, shaking her head slightly. Jason looked up at his mom, peering at her from behind the hand that was draped across his eyes. "You wouldn't believe it, mom. He just - argh! He frustrates me so much! I want to punch him in his stupid little face."

Selina hummed. "What did he do this time?"

Harrumphing, Jason stood up in a flourish, stomping into the kitchen as Selina followed. "First, he picked someone else to be his chem partner today, leaving me to be some poor saps problem. Then, he ignored my texts and bated me, and - worst of all - he told me I taste like sourdough pretzels! Everyone knows I taste like a classic pretzel."

"Yeah, I mean, that's just common knowledge. Sides, classic is better than sourdough, so good riddance to that brat." Jason jumped at the sound of a third voice, grabbing the switchblade from his pocket and holding it front of him. "Woah, woah, woah, woah! Selina, tell the pint sized kitty to cool it, will ya?"

"What are you doing in my home?" Jason snarled, still holding the blade at the intruders throat.

Selina came up behind him and lowered the blade away from the woman's throat, shooting her an apologetic look. "Jason, hun, remember when I said we would call in back up for our...Black Mask problem?"

"Uh huh." Jason nodded, staring suspiciously at the corner where a fourth person was making themselves known.

"Well, these two are my back up." Selina smiled, gesturing to the two strangers in the kitchen.

The fourth person walked calmly up to Jason and Selina, bending down to look at the teen for a moment before straightening up to talk with the adult. "He's a cutie. But if he threatens my girlfriend again, we're going to have a problem, Selina."

"And if you threaten my son again, you won't live to tell the tale."

"Ooh, he's your kid!? Awe, ain't that just  adorable."

Jason swatted the pale hands that pinched his cheeks, unsure about these two.

But if Selina trusted them, then so would he.