Virgil : I am the opitamy  of my dark edginess . I listen to heavy metal , graffiti buildings , and prank racist & transphobic cops . I carry at least 3 knives on me and am completely willing to fight anyone at anytime.
Also Virgil: * laying on the counter with a mug full of cereal crying in a cupcake hoodie* I'll stop wearing black when they make a darker color!!

___________________________
Patton , holding Logan's hand : we're expecting a baby !!
Roman : oh ? Congratulations!!!
Patton: oh looks , here he comes !
Virgil : guys , please, stop it ...
___________________________
Virgil : * at McDonald's drive through * hi, can I get one McWill to live ?
Roman : babe , we've talked about this .
Logan : * launches Patton through the drive through window *
Patton: * sitting in Virgil's lap * would you like fries with that ?
___________________________
Roman : if I die , my funeral's gonna be  the biggest fucking party and you're all invited.
Logan : if ?
Virgil : great , the only party I've ever been invited to and he might not even die .
___________________________
Logan : life is a sexually transmitted disease.
Virgil : with 100% chance of death .
Roman: why are you two like this ?
__________________________
Roman: * walks out of a craft store with a arm load of art supplies *
Logan : * shakes his head In
disappointment *
Roman: in my defense , I was left unsupervised.
___________________________
Logan , watching the news : some idiot just fought a squid at the aquarium .
Roman , covered in squid ink: maybe the squid was a prick .
___________________________
Logan : * watching the news * some idiot just tried to fight a squid at the aquarium .
Virgil : * covered in squid ink * maybe the squid was being a dick .
___________________________
Virgil : hey dad can I go get some candy ?
Patton : what did mom say ?
Virgil: no .
Patton : then why do you think I'll let you ?
Virgil: because Logan's not they boss of you .
Patton , internally : it's a trap , it's a trap , it's a trap ,it's a -
___________________________
Virgil: Danger is my middle name .
Patton : that's a lie .
Patton: your middle name is cutie pie * books Virgil's nose *
___________________________
Logan : excuse me , why am I considered the responsible one ?
Virgil : Roman once stuck his hand in a toaster that was still on because he wanted his toast that second.
Roman : Virgil once ate ice cream with a knife because he didn't want to acknowledge it was his turn to do the dishes.
Patton : I almost crashed the car because I saw a dog on the side walk
Logan : I'll never question it again .
___________________________
Roman : * casually slides into the splits *
Roman :sup
Virgil: what the -
___________________________
Patton , holding Virgil back : Virgil, it looks dangerous.
Virgil: ugh , dad you say that about everything.
[virgil bounds forward ]
Roman , holding Virgil back : wait , careful .
Virgil, flustered : oh! Really? Okay .
Patton: * raises his arms to the air in confusion *
___________________________
Virgil : if you have 10 cookies and I asked for 5 , how many would you have ?
Patton: none .
Virgil: Patton, it's basic math , it's not that har-
Patton : I would give you all of them because I love you.
Virgil:...
Virgil, holding back tears : gross . Absolutely disgusting. Get out .
___________________________
Logan : I am a failure . A disappointment to my name . My dream and ambitions have been crushed , much love my previously dwelling will to live . My existence means nothing hence forth . The universe in burdened by my presence , I await death .
Roman : WHAT ?!
Virgil : he got a 98 on his math test .
___________________________
Logan ; aww , time to buy a new can . Our jar is empty .
Virgil, running in the kitchen: * snatches jar * this bitch empty , YEET .
Deceit: * gets hit in the head * what the fuck Virgil ?!
Roman : * coughs * you mean Richard.
Deceit: * internally facepalms *
Logan : * sighs *
Patton : WATCH YOUR PROFANITY!
___________________________
Logan : my sexuality ? My sexuality is complex , you see , it's more of a spectrum -
Patton : * walks by *
Logan : I'm gay . I'm fucking gay.
___________________________
Roman : dang it I forgot my keys , hey do you have a Bobby pin ?
Remy : yeah, oh wait I am not a 9 year old girl !
Roman : you act like one !
___________________________
Roman, dramatically : well , there is one being in this universe that has reached maximum gay .
Logan: that's theoretically impossible, name one person that couldn't possibly be gayer .
Roman : Remy
Patton : Remy
Virgil : Remy
Thomas : Remy
___________________________
Virgil: consider the following .
Virgil: seatbelts, except they throw you out of your seat , and they're called yeetbelts .
Logan : * whispers under his breath as he vigorously searches through his flash cards * what the fuck is a yeet .