This is before the restaurant scene

Tankhun's Pov

I laid down on the ground, staring up at the ceiling as my lips were formed into a thin line.

Last night was absolutely chaotic but it was fun, that's for sure.

However, just because I was drunk as hell, doesn't mean I don't remember anything.

Trust me. I remember everything.

And by everything, I really mean everything.

I remember leaving the bar to find Liam. I remember finding him sitting on top of the car while staring at the stars. I remember getting on top of the car myself so I could sit next to him. I remember apologizing to him for my behavior towards his friend.

I remember telling him why I reacted the way I did. I remember him questioning me.

And I remember telling him how I felt for him...

And I remember trying to kiss him...

At that reminder I let out a loud groan and rolled onto my side, curling up on the floor as I tried to make myself as small as possible.

God, what the hell is wrong with me?!

How could I have been so reckless? How could I have been so inconsiderate?

I almost kissed Liam because of my drunk ass!!

However, I do remember him stopping me from doing so. 

Which was a total relief. Thank god.

I remember him telling me that I was drunk and not in the right mind. I remember him telling me that he wasn't going to take advantage of me, even if my drunk ass stupidly told him that I wanted to kiss him.

I remember passing out into his arms and I vaguely remember him carrying me and placing me into the car before going to get the others.

No doubt to take us all home considering it was late and we were all very much wasted.

The wasted part was correct.

My head was hurting like an absolute bitch and my stomach was gurgling so many times that I lost count.

Luckily, I didn't feel the need to throw up, so that's a bonus.

However, the entire time I laid down on the ground, I couldn't stop thinking about Liam.

I remember everything I said to him and it got me thinking. 

Do I like Liam...?

Do I see him as more than just a bodyguard or a friend...?

I mean, don't get me wrong, all the bodyguards here are hot as hell and I wouldn't mind doing any of them.

However, ever since Liam stepped into the compound, something different has irked me.

Not only does he like being near me, he likes being my bodyguard and he likes spending time with me whenever he gets the chance.

That's clearly a shock to me because I know that my bodyguards aren't really fond of what I make them do.

I know that they're annoyed with my personality and my activities, which include watching series all day, and I know that everytime I were to rant to them about anything they would simply tune me out.

I was used to that. I was used to the bodyguards being that way towards me.

But, with Liam, it's different.

He enjoys my company and he enjoys being my bodyguard. Not once have I seen him annoyed whenever he's around me.

Even last night, after my stupidity he still wasn't annoyed.

Angry, yes.

Annoyed, no.

And he was still nice to me and he easily accepted my apology.

"Mr. Tankhun?" 

I would've continued ranting inside my head if it wasn't for the person who spoke my name.

Startled, I shot up from the ground, only to sigh in relief when I saw Pravat by the entrance.

"Pravat, to what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked.

"Oh, well I was looking for you since I wanted to make sure you were alright. Given last night was pretty chaotic" Pravat said.

I snorted.

That was an understatement of the century.

"No worries. I'm alright" I waved him off.

"Alright. Well, if there's anything you need, just-" he started as he got ready to leave.

My eyebrows furrowed together before my eyes widened and I extended my arm out.

"Wait!" I yelled.

Startled by my yell, he turned around and looked at me with confused but expectant eyes.

"I need to talk to you about something. It's kind of important" I spoke.

If there's anyone I can talk to about Liam, it's Pravat.

I've watched those two for quite a bit and I can tell how close they've gotten. They're just like Porsche and Pete, they easily became best friends.

Speaking of Porsche...

Yes, Porsche might be Liam's older brother, but I don't really fancy talking to him.

I don't really want to tell him about me having a possible crush on Liam.

Especially if he plans on hurting me for taking a liking, a romantic liking, towards his nong.

I watched as Pravat's eyebrows furrowed together before he nodded in understanding.

I watched as he grabbed a sign that said, in bold letters, 'DON'T DISTURB', and put it on the front of the door before closing the door.

Pravat walked over to me and sat down on the couch.

I sighed and got onto the couch myself, despite the fact that I wanted to stay on the ground.

"Pravat, I'm going to speak to you as a normal person. Not as your boss. Meaning that I'm giving you permission to speak to me freely" I sternly said.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise before he nodded.

I'm rarely ever serious so he knows that this must be important.

Well, it's not important like I'm scared something bad might happen, but it's still important.

"Of course. What's wrong?" Pravat asked, frowning slightly.

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair and cleared my throat.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" I asked.

"Uh, not really. It was chaotic and all of us, except Liam, were drinking nonstop" Pravat shrugged.

I snorted because he spoke the truth.

We were all chugging down whatever alcoholic beverages we could get our hands on.

While Liam sat at the bar, drinking one bottle of beer before drinking a glass of water, playing on his phone.

"Well, I remember a few things from last night. Which is crazy because I was drunk off my ass" I huffed.

"Oh, really? Like what?" Pravat asked in curiosity.

"Well, I remember leaving the bar to find Liam since he wasn't anywhere in sight. I found him sitting on top of the car, staring at the stars, and decided to join him. We talked, well, it was me apologizing to him for how I acted towards his friend" I explained.

"Oh, well that's good. Because, I'm sorry to say this, but I have been given permission, you were an ass" Pravat said.

I let out a noise that was a mixture of a huff and a laugh and waved him off.

I don't need him telling me something I already know.

"I know. I know. Luckily, Liam accepted my apology so things were fine between us" I said.

"If everything was resolved then what's the problem?" Pravat asked, frowning.

"Because I almost did another stupid act" I avoided his eyes.

"And that would be?" he waited for me to tell him what I did.

Should I sugercoat it...?

Or do I just tell him the truth...?

"I almost kissed him!" I blurted out.

Well, looks like the second option it is...

I jumped when Pravat shot up from the couch and was now staring at me like I'd grown two heads.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" he downright screamed.

I shot up from the couch myself and lunged forward, covering his mouth with my hand while shooting him a glare.

"Keep your voice down! Do you want the entire compound to hear you?" I angrily asked.

He huffed but nodded his head and with that I removed my hand from his mouth.

"Sorry. But, you tried to kiss Liam, are you serious?" Pravat asked.

I rolled my eyes and pulled him back down onto the couch.

"Yes, I did. Fortunately, Liam stopped me from doing so. That's a relief" I told him.

"For you or him?" Pravat asked, raising an eyebrow at me in confusion.

"Both of us, I guess" I shrugged.

"Then why do you sound, upset...?" Pravat asked, confused.

I bit my lip and looked down at my lap, trying my best to not let Pravat see the blush on my cheeks.

Unfortunately, he still saw...

"Oh my god! Do you like Liam?" Pravat asked in shock.

"Yes? No? Gah! I don't know!" I yelled out in frustration.

I practically threw myself onto the floor and let out a scream of frustration, thankful beyond everything that it was muffled.

What the hell is wrong with me? What's going on with me?

More importantly, what the hell has Liam done to make me feel this way?

"Tankhun, please get up. Or at least sit up if you don't want to get up" Pravat softly said.

Well, at least he's letting me stay on the floor.

Especially when I have zero intentions on getting up. Believe it or not, but the floor is pretty comfortable.

Sighing, I pushed myself up from the floor and sat up so that my back was leaning against the couch.

I looked at Pravat and saw him moving so that he was now sitting on the floor next to me.

"Thank you. Now, talk to me. Tell me how you feel" Pravat softly smiled.

One thing you should know about Pravat is that although I can annoy him, he does truly care about me.

Pravat and Liam are the only ones that care about me and enjoy my company.

Pravat does get annoyed because of me from time to time, but at least he's honest about it while the rest of my bodyguards try to hide it.

But, I know that he does enjoy my company the same way Liam does.

"That's the problem, I don't know how to feel. I don't know what I feel. God, I don't even know if he feels the same way" I complained.

A groan escaped my lips and I threw my head back.

Frustration was coursing through my body at the moment.

I felt so damn lost. I felt so damn tired, and it's not even because of the events that took place yesterday.

"How do you feel about Liam? What do you think of Liam?" Pravat asked.

"Liam" I laughed.

That name alone brought butterflies into my stomach.

That name alone had my heart fluttering and my cheeks turning red like a tomato.

"He's wonderful. He's friendly. He's an amazing company and..." I trailed off.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and I found myself smiling.

However, the smile was a shaky smile and I was trying to hold back my tears.

"He treats me like a normal human being. He likes spending time with me, he likes watching series with me and whenever I'm feeling upset or angry I can rant to him and I know he'll listen to every single word of mine. What is this feeling? Why does my heart beat when he's around?" I shakily asked.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I allowed them to fall down my cheeks.

Pravat frowned, his eyes widening, as he looked at me in shock and concern.

I forgot that this is the first time I've cried. 

Not fake tears. Not dramatic tears. Real tears.

These were real tears because I was filled with emotions, real emotions.

I didn't have the strength to wipe my tears away and just let them fall, I let myself show my vulnerability to Pravat.

Believe it or not, but Pravat is my friend, not just my bodyguard.

In fact, my bodyguards are my friends no matter what anyone says or what I do.

I truly do care about them. They're my friends, they're like my brothers.

And I know that in spite of everything, I can go to them no matter what.

Pravat especially.

Sighing, I turned to face him and offered him a faint but watery smile.

"In moments like these, I wish my mother was still here" I told him.

Mother was always great with this type of stuff. She always gave such great advice.

Whenever I needed her help, she was always there for me and she would always hug me and remind me that everything would be alright.

Mother would know what to do. Mother would tell me what I should do.

I desperately needed my mother by my side. I desperately needed her to hug me and kiss my cheek and reassure me that everything would be alright.

I long for my mother...

I need my mother...

I want my mother...

An arm was wrapped around my shoulder and I saw Pravat smiling at me, a genuine smile.

A genuine smile that I've only ever been used to getting from him and, of course, Liam.

"Tankhun, while this isn't a topic I'm good at giving advice to, I know that you truly do care about Liam. The same way he cares about you" Pravat softly said.

He gently wiped my tears away with a napkin he had taken out of his pocket.

Why he carries napkins with him all the time? I honestly have no idea.

"You like him, I know you do. The way you look at him and the way you act around him is nothing compared to how you look and act around others. If your heart flutters, if a blush appears on your face and if you smile so brightly at him whenever he's around, that's more than enough proof that you like him romantically" Pravat explained.

He tossed the napkins into a nearby trash bin as he gently patted my shoulder.

"Trust me. It's the same way my parents act around each other and it's how you act whenever Liam is around" he smiled.

A frown appeared on my face and I looked down at my lap, contemplating everything he just told me.

I also contemplated on everything I just told Pravat about Liam.

And after contemplating everything, after going through everything, I realized something...

I realized that...that...

I like Liam...

I really like him...

I don't just like him as a bodyguard or a friend, I like him as way more than that.

I've grown feelings for him...

I've grown romantic feelings for him, I realize that now.

And I also realize that I must find a way to know if he likes me the same way.

Because now that I've realized my feelings for him, I don't think I'm going to let him go anytime soon.