hi procrastinity!
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<3

FIRST IMPRESSIONS!

title! (5/5)

-it's straight to the point and relates to your story!

cover! (5/5)

-your cover looks really pretty! it's simple yet eye-catching!

description! (8/10)

-the first sentence after the dialogue sounds kind of misleading? i'm sure it's just me um

-i thought that it meant that namjoon's death is like food poisoning to the world if you know what i mean. maybe add something like 'the cause of kim namjoon's death-', like that? i'm not quite sure either but i think that it only sounds off to me lmao, you're not obliged to change it though.

-it might look better if you add commas in between 'family' and 'as well' then between 'wheein' and 'know'. it somehow makes it seem neater.

-other than that, i personally think that you wrote a really good description! i like how you added a dialogue, brief info about the story and a question that sparks curiosity.

WRITING STYLE!

grammar! (17/20)

-your writing style is surprisingly very classy! it sounds like i'm reading a book written years ago but with a modern twist, if that makes sense? i like the way you write, it's very 'appealing' lmaoo

-also, i'll only be mentioning a few minor errors that i found with some screenshots below.

-so um, a little reminder, i'm not always correct when editing paragraphs but i just go with what my gut says? i'll try to explain what i did up there.

-'making' is a present participle while 'smirked' is a past verb. 'making hoseok smirk in victory' sounds better to me because hoseok hasn't smirked yet, he's just about to smirk which is why i replaced it with a present verb.

-if it's still unclear to you, let me know and i'll try my best to explain it further.

-remember to always place a period after titles or honorifics like mr. kim, mrs. kim, ms. kim and dr. hong.

-the paragraph after jimin's dialogue has an odd sentence in it.

-'the first words that left park jimin, the manservant, even before he had taken a seat before the jung siblings amused hoseok, who immediately assumed a smile to calm the frightened lamb'

-the word before is being mentioned twice in one sentence and are close to each other. this may cause a misunderstanding just like how i read that sentence again and again just to understand because i felt confused.

-i believe that the second before meant like 'in front' of the jung siblings? maybe you can use 'in front' or other synonyms of before to lessen it's awkwardness?

-this is how i would rephrase your sentence: 'those were the first words that left park jimin's mouth. his immediate response before taking a seat in front of the jung siblings amused hoseok, who immediately assumed a smile to calm the frightened lamb'

-you can change it however you'd like, as long as you're satisfied with it and you think it sounds clear.

summary of everything:

-add periods after titles and honorifics, it's a basic rule in english literature.

-and maybe try editing your book once in a while just to make some sentences sound better? surely, if you've written this a 'long time ago', you might have learned new words or have changed your writing style up a bit. might as well use that as an advantage and proofread chapters in your book.

diction! (10/10)

-your vocabulary is outstanding! you have just the right amount of 'complexity' in your writing style and it doesn't feel boring to read at all.

editing! (4/5)

-it was just because of some minor errors that rarely occur in your book which is why i gave you a four. you've done a great job avoiding typos and misspellings!

STORY DYNAMICS!

plot! (17/20)

-your plot is very interesting! it makes the readers feel tense yet curious about the happenings in the house of kim.

-to be honest, i don't really know what else to say HAHAHA i absolutely love mystery stories because it makes the readers think like the detective. and sometimes, they'll just be surprised because they were suspecting the wrong person and all that.

-your story has currently made me think a lot about who could've done the crime and i just really like that HAHAHA whoops

flow! (10/10)

-ohmygod, the pacing of your story is incredibly smooth? like it's not too fast nor is it too slow, it's right in between and i'm just somehow impressed!

characters! (9/10)

-all of the characters are very diverse! especially the members of the kim family, the fact that you described each of them in detail through the housekeeper was a really wise decision! i love how different they are from each other and how they all don't act like the same person.

OVERALL EXPERIENCE!

satisfaction! (7/10)

-maybe the reason i wasn't super satisfied was because i wanted to know who poisoned mr. kim ooop

-besides that, your story was pleasant to read!

addictiveness! (4/5)

-of course, being curious about something will make the reader get addicted to that book. i personally kept reading because as i read every chapter, i gain more information and answers to some of the questions i had in my head. that makes me want to keep reading, definitely!

overall thoughts! (96/110)

-you did an absolutely amazing job with writing 'house of kim'! upon hearing the title, i didn't expect it to be a mystery story so when i found out that it was in the that genre, i was shook yet excited at the same time!

-your writing style baffles me sometimes because of how clean and sophisticated it is! it was really satisfying to read each paragraph and each chapter because of that.

-extra dedication to editing your book will definitely help, trust me. i'll be waiting for more updates from you!

-thank you so much for requesting! have a great day ahead, maits!

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feel free to ask me any questions or clarifications! i'm willing to answer all of them!

-chef mae <3