I'm so lost right now.

I guess this will be another segment where I pointlessly release my stress once again.

It's been a while since I last felt this depressed. It was an odd sort of depression however. Rather than feeling hopeless, I feel more... lazy?

I suppose that would be the right word to use here, but it's also not an accurate representation of  how I'm feeling right now.

I guess it would be more accurate to say that I'm more slothful now. Unmotivated. Unproductive.

My passion for multiple things seemed to have flown out the window. From learning what I love in school to playing games and doing little extra things here and there. I just can't bring myself to enjoy it much for some reason. I know that there's work that I NEED to do, and I do manage to finish one way or another. However, I just have this odd sensation of incompleteness and incompetence upon finishing.

For the last two months, I've been writing one way or another. Wattpad, essays, college apps, etc. I just can't bring myself to feel motivated right now. Maybe I should go on a random story rampage in this book or create multiple oneshots. I don't think it's a problem of pent up writing ideas though.

Even when playing games, I can't bring myself to find enjoyment. By the end of each match of Clash Royale, each Yu Gi Oh Duel, each stage of King's Raid, Brave Frontier, whatever! I just feel so strangely bored at the end. Like I wasted my time. I continue to play for the sake of burning time...

What am I doing to myself?