I remembered this from 2 years ago

English
Kid: Mr. Lud, I think if I fist-fought you, I'd win.
Teacher: Mic, if we fought, that'd be a 2-hit fight: I hit you, you hit the floor.
Class: OOOOOHOHHHHHHH!!!!
Kid: I get the slight feeling that you don't like me, Mr. Lud.
Teacher: Mic, let me say this right now. *shuts the door* You may drive me batshit fucking crazy, and that's just the way you are, but if a crazed gunman were to run in here with a loaded gun and aimed it at you, I would sprint as fast as I could over to you and take the bullet.
Kid: I don't believe it...
Teacher: It's true! I may not show you kids that I love you, but you better damn believe it! I love all you kids dearly, even if you guys make me want to pop a migraine pill everyday!
Kid: Oh...well-
Kid I Used To Like: *wiping tears* What did you do to me, sir?!
Ex-friend: *sniffles and chuckles* Why the hell am I crying?!?