This happened while my parents were at the realtor's office.

Phone Call
Me: ...
Me: My mom and stepdad are giving an offer that's outside of the school district
Ale: God dammit!!
Ale: WHY THOUGH?!
Me: I don't know!! And to be honest, I'm about two inches away** from crying...
Ale: Nono hon please don't cry!
Ale: *sends me a picture of his dog on her back* Look, here's Lucy being playful!
Ale: *sends me a video of his cat chasing after a laser light* And here's Evee being playful!
Ale: Please don't cry...
Me: I'm really trying not to.
Ale: If it helps, just picture Kimchi and I being nose-to-nose.
Me: *remembers* *snorts and giggles*
Other Realtors: o-O
Me: I just accidentally snorted in the middle of the realty office.
Ale: *laughs*

**Two inches away: being on the verge or close to.
Ex: I'm about two inches away from crying. (I'm on the verge of crying.)