Here are some that Friend 1 has said.

-*person you don't like breathes* "Wasted oxygen."

-"I don't need to be the next Chucky Darwin to know that your line of evolution should've stopped at the Ape."

-"Please do us all a favor and change the lightbulb that gives you ideas like that, because your lightbulb is so fucking dim, it's practically blown out!"

-"That garage door on your face has a "Close" option on it's remote for a good reason!"

-"Well you can, but you can't, yet you somehow can find a loophole that makes it so you can, but CAN YOU NOT?!?"

-"Y'know, you remind me of "Pico", because you both suck dick!!"