[JV's POV]

3pm. Tapos na ang klase ko para sa araw na ito, pero wala pa akong balak umuwi. Kailangan ko munang pumunta sa library dahil magkikita kami roon ni Greyson.

Gahd, ang weird pakinggan. Wala naman akong magagawa kundi sanayin ang aking sarili na tawagin siyang gano'n dahil baka matawag ko pa siyang Clement sa harap ng ibang tao.

Pumasok ako sa library building.

Gumawa ng tunog ang aking heels sa alternate black and white tiles ng gusali.

Maaliwalas ang paligid, nakakaganang mag-aral. Mataas ang ceiling at puti ang pinturang bumabalot sa mga dingding kaya hindi mukhang masikip ang silid-aklatan.

Nadaanan ko ang scanner malapit sa pintuan, gaya no'ng nga nasa malls. Lahat ng libro rito ay may QR codes— kaya kapag kumuha ka nang hindi nagpapaalam, good luck na lang sa ingay na gagawin ng scanner. Kung sakaling hihiram ka naman ay kailangan mo pang dumaan sa isa sa dalawang front desk na nakapwesto sa magkabilang bahagi ng gusali— may tig-isang librarian ang nakapwesto roon para dikitan ng maliit na sticker ang librong hiniram mo, nang sa gano'n ay ligtas kang makakadaan sa scanner.

Parang kaunti lamang ang pinagkaiba nito sa library ng aming eskwelahan dati, sapagkat ang mga bookshelves ay naroon din sa dulong bahagi pagkatapos mong madaanan ang mga pahabang lamesa.

Ang gusaling ito ay binubuo ng sampong palapag— bawat palapag ay mayroong dalawang front desk.

Dumiretso ako sa staircase na nasa gilid. Umakyat ako papuntang fourth floor dahil doon namin napagpasiyahang magkita.

Pumunta ako sa dulong bahagi ng mga bookshelves. Lumiko ako sa kanan at agad ko nang nakita si Greyson.

Napahinto ako. Gumuhit ang ngiti sa aking labi nang makita siyang nakahiga sa lapag. Ginawa niyang unan ang kaniyang bag at may librong nakatakip sa kaniyang mukha.

Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kaniya para hindi gumawa ng tunog ang aking heels sa tiled floor.

Umupo ako malapit sa kaniyang balikat.

"Baby, malamig diyan ba't dito ka natulog..." mahina kong sabi habang dahan-dahan kong inaalis ang librong nakatakip sa kaniyang mukha.

Napakagat ako sa aking labi nang masilip ko ang kaniyang mukha.

Bumukas ang mata niya at agad na hinawakan ang palapulsuhan ko.

Napasinghap ako dahil sa gulat at higpit nang pagkakahawak niya. Nabitawan ko ang libro kaya nahulog iyon sa kaniyang mukha.

Oh gahd. Sorry...

Inalis niya iyon gamit ang isa niyang kamay. Nakita ko ang pagkairita sa kaniyang mukha.

Nang makita niyang ako ang nasa kaniyang tabi ay nagulat siya. Lumuwang ang pagkakawahak niya sa aking kamay.

Napabangon siya. "Oh hell, I'm sorry, love... Hindi ko alam na ikaw 'yan." natataranta niyang sabi.

Natawa ako. "It's okay..."

Tinignan niya ang kamay ko. "Masakit ba?"

Umiling ako. "Hindi po." Pero nakita ko ang pamumula nito.

Bumalik ang tingin niya sa akin. "Sorry..." He kissed my wrist.

Tumango ako.

Saglit kong pinakatitigan ang kaniyang mga mata na ngayon ay may contact lens para itago niya ang tunay nitong kulay.

Hays, ayaw niya ring ipakita sa iba. He thought it would draw so much attention, and yes love you're right. Sino ba namang hindi mahuhumaling sa kagandahan ng 'yong mga mata.

Bumaling ang tingin ko sa hinigaan niya kanina. "Kanina ka pa nakatulog dito?"

He pursed his lips. "I don't know..."

Pinanliitan ko siya ng aking mata. "Huwag ka nang hihiga ulit dito, ha?" Tumango siya. "Malamig, baka magkasakit ka pa." dagdag ko.

Gumuhit ang ngiti sa kaniyang labi.

Sumimangot ako. "Why?"

Umiling siya.

Sumandal siya sa dingding at inaya akong tumabi sa kaniya.

Lumapit ako kay Greyson. Sumandal ako sa dingding at pinulupot ang aking kamay sa kaniyang braso.

"Baka may makakita sa atin?" wala sa sarili kong tanong.

He hummed. "Wala, dalawang linggo na akong tumatambay rito, pero wala masyadong nagpupunta." Nakita ko sa aking peripheral view ang paglingon niya sa akin. Lumingon ako sa kaniya. "Atsaka, lagi na akong natutulog dito kaya alam na nilang teritoryo ko 'to, do'n na lang sila sa iba."

Natawa ako.

Kapagkuwan ay muli akong tumingin sa bookshelf na nasa aming harapan.

Huminga ako nang malalim. I felt sadness.

"Why?" tanong niya.

He held my hand and intertwined it with his.

Umiling ako. "Wala naman, ang hirap lang magpanggap na hindi ako kinikilig kapag biglaan tayong nagkatitigan sa room."

I heard him chuckled.

"I know..." he said. "Ako rin naman nahihirapang 'di ngumiti kapag nakikita kita."

"Hmmm..." I agreed.

Kailangan naming ipagpatuloy kung ano ang naging buhay namin simula no'ng nawala si Clement, kahit na hindi naman talaga— para hindi makalahata ang ibang tao na may tinatago kaming katotohanan.

Ayoko rin namang makita nila akong masaya kaagad kasama ang ibang lalaki dahil alam nila na mahal ko si Clement, idagdag na rin na wala pang isang taon magmula nang ipalabas nilang wala na siya. Kasi kung ako rin naman, wala akong gana makipag-usap at balak makipag-close sa ibang mga lalaki. Of course, I would respect his death.

Hay nako.

"Don't worry, we'll figure it out on how we can sneak our kalandian." natatawang sabi ni Greyson.

I chuckled. "Yeah, we should learn sign language."

Tumaas ang energy niya dahil sa sinabi ko at nakaisip pa ng mas magandang ideya. "We can make our own sign language!" He was excited about the thought.

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa.

"Yeah!"

We both giggled.

Kapagkuwan ay tumigil siya sa pagtawa. Muli siyang tumingin sa bookshelf at pati ako.

"For the meantime, let's talk about something else."

"Hmm...okay..." sagot ko.

"How's your day?" tanong niya.

"Okay lang naman, nag-activity kami kanina sa accounting." Napatawa ako nang may naalala ako. "Tapos si Jhames ibang exercise sa libro ang nasagutan niya."

Napatawa siya. "Yong kaibigan mo sa room niyo?"

Tumango ako.

"Hindi ka naman ba nahihirapan na kaklase mo sila Lexy, Jaylor, at lalong lalo na si Steccy?"

Ngumiwi ako. "Nahihirapan— kaunti. Naiinis kasi ako bigla kapag nakikita ko si Steccy." I paused. "Pero nandoon naman si Jhames kaya kapag naiinis ako ay nakikipagkwentuhan na lang ako sa kaniya."

"Baka maging crush ka niyan ah."

Natawa ako dahil sa sinabi niya. "Baka ikaw ang maging crush niya." Napailing ako. "Hindi babae ang bet ni Jhames."

"Ohhh, okay..." he sounded like he figured out what I'm trying to say.

"Ikaw, kumusta ang araw mo, love?"

Hindi siya kaagad sumagot. Bumuntong hininga siya. "Well...nakakapagod mag-solve ng mga problems, pero kaya naman." he sounded tired.

Pinisil ko ang kaniyang kamay.  "That's okay,  love... Kayang-kaya mo 'yon. Ikaw pa ba? You're the best. "

Hindi siya kaagad nagsalita.

"Yes, of course. Future is my motivation, and you're in it, 'coz you're my future." I could tell that he was smiling because of his tone.

My heart melted.

"Kinikilig." pang-aasar niya. 

Pinigilan ko ang aking pagngiti. "Epal."

Tumawa siya. 

Hindi na ako bumawi sa pang-aasar niya at winala na lang 'yon dahil siguradong matatalo lang ako, kasi totoo namang kinilig ako.

"Malapit na foundation day. Nag-try out ka ba sa basketball?" tanong ko.

"Hmm...nope..."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin. "Why?"

Saglit niya akong sinulyapan at muling tumingin sa kawalan.

"I don't want attention." Tinignan niya ako. He smiled. "Okay na akong ikaw lang pumapansin sa akin." He winked.

Umirap ako. "Epal."

"Epal of your life." banat niya.

Palihim akong napatawa. Nakakainis talaga.

"Ikaw, sumali ka ba sa badminton?"

Umiling ako. "Ayoko, gusto ko nang mag-focus sa acads. Atsaka tinatamad ako."

Humigpit ang hawak niya sa aking kamay. "Are you sure you don't wanna join?"

Umiling ako ulit.

"You're being lowkey..." he said.

"I'm lowkey even before..." Tamad kong isinadal ang aking ulo sa kaniyang balikat.

"Mas lalo kang naging lowkey..." malungkot niyang sabi. "Alam ko na nagkakaganyan ka simula no'ng may nangyari sa akin."

You're right.

Natawa siya. "Mas lalo ka ring naging masungit."

Umirap ako kahit na hindi niya ako nakita. "Masungit naman talaga ako."

"Yes, pero mas lalo nga." paglilinaw niya. "Naalala mo no'ng nasa basketball court tayo? Sobrang sungit mo— parang ayaw makipagkaibigan."

I tsked. "Ayoko talaga. Tinatamad ako."

He giggled. "Ba't mo 'ko sinusungitan?"

Sumimangot ako. "Bawal?"

Pinisil niya ang aking pisngi. "Ang cute naman po ng baby ko..." pagpaparinig niya.

"Heh."

"Heh." panggagaya niya.

"Gusto mo ba i-drawing kita na masungit ang mukha mo?" pang-aasar niya.

Hinampas ko ang kaniyang braso.

Tinawanan niya lang ako.

"Porket magaling ka lang mag-drawing..." pagpaparinig ko sa kaniya.

"Buti na lang magaling ako mag-drawing." pamimilosopo niya. Nakakaasar talaga.

Kapagkuwan ay napaisip ako.

"Ba't 'di ka nag-Architecture?"

He hummed. He's finding the right words to say.

"Drawing, painting... that's my passion but I always want to be an engineer. Also, I want new knowledge." malumanay niyang paliwanag.

Kaya hindi na kami naging magkaklase ni Clement noong senior high dahil nag-STEM siya at ako naman ay nag-ABM.

Maya't maya'y naging mapanloko ang kaniyang tinig. "Sabi rin nila, para sa engineer ang mga accountant."

Napatawa ako. "Ewan ko sa'yo."

"Oh bakit 'di ka ba agree?" seryoso niyang tanong. Galit agad?

"Agree." bulong ko.

"Ako rin." bulong niya. "Pinanganak talaga ako para sa'yo."

Napailing na lang ako sa kalandian naming dalawa.

Pagkatapos no'n ay nanatili kaming tahimik. 

Isinandal niya ang kaniyang ulo sa akin. Nilaro ko ang kaniyang kamay at sinabayan niya rin 'yon.

I heard him giggled and it made me smile.

We didn't utter any word. 

We were both silent...but it wasn't awkward at all. I found it comfortable and calming...

After a long silence he spoke.

"Love..." malambing niyang tawag.

"Po?"

"Do you wanna hear a story?"

"About what?"

"About me."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What do you mean?"

"The things that happened when I was little." dagdag niya.

Napahinto ako.

Bumalik ang alaala nang magtanong ako kay Timothy tungkol sa nangyari noong nawala si Clement pero hindi niya 'yon kwenento.

"Yes, I wanna know about that..."

Saglit pa siyang napatawa. "I know..."

Hindi na ako sumagot pa at hinintay na lang ang kaniyang pagkwekwento.

"When I was little my name was Dominic Jacob Lee, I don't know if you can remember me—"

"I do remember you, at the veranda..." pagpuputol ko sa kaniyang sasabihin.

I heard his smirk.

Dami mo naging pangalan. And now, you're Greyson Alfred Lee but still you're my baby.

"Dapat kasama naman talaga ako sa pagpunta sa Germany, dahil nga napag-alaman ko na nag-usap ang dads natin na mabuti kung magkakasama tayong apat. Unfortunate to say— I'm not capable with the weather there so I was left behind." dismayado niyang sabi. "Sakitin kasi ako." dagdag niya pa.

Tinignan ko siya kaagad. "Bakit ka iniwan, ba't 'di na lang kayo nag-stay rito para magkakasama kayo?"

He took a deep breath. Hindi niya ako tinignan.

"Okay lang naman na naiwan ako para may kasama si grandma atsaka rito rin madalas si dad no'n kasama niya ang dad mo, to solve the case." paliwanag niya. "Timothy and my mother went to states so that my mom could inform your nanay and tatay about the details and for you to have a friend there, because we knew you've been into trauma."

Bumalik ako sa pagkakasandal sa kaniyang balikat.

Nahirapan talaga akong makipag-usap no'n sa ibang tao pagkatapos ng nangyari. Natatakot ako na baka may gawin silang masama sa akin, idagdag mo na rin na nabu-bully ako sa school.

"They've said that if you had someone you know and can communicate with, aside from your family, it would help you recover faster."

Humigpit ang hawak niya sa aking kamay.

"No'ng umalis sila dad para bisitahin kayo sa Germany 'yon ang mga oras na nahanap kami ng kung sino man. Isang buwan din silang nanatili roon. Hanggang sa sinabi ni grandma na umuwi na sila dad, hindi niya masabi nang diretso kung anong meron dahil nag-aalala siya na malaman 'yon ng mga naghahanap sa amin. She thought they could get us with our electronic devices, that's why."

"One day, we woke up because of the smoke. Nasusunog na pala ang kusinang bahagi ng aming bahay. Grandma knew it wasn't an accident." He took a deep breath to calm himself because of the pain. "We drove to our secret basement without any phones. We stayed there for a week."

"Suddenly my grandma decided to do an operation onto my eyes, I didn't know what was the reason before but she said it would help me to be safe, so I agreed."

Niyakap ko ang braso niya para maramdaman niyang narito lang ako sa tabi niya.

"That secret basement was built with equipment for medical purposes. She was an ophthalmologist. I remembered she told me that's why she took that field because of how human eyes are so precious that it should be taken care of." he giggled like he was proud with his grandma.

Kapagkuwan ay nagseryoso muli ito. "Kahit na matanda na si grandma no'n, her hands were still stable to conduct the operation successfully." Bumuntong hininga siyang muli. "After a month, grandma died..." he paused because of the sudden cracked in his voice.

Isiniksik ko lalo ang sarili ko at hinigpitan ang paghawak sa kaniya.

Tumikhim siya. "Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari pero paggising ko no'n nasa tabi ko pa siya natutulog. It was so unusual 'coz she always woke up early to prepare our breakfast, but that day she wasn't." He paused. "I tried to wake her up but she didn't response."

Sinulyapan ko siya. "Love, okay lang kung hindi mo na muna ituloy..."

He looked at me with his teary eye. "It's okay, love..." His smile brought sadness into my heart.

He kissed my forehead.

"Okay..." bulong ko.

Muli kong binalik ang pagkakasandal ko sa kaniyang balikat.

"I tried my best to bury her in our backyard. After that I searched for the paper she told me to keep and opened it in case I don't have her anymore—" his voice cracked.

Pati ako ay naiiyak. I can feel his pain.

"There was an address written on it. I took money and went there." Huminga siya nang malalim. "It was night when I got to the place, but then as I was about to across the street, I saw a black car waiting outside, there were guys who were guarding beside the front door. It made me hide to the trees. I observed. It took a while when three men came out from that door. I saw one guy putting his gun inside his jacket."

He cussed.

"That made me wonder what could've happened in there. I've waited 'til they were gone. I didn't go inside instantly, I peaked at the window..." he paused. I looked at him. "I saw a man lying on the floor, covered with blood."

Oh gahd...

He looked at me and the tears went down to his cheeks.

"They knew I would go there. He died because of me. I felt sorry for him."

Inabot ko ang kaniyang pisngi at pinunsan ang likido. "It wasn't your fault."

"Hindi ko na alam gagawin no'n hanggang sa nagpalaboy-laboy ako. Then one woman saw me, asked me where my parents, I told her I don't know. She asked me to follow her and so did I. I already knew where she was taking me because of the pin I saw on her shirt." He breath in. "She was working on an orphanage."

I hugged him and he hugged me back.

"I waited there for so long, wishing dad would find me..." He took a deep breath. "Pero hindi sila dumating, hindi nila ako nahanap hanggang sa may mga umampon sa akin pero binalik din ako..." That must have been hard. "Then one day, a couple adopted me and became my parents, who took care of me and treated like I was their real son..."

Still, I have unanswered question. "Paano mo nahanap sina Timothy?"

"Because of your brother." Napakunot ang aking noo. "Nang minsan kasi siyang magbisita sa bahay namin nakita niya ang mga luma kong litrato. He said it reminded him of someone, I asked who, then he said, his friend when they were kids." Natawa siya sa sunod niyang sinabi, "Then I asked again, what was his name, he said Dom. I was like, Dominic?"

Woah, what a coincidence.

No, everything happens for a reason...

He giggled. "Kung nakita mo lang ang itsura ng kuya mo noon sobrang gulat na gulat."

Napatawa ako nang mahina.

"He introduced himself and I remembered him. Doon na nagsimula na magkwento ako sa kaniya. That gave me hope to see my family again."

"May magandang dulot din pala ang kapatid ko." paloko kong sabi.

"Yes..." Kapagkuwan ay nagseryoso siya. "You're the one who made those possible, because if I hadn't met you, I wouldn't meet your brother too."

Humigpit ang pagyakap ko sa kaniya.

"I'm sorry for the things you've been through..."

He caressed my hair. "It's okay, love...."

I hugged him more.

"Kaya ka nagkaroon ng dalawang funeral..." I said out of realization about the thing he spilled before.

He hummed. "Yes. Though the first one was just a ceremony held by my family members only, they didn't make it known to the others because they still have hope to find me."

Napakunot ang noo ko. "Then what's the purpose of your funeral back then?"

He took a deep breath. "Timothy enlighten me with that. He said they've made that in case they couldn't find me anymore because I'm already dead. The ceremony would give me at least some peace if that was happened."

Thank God it didn't, because I wouldn't have met you if ever.

"But the second funeral made it clear that I'm already dead, I mean Clement..." dagdag niya.

Isinubsob ko ang aking mukha sa kaniyang dibdib.

"You're sad?" tanong niya sa akin.

Tumango ako. "It's so sad what happened to you, to your grandma, and other things..."

"Awee. Baby, don't be sad. It's fine..." pagpapaklma niya sa akin. "I know my grandma is in good place right now and she wouldn't be happy if she saw my girlfriend being sad right now."

I felt a jolt in my heart when he mentioned I'm his girlfriend.

I looked up to him. I pouted my lips.

He was smiling at me. "Don't be sad, love..."

"I know you're not okay... Do you want to get some ice cream?"

He chuckled.

"It would help to cheer you up..." dagdag ko.

"Your comfort makes me cheer up," Ngumiwi siya. "but sure, let's get some ice cream." He smiled more, yet still his eyes were sad.

I smiled to uplift the atmosphere. "Tara na, libre kita."

Napaatras ang mukha niya sa akin na parang nagulat. "Mukhang bago 'yon ah."

Sumimangot ako. "Baka gusto mong hindi kita ilibre?" pananakot ko sa kaniya.

"Joke lang, love! 'To 'di mabiro."

Nailing na lang ako sa kaniya. Tumayo ako at kinuha ang aking bag.

"Ako mauunang lalabas tapos sumunod ka, okay?" paliwanag ko.

He winked. "Sure."

Napatawa ako. "Kindat ka pa r'yan." bulong ko.

"Kinilig ka lang."

Inirapan ko siya tsaka naglakad palayo sa kaniya.

Epal talaga ang isang 'yon.

[Lexy's POV]

"Hermana." rinig kong tawag sa akin ng kapatid ko pero hindi ko siya pinansin.

Nagpatuloy ako sa pagpasok namin sa aming bahay, kakauwi lang namin galing school.

"Lexy." mariin niyang sabi.

"Qué deseas?" (What do you want?) casual kong tanong.

"Qué?" panggagaya niya. He seems annoyed.

I rolled my eyes.

"Do you really want to continue being like this with me?" Okay, he's really annoyed.

I raised my brow and looked at him. "Si, por qué?" (Yes, why?)

He nodded and laughed. "Oh!" He was sarcastic.

"Se trata de ella?" (Is this about her?)

Napangisi ako.

He laughed. "I'm right." he said confidently.

Napailing ako at tumingin sa ibang direksyon. "Kung pumunta na lang sana tayo sa Spain." bulong ko.

You don't know how painful it is to see her, remembering about Clement and to our friendship that died.

"We can't do that."

I looked at him. "Por qué?" (Why?) paghahamon ko sa kaniya para bigyan ako ng matinong sagot.

He didn't answer. He just stared at me.

I smirked.

"See? You can't leave because you're crazy about her. If you really wanted to leave, you will." I firmly said.

Umiling siya at tumingin sa ibang direksyon. "You know I can't do that. I need to protect her."

"Protect her?" I sarcastically said. "From who?" I chuckled. "From you?"

He looked at me sharply. His jaw was clenching because of what I've said.

"Kasalanan mo nga kung bakit nawala si Clement, tapos 'yan ang sasabihin mo!?" Hindi ko napigilan ang pagtaas ng aking boses.

My eyes went teary eyed.

"It's all your fault." Yes, I do blame him. "Everything that happened, it was your fault." The tears fell down on my cheeks.

"She's not the only one you've hurt, but also me!"

I loved Clement.

"Are you happy that she's suffering now from the pain you've caused!?"

He didn't utter any words but his tears dropped.

"If you didn't cheat on her, maybe you're still together, and things with me and Clement would turn out differently, and dad would even be here too. Maybe all that happened will never occur if you just didn't do stupid things—"

"I know! I know it's my fault!" I stiffened. "De puta!" He cussed. He turned around and held his hair because of frustration. "You know, nothing." mahina niyang sabi. He sounded like he had something I don't really know, and it's giving him a hard time.

I heard his sobbing.

It pains me seeing him like that because of everything I've said and did, but he hurt me more, more than he could ever think of.

Things would have been better if he didn't do stupid things.

If he didn't.

But he did it.