I've said that I'm a sociopath, and I honestly believe that, but I've been told it's because I too easily empathize with other people and being cold and bitchy is a defense mechanism to prevent myself from daily breakdowns.

I've said that I'm schizophrenic, but if that's true it's more of a mild annoyance than a disorder, like having OCD but instead of hearing voices telling you to jump from the third story food court balcony, you just like to have all the cereal boxes facing the same way.

I've  said that I'm not sexually attracted to men...

Hoo boy, buckle in.

I don't like the word "lesbian" because ever since the LGBT community began gaining traction in political and social circles, it's run amok until the L word is now packaged with a metric buttload of bullshit that I want no part of. They keep saying the acronym isn't strictly about sex, but then you attend a pride parade in any major city or show up at "Gay Days" at Disneyworld and that's ALL it's about. Then they want to drag kids into it. That's where it started for me.

I hate the idea of being reduced to one relatively minor facet of my being, forced to consider myself separate from the global population. I'm not so insecure that I need a designation to feel special. But it's worse that children, who are already confused about life, are being funneled into queer-or-not-queer categories, then exposed to concepts of sex that they shouldn't be worried about for another decade. If you want to give kids the freedom to decide then let them fucking decide. Give them time, don't push them to support your own agenda.

Saying shit like that apparently makes me problematic. 

If you demand to see my identity card, I check a shit-ton of boxes. Neurodivergent? Yep. A woman? Yes. Immigrant? Indeed. Queer? Probably. The list goes on. Then when I say something that should make sense, like:

"If you drop 10 men and 10 women in the wilderness, within 10 generations you'd have a civilization. If you drop 10 men and 10 trans women in the wilderness, within 1 generation they'd be extinct."

Suddenly none of those labels matter and I'm no longer welcome. That's because those labels only exist to give political and social weight to a very specific, homogenous worldview, which doesn't really give a damn about you or any of us.

I was surprised to discover that very few of the people represented by the acronym falls lockstep into the narrative. I know MANY of them because I speak out on issues I feel are important and I've had hundreds reach out to me. Subjects like keeping sexual divergence out of grade schools. Gasp! you say. How could you, especially considering what you are!?

What am I, then, apart from human? 

Yes, I prefer tits over dicks, but it's objectively abnormal. If you want people to accept your differences the first thing you need to do is accept and be ok with the fact that you're different. Instead, we surround ourselves with this convoluted identity, letting other people tell us what to think and how to feel, bitching all the while about how we're victims... then we have the audacity to "other" people who aren't like us, or who don't understand us, putting labels like "normie" or "cis" or other slurs intended to separate humanity into us vs. them.

To be fair, I use "normie" a lot, but I don't use it as a pejorative. I find it funny because I've never met a "normal" person.

But if homosexuality is baked in to typical human genetics, natural selection would have bred it out a million years ago because it inhibits procreation, which is the basis for natural selection's selections. Nearly every religion is diametrically opposed to it. Virtually every (if not every) great civilization that has reached the point of normalizing queerness has fallen soon after (don't misread that - I don't think it's  because queerness by itself is necessarily caustic, but normalizing, advocating, and promoting it absolutely can be). Over 40% of lesbians are abused in their relationships. Trans people are depressed because their genetics will always remind them they're not who they pretend to be. None of us are about to start shitting rainbows on this end of the scale no matter how much acceptance you try to force into the world at large.

It's atypical no matter how you break it down. So the fuck what?

I'm not internalizing homophobia, I'm not promoting hate toward the LGBT community, I'm not invalidating my own existence, I'm just stating facts. Are they facts that make life hard for some of us? Hell yes, but everyone has shit to deal with so instead of making people carry you around on an emotional gurney, you just learn to deal with it. You adapt and grow. If some people decide to change because life as a normie is easier, I say more power to them. Be fucking happy, just don't do it at someone else's expense, even if you, in your limited experience, believe they can afford it. 

This isn't violence. You can believe all this and still think harming gays because they're gay is wrong, it's just not a special kind of wrong. You're a criminal dickwad if you walk up to anyone and punch them because you don't like XYZ about them. If I had my way, harming anyone because of who they are would earn you a public beatdown. 

I will say that name calling is different. I was raised by elder gen-X, and I still live by the "sticks and stones" rule. Mean words suck, but that's easily addressed with mediocre coping skills, and if I can handle it without flipping out or jumping off a bridge, believe me, anyone can. They just need to know it's possible, and that there are people out there who love and care for them. What they don't need is to join an opposition army and start tearing down everything and everyone that ever made them feel bad.

I don't try to redefine the world to fit my existence, and that's been the one thing above all others that's helped to heal my psyche. I'm ok with being abnormal, and I don't need someone else to validate me. I don't need every third person to question their sexuality to justify mine. I'm not promiscuous, my private life stays private, so I don't have to sprinkle my sexuality on everything as though I require a specialized habitat. I don't need representation because I'm more than what's between my legs, and I find plenty in common with short people, redheads, bitchy sociopaths, and surprise, surprise... other humans.

There's a percentage of you who will automatically find this entry hateful, and forgive me for saying so but if you're one of them, you're part of the problem. You're the reason I refuse to apply labels and push back against them. You're the reason I feel compelled to write things like this. Identity politics is undiluted bullshit, and the world would be a much better place without it. On the other hand, if you're reading this, and you're breathing, and you're not running away screaming whether you agree with me or not, then you're my brother or my sister and you have my unconditional love and respect. Just don't twist the meanings of those words to try to control me, or ask me to advocate for everything you aspire to.