I'm getting help from my fam for this prompt.. they dont know that, they think im doin a mad libs or something smh

Words To Include In Writing:

Quintessential, Splendid

Scurried, Skipping

(if u guys wanna help a sistah out and leave some words to base a story around that'd be noice. At least 4, no more than 10 lolol)

I literally do not know. Enjoy??? THIS IS.... ODD. I broke the fourth wall

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Everyone knew that Peter didn't have the quintessential family life. Quite the contrary, actually, because Peter was *gasp* an orphan!

Yeah, yeah, no need to get mushy. He was an orphan, no doubt about it, and he didn't think to linger on the schematics of it all. 

Peter was wandering around the streets of Queens one afternoon after school, as you do. Or maybe you don't, who knows, Peter certainly didn't.

Why?

Because Peter was a certified, professional, grade-A, grass-fed Idiot with a capital 'I'. But, we all know that.

Maybe you didn't know that, but one glance of him skipping on down the streets and you'd know it. He radiated Idiot Energy.

(So did Captain America. In fact, a lot of heroes do. Hmm... maybe correlation does equal causation in this instance.)

Well, in any case, Peter was making his way downtown, not particularly fast, and it had been a long day for him.

But, spiders don't actually sleep, and apparently our local stupid-man was trying to embody who he was named after.

And that, my friends (are we on that level? Just readers? mkay), is why Peter Parker was jumping around in a dark alley trying to free his ankles from his pants, with the energy of a rabid chihuahua and the success of herding cats. 

He got his feet free eventually, but at what cost?

We don't have time to unpack all of it, so let's move on. 

Peter was pulling on his suit, finally, and his mouth stretched into a grin. 

"Hey, Karen, what've you got for me?"

Karen spoke tensely, as if acutely aware that despite of Peter's IQ, he lacked the necessary trait of common sense. "A robbery on 35th and 6th, Peter."

"Huh. I'm on 24th and 5th. How do I get there, Karen?" He knew, he just wanted this to play out. Did Karen curse?

Karen nearly sighed, and Peter didn't even program her to do that. "It's a grid system, Peter. Eleven up and one over."

Peter didn't wait for her to finish, he was already flinging himself across buildings and flipping past gawking onlookers. 

A bird? A plane? No! It's... oof, a bug on a billboard, apparently. Watch yourself, Peter.

Well, Peter got to the robbery, pretty fast for avoiding all the groups of eighth graders that he saw (hey, they're mean.).

He entered the shop, or bank, or whatever (don't ask Peter, he was just here to stop some baddies), and immediately, all weapons were pointed at him.

Peter held his hands up. "Whoa, hey hey hey, shhhh"

One of the guys squinted. "We haven't spoken?"

Shrugging, Peter shot a few webs. "Oh well? I don't know what you want me to say. I get nervous when guns are pointed at me."

No, Peter. You get nervous because there are people in general. You have anxiety, Peter. It's got nothing to do with the guns.

Peter, as usual, didn't care.  "Not funny!" He yelled as one of the thugs fired at him. "Like, seriously, dude."

This was clearly the robbers first rodeo. They were unorganized, had poor costumes, and frankly, their presentation needed help.

One of the smarter ones of the group knew that. "Scatter!" He screamed, running out the back door, only to be caught by one of the police officers. Peter got the rest, and before he knew it, Peter was already back on the streets.

He was humming as he flied through the air on webs as thin as my patience, and yet somehow just as strong. 

I mean, they kept him up.

Peter stopped some petty muggings, saved a few lives, and was actually enjoying himelf.

Ah, but life doesn't work like that, Peter! Not when I run it (Hey, at least I'm not framing you for murder). 

It started to rain, and Peter heaved a sigh before scurrying for cover. He dialed Happy's number, and a black car soon rolled up.

Happy rolled down a window. "C'mon, kid, before your dad loses his mind."

Peter got in, and stayed quiet so that the window thing separating him and Happy would stay down. That is, until the golden arches appeared on the horizon.

"McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!" Peter chanted, bouncing like a ball of that static-y stuff you get on TV.

Happy looked in the mirror, reluctantly pulling into the drive-thru.

Peter was cheering.

"Hi, yeah...uh, One black coffee."

Happy got his coffee, and kept driving. Savage.

It wasn't amusing to Peter, but he'd live (or would he????? nah haha jk). Peter got out at the Avengers Compound, where he was staying since May was off on a business trip.

Natasha greeted him in front of all the group. "Hey, Pete, wanna tell us about your day?"

Peter though about Flash. "Not unless everyone gets real cool about a lot of stuff really quickly."

Tony looked over and quirked a brow. "What do you mean by that, kiddo?"

Dashing off, "Nothing to stress over. I gotta go cancel some plans, bye!" He didn't really, but Peter needed some excuse to get out of that room. As it was, Nat probably didn't buy it, but never matter.

Once he was in his room, he was doing homework and choosing an outfit for the next day. 

"Oh, splendid," He said, "I've got nothing to wear."

Then, a flash of red caught his attention. There, lying on the closet floor, was a red and blue flannel. 

"Oh!" Peter's mood considerably improved. "I'll just pepper in some flannel this week."

And he did. He waltzed into school the next day, rocking that flannel. You're doing amazing, sweetie.

He entered his Language Arts class on that fine Wednesday, and they were talking about authors.

Peter raised his hand. "I think Emily Dickinson's a lesbian."

The teacher shrugged, "Partial credit."

They also had a test, and Peter stared down at in in dismay. He turned over to Ned, who had the same helpless look.

"I think 'I don't know' should be an acceptable answer." Peter mumbled as he gazed at his question like one of us might look at a small child that is pointing at us. 

The day went on, and he got a call at lunch from Tony. 

"Hey, kid. We didn't get to talk. You didn't get hurt last night on patrol, right?"

Peter thought about that one knife.... "No." He said, you know, like a liar.

"Good. Hey, talk to you later?"

"Sure Mr. Stark! Bye!"

As soon as school was over, Peter was bursting out of the doors and going on patrol. He found a robber, and a fight began. The punches were flying, and Peter was dodging them like a cat dodges being pet.

"Street Smarts!" Peter yelled, kicking the robber where it counts. 

You might have street smarts, Peter, but not much else.

He ran into MJ at a park, so they chatted for a bit. She wanted to know what he was doing for college, ever the responsible teen.

Peter scoffed. "College? I thought I would be dead in a trunk of a car with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now."

He yeeted off, rather than face MJ's wrath, and that is where our story ends. I could add more references, but I've got a request to write and this is already at 1300 words. Someone count how many references I stuffed in here, please? I think it's 15?

Bye! I'll remember you all in therapy.

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hey ummm check out my poetry? Ive spent a lot of time on it and im so proud... Its got stuff with loki, tua, the hobbit, shazam... Not to mention a deeper look into me.

Love you guys <3

FIFTY CHAPTERS LIKE HOLY MOLY GUACAMOLE YOU GUYS. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN???