Chapter 16

Harry sighed as he drew languid circles on Snape's chest. "I am only now just realizing that my marriage might have been more toxic than I initially thought. Was I really blind to so many red flags?"

"Do you want to talk about them?" Severus questioned, feeling a bit awkward about potentially private conversations like this.

"I guess. There were some instances that really stood out to me, now that I think about it." He commented.

"Lil's had really long shoulder-length hair, and Ginny would help her brush it and braid it every day. Calling her her little princess. But Lily was getting tired of the long hair as the weight was causing her some neck pain, so one Saturday morning, when Ginny was away for a friendly game of Quidditch with her local league, Lily asked me if I could take her to the salon for a haircut. She said she wanted it short. Of course, I asked her twice on the way if she was sure, but my baby girl was quite adamant. So she got it chopped off to about neck-length. The haircut looked really good, and I even bought her some new barrettes. Well," Harry sighed after taking a deep breath. "Ginny freaked when she came home and saw her daughter's hair."

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS THIS?!" Ginny shrieked upon seeing her daughter's new haircut.

"Do you like it, Mom?" Lily asked as she twirled. "My neck is feeling way better now."

"Oh honey, you were much prettier with long hair," Ginny answered, which made both Lily and Harry freeze. Their daughter looked shocked and a little hurt while Harry stood frozen at his wife's comment.

"Lil's, go to your room for a moment," Harry said, and once their daughter was out of earshot, he rounded on Ginny. "I cannot believe you just said that."

"I cannot believe you took our daughter to get her hair cut!" Ginny replied angrily.

"She wanted to! It's her hair!"

"She's nine! She doesn't know what she wants!" Ginny retorted.

"You are right. She is nine. She'll be off to boarding school in two years. If she can't make decisions by herself, for herself, then frankly, we've failed as parents." Harry shot back. "She has every right to want her hair a certain way. Gin, just what is it with you and hair? You had a fit when Al wanted to grow his hair out. You just called our daughter ugly because she cut her hair. If she doesn't like it, fine. It's a learning experience. She will grow it out if she wants to. It's just hair, Ginny."

"For Merlin's sake, Gin. She cut it to the same length you have it now. Why can you have short hair, but she can't?"

"I... eh..." Ginny stammered. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's not me you owe an apology to," Harry stated. "You just implied Lily was ugly. I think it is clear who you should be apologizing to."

"Ginny did end up apologizing," Harry explained. "A week later, it looked like they patched things up. Lil's looked fine when we dropped Al off at the Express."

"That wasn't the worst outburst, though. You should have seen Gin when she found Al talking to a garden snake. The kids were in the garden, I think it was a year before Lily decided on her new haircut. So probably 2016. Al's first year was 2018... so yeah." Harry thought for a moment. "So the kids were in the backyard, and Gin was in the kitchen while I was sweeping our porch. Then I hear this ungodly scream. I rush inside, then towards the back door, only to see Ginny freaking out, having grabbed Al by the upper arm and pointing her wand at this tiny green snake on the ground. Al was crying, and the snake was panicking, pleading even, because it knew what a wand was. Before I could respond, Ginny killed it. Al was inconsolable as Gin just tore into him. I had to physically drag her away. The things she said to her own son..."

"I.. Fuuuck..." Harry muttered. "I just. That day, everything was a mess. Al was crying because his mother killed his friend. James, whom I later learned tattled to Gin about the snake, looked contrite. Gin was calling Al evil, Dark, and an abomination. I managed to free Al from her grip and shot back, "If he's an abomination, then what am I?" Al ran to his room. Ginny just broke down. Later, she confessed to me that she'd had a flashback to her time under Riddle's control. How she just couldn't stand snakes or the language. Honestly, I was torn. She never told me this when we discovered I could still speak the language. Hermione told me it might have been some undiagnosed PTSD from second year. I just." Harry's voice broke. "When I asked her if she'd still love any of her children the same, even if they ended up in Slytherin... Because from her comments that day and her explanation, it had mostly centered around Parseltongue and the House itself. She couldn't answer, and that broke my heart because I knew Albus at the very least would be a Slytherin."

"Gin agreed to see a mindhealer, but that only lasted eight months. Al confessed to me later that the garden snake and he became friends a couple of months back, and the little creature was just curious. Asking why human hatchlings didn't look the same. I don't think Al ever forgave Ginny. He didn't even hug her goodbye when it was his first year."

"We sort of began pulling away from each other around that time. Ginny moved her stuff to the guest room over the coming months. We also became less intimate. The kids noticed but didn't comment on it except for James, who seemed to take his mother's side a lot. I generally don't like picking favorites amongst my children, but Ginny had no qualms about that. James was her favorite. They would have these little mother-son outings until Al was about three, when he could understand more. Maybe because James was born a bit premature and worried us to hell and back did she end up doting on him a bit more. But overall, she treated the children fairly.

"So, how did you end up in that ward room?" Severus then asked. "It seems your marriage was a bit rocky, but nothing that would warrant massive betrayal. At least, nothing I am seeing on the surface."

"Yeah, so, I might have asked for a divorce in November of Al's first year," Harry muttered. "But still,"

"A divorce?!"

"It's complicated!" Harry uttered. "A series of actions led to the decision. We sort of grew apart,"

"Explain,"

"Merlin, I never said this aloud to anyone," Harry mumbled while stroking the ridge of his nose. "In the first few years, the marriage was relatively great. We had some ups and downs. What couple doesn't quarrel? I forgot to empty the bins, she woke up late for an appointment. You know, small stuff. I was on track for Head Auror, Ginny became a stay-at-home wife who occasionally played in our local Quidditch league. It was her choice, by the way. She wanted to be like Molly. Said she was more than happy to look after the house and kids while I provided. You know, that stupid white-picket fence dream. The first thing that got me was our intimate life. It was active, quite active, but on Ginny's terms. I thought it was normal, but later, after talking to other husbands in the neighbourhood, I realized that I was hardly getting my needs met. They talked about mutual fulfillment, and I just stood there, mentally asking myself 'WHAT?!'. Later, I asked Gin if she wanted to experiment and try one of my fantasies. Upon hearing what it was, she got this weird and disgusted look in her eyes and then brushed me off. I know some ladies aren't into that, but her reaction to the suggestion made me stop asking then and there."

Snape was curious but said nothing while Harry continued. "After the snake incident, we really drifted apart. Ginny moved to the guest room, and our intimate life fizzled out. I later found out at a party that she'd been having an emotional affair with Dean Thomas. Could you imagine that Dean and I are casually talking at a party, and he asks me how my wife's doctor's appointment went because she was apparently worried about a suspicious lump. I'm just standing there, without an answer, because she never told me. Turns out she'd been confiding in her work colleague over me. When we made our vows, we promised to be there for each other, but that question just made me realize she was shutting me out. Her work colleagues knew more about her private life than I, her husband. I just thought, what am I even doing in this relationship? I am supporting a woman who apparently can't trust me with her worries. What am I doing wrong?"

"Me seeing Ginny and Dean so chummy, flirty even, I sort of lost it and kissed Neville, poor bloke, right in front of them," Harry confessed. "I, well... I... certainly made my preferences known. Neville was alright about it. He was the one who pointed out that Gin and Dean were acting more like a couple than her and me. He also ended up sending me a card later, thanking me for the smooch because apparently he found the nerve to confess to someone he liked."

Back home, Gin blew up at me. Calling me all sorts of names in the book, including unnatural. Apparently, I've been married to her for years, but didn't know she was a closet homophobe. My explaining that I am bi and actually lean more towards women didn't help. She basically made up her mind about my character. So by then, I was fed up with everything and just shouted, "Well, if you feel that strongly about it, then I want a divorce!" She stilled mid-rant, then just silently grabbed her coat and walked out. Two days later, I was jumped from behind and taken."