J U D G E: LORAINEJD

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W I N N E R

The Celebrity Slaughter by Pulchra_Aurum

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R E V I E W S 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ The Celebrity Slaughter by Pulchra_Aurum

Intriguing Factor: 12/15

Grammar: 10/10

Hook: 13/15

Distinct Idea: 8/10

Total: 43/50

Feedbacks and suggestions: "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

-Victor Hugo (Les Misérables).

I really like the quote you've included—it's a great way to begin the blurb.

Unwilling to face the same fate as her deceased co-starlets, she bands together with the only investigation team she trusts with such a matter just so she could put a stop to the madness once and for all.

I've read a similar book before with a somewhat similar situation, but this one is unique, of course. It makes me want to dive back into mystery books again.

However, her dogged stalker is at most a dispensable chess piece in a big game and amidst renewing bonds, unraveling lies and deceptive secrets, she soon comes to learn that she wasn't the Mastermind's main target after all.

This part really builds the intrigue. The hook is well placed here and makes it very interesting!

Great job! The length is just right, and the main character is well introduced.

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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Bound To The Seduction by Jiranipoa

Intriguing Factor: 11/15

Grammar: 10/10

Hook: 11/15

Distinct Idea: 10/10

Total: 42/50

Feedbacks and suggestions: The first line speaks volumes—I love it! Although I've come across many stories with a similar premise, this one still feels remarkable!

Betrayed by the men in her life, Sarah must come to terms with her past and learn to trust again in order to get the future she deserves. Will she give herself a second chance?

The main characters are introduced—the possibly seductive Henry and the seemingly brave Sarah. Both have endured heartbreak, and I can't help but wonder if Henry, the one who's supposed to break her heart, will actually do so. The questions you've posed only deepen the intrigue.

This blurb is captivating, especially for romance enthusiasts. Well done!

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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ A Dove's Tale by katiegoesmew

Intriguing Factor: 12/15

Grammar: 9/10

Hook: 13/15

Distinct Idea: 8/10

Total: 42/50

Feedbacks and suggestions: I suppose the blurb reveals a wee bit too much. It's a tad long and already provides detailed information about the plot. Shortening it slightly might heighten the intrigue and preserve the surprise—just a suggestion, of course. It's still amazing as it is, trust me.

All Ivetta wants is a steady paycheck and consistent hours. Her mother's health is failing fast, and she has to earn enough money to keep paying the mounting doctor's bills. But a dubious background means finding safe employment is hard. Getting a job as a palace maid seems like the answer she needs, even if she has a long commute.

Until she meets her new employer.

The royalty twist really piqued my interest here—it's a fascinating concept. The main characters and their descriptions are well-introduced, which sets the stage nicely. Great job!

Threats against Prince Chevalier become threats against Ivetta, forcing them even closer together. When the pain of loss overwhelms her, she turns to him. When the threats become reality, he'll do

At the last part, maybe you missed the period. That's it. Once again, great job on this amazing blurb!

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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ The Winner by thegreentraveler

Intriguing Factor: 9/15

Grammar: 9/10

Hook: 9/15

Distinct Idea: 8/10

Total: 35/50

Feedbacks and suggestions: Nate, Julia, and James. Who loves who? Who is worth the risk? Who is worth the heartache?

At first, I had a feeling this might be a love triangle romance. It's catchy, by the way.

Multimillionaire Nate Hollan would have never met her if it weren't for the contest, and Julia Moretti had no idea what she was getting herself into when she became the lucky winner. A contest that would change both their lives forever.

In the second paragraph, the lines about how their lives changed forever intrigued me. It gave me the impression that Nate might be the main character here.

The chance for Julia to fly across the country to L.A. from Boston to work with famous pop star Nate Hollan - despite a past life that follows her. The chance for Nate to learn what real love is, despite the baggage of his own past and his every move on display for the world to see.

For this, my suggestion would be to introduce that Nate was already a pop star in the second paragraph. Perhaps something like:

When Julia Moretti wins a once-in-a-lifetime contest, she finds herself flying from Boston to L.A. to work alongside world-famous pop star Nate Hollan. For Julia, it's a chance to escape her troubled past—but she soon realizes that stepping into Nate's world comes with its own challenges.

For Nate, whose life is scrutinized by millions, Julia offers a glimpse of something he's never known: a love untainted by fame or fortune. As their worlds collide, the chance for Nate to learn what real love is was opened—despite the baggage of his own past and his every move on display for the world to see.

Now, moving on to the next paragraphs.

Is Nate's lifestyle something Julia can handle, or should she go with her gut feeling and choose the safer option- James. The Polar Opposite who makes her feel the same things.

All I can say is poor James—he's just an option... kidding. However, it might be better to introduce a bit more about him to provide readers with some context. This will intrigue them even more.

With broken lives, broken promises, and a past that continues to haunt, Nate's future is on the line, and Julia's mental well-being is on the line.

James is mentioned in the first line, so I suggest he might deserve a little more spotlight as well. Overall, this is already amazing!

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*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Warriors: The Forgotten Promise by NatXWrites1

Intriguing Factor: 9/15

Grammar: 9/10

Hook: 9/15

Distinct Idea: 7/10

Total: 34/50

Feedbacks and suggestions: The word fawn immediately piqued my curiosity, leaving me eager to see how it would weave into the story. The storm clouds mirrored on the book's cover added a striking touch, capturing my attention at once.

"As storm clouds gather, a brave-hearted fawn shall shine through."

The second paragraph feels like it's missing a captivating hook. While mentioning her father is a start, adding more tension could enhance its impact. Here's a suggestion for reconstruction:

You might consider: Daughter of a rogue who committed a heinous crime—murdering a Clan deputy—Dawnkit must confront her demons and break free from the shadows of her father's sins. In a world where every step is judged, she fights to carve her own path.

You might also want to tease a bit about the Clan or the Clan leader themselves to spark curiosity. A wee bit of its importance or intrigue could draw readers in further.

Being the daughter of a rogue is hard, especially when his crime was murdering a Clan deputy. Everyone judges her wherever she goes... Everyone judges her every action... Dawnkit must fight her inward as well as outward demons to free herself of her father's shadow.

The sudden appearance of StarClan feels abrupt and leaves room for more clarity and intrigue. Is it connected to Dawnkit's Clan, the fallen leader's, or perhaps something else entirely? This ambiguity could benefit from a touch of foreshadowing.

The term kit was a bit puzzling at first, but after some internet browsing, I realized it refers to young, untrained kittens. For clarity, you might consider providing subtle context for readers unfamiliar with the term.

Regarding the line "The two kits must remain together to save their Clans from what is to come," adding a teensy bit of what's looming could heighten the suspense. Perhaps some trailer about that impending threat or a powerful prophecy to pique interest.

StarClan has destined two young kits as soulmates from the moment of their birth, much to Dawnkit's confusion. It has been prophecied in the stars, the two kits from different Clans must remain together and one of them must save the Clans from what is to come. But what if Dawnkit isn't ready for this? What if she doesn't live up to StarClan's expectations? The adventure begins... now.

I sense this story holds great promise. However, it needs a stronger hook and more intrigue. Provide readers with just enough information and teasers to spark curiosity—neither too vague nor too revealing. The goal is to captivate, as if declaring, "This is my book! It's extraordinary and worth your time. Dive in—you won't regret it!"

The length is spot on, and I appreciate the inclusion of content warnings. Well done! Thank you for allowing me to assess your work. Keep writing and honing your craft!

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