*Horatio PoV*

        I know it was never your intent to hurt me. You told me yourself, in the blasted note you left on my bedside table that was so covered in your writings that it was barely legible. I wish I could tell you that I didn't spend days deciphering that note, that I'd moved on like you thought I would have. That I'd eaten the food 'Phe tried to cook for me. That I'd stayed at Elsinore, ignoring the marks you'd left on this place, on me. Your penciled-in sketches still line the pages of the textbooks I left behind. I didn't mean to leave them behind, I just can't look at the reminders of you. I'm sure Ophelia took them for me, has them kept away someplace safe, in hopes that I will be able to look at them one day without sobbing. I hope she is right, but I fear that she is, for once, wrong.

Everywhere I turned at that place, you were there. Your name carved into the walls, your clothes in my dresser, the lingering scent of dust and pine that seemed to follow you wherever you went, no matter how long it had been since you'd last been back home. I couldn't sit at my desk without waiting for you to come behind me and wrap your arms around my neck and kiss me, no matter how many times I had told you not to disturb me.

Sometimes I think it was the hope that made me leave, not the memories of your blood on our floor. It is likely that I will never know.

Remembering you hurts. Recalling the good times has become more difficult. Unfortunately, the one I'd rather forget is the one that stays. I cannot rid my eyelids of the look on your face as you left us all behind. 

I refuse to hold anything against you, you'd know it's not my way. I never wanted to lord anything over you, my love, this especially.

Escaping you is proving ineffective. Even back home, I can't seem to forget you. Your voice cuts through my mind, especially the sleepy, scratchy version that shone through when you were too tired to stop it. I hear you everywhere, and I think I see you too. I'm sure it cannot be, but I am unable to stop the hope that clouds my mind when these things happen. I cannot stop myself from imagining the future we may have had, the millions of moments we would have shared, had I paid your mental state a bit more mind.

My lord, I do not believe I have the power to fulfill your final wish, as painful as it is to tell you this.

I just cannot bring myself to forget about you.

You were the only one, Hamlet.

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So, yeah...

Sorry

Don't blame me, it wasn't my angsty prompt. (Thanks, Mer)

As always, I hope you liked it.

Peace.