I tried to meet up with them after school but as I watched them from across the room, giggling with each other, I knew deep down that I would never fit in with them. Their long mousy hair was silky and smooth and their frames were naturally tiny and their smiles were bright and their voices were clear and if they tripped it was considered graceful and adorable. Still I trailed after them like someone lost in a dream, like a moth fluttering towards a light, knowing deep in her heart that she will be burnt and yet feeling uncontrollably drawn to the light's beauty nevertheless. I approached them and I tried to smile but as they turned to me in confusion my façade of confidence wavered and I asked, Why?

Why?

Why couldnt I be with them? Why couldnt I be like them? What was wrong with me?

As they turned and walked away, the questions swirled around in my brain like a dark, salty whirlpool, filling every crevice as it rose higher and higher, drowning out every other thought and leaving only the screaming question of "why?", the question that would never quiet, would never leave, would never be answered. I shut my eyes to keep the storm from leaking out.