.

.

.

NJ : You must be tired. Sleep well.

For the first time it appeared so to Seol Ah, that he directly put her question off. It took a second to register, but she eventually accepted it to respect his secrecy.

Noodles were soggy.

She frowned and quietly had it without any complaints for the cause was no one, but herself.

A day of paced down work, there was a rise in the graph once again as after a long time, Namjoon decided to have a concert for his new album. It was a year long project and was adored by him. Since, he put in all different shades of emotions, which painted in him in that length of time.

Moreover, he felt the high need to meet his admirers and perform for them, no longer keeping them in wait.

The fandom was in pure bliss of the much awaited announcement and patiently looked forward to the final day.

There was not a minute that Namjoon spared himself to rest. Vocal practices to sound good, work outs to stance and appear lively, food diets to have a perfect shape on the D-Day. Apart from that, he was having film projects for a music video he wanted for the title song-'말'(words)-alongside a concept photo-shoot.

It was the first time, he was shooting a music video for his solo albums and was a little unsure of the whole idea. Seol Ah, sharing her thoughts, further encouraged him into it. She shed light on its perk, that it would give his listeners a chance to get closer and connect to the sentiments, he had tried to emphasize in this album.

All these stressful and exhausting hours kept him barred and mostly outdoors, for quite a few days. And, could be roughly counted as weeks.

Until for the 'untils'.

There was an unforeseen rogue wave, that swum over in a flash of events and washed him all the way. His hopes, his plans, his confidence were drowned to suffocation by a news flooding all over the internet.

He was home at an unusual time and quietly marched to his studio. Paying no heed to his manager on the couch, who was talking to the reporters about the matter. While trying her best to handle the situation with the show producers and directors cancelling him out of their schedules, she noticed his arrival and followed his walk through her eyes with an obvious concern and worry.

In a while with the shower of calls coming to an end, she sighed although not in a relief. However, his worry replaced her discontent as she walked up to his studio.

His side profile was presented towards her, while he was looking straight at the empty guitar stand. His focused gaze were piercing it through, as he held an odious yet calm face.

The reason, he didn't have Kim bring the guitar to the stand, finally came to the surface. He feared another such happening.

SEOL AH : Are you alright?

NJ : Everything is dropped?

Seol Ah was a little perplexed if she should add more to his already upset day.
However, there was no point in lying or hiding the truth from him.

SEOL AH : Mostly, yes.

NJ : Who are left-

He was cut off as her phone rang again and Namjoon asked her to pick it up.

SEOL AH : (-over the call-) Yeh, Mr. Kwang? (-after a brief pause-) Yeh? We had a proper agreement on it-.. (-gets cut off-) But, Mr. Kwang~

She sighed silently as the call ended with the other line, giving her no space to argue or negotiate.

NJ : Now, the concert's off too?

Mr.Kwang was his sponsor for the concert. Fearing very less people coming to attend it after the news had surfaced, he backed out presuming a huge loss in that case. Ultimately, turning the concert off until a new sponsor came in.

SEOL AH : (-hating to speak-) I am afraid, yes. But, why is the world suddenly against you? I mean, it's not like you actually plagiarized.

NJ : (-turns the chair towards her-) Well, I don't have a proof against that too.

SEOL AH : But, that's your hard work. "Your" album. They should believe in you, if they claim to respect and support you.

NJ : Seol Ah-ssi, people believe in proven facts. And I don't have any.

Seol Ah's system ceased from getting any words against the debate, as she remained silent.

NJ : You see the handcuffs there? Bring it here and lock my hands. (-holds his wrists together-)

SEOL AH : (-flustered-) Yeh?

NJ : Do as I say. If you don't want to see the entire studio in that guitar's state, then do as I say. You remember that night, don't you?

SEOL AH : (-fearfully-) But-

NJ : NOW!

Seol Ah flinched at his exclamation and reflexively moved her body, to follow each of his instructions with absolute accuracy.

Never in her wildest of dreams, had she thought of the handcuff's usage being-to pitifully lock him from a destruction.

There was fear, nervous gulps, worry and a clueless mind of his next action, as she locked his wrists together.

NJ : No matter how much I say, you must never hand me the keys tonight.

Seol Ah's brain immediately countered of having no information about any kind of key in her custody. However, she was too nerve wracked to utter a word to him then.

His folded sleeves gave the perfect visuals of the bulging veins in vex. The sharpness of his jaw with thinned eyelids of rage, scarily visible to Seol Ah, made her heart thump in fright.

NJ : Also, go to your room and try not to come out. (-looks away-) Go~

He revolved his chair, facing her back as he leaned his head on the rest. He was trying to keep himself calm.

By the sounds of the door closure, he withdrew his head from the rest. All the good and positive thoughts, he was hardly trying to hold on in his mind, went suddenly out of grip. The indignation was weighing heavier with each passing second.

It grew harder to sit himself on the chair as he fiercely walked around the studio, taming himself obnoxiously hard not to touch any stuff.

Nothing in his room felt ever so tempting to be messed up. The pulses in his nerves were rocketed at the aggravation, building up inside him.

A claim that was too evidently false but had no ways to be proved so, was something he was unable to consume sanely. Being it from an artist from SK entertainment alleging Namjoon's plagiarism, further added to his offence and affront.

He regretted ever considering to join SK entertainment. And even more, that the enthusiast, he was, had shared his ideas about the very album with the PD, prior to their contract.

His one innocent move from a year ago, proved a great deal of advantage to Seong PD in the present.

Namjoon's tied hands, now without his conscious will, landed on the book shelf.

It was too late.

A series of books, crash landed on the ground within seconds. And the inexplicable amount of control one could master on, was set an example as he intertwined his own hands ‐ stopping himself from going back to the shelf.

He mentally dragged himself out of his studio. Palms now, growing numbingly pale, he let loose of the strain. Only for them to be scarlet red, with the sudden rush release of blood streams into his hands.

The frustration and the extreme tussle with himself, was prominent from his deliberate tries. His desperate attempts-to control his overflowing and wild raving arm strengths.

Breaths rhyming uneven, he attempted to knock at Seol Ah's door. Only to have slammed on it and almost in the verge to lose his body. Sweat glistening his forehead and dripping wet a few clusters of frontal hair, he looked hideously exposed and weak.

Seol Ah came to his rescue without any waste of seconds and was completely pale struck to witness the state he was in. Minutes apart, from the time she has left him in his studio.

NJ : (-breathlessly-) Ke-keys, keys.. Give me the keys. (-almost drops-)

Seol Ah immediately wound her hand to support him - too heavy to take his weight, he managed himself tossing her hands away.

NJ : K-keys! Where did you hide them?!

SEOL AH : I-I don't know, where they are. I am sorry~

NJ : KEYS!!

Namjoon slammed hard on the wall next to her door, making her take a few steps back in raw fear.

SEOL AH : (-trembling voice-) I- I really don't know about the keys. I don't have them.

She tried to sound as genuine as she could in the dreadful situation with faint tears, sparkling in her eyes. Namjoon, lifting his head, matched his ire and agony filled eyes with her softer and terrified ones.

Her moistened orbs made Namjoon, try his hardest to pull back from her vicinity and drag himself somewhere away.

Centering a little strength to his conscious, he walked himself out to the artificial garden and locked the glass door from outside.

Seol Ah followed his steps and was grieved to an extent, she felt mournful to watch him- pathetically imprisoning himself in his very own house.

He was literally thrown at the chair under the shade, as he cupped his head with his tied hands, trying to stay together.

The fuming umbrage made him even more breathless. But, it also gave him a strange strength, just enough to blast off his entire residence.

Seeing his pains and his struggles, Seol Ah had no controls over her tears as they sneaked out slowly. She had never known to be witnessing an image of this one day, working for some Mr. Black she thought was utterly rude and heartless.

Namjoon endlessly tried to worn himself out of any strength, he has built up. By throwing kicks and punches. Trying to undo his handcuffs apart with force. And every possible way he could make himself exhausted.
Nevertheless, such failed attempts only brought the side of his wrists to bleed, against the friction of the metal cuffs.

Nothing seemed to bring the slightest relief to his heart.

The frenetic atmosphere he set outside was too formidable to look at.
Seol Ah, out of an endurance to take his visage, ran to her room with a muffled mouth to prevent making any sounds.

She was blank.

Despite having a core need to help him, she found herself impuissant and at no position to aid his wounds.

A thing that she was suddenly prompted with, she began to ruffle every panels of her memories and every sheets in her room, searching for‐the keys. What contradicted her actions was that, she clearly remembered of having no keys in her charge, let alone hide them.

While at the bedside cabinets, she was distracted by a call in her cell and rushed towards it.

It wasn't of any saved numbers, but from one she had by-hearted the digits of by now. Ever since that brief meet, Seong PD persistently dialed her to get her to chat for once. It was apparently for 'Namjoon's betterment'.

She never gave any heed and ignored it like every other time, as she resumed searching for the keys.

However, she was stopped again. This time by a soft cry, perceived from the outside.

Careful enough, she lifted the curtains just enough, that gave the complete view of the artificial garden.

Her insides withered in sorrow, getting a sight of the current Namjoon. Body leaned forward, elbows resting on thighs- supporting his buried head in his blood stained palms.

Frightened, defeated, desolated and lamented were mere words, that did no fair to his actual facade. He was in his peak vulnerability.

Seol Ah immediately shut her view off him and sat on the ground on the near end, leaning to her bed. In an attempt, to be far away from listening to his tears, that he might be deliberately trying to suppress or hide from her.

Nonetheless, not a completely sealed window, it brought his prominent wails to her, inevitably.

People who cry less are often the best weepers.
They hold the potential to cry for hours without a hitch in their voice, grieving over a pile. A mountainous pile, that has been building up till the threshold is reached and the dam is released.

Seol Ah, infectiously, bawled her eyes at his melancholic yowls. To restrict herself from the same, she tried listening to songs with the ear pieces and played something random.

Even the random is well-planned for the earthly, the believers say.
The cellphone she was allowed to use, had the only songs she had been listening to, ever since she became his manager‐ his solos. For a matter of fact, their lyrics helped her a lot in understanding Namjoon, explore him and the kind of pneuma he was.

"All I want is me. I know I know I know"

The moment this very line hit her ears in his heavy soothing voice, the melody felt ever so painful.
The words correctly describing his current state and his sobs still faintly reaching her, slowly pooled her eyes.

"At times I'm disappointed with myself"

"Honestly, I trample myself"

"Being out of place, it's so painful"
It's unknown unless experienced by oneself"

"My Ideal and reality-
They are so far apart"

"All I want is me, I know I know I know"
But why do I feel lonely"

"I feel so lonely when I'm with me
I feel so lonely when I'm with me"

Each line worked as a catalyst to her tears and she was brought to a sob, moments apart.
Contrarily, the one muffling the sounds to reach out of the boundaries of her room.

Namjoon, being hysterical, poured his heart out weeping and crying out unconsciously loud‐the only means he was spared with to release the tethered knot.

Further, an off season rain shower accompanied them with its pour. As if, nature have lent them a hideaway to sob the tears in comfort, not fearing anyone to listen to their weaknesses.

"All I want is me, I know I know I know"

"All you want is you, you know you know you know"

"All I want is me."

The dawn after arrived calm and clear, against the contrast of a recent dark storm. Although, the pour left the creases and stains of last night. Seol Ah washed her face afresh of them, while she did her morning routine. The keys now, lied on the bed table next to her phone on charging.

In a few minutes, she quietly headed out of her room, looking around. Although already had a primary aim to his studio, to check on him.

But only to stop in the hall, finding him asleep on the couch. Her gaze straight went to his blood stained hands, now dried out and lighter in intensities, as if attempted to wash them.

"I am sorry to find this too late," she quietly muttered while staring at the keys on her hand.

With a first aid kit placed next to her, she sat on the floor to his locked hands. They were stretched out in the air. The only way, he could comfortably rest them on the couch while sleeping.

She began with unlocking the cuffs and gently dabbed off the stains with a soft wet cloth.

Namjoon was awake by the stinging sensation of the cloth against his cuts. However, he held them from coming to his face as he restfully stared at Seol Ah, casually wiping his hands. She was unbothered even though was fully aware of him woken up.

NJ : (-raw morning voice-) You found the keys.

SEOL AH : (-not looking at him-) You should've told me about them before.

NJ : I did though.

SEOL AH : Oh yes, of course you did. "Hide the silver box somewhere secure, without looking into it unless you want to be fired, the next moment Black learns about your knowledge about it." And I thought you were vague about this.

She didn't care about the warnings (in the manual) anymore, since she had already secured herself from getting fired. Besides, with his hands in that state, nothing could actually stop her from violating any rules, if needed. That was humanity, she tried to keep her motives clean.

NJ : (-chuckles as he sits himself-) If I wasn't, you might've handed me the keys last night.

Seol Ah, totally ignoring his words and satisfied with her wash, kept the cloth on the table before Namjoon spoke up again.

NJ : (-seeing her aim for the first aid-) I will do the rest.

SEOL AH : Be careful, the one here (-pointing at one side-) is quite deep. You might have to plaster it around.

NJ : (-notices it himself-) Alright. I will do it.

She faintly smiled as a response, trusting him with it. His engorged eyes reminded her of his dolorous sob from last night. And her smile slowly faded into a concern.

SEOL AH : But, is there no way you can prove your innocence?

NJ : (-after a brief silence-) Why do I have to prove it?

Seol Ah felt a shutter fall on her, with the depth and hurt he pronounced those words to her. He, carrying a careless smile, marched to his room leaving her in a guilt for asking the question.

______

Pt. 2 will come out around 9p.m KST ;)

Both parts will be considered as one update so rest assured. There is still the 2nd update coming its way another Sunday!

AND!

Stream MONO!

Song credit : Uhgood by RM.

Behind the scenes :

She stared at the empty seat where Namjoon sat every time. Waiting for a few more minutes, she had her dinner for she hated to waste the food that earlier Kim had brought upstairs for them. A routine, that figured itself since the last few weeks of Namjoon coming in, at late hours.

She didn't move Namjoon's meal from its place and walked back to her room after a while. With her door closing, his door opened in a sync as he was unable to stay in close confines, although his room was generously spacious.

In that moment, no space was big enough, no sky was high enough. Land and above was virtually crushing him flat.

****