I have ordered my new microphone. Should be here Sunday. I like that Amazon delivers on Sunday. You'd figure they would take a break like the regular mail, but no. People need their consumerist goods!

I need a microphone. Like actually.

I was going to write about something yesterday but didn't. I found another audio porn maker who tags her recordings as M4F but I immediately clocked her as transfem. I will write it as transfem and autocorrect will fucking take it no matter how much it tries to switch it to transfer because that's what a lot of folks are calling themselves now.

Then there's the flip side, transmasc. That's me!

Anyway, she tags herself as male in roleplay. It's evidently for practicality so people actually click onto her audios and listen, which look, I can respect. I'm not going to be weird about it. But while she has sort of a deeper voice, there's something about the quality of it that I picked up on right away that I can't even express.

For one she sounds like a nerd. I mean, pot kettle. Everyone likes their own brand it seems. But beyond that, I don't know what it is, I can just tell. It's not the first time I've seen a M4 tag and clicked on the audio and immediately could tell they were transfem.

I clicked on her Reddit profile and what did I see? She/her in her bio. How many times do I have to be right?

Her audios are hot. I think I'm quite literally addicted.

I'm pretty good at spotting other trans people, even through hearing their voices, perhaps even especially. It might not be socially correct to say this but I don't give a fuck. I know how to spot my own.

There's a trans guy at my grocery store who stocks the liquor. I can immediately tell, he doesn't have to wear the rainbow pin. But you can't just walk up to someone else and say that you know because that would be really super creepy and weird.

And then like what else do you say to that? Wanna see my Blahaj collection? God I wish I had a shark plush collection. I know all Blahaj are sharks and not all sharks are Blahaj and you can only get the original in IKEA which is not in stock here much to my chagrin. 

What was I saying? Oh yeah, so pretty much even if someone else is trans, so what? Doesn't automatically mean you'll be friends. I mean you could be but I don't know. I don't even know how to talk to people, period.

I could say, nice pin. But what if he thinks I'm being sarcastic? I don't know. I'm not into making friends with the guy who stocks liquor at the grocery store. He'd probably think there's that guy again, oh no, why do I have to say hi to this guy every time he comes over for a bottle?

I could wear a pin, I guess. What would even be the point in that? Announcing that I'm here and I'm queer get used to it? I mean I'll do it. I can get one off of Amazon. Yeah that's what I'll do. Don't expect to make any friends like that but I like knickknacks. 

I'd hide it from my family. Maybe I should stop hiding it from my family. What are they gonna do? Kick me out? If they were gonna do that they would have done it a long time ago. I think we have this avoidant trait in the family that makes confrontation really awkward so we settle for resignation.

Resigned, huh? Just how some people like 'em.