｡･:*:･ﾟ★TW: This is just 3000 words of smut,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Cassian

Isabella had woken up early, barely having slept three hours but some deep motherly instinct had her mumbling about being with her son. He had attempt to follow but was soon crushed by a gentle shake of her head.

She needed to be with her son.

He understood that.

Didn't really like that though.

He and Azriel lay staring up at the ceiling, both awake and listening to Isabella's quiet footsteps as she moved down the hall. Unfortunately Azriel had soundproofed his room so they were soon left in silence.

It was the first time the pair of them had been alone together since the cabin. Since they– a blush burned at Cassian's cheeks, unable to stop himself from remembering what they did.

"Cassian." Azriel's voice was low and husky, full of warning. He loved it. "Go back to sleep."

"Where did you go earlier?" Cassian rolls over to look at his... lover who blinks back at him in what could be described as confusion. It was false, Cassian knew him better than that. "You left Isabella and I."

Why did you leave the most important people in your life? He hadn't gone to Oliver because that would be an easy, explainable answer.

Azriel sighs, shoulders tensing for a second as he rubs at his forehead.

"I spoke to Rhys about..." He trails off, clenching his jaw and Cassian does his best to connect the dots.

"About Isabella staying here? With us." He suggests, trying not to sound hopeful at the idea. "At least for a few days that is, while they get settled in."

"No but I think that's the general assumption."

Cassian frowns, fighting the tired fogginess of his brain as he observes how tense Azriel has become.

"We spoke about earlier." He eventually confesses, eyes darting nervously to Cassian. "When I was drunk and–" He waves his hand and Cassian winces at the implication. "Exactly."

"How did it go?" He sounds hesitant to his own ears and Azriel sighs once more. "That bad?"

"Not necessarily bad," Azriel stares up at the ceiling as he continues to think through his words. "More, not what I intended to say. I don't think my apology came across the way I wanted it to."

Cassian frowns, feels a soft weight press down on his chest at the two brothers fighting. He never liked when they fought. It made him... sad, small. Reminded him of another life, before Rhys' mother took him in and showed him a new one.

"Hey," Azriel calls, voice soft. "Where did you go?"

Cassian hums, shifting closer slightly till he can press his head into the side of Azriel's neck. His Shadowsinger doesn't hesitate to curl a hand around the back of his neck, cradling him against his chest. A soft purring quickly fills the air as Azriel begins to sooth him, sensing where this is going.

"Rhys and I aren't really fighting, Cas." He soothes and he nods helplessly against his chest. "What's got you on edge?"

He doesn't answer, too overwhelmed as the weight of the day catches up to him. As the horror of nearly losing his mate and son. Not even that, because he can rationalise that. They weren't truly in harm even if his fear didn't know that.

No, the mate bond was still all twisted up inside him.

Warping him out of shaping as that once rage fuelled fog descends over his mind now full of punishment and loathing. The drawbacks of bonds are rarely talked about. With overwhelming responsibility and a need to protect the withdrawal can be brutal.

If the bond isn't satisfied it punishes the mate, reminding them of what could have happened. A burning punishment that can form itself in physical pain and depression.

Cassian it seems has been cursed with a heavy weight on his chest, full of his failures as his mind screams out everything that could have and did go wrong.

He doesn't register when Azriel sits up, letting Cassian rest his head on his lap as he reshuffles the pillows behind him. The shadowsinger seemed to be prepared not to get much sleep, content to just sooth Cassian till he was back to normal.

"Hmmm." Azriel is still purring as he shifts his legs to fit around Cassian, cradling him between them. "A quiet evening– or rather morning, I see,"

It's not often that Cassian gets like this, the mate bond clearly brought it on, but Azriel has seen him like this a few times. Moments where Cassian would let him help and then open up to him while they were... together. And others when they were just friends, Cassian had let him help in some small ways that provide a fraction of the comfort that he would receive when they were together.

He certainly never opened up. But now? Now that they were starting over, or starting over mentally– not physically.

The purring and contact had warmed him up, made him feel soupy, soft, warm. For a moment he just stares up Azriel, at the... boyfriend he is still amazed to have. He could hardly believe it.

He had intended to talk with Azriel, to try and open up and discuss themselves instead of Isabella. But then his throat had closed up and he was asking Azriel questions instead. It was hard to talk freely with the person he had once called brother. He had never really thought of him that way, not like a blood relation, it had always been a whimsical way to describe the three of them. A label that bound them together as equals.

He had always needed a reminder that Azriel was his, that he could talk to him without judgement. A reminder that he was his.

Soon Cassian's eyes fall shut and a soft sigh falls from his lips. He was safe. He was in Azriel's arms, his mate and son were curled up safe in the room over. And he had the hard heat of Azriel burning underneath him.

Azriel brushes the pads of two fingers along his cheek, angling underneath his eye towards his mouth. Tracing the corner of his mouth, the pout of his bottom lip, a gentle press until his mouth fell open. His eyes fluttered before closing again. Pliant, warm...

Until Azriel moved away. Creating a space that felt vast and cold, letting in light and forcing Cassina to separate into fragments–

"Love," He murmured, "I need you to answer a question."

He doesn't know when he started staring at those hazel eyes, basking in their steady warmth. Always so calm and controlled, always even. It was keeping him anchored despite the storm around them.

"Cassian," He tried again. "Tell me a colour."

Oh. Colour. He could do that, that was easier to do, less ambiguous. Of course Cassian could answer that, he rarely stopped talking. It was easier this time, picturing Azriel and the question he wanted answering. It was easier for Cassian to find the words on his tongue.

"Green."

Though Azriel's face remained blank his eyes burned with delight at the answer. A soft kiss was pressed to his cheek, a thank you that had Cassian shuddering. He rolled over to his side, still between Azriel's legs but not able to rest his head against a solid thigh as he peered up at the male.

Azriel dragged a scarred hand through his long hair, tugging at it gently till Cassian's mind and vision cleared.

"Cas, I need you to be good for me."

He tilted his head, staring openly. He could do that. That was achievable. It wasn't something like keeping Isabella safe when there were so many threats, or stopping Azriel and Rhys from fighting when he didn't even know the full extent of the problem.

No, it was doable. Azriel knew what he was doing. He knew how to handle Cassian. He would ask him something he couldn't do.

"I want you to kneel for me, love."

See? He could do that. That was easy to do. Cassian could stumble off the bed and kneel into the floor, letting the soft thick rug bury him and trap him there forever. If Azriel wasn't holding onto him uncertainly, sitting him up.

"I want you to kneel before the armchair for me, love."

Once Cassian got moving it wasn't that hard to do, it took little effort to walk in a daze towards the now slumbering fireplace that soon crackled with warmth at a flick of Azriel's power.

He could feel the rug between his toes, he wiggled them before melting down onto the plush rug. Cassian dragged his hands across the floor, feeling the soft texture of the rug as he heard Azriel move around him.

Azriel was no doubt selecting a book as per their tradition. Sometimes he would work on reports, read books or read something aloud for Cassian. Either way, Azriel kept himself busy so Cassian wouldn't be bothered by the pressure of his attention.

Cassian felt his head grow heavy, rolling forward to press-

Azriel's knee, the warmth of blood and flesh creating a hard background against the soft fine hairs. He tilted his head, eager to nuzzle his cheek against the soft flesh, craving the closeness.

A hand wove its way into his hair, pulling his head away and angling his face up. The soft touch of fingertips brushes against his eyelids.

"My sweet love, you're doing so good. So obedient and good for me."

A thumb nudged against his jaw, pushing and opening it easily. Azriel dragged his thumb across the texture of his tongue, pulling back to cradle the side of his mouth again. For a second he just sighs, watching Cassian before two rough fingers dip into his mouth.

They stare there and Cassian closes his mouth around them, humming slightly. Azriel strokes his tongue slowly, barely moving but just enough to keep Cassian's mind humming.

"Can you hold me, love? There's no need to move or work, just stay here and keep me warm while I read."

Of course. That was easy, he had done it before. Just while Azriel reads, just be good, just keep him warm.

The hand in his mouth pulls out, tugging his mouth open a fraction wider as a hand threads its way into his hair. He guided him forward until Azriel was filling his mouth. Always a sensation worth basking in, savouring the hot heavy weight that filled his mouth, focusing his mind.

"That's it, love. How delicious you look like this, with your lips on my cock."

He shifted on his knees a bit, hands clenching as he angles forward to finish the job. He takes it all, easily holding him after decades of practice. This was always his favourite way to relax.

"Stay still, my love. No working, just holding."

His eyes stayed closed, his cheek resting on Azriel's thigh as he drifted.

He wasn't unaware what was happening, he just didn't bother to acknowledge it. He had no reason to perceive it any particular way. No need to analyse every gesture or movement. His focus didn't need to be anywhere but on Azriel's hot cock in his mouth, firmly pressing down on his tongue.

That's where his attention stayed, on the press of his knees against the rug, on his cheek pressed into Azriel's thigh, the hand crading through his hair at a glacial pace.

Cassian's hands tighten, fisting the soft fabric of his sleep trousers. He let's go, fingers flexing as he tips his head up and shoving his nose forward into the coarse hairs at the bottom of Azriel's belly.

In seconds there were two hands in his hair.

"Easy. No, love. I'm reading and need you to be good for me."

Azriel anticipates the flutter of guilt that builds in Cassian's chest, quickly smoothing his hands across the back of his head. His hands slide underneath Cassian's shoulder length hair, dragging across the strong column of his neck and down to his shoulders.

Cassian moves easily with Azriel's guiding hand, tilting and shifting back until he's pressing his tongue up against Azriel's hardness. He can taste more now, choking a little less and his brain quiets down.

He doesn't mind this. Smells like Azriel, mixed with that deep musky scent that he has only just recently got reacquainted with. He can feel spit dripping down the side of his chin, falling from his lip.

One hand presses down on his own crotch. He's suddenly aching, burning with need as his other hand reaches up to gain the alluring pull of Azriel's attention. It's quickly clasped, a thumb rubbing at the back of his knuckles before being brought to the side of his leg.

It's just as warm and real as the rest of his shadowsinger. Azriel is still resting his hand over his, holding it against himself like it means something.

Cassian will leave Azriel to put that meaning into words, he's always been the best at poetry.

His eyes open. There seems to be fingers prodding at his face. Scratching at his scalp till he purrs with content. The fingers slide under his chin, dressing and suddenly he's sharply inhaling, gasping, open mouthed as he feels spit run down his chin, dropping onto his collarbone.

He blinks, feeling wetness all over his face and looks up at Azriel. He's always there, strong and sturdy. A lighthouse when Cassian is lost at sea. He was almost built for this role, bred for it, a caring protector. The perfect defender, no matter what a killing machine he sees himself as.

It's Azriel that leans forward, cradling his head with rough palms before he falls apart. Lifting him up into an embrace before shuffling them both to the bed.

"You're the most caring person I've ever known," He's whispering as they curl into one another under the covers. "You're so good for me, so caring and strong. But you don't need to be strong here. Not after everything you have done for us, for Isabella. You kept them safe, my love, you showed them a better life and stood by their side as they reached for it."

Cassian exhales shakily, letting words settle like rocks dropping into a still pond.

"You did my love. And you were so good for me... Good boys get rewarded, let me show you how good you were." He's tipping Cassian back onto the sheets, pressing them into Isabella's bed. Temporary bed but the thought is effective at creating a burning heat.

"Give me a colour, love." he murmurs into the skin at Cassian's belly, breathing hot air across his navel and drawing a shiver from deep in his soul. "Cassian, colour, my love." Strong eyelashes and light hands brush across his skin, keeping him together.

"Cassian."

He opens his eyes.

"What's your colour?"

Cassian blinks.

Easy, it's always easy with him. To trust, to give up control, to give him anything he ever wanted.

"Green."

Rough palms sweep up his torso, catching his nipples and drawing a gasp from his throat. It echoes in the quiet of the bedroom. Azriel's mouth is hot. Each move, suck and brush of his tongue is demanding.

It's the rough pad of his tongue dragging across his ribs, dressing into the crease of his thigh, the hands that he lost track of tighten against his hips, lifting him up the bed as Azriel sinks down.

Cassian flexes his fingers through Azriel's messy hair as his toes curl and his head ends up exploding.

Azriel is a master at giving head. He never fails to drive him crazy in seconds. The task is made easier when his wandering hands are replaced by cold shadows that burn against the heat of his skin as they explore the flat expanse of his chest.

Cassian's brain is going to melt out of his ears at the way Azriel is peering up at him. He's always been astounded by the way he looks, those supple lips that slide down the length of his dick. He looks like sin given flesh. A siren or harpy waiting to kill him and drown him in the warm summer court waters with the strength of his eyes alone.

He is drowning. Completely drowning. Cassian doesn't need a reason, even though it baffles him that it never makes sense. How he feels so utterly devastated by a single look from Azriel as he pulls him apart till he's hollow and gasping.

He's kissing him and the noise filters back in slowly. Once more Cassian can hear the soft sound music fluttering in through the window from the streets of Velaris, the soft chirps of morning birds as the sun peers through the silk curtains.

And a keening, needy noise that whistles through the quiet. It's him making that noise. He can't stop it, doesn't really try to. Not when Azriel is there, licking at the chasm of need spilling between his lips, spreading the taste of them across his tongue.

Heavy limbs settle across him, pinning him down into the mattress. He's moving and Cassian is helpless to do anything but go along with him. With a tilt of his hips and a shuddering breath he feels Azriel spill, impossibly hot against him and he's arching into the oversensitivity of it. Desperately pressing into it and wanting as much as he fucking can.

And then it falls quiet again. There's a soft drag of a warm flannel across his skin, prickly goosebumps quickly raise in its wake. He can feel the soft pillow beneath his head, and hear Azriel's breath against his ear.

"You were so good for me, Cassian, but you need to come back now. You were perfect and now it's time to cuddle before bed. Are you with me, love?"

A soft smile tugs at Cassian's lips. It's always been easy to answer Azriel, even if he doesn't think he is, the shadowsinger always knows, is always listening. It used to bother him, now he relishes it.

Even when his mind gets too much and his thoughts begin to weigh him down it's always easy to be with Azriel. He always gives him space to be himself, lets him even out his thoughts and reset his mind.

Azriel has always been good at creating a little space for them that doesn't really exist, a getaway– just like the cabin – that is not there but there and Cassian gets to fall into it, messy and confused before Azriel puts him back together again.

Azriel is kissing him, just the gentle slide of lips he spent so long yearning for. "I can't really answer if you're kissing me." He rasps and Azriel chuckles as he pulls back and the world shifts into a clearer focus now that he no longer has no shadowsinger's clouding scent blocking his thoughts.

His face is open, a quiet love plain and easy to see.

"I'm not letting you go this time."

It's easy for him to say. 

A/N: Not edited and written at 1am, I'm only taking credit and not blame for whatever this is.