Isabella

In all honesty she had begged Nesta to host this little Winter Solstice get together. The staff had been sent away for the Solstice Week with the view that the sisters would be spending time with their Aunt Ripleigh and their friends.

Obviously it wasn't mentioned that those friends were in fact a certain group of fae.

It was certainly an odd sight, neither party had been willing to sacrifice their actual holiday so they had all opted for a couple days before. Feyre had remained quiet about her birthday but Isabella had still packed her a matching set of handmade gloves and hat.

The gift felt meagre in comparison to what her fae friends would be getting her but Isabella hoped the handmade quality would make up for the lack of money spent. Indeed, everyone seemed to have taken on a casual air for the event. The few presents there were, had been left on a side table and most of the wrapping paper seemed to have been block printed with images of teddy bears so she assumed that everyone had chosen Ollie neutral territory.

Not that she minded and she was sure Ollie would love it when he realised the extra presents he would be getting.

Isabella hoped it would cheer him up. He had seemed out of sorts since the night Tomas came back. She wasn't sure whether it had something to do with what Grandfather Mandray said, if he had overheard Nesta and her talking about moving, or if it was just Tomas' presence.

He seemed better now, sat on her left with Cassian at his other side. The pair had once again set up the toy soldiers as guards for the food. Isabella had debated interrupting them to remind Oliver to finish his food but held off when she realised Cassian's scheme. He had been treating the veg cubes as 'treasure'. He had managed to trick Oliver into stealing the extra carrots and peas off Cassian's plate and eating them in triumph.

She had initially been confused by her son's excited and boastful expression at having managed to eat his least favourite– mushy peas. Then she saw Cassian's expression. It made her heart melt. Ollie was mimicking Cassian's expressions and movements.

Azriel had surprisingly chosen the furthest away seat from her and Ollie though she could swear that his gaze still lingered on them. Not that it really mattered considering he was quite happy to engage in conversation with Mor, Feyre and Elain at the bottom end of the table.

Isabella had been trapped at the other end facing Rhys and Nesta who seemed to be having silent battles of wills every two seconds. Impressively they both managed to maintain this competition while keeping up their polite conversation with one another.

Eventually Oliver's yawns became noticeable and the conversation turned more quiet. Isabella rose to her face, Cassian following as he helped lift Oliver into her arms.

"There we go, Tiny." He murmured, picking up Batbat from where he had fallen. "Don't want to forget this guy."

The conversation paused as everyone said their goodbyes to the boy and Cassian asked once again if she was okay carrying him on her own. In truth she needed a moment to herself, to think through what she needed to ask.

"Can Az read me a story?" Everyone went silent, and not the 'awww' silent it was the 'oh shit' silence and Isabella felt herself stiffen in response.

"I don't know honey." She murmured, trying to keep quiet even if every fae in the room could hear her.

"I'm sure he would love to," Cassian reassured them but Isabella caught his share glare at the male, "Did you bring the book Rhys got you?"

Isabella bobbed him up and down, trying to get a reaction before he got too sleepy, "Like we go anywhere without it."

"Of course." Azriel's voice was smooth but his shadows clung to his skin. They were normally more buoyant, swirling around his figure but now they seemed desperate to hide the shadowsinger from view.

They walked in silence, Oliver uncertainly glanced between them.

"Az doesn't want to read to me." Ollie whispered in her ear and Isabella's heart broke

Azriel froze ahead of them, turning around to peer down at her son who now avoided his gaze.

"I've just had a very tough day, little one." He murmurs and that low voice scratches an itch that Isabella didn't know she had. "I do want to read a story for you, I think it would make my day actually."

Oliver nodded and the matter was settled.

It took a few minutes to get Ollie ready for bed. Wisp lazily swirled around his shoulders as Isabella helped him clean his face. She slowly frog marched him out the bathroom, swooping him into the air and onto the bed. His giggles bounced around the room, light and joyful as he nestled down into the cover mountain.

There was a softness in Azriel's eyes as he pulled up the thick quilt and she absently noted that blue tones of cover matched his siphons perfectly.

"What story shall I read?" He murmured, perching on the bed next to Ollie's legs.

"You pick." Oliver said sweetly, clearly trying to bribe Azriel. The shadowsinger hummed, flicking through the pages.

"Have you read any about illyrian." Oliver's nose scrunched up in confusion.

"No ilrans." Isabella's lips twitched with amusement and she shared a look with Azriel. Her son was adorable.

"Uh- li- ree-uhn." Azriel sounded out softly.

"Ili-reen-un."

"Uh- li- ree- uhn." They went back and forth until Oliver was happy enough with his pronunciation and Azriel had decided to pick his fights. "Do you know what and illyrian is?"

Should she have been explaining the different fae to Oliver? The thought only just entered her head when Oliver shook his head, looking so confused that guilt tugged at her heart. She's his mother, it's her job to teach him about the world but- but she had been scared to even mention the fae. Let alone talk to her son about it. She hadn't wanted him connected to his father in any way. Not when it put his life in danger, not when his status as a half-breed would bring only trouble.

"An Illyrian is a type of fae that looks like Cassian and I." Azriel patiently explains, opening up the book to point out pictures, "We have round ears like humans," Oliver's laughter sounded through the room and Isabella realised that one of the shadows was tickling his ears, "And big strong wings." He flared his wings out for dramatic effect and Oliver start with unabashed awe. He had been too shy to stare at them previously, Isabella knew it was because she taught him never to stare at someone with scars, or missing legs because it can make them upset and uncomfortable at times. She hadn't considered that he might see the wings as an oddity he can't look at rather than an integral part of their culture.

"He lived in the mountains, up high enough to touch the clouds-"

Isabella could only watch as Azriel paused to explain terms she had previously glazed over. She hadn't known how to explain a Siphon or describe a symphonia. It hadn't seemed important before, they were just magical details in a fantasy story.

Heavens she had been so naive. The whole point of moving to Prythian over the mortal realm was so that Ollie could be with people like him. Except they weren't like him. Because Oliver barely understood what a fae was.

Silently she slipped from the room. A shadow curled around her wrist and she gently toyed with it letting it distract her as she walked back to the main party. Laughter and voices bubbled from behind the door, the soft glow of the fire visible from the staircase as she descended.

She would miss these moments with her sisters. Logically, Isabella knew she could visit but she also knew there would be a distance between them now, not just physically.

Cassian was the first to notice her when she entered. He strolled towards her with a wide smile and drinks in hand. Isabella didn't bother to say anything, only smiling politely to their friends before tugging Cassian from the room. He didn't hesitate to follow, only sliding his hand into hers.

The shadow began to swirl around their joined hands and Cassian snorted at the sight, rolling his eyes as he brushed his thumb across the back of her hand.

"What's going in that worried head of your's, Iz?" He whispered once they stood outside. She opened her mouth to answer but no sound came out. Thankful Cassian picked up on her need for time so settled for tugging off his thick jumper.

Isabella couldn't help but deeply inhale his scent when he tugged the thick wool over her head, sliding the material over her body and letting her wiggle her arms into place. She was swimming in the creme sweater but Cassian was beaming with pride and adoration at seeing her so bundled up.

"Is it about Tomas?" He murmured, clearly trying to trample down his concern.

"Oliver." She confesses, wincing at the name. It felt wrong to admit her fears out loud. Isabella was a good mother, she knew that she was, she had protected Ollie the best she could. Keeping a roof over her head and food in his belly.

But now she thinks she might have gone too far.

"I'm hurting him, aren't I?" Cassian opens his mouth to protest but she shakes her head. "I've spent his entire life hiding who he is."

"You kept him safe, he would have been killed if anyone from the village found out." Cassian's voice was strong, reassuring but she knew it was more than that.

"I hid from him."

"He's young, Iz, he wouldn't understand the difference between Human and Fae fully until he was older." Cassian scans her face, browns scrunching together in the middle. "He's only four - nearly five - you're teaching him now, at the age where he can understand."

"I'm not sure I would have if you hadn't come along."

"I'm not sure it would have been safe for you to do so if we didn't." he confesses and she knows he's right. "You are doing the right thing, there's no use agonising over past decisions. Focus on the ones you are making now."

She sniffles, nodding and Cassian bundles her into his arms.

"He has no friends his age." She mutters that had become clear when they started reading stories about friends going on adventures together. "We'll need to find him a- I think Rhys called it a nursery or a preschool."

Cassian's grip tightens around her and his voice is thick when he says, "Yeah, I'm sure we could find you a place to stay near a school or park."

Isabella can practically feel her words sink into Cassian, his excitement practically vibrating through his soul.

"Cassian," She murmurs, pulling back enough to peer up at him as he keeps his arms banded around her. "I was thinking.... I thought it was time that Oliver and I visit Prythian."

He froze.

"Nesta and I looked through the books and we thought Summer, Day or Night-"

"Not Summer." He states though his eyes keep flickering across her face as if he can't believe what he's hearing. "Things are tense with Summer politically and I- I have a life ban that means I wouldn't be able to visit you."

"You have a life-" She sighs, shaking her head with an amused smile. "Day or Night it is."

He exhales a shaky breath, eyes gleaming, "You're sure."

"Yeah." She whispers, grinning herself as she begins to picture her future. "I want to see where Oliver and I will be living, the house we might have, the bakery we would visit, the school Oliver would go to." She takes a nervous breath, trying to trample down her fear. "I need to see it." She states firmly. "I need to see the life I am leaving him for."

I need to see that we will be safe, that I'm making the right decision.

Cassian let out a loud whoop of joy that she desperately tried to hush. It was useless though for Isabella found herself laughing as Cassian picked her up around the waist and spun in a circle.

She can do this. She thinks when their friends come to investigate the noise. Cassian looks to her desperately for permission. She grins, basking in her friend's excitement as Cassian hastily explains the visit plan.

Thankfully he's already aware that she could only so the days with no overnight stay, Tomas would notice her being out all day as it is. Feyre's hands were waving wildly as she tried to jam everything she wanted to say into one sentence while Mor looked on fondly. Isabella found herself receiving many hugs from her sister at that moment, her joy palpable and Isabella found her gaze drifting to Rhysand.

His eyes were bright despite the dark circles underlining. She grinned, enjoying the way he smiled in return and raised his glass in a silent toast to her decision. Isabella didn't have his attention for long because Cassian was quickly talking his ear off and she suspected he was already planning the logistics for her visit.

But it was Elain who had her pausing. Her reaction was expected yet so different to what Isabella had imagined. Because it wasn't sadness or betrayal in her expression but rage.

A/N: Isabella has finally plucked up the courage to visit Prythian. This is part one of four, the next chapters will follow the holiday theme so comment any requests for the different sections.

Solstice with the Mandrays

Visiting Prythian (Just Isabella visiting Prythian)

Feyre's Birthday (Isabella and Ollie visiting Prythian)