No Shame // 5 Seconds of Summer

Charlie

"Do you remember the summer right before high school, fourth of July by the lake?" Micah asks as we walk back toward the cabin. His hand wrapped around mine, fingers entwined, thumb rubbing circles on my heated skin. My heart races a little as we talk.

"Yes." I could say more. I could confess everything I remember from that summer and tell him that's when things changed for me, but I'm waiting to hear what he has to say first. It's what I should have been doing this entire time.

"We watched the fireworks under the moonlight together. You put your head on my shoulder."

Tingles burst across my skin.

"I remember."

"That was the moment I knew."

I hold in a breath, willing him to keep talking. I don't trust myself to speak yet. I don't think I'd be able to get a word out without sobbing at this point.

"It felt...new. Suddenly, you were more than my best friend. You were my person. But I was scared shitless you didn't feel the same. That I'd lose you if I acted on those feelings. I was smart enough to keep them to myself, let our friendship continue so I wouldn't ruin what we had. Or..." Micah pauses in step to turn and face me. We watch each other, waiting for what, I'm not sure. Who'll go first? I open my mouth, but Micah beats me to it.

"Or it was the dumbest move in history because maybe I could have been with you the entire time." He leans closer, resting his forehead against mine. My eyes close, taking in his proximity, the warmth from his touch, the scent of him-a mix of pine and sweat-and I wait for him to continue. I need all of the confessions right now. Nothing held back. I nod to encourage him on.

"Looking back, I think I recognize how you held yourself back from me. Were you scared, too, sweetheart? Please don't be afraid to love me anymore."

The tears I've held back break free, silently spilling over and leaving a trail down my cheeks.

"Please, tell me it's the two of us now." He whispers, a tortured sound.

"It is," I say, finally. His body relaxes. His arms come around me, pulling me in, pressing me close so I have no choice but to wrap mine around him as well.

"God, I was so fucking scared."

"Me too." My voice wavers, but the relief that we feel the same is so strong I begin to gain strength from the knowledge. "That same night, I took the risk to put my head on your shoulder. It happened sooner for me. I couldn't not have you in my life, so I kept my feelings hidden. I tried to leave hints because I didn't know how else to tell you."

"So you put your head on my shoulder as a test." It isn't a question, although he isn't exactly right on that count.

"Not a test. More like a signal. I was hoping you'd see it as an opening if you were feeling the same way." He nods, the side of his head bobbing against the side of mine.

"I missed the signal because it was the spark for me, not the confirmation. You were further along than I was. But now," he leans back to look me in the eyes. His hand rises to caress my face. "Now we're on the same page."

I nod.

Then he kisses me, again.

My heart races as his soft lips press against mine. For a moment we're motionless. Then he tilts his head just so, encouraging me to do the same, and his lips part slightly. Enough to build momentum between us. One of his hands slides around to the back of my head while the other wraps possessively around my waist, dragging my body closer. I rise up on tiptoes for a better angle as his tongue slips in and darts out.

"Baby," he whispers between kisses. "How did I wait so long?"

"It was torture," I say.

"Absolute." Micah dives back in for more, his mouth finding new and delicious ways to tease me. A thought niggles in the back of my mind that we shouldn't be out in public behaving this way. Especially while we're in staff gear. But the girl who's waited years for this moment tells me to shut up and let the man kiss her.

That's what we do. Standing on a trail blanketed with pine needles and broken branches, we kiss. I'm vaguely aware of a breeze and a flutter of wings in the distance but most of my focus is on the place where Micah and I are joined.

And the sense that we're not close enough.

Micah must come to the same conclusion because the next thing I know he's broken our kiss and is pulling me along with him on the trail.

"Where are we going?"

Micah glances back at me, dark eyes aimed my way.

"The cabin." His voice is low, as heated as his eyes.

"Oh." I blink a few times. Oh. We quicken the pace, headed somewhere that seems like a foregone conclusion. Like the two of us are just now clued into what the universe had planned all along. Destiny.

It doesn't take long for the cabin to come into view. We rush the last few feet and right up the steps of our accommodations. Micah throws open the door, pulling me in after him but once we've fully entered the room all of our hopes are dashed.

Full house. I glance around with wide eyes. Jeff and Alison cuddle on the couch. Kyra sits on a barstool at the island with a snack scrolling on her phone. Pete sulks at the table, also on his phone. Frank and Misty bicker in the background of the kitchen. Micah groans quietly but it's loud enough to draw attention. Six pairs of eyes are now trained on us. And from the looks on their faces, I'm pretty sure every single one of them knows where we were headed.

Is it that obvious? I fidget with my shirt while Micah grips my hand tighter. One glance at him and I can see what they all must see. A man on a mission.

"Let's take a walk," Alison says, grabbing Jeff by the hand and pulling him off the couch. She shoots a look to the rest of them. "Come on. We need some fresh air."

"And they need some nookie." Misty calls out as she and Frank follow the other two out the door. "'Bout time, tiger." She punches Micah in the arm and winks at me. "Be safe!"

I cover my face, which I have no doubt is beet red.

Micah clears his throat. "Ahem, Pete?"

I watch Pete, still seated at the table, roll his eyes.

"Whatever. Go do your worst. I'll throw in some headphones to drown out the moans."

"Seriously?" Kyra is now on her feet glaring at Pete. "What kind of friend are you?"

"The kind who hates the outdoors. My blood is like crack for mosquitos." He holds out his arm to prove it. A red welt the width of a grapefruit takes up most of his forearm.

"I'll grab the bug spray. Or you can go sit in the lodge and swipe right on that sex app if you want."

He scrunches up his face. "What sex app?" He holds up his phone. "It's ESPN. I don't need an app for sex."

Kyra rolls her eyes. "Whatever." Pivoting away from him, she stomps out the backdoor and down the steps of the deck leading to the creek.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Pete charges out of his chair and follows her. Micah and I are left in silence as we watch him chase after Kyra.

"What was that?" I ask.

"Don't know, don't care." Micah turns to me, hoisting me into his arms before carrying me down the hall to his room. "But now that I have you all to myself, there's some things I need to show you."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

He makes it to the room, kicks the door shut with his foot and drops me on the rumpled bedsheets.

"Private things." He climbs over me.

"Will I like them?" I drape my arms around his neck.

Micah nods, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Will I love them?" I give him what I hope is a sultry eye.

He nods again.

"So, what are you waiting for?"

He smirks. Then he attacks. His lips meet the sensitive spot between my neck and my ear, and I squeal.

"That's a start. Let's see what other sounds you can make."

Little by little we shed clothes. His hands are warm and rough as they caress my upper thigh then my stomach, slowly inching higher. His bare chest presses against my skin. I love feeling his weight on me.

"God, Charlie, I had no idea."

"About what?"

Our voices are strained with desire but somehow, we've slowed way down. Making up for all of the fooling around we missed out on in high school. I'm okay with that.

"That the second we came together I'd feel this way."

I know what he means. I was so scared. I thought it might be awkward or forced because we've been friends for so long. But it's not. At least not to me.

But I want to hear what he's thinking.

"How does it feel to you?"

Micah pulls away just enough for us to look in each other's eyes. His nose touches mine as his fingers gently brush my bangs off my face.

"Perfect. As if you were made exactly for me. And I was made for you. Does that make any sense?"

My eyes flutter closed. "It makes perfect sense."

"I knew I'd be relieved if you possibly felt the same, but this is more than relief. This is like..."

"Coming home."

"Oh my god, yes." Micah kisses me. "What the hell have I been doing for the last five years? I feel like my real life is just now beginning."

"It is."

We kiss and roll around the bed. Gone is the slow sense of foreplay as we barrel forward into more. Much more. The rest of our clothes fly off. His arms wrap around me. My legs wrap around him. Misty's caution for safety is heeded without a hitch. And then two people who were desperate for one another but more afraid to lose what we had than to take a risk learn that it was them all along.

It was us. From that first moment under the moonlight, it's been us. It may have taken five years to take the next step, but all of that anxiety and fear has blown away like dust.

In the quiet of the room, the house still void of our other cabinmates, Micah holds me. His fingers run a trail up and down my side tenderly.

"I'm was never scared to love you," I say into the silence. Micah turns his head to nuzzle my neck. "I was only scared to say it out loud."

"Not anymore?"

I turn to face him, my lips brushing against his. "Not anymore." I take a breath, knowing my words are really steps into a new life. "I love you."

Micah kisses me. "Baby, I love you, too. This is like a dream."

"We're back!" Misty's voice paired with a knock rings through the bedroom door. Good thing Micah thought to kick it shut. "Put your clothes on. We brought marshmallows!"

I groan. Micah laughs.

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's go make s'mores before tonight's show."

"Can I put my head on your shoulder while we make them?" I wink.

"You better." He tosses my shirt over to me then puts on his own. It's an absolute shame to cover up that body. I really liked running my hands over his abs. But I won't tell him or it'll go right to his head.

Micah pulls me along to the door. "Now, once you step over this threshold, you're no longer Charlie, my best friend."

"What am I?"

"You're my girl. And I'm your guy."

I smile. "Okay."

"Wait!" Micah spins around to face me, his hands gripping my shoulders. "You're moving to New York!" The color drains from his face. "I forgot all about that. Shit."

I shrug. "Or I can move to Fallbrook."

"What?"

I take a deep breath before I answer. Many reasons led me to want to leave this mountain. Micah was one of them. But New York was never the goal. Freedom was.

"Like I said before, I don't have anything figured out. I do need a new start so maybe Fallbrook Hills is the right place to go. I'll listen if you want to talk me into it."

Micah picks me up and spins me around.

"Fuck yeah!" He kisses me after setting me back down. "Let's celebrate with s'mores."

"Hold on, we aren't celebrating it yet. I haven't decided and you haven't convinced me."

His eyebrows do a wiggle dance. "Oh, sweetheart, I'll be very convincing. Don't you worry."

I laugh as he pulls me along. I smile because I can only imagine how he'll work on convincing me. I'm not telling him I've already decided.

Not yet.

One thing about me, I always finish. But another thing about me, it might take a while. Anyway, this took waaaaaaaay too long to update, so I'm sorry for the delay. I've written two stories at once in the past and never had this much trouble, lol!

There is one or two more chapters for this one. It will end up just shy of 24k words, a sweet little novella. I'm not sure what I'll work on once this and Irrevocable are complete, but eventually book 2 in the Salt Creek Novellas will happen. Are you ready for Pete and Kyra's story? Brother's best friend/Best friend's sister!!! More to come on that.

No shame is super catchy so caution when listening. It may get stuck in your brain.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]