A/N: Sensitive issue! This snippet purely belongs to fiction and not to hurt or strike anyone's consious or perspective, You are warned.

Plot credits and dedication: SamairaRajput
Your post birthday gift is finally here! I took a long time to analysis and write. Hope you'd be satisfied atleast a bit🤍

jasmine_r22, my support system. I'm nothing without you 💕

_

The pale crescent moon shone like a silvery claw and stars looked like scattered, faint moondust in the dark sky that was soon about fade into twilight as the dawn was about to over take the place for the day. The noise on the platform increased when the train coniced and halted. Unlike the usual hustle and bustle crowd getting into the rail, there was hardly anyone getting inside owing to the early morning.

But then, there was Heer sitting on the bench staring aimlessly at the train she was about to board to reach her destination, her dream she chose above everyone. Absent - mindedly she gripped the hem of her suit, enough to make her knuckles pale white. Several train of thoughts attacked her sense enough to burn her raging heart.

Her bridal henna cladded hands that were adorned in heavy metalic bangles chimmed against each other as she wiped away the fresh tears that streamed down her khol smeared hazel eyes. Those beautiful bangles reminded of her mother- that pretty old lady with few strands of silver in her hair and more lines around the smile with affectionate eyes as she made her wear them with her warm hands. Such a bad daughter she was that she chose to snatch that beam of a smile and make her cry.

The impression of diamond engagement ring that used shone on her finger which he didn't wear it anymore, reminded of her father- how that 'always' firm face broke into soft puddles and that unexpressive eyes sparkled with unshed tears of happiness under those chandelier lights as he handed over her hands into her fiancee's. Such a bad daughter she was that she chose to snatch away that happiness and let him succumb by the humiliation.

At the same time, the dream she dreamt for years and worked hard towards was finally there on her reach, just a step forward and the sufferings she had faced would have been rewarded. But it was snatched brutally and tored into eight folds and thrown right on her face by her own blood. They mustn't have known, along with those papers, it was her entire kingdom she built all the years with hopes and faith in her heart were crashed along.

Not even a month passed away and she was already seated among the group of relatives to get hitched to stranger chosen by the elders. They made a interrogation on him - personality, well mannered, good family, secured job, luxury and the never ending background checks. When he was that "Perfect man" all were happy, except for her.

Everyone expected Heer to blush around at his mention, a stranger's name mention while her cheeks burnt scarlet out of hidden tears that stayed in her throat to mourn her snatched dream. Rusty chains held her behind more tighter when soft petals of flowers were showered in the name of blessings, a blessing that left nasty bruises and inflamed scars.

Stains of red painted those thick threads that were tied to her bleeding heart was pulled in rigid grip by familiar people to play along with that tainted strings. As starless night shimmer upon her exhausted body, she tried to chew away the bitter taste of awfulness. Wrap bandages of those slashes with trembling fingers as ocean of tears drip down in thin streams that acts to be an ointment to fade away the cracks for another morning.

Heer's mornings begun with shading on her dull face with foundations and hues to colour the eyes she no more found life in them. Her swollen eyes and traces of faint circles down her eyes were tagged and told it was the nervousness and the usual fear every bride goes through. But who would tell me them, how her eyes bawled to cry after a long day of suffocation? Another night of mourning for the piece of herself that were burnt in another custom for her wedding?

She remembered counting heavy breathes as the weight of the choker piece made out of dazzling rubies and elegant pearls, that adorned her neckline left angry lines whenever she stumbled but it didn't pain anymore. With every step forward, her heavy anklets chimed in melodic rhythms and made mockery about how she could never go back to that dreams torned into eight folds even when the offer stands still and ends on the 'Big' day.

Ah, the Irony! - the broken shreds of her heart sneered. Heer had never knew loneliness can be felt from inside inspite of being surrounded by all her near, dear ones smiling and dancing around. It was completely new yet brutally aching for the person like her who had a sea full of people always around in her sight to converse.

Heer felt as if she was left in the middle of a blood thirsty blade and being asked to choose an edge. No matter what, the abandoned side will strike deep against her flesh with coats of sweetest poison called memories. One side, stood her parents who taught her to dream and made her a proud brave women she stood today. Another side, stood the fruit of her devotion she yearned and dreamt for a decade - to heal the nation warriors who guard the boarders.

That brave smile soldiers put on despite bleeding all the way back to the camps has always made Heer be in awe. They sweat, bleed and tears blind them but not for once they'd stop. Heer wanted to wipe away the dust of cruelity off their wounds, stuff in tales of unsung dreams of fragile hopes and stitch them all together and pause, to smile and bring the tenderness in their eyes they'd lost in the valleys of deadly lanes and nasty bloodshed warfield.

She drew in a rattled breathe at the mere thought of choosing the sides she desired to see in one stretch. Struck between worshipping her creators and vision she owed to fulfill, Heer already wanted to hide herself in a blanket forever and let the warmth melt her frozen heart and cold sore bones.

If she chose her family, everything would go on a good track. Those beautiful smiles she fought to keep intact on their faces will prevail and the delighted imagination they dreamt all through their lives will become a cherishing reality. But at the end of the day, Heer will become nothing but a mere shell with raw insides. As she give away the offerings to the holy flames, she'd tear away her insides into small bits and let them burn along.

Or if she choose her ambition - she'll loose those precious beings as they suffocate themselves in preying eyes of the society and she might not even be forgiven, maybe until the end. But the sense of satisfaction will wash over as she cleans away and stitch off the brutal bruise of a fellow human who wince, hiss but never give up. As the cold winds of winter in Ladakh bring chills, the fragile snow fall showers will dance to the laments of longing she hums faintly in the lonely lobby in their remembrance.

Every pleasure comes with a price and Heer knew whatever the choice was, she'd pay with interest. She let her mind juggle through limitless thoughts for days to find an answer to the maze that was set before her vision as she walked and sat with clenched fists, chapped lips, hodded eyes, chewing away the seering ache and spitting words of ecstasy for others.

A night, in a disheveled state she found the barren diary abandoned under the pile of glamorous suits and dazzling ornaments in her simple wardrobe. Her wobbled fingers flipped the pages that had inked tales of her life. Some pages were inked in shaky cursives and words smudged with tears. Some pages were inked in colours and words of rainbow joys, oozing every thrill and excitement.

She was not an avid journal keeper, when she had her own time Heer would pen down words that inspired to soar more higher and words that burnt in lumps in her throat and melts in form of tears while sipping her favourite chai and let her features and book bath under the moonlight. Pages after pages, she flipped but one musing caught her attention,

❝ The world seems to be keen on doing anything to let a relationship prevail with compromise and adjustments, But what's so good about a companionship that rips you off your own individuality? ❞

Her own words left her to swallow the humid void of venom that suffocated and chocked her throat until she became breathless, her vision turned into hazy unfocused gaze and a spark of pain passed through her veins letting her gasp. Even a slap wouldn't have hurted the way her own musings did. Fragments of memories had hit her enough to collapse the wall she built with trauma and tears every nights, debris by debris. With exhausting customs and tiresome rituals, among the hawking eyes of people and layers of fabricated hues on her face, handling refined heavy suits and facades of beautiful laughter Heer had lost herself in that process.

Even the mirror that reflected her figure no more recognised that strong woman who used to stand with pride tales glittering in her hazels. Today she was nothing but doll wrapped in various materials with detailed works of beads and stones, the embellishment adorned striking away eyes of its beauty. Anyone could fall at that elegant sight but if only they knew, Heer was a wilting flower- delicate petals slowly shrinking from the corners leaving dead marks, who's real beauty has been forgotten and replaced by her glowing exterior.

Heer closed her eyes sighing heavily, unaware of how the dawn had broken away the dusky sky with colours of wild crimson, molten gold and flames of orange in the horizon. Shades of darker blue turned lighter and lighter as the sun rose higher and higher. The shadows were on the edge of fading as the glorious flicks of sun rays took over them, warming up the colder places.

When the sunlight reached her, it emitted the glow on her pale skin making it shine gold. That comforting, warm rays which tried to seep into her insides made Swara open her orbs. Her hazel brown met those glossy golden and glittered those thousands specks in her iris under the sparkling sun. One day, she hoped to rub these vibrant crisp hues of sunlight in her heavy heart and let the cracks be filled with these golden beams.

Announcement of the train's departure got her attention. The engine sprung to life, all set to depart in few minutes and Swara held the handle of the suitcase in tight fists, enough to make her knuckles white. Few people ran to catch up while she stood up with her gazed fixed on the train that had started to move in a slow pace. A step forward to her destination or backward to the wedding, Heer's life would turn into a completely different angle whatever the choice was.

The inner battles had left her weary, too weary to fight back and slash open her wounds until it bleed every night between the dark shadows and straps of moonglow on her through the creaks of the doors. She took a step forward, forward and forward and boarded the train. The train was gathering speed, wheezing through the silence as it moved out of the station.

Heer leaned on the window and gazed at the bench she sat one last time before it was no longer in the view. As if inviting the warmth to fill her, her lips curved into a smile that was long awaited like a summer breeze. Those red metalic bangles and heavy anklets that adorned or rather clapsed in her arms and legs and made mockery with its rhythmic chimes now laid in under the mercy of the blazing sun.

~

Word count: 2000