It couldn't last, but that was okay. After breakfast, Sana felt tired and went to sleep on the couch. I checked my phone, and the app hadn't beeped me. He was just tired. Such a relief, I couldn't express.

Sawai-san and I sat in the living room, having quiet time together. My mom was in the garden, enjoying the warm weather. Thinking of her gave me an idea.

"Sawai-san. Everything seems fine now. You should go outside and see my mom's tomato plants. They're really doing well." I leaned over in my chair a little, smiling at her. The idea of them together, getting to know each other... It gave me the warmest feeling in my heart.

"Hmm." Sawai-san tapped her chin in thought, as I'd often seen Sana do. It was such a surprise, shocking me. Had Sana picked this up from her? When? She smiled back to me, returning my feeling. "I'd rather you went to go take a bath. I'll look after Sana until you come back."

My eyes grew wide. "Huh? Me?" I blinked several times. I wasn't expecting this. It came out of nowhere. I paused. ...Did I smell bad? Was that it? When was the last time I had showered? ...No, it was this morning. I'd specifically washed Sana's hair twice in preparation to give him a great hairstyle after, to make him feel good.

"Yes. Go take a bath, and don't come back for thirty minutes. Relax in there. Does your mom have any bath salts or anything like that? Treat yourself. It's good for you."

Immediately, my mind went to the small wicker basket under my bedside table. There were several bath bombs in there. Part of Sana's Valentine's Day presents to me. I half pressed my lips together, half puckered them, thinking of those bath bombs. How I'd longed to use them with him. But, it was just unsafe. That was a fact. If we bathed together, and I accidentally lost hold of him... If he got tired, and slipped under the water... I shook my head. Terrible thoughts.

"It's okay. I can see you want to go. He's safe with me, I promise. If anything happens, I'll come get you. But, nothing is going to happen. I have the app on my phone, too." She was still smiling at me. I took her in. She was so much taller than me, so thin. She was wearing a Pixies shirt and ripped jeans, and her hair was short and spiky and bright pink. This was Sana's role model, someone he looked up to so much. Just the way they looked at each other... You could see how much they meant to each other. She adored him, with every glance.

But, staring at her now. Her frame. If something were to go wrong, could she pick him up? Would she be able to support his weight on her body? She was older, but maybe not frail. No, because, her job for so many years had entailed that she be on her feet for endless hours of the day, crouching down, lifting heavy boxes. Her stamina for walking and running around must be amazing to do that job. How heavy were the boxes that she had lifted? What if he fell down?

"You're hesitating," she said kindly, her hand gripping her blue armrest.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"It will really be okay. I've taken care of him before."

I nodded. I knew that. Yami had told me. Back in 2010, she'd been the one to take care of Sana after his cardiac episode. The first one. But, Sana was so much sicker now, and it had been years ago... The worst invasion of terribleness was invading the pit of my stomach. She didn't really know how sick he was.

She gasped before I knew what was happening. She got up out of her chair, and was next to mine so quickly, that I didn't have time to react. Her hand took mine. My other hand wiped my face before I even knew I was crying.

"It's okay. I don't want to force you. I know it's hard to leave him. Trust me, I know." She rolled my hand back and forth gently. "I just wanted you to take some time for yourself. You deserve a nice bath."

I pressed my lips together. "It's not that I don't trust you..."

"Ohh. Ohh, I know it's not that."

I sniffled. "I can't leave him alone. What if something happened? What if he fell down? I need to lift him up, and carry him. I want to. Do you..." I didn't want to ask, but I had to know. "Do you think you could do that, if you needed to? I can't leave him on the floor. He... He's so self conscious about being sick. He'd feel... He'd just feel..." I choked on my words, thinking of him blaming himself for being on the floor. I took my hand away from Sawai-san, and covered my face, thinking of him on the floor, maybe hurt, being all alone...

Her hand landed on my shoulder, her fingers gently pressing. Soothing. "Tetsu, you don't need to be the one... It's okay. Your mom's here, too. She's right outside those doors in the garden. It's okay... If he fell on the floor, your mom knows how to safely pick him up. She told me she's a nurse? Even if I don't know how to do something, she will. I promise."

"But, what if he gets hurt?" I leaned over more, this image of him too much. "What if he falls down and hurts himself? He's so fragile. He doesn't have the strength to land safely. What if he hurts his face? I can't..."

"Tetsu, why would he fall down?" She squeezed my shoulder with obvious affection, making the guilt even deeper in my belly. "He's on the couch. He won't need to get up for a while. He's sleeping now."

"Sometimes he wakes up unexpectedly. He might feel sick, or need to go to the bathroom. He- he needs help going to the bathroom, and he gets so embarrassed. He's even embarrassed when I help him, and I worry..."

"Oh, honey... Do you think he's going to be embarrassed if I take him?" Her voice was so gentle and sweet, no accusation, but no pity either.

"Yeah..." My throat pinched closed at this, new tears falling into my fingers.

Very softly, her warmth surrounded me. I tightened up as she embraced me from the side, and I knew she felt me do that. I hadn't meant to. Tears fell with abandon into my hands, my voice a pitiful thing, as she held me for a long time.

After a while, my mom came inside. She came into the living room, and I gave up my chair. She took it gratefully. Shocking me, Sawai-san said nothing of our previous conversation. It seemed like something my mom would want to know, about her son crying like that. But, Sawai-san kept our confidence like nothing had ever happened. This renewed the guilt inside.

It really wasn't that I didn't trust her. Of anyone in the world, Sawai-san would be the one to trust. She was Sana's mom. She knew things about Sana that I couldn't dream of knowing. I sat down in front of the couch, next to Sana's sleeping face. I stared at him, and he looked so peaceful. His ringlet pigtails made him seem even younger than he is. Carefully, I rearranged his bangs, and watched him sleep.

I would never leave him. Not for a second. He needed me, and that was it. Even though his new device was helping him a great deal, it was so new. Whenever something new was introduced to the mix, something unpredictable could happen. It was always that way.

"Your son loves Sana so much, doesn't he?" Sawai-san said to my mom, making me look up. My eyes went from her to my mom and back again.

"Oh, yes, they're never apart. They're inseparable." My mom looked so pleased that Sawai-san had noticed this. She gave me a smile.

"Ah, I see." Sawai-san smiled at me, too. My hand clenched the couch.

"They're having a wedding soon. Of course you are invited," my mom said, putting her knitting down on her lap. "You're Sana's mother. You'll sit with me." She pointed at herself.

My hand released the couch slowly.

"Of course I'll sit with you. I haven't heard much about the wedding. Yuuhi knew a few details, but that's all. I heard it's going to be in Hawaii?"

Something was soothing in my heart, with them talking about this. My mother's words were a gentle reminder to me of who Sawai-san is. Strange warmness in my belly. Realization. My shoulders relaxed, and my legs unfolded in front of me.

That's right. If Sawai-san was Sana's mom, then that meant... She was my mother in law. Not by law, but in heart.

Suddenly, everything leading up to this seemed silly. My guilt, my reluctance. Yes, I still worried. I still didn't know if Sawai-san could pick Sana up. But... I glanced at my mom, who was grinning at her, her hands clasped together, now talking about what kind of dress she should wear that wouldn't make her look too thick. I smiled, knowing this: my mom could pick Sana up if he fell. She was trained to pick up patients twice her size, and Sana was half her size. Both of them would make him feel comfortable.

We were all a family here, and I felt... Relief. The best kind of relief. Like a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I could float.

I got up, standing now with my hands fumbling in themselves. I stared down at them, still unsure, despite it.

"Huh, Te-chan? Are you okay?" My mom asked.

I glanced behind me, at Sana's sleeping face. He looked so safe and warm. I nodded, pressing my lips together. "I think..." I said quieter than I meant. My chin tucked down. "I think...I'm going to go take a bath..."

"Ohh." Sawai-san was so pleased. Her sound of joy filled my already warm heart with such a deep feeling of love, like she was hugging me all over again. "Tetsu, I think that's a great idea. Go ahead. We'll watch Sana. I've got my phone out. No worries. It's okay."

Her last words, it's okay, were softer, like a cat nudging her unsure kitten towards sunshine.

My mom picked up on it immediately. "Yes, Te-chan. Go take a bath. We'll be right here." I saw she was beaming.

"Alright..." I said, so nervous, but... As I looked at each of their faces, I knew so certainly it was going to be okay.