Diallo was devasted after I told him how I felt for King, but oh well. Now that I said it out loud, I had to digest that.

Was I really in love with King?

I had no idea what that was supposed to feel like. The thought made my stomach hurt. Like, a tight ball of nerves fighting in my stomach. I needed to lie down.

Here I was overthinking things.

I made it back to my Residence Hall and saw my Hall Director standing in the lounge area talking with some residents. I needed to speak to her so I waited around so I could have a moment with her.

I still did not get any notice that I made RA. It was not a done deal till I received official notification. It would change everything about next year. My room and board would be paid for, which meant less of my money to spend. Also now I qualified for some smaller scholarships because my grades were better than they were after high school.

I could not believe I was saving so much money.

As I waited for Jamie I saw a text spring up from Chantell. Finally, she answered me back.

I hate Donell and I never want to see him again

Well, this was news. Last I heard they were back together and she was moving to Kansas City with him. What changed?

Are u ok

Better than I have ever been. Clarity. it's a good thing.

I did not know what she meant by that but was glad she was having clarity to see what Donnell actually was.

I'll be in town this weekend, let's hang

Pick me up and let me stay with you at that mansion

I giggled at that. The house was not that big, but coming from where we were coming from, I guess it was a mansion. If she was not so pregnant, we could go over to Six Flags, but I'm sure she could not ride anything. Maybe we would go anyway. I could renew my season pass, get Chantel and JuJu a day ticket and we could eat junk food and people watch.

I got you

I guess our friendship was worth keeping. Long as I stayed out of her business, and minded my own.

I saw that Jamie was free now so I went over to her.

"Yes Rayvn, you need me for something?"

"Rumor has it I made RA for next year." I gave her a big smile. She was my boss over the front desk so we had a pretty cool relationship. "Care to clear up those rumors?"

"It will be an honor having you as Resident Assistant here next year," was all she needed to say to me and I squealed with excitement. "And, I hope you will stay on at the front desk."

"I can still work too?"

"Yes. Long as it's a set amount of hours and does not interfere with meetings and when you're on duty. Being an RA doesn't pay, so of course we don't mind if you all work. Shows good leadership balancing it all."

This was making my day.

I forgot about my upset stomach, momentarily. I rushed off to my room and texted King. I was not going to tell him my good news about RA either over the phone.

Can you come over tonight?

Sure

Was I ready to tell King I love him?

I already knew how he felt about me so this should be easy. I had to do something special for King. He always did sweet romantic things for me, yet I never did anything. I had no clue what to do. Could I cook? We did not have a stove in our suite, and I had limited food in our mini fridge.

I may have some time to buy him something nice. Or I could take him out to a romantic restaurant. I was not good at this at all.

I called Angel to check on her.

"Hey Mom, how are you and Angelique?"

"Doing fine sweetie. How's your week?"

"I have so much going on. I made RA! I get to keep my job next year. I have so much to do this week, including pack but, I can't wait to come see you and hold Angelique this weekend."

"That's not even necessary if you will be home for the summer next week.

"I want to!" I wanted to see my sister plus I planned on bringing as much stuff as I could in my car. That would mean a lot less things when Jared came next week to help me move out. "Plus I can study there and it's probably better for me. It's a good thing I'm only in college two hours away."

"Can't wait to see you, sweetie. Angelique is looking more and more like you every day, it's so amazing."

I did not even look like my Dad so that was weird I looked like my baby sister who only shared one parent with me. I was going to spoil her rotten. I had all summer to spend with her and take care of her.

"Angel, I need an idea to do something romantic for my boyfriend. This is not my territory at all. Like do I get a card, buy him dinner, sing a song..."

Angel broke out laughing at me. I huffed and rolled my eyes, lucky she could not see me.

"I'm serious! I mean, I'm not a singer, but isn't it the thought that counts."

"It is...but put some thought into it. Now, I did not get to feel the guy out much to see what he's about, but your Dad likes him, so I guess he is a decent guy."

"He is." I hesitated, deciding if I should tell Angel that King said he loves me. No, we could talk about it later, after I told him the same and everything was peachy keen.

Soon after I got off the phone with her there was a knock on my door. I was so happy to see my man. It sounded so nice to even say.

"Hey, you!" I greeted him when I opened the door.

King pulled me in his arms, squeezed me tight to him, and kissed me on my cheek. Why did I blush like a little schoolgirl?

"I've had a day, let's chill, relax and do nothing."

"I'm good with that. Hungry? I have nothing but junk food here."

"Let's order something."

We ordered Chipotle and meanwhile watched whatever sounded good on TV. He told me how he got into it with his roommate, but that luckily there was only a week and a half left rooming with him.

"Have you put in what residence hall you want to stay in next year?" It would be awesome if he was in the same residence hall as me.

"Naa! I'm doing off-campus. I'm a junior, I don't have to stay on campus."

"But..." I wanted him to be on campus with me. I know, selfish.

Now I was going to be an RA, responsible for a whole floor, and would not be rooming with Gay. RA's had single rooms while everyone else on the floor was in suites. Being an RA was not going to be an easy job, but I was up for it.

"I made RA for next year," I told him. "I wanted you to stay here so we would be close. I need you."

"Congrats babe!" He hugged me. "That's huge! It's very competitive to make it. You're going to do great, you don't need me here for that. Be the awesome person you always are."

Now I sounded like a bratty baby, instead of a grateful girlfriend. What was wrong with me? Why did I deserve an awesome guy like King?

Our food came and that was my cue to keep quiet and just eat. I still had not told King how I felt, and now I was nervous too. He may think I was only saying it because he said it first. He may think, and be right, that I had no idea what being in love meant.

As King continued talking about the apartments he was looking into, all one bedroom as he said he wanted no roommate, he started to talk about how he needed a job next year to foot his bills. It would cost more to stay off campus, plus buy food. King was from a similar background as me, not wealthy, a single parent. Except he did not have a father around at all.

I listened and nodded, not offering up anything to the conversation.

"You've been quiet babe, something going on?"

It was now or never. Why were my hands so sweaty?

Instead of saying those three words I move in close, kissing him, pressing my body close to his. I did not want to talk, I just wanted to show him how I felt. Everyone else my age was just linking up, maybe that was the route to go.

We continued kissing, simply making out right there. King was being too respectable. I wanted him to let loose with me.

He let me touch under his shirt, and feeling his bare chest was exhilarating. But I wondered what it would be like if he was naked.

So I went for it.

I pulled his shirt over his head and threw myself on him so that he fell back on the couch. Sex was next, right?

"Wait Rave, slow down." King held me back but I was staring over his very sexy body. Did he work out and never told me?

"Want to go to my room for some privacy?"

King stood and grabbed his shirt. "No! Rayvn I already told you we're not ready for this."

"No, you said you're not ready. I said I was ready."

"I said we should wait." He pulled his shirt back on.

"But wait for what?"

"You even asking that makes no sense to me Rayvn. You're young, you haven't dated much before. This is a big deal. You don't even know how you feel about me for real. Don't just jump into bed with me because you think that's the next step in our relationship."

He was saying all these things but I was not listening. He was rejecting me even though he told me he loved me.

"I do know how I feel about you," I said quietly, I wasn't even sure if he heard me.

"I'm just going to leave."

What the hell was going on? I stood up and looked him over. I loved King so much, he was everything to me but right now I didn't know anymore.

King pulled me in for another of his comforting hugs. I melted in his arms and wanted to stay there all night.

"Stay King. Stay the night. We can just...hold each other."

"I'm sorry and, it's better if I go." He kissed me. "I love you...but you need more time to know how you feel, and that's fine. I'll give you that."

And then he left and I cried my eyes out.

A/N: All part of being in a relationship. This is called the ups and downs.