[ iii. the one with the drunken role model ]

september 24th, 1994

☕☕☕

SABRINA MUNOZ WAS THREE beers into the evening before she finally picked up a hammer.  Amid moving boxes and unreconstructed furniture, Sabrina was now currently seated on the soft, carpeted floor of Ross Geller's living room, lazily leaning on a small, white coffee table where the copper tool was within easy reach.  Even as she grabbed it, Sabrina knew that she had no intention of using it, of course.  That was the boys' job.

On one side of the small apartment, Ross was currently squatting over a wooden frame and dejectedly reading instructions on a small piece of crumbled paper.  Sabrina could not exactly tell what Ross was supposed to be constructing.  It could still go multiple ways and surely each of them involved a swift hit to the thumb with a hammer.  A beer rested near Ross' foot, but he was still very sober and very focused on restarting his life.

Sabrina silently wondered how long his composure might last.

On the other side of the room, Joey and Chandler were in the midst of putting up a bookshelf.  They were a lot further in their own project than Ross was in his, but that was probably only because it was two against one.  Granted, Chandler seemed to be doing most of the work, anyways.  That was usually how it went with the two of them.  Nonetheless they were nearly finished with the bookshelf and Sabrina could not wait for them to be done, so she could finally have someone to drink with.

Now, do not get her wrong—on any other day or in any other state of mind, Sabrina might have been more lenient to get work done around the mostly empty apartment, too, but tonight had already been promised to her as a night of drinking.  And—finally having a Saturday night to herself with some of her dearest friends—she was going to make the most of it before Monday morning came catching back up to her.

Suddenly Ross exhaled a breath of frustration, pulling Sabrina from her thoughts.  "I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little whim guys," He huffed, squinting down at the tiny directions.  "Well, I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and—I cannot feel my legs."

"Maybe because you're a grown man crouched like a frog," Sabrina pointed out, motioning to Ross' quite uncomfortably looking stance.  He was nowhere near completing whatever it was that he was supposed to be working on and if he stayed crouched any longer . . . Well, Sabrina did not want to think about it.

"Maybe I wouldn't have to be crouched over like this if you'd actually help," Ross snipped back.

"Hey," Sabrina warned, waving her bottle loosely in his direction.  "I'm just a supervisor."

Ross scoffed and slowly clambered to his feet, stretching out his long, lanky legs as the blood flow rushed downwards.  With his back turned, Sabrina stuck her tongue out at him and promptly took another drink; in an instant, she was smirking and relaxing once more.  Just then, from over her shoulder, Sabrina heard Joey let out a small cheer of victory.  "I'm thinking we've got a bookcase here!"

Chandler stepped back to examine their assembled work. "It's a beautiful thing," He mused. His tone was only slightly sarcastic.

Sabrina glanced over her shoulder to see a small, narrow, wooden bookshelf pressed firmly against the opposite wall of the living room.  It was not a pretty bookshelf by any means, but that was where the actual books and decorations would come in.  Sabrina had two bookshelves in her bedroom that she had built for herself in high school.  Her bookcases were not pretty either, but the books that littered the splintered wood were some of her most precious possessions.  The big and small, colorful and bland books ranged from all different years and publishers, and many pages were wrinkled, torn, dog-earned or marked on, but each little addition only added character.  And if there was any one thing that Sabrina Munoz loved most in the world it was the inner unspoken character within all things.  But do not get her wrong, she loved her books very deeply, too.  If the apartment were even to burn down and Sabrina had to escape at a moment's notice, she would make sure to bring her books with her.

Just as Joey then went to reach for his own beer and take a sip, his expression dropped to a frown as his fingers abruptly went to a small metal leftover part instead and picked it up.  "What's this?" He questioned quietly, fearfully, as if to not be overheard by Ross, who was now distracted by something beyond the living room window.

Chandler stuffed his hands into his pockets.  "I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket," He answered.

Sabrina chuckled softly, eyeing the confused stares of her two friends.  "Actually, my boys," She addressed.  "that is a corner brace."

Joey's eyes flickered to hers, his frown settling deeper on his features.  "Is it important?"

Sabrina contemplated for a moment.  "Eh."  She took a sip of her drink.  "I'm sure you'll be fine without it."

"Yeah, just don't put any books on the bookshelf," Chandler grumbled under his breath.

Ensuring that Ross still was not looking, Joey discreetly discarded of the brace into a nearby house plant, brushing dirt over the leftover part so that it might never be found again.  Once that was all said and done and the two boys had returned to their beers, Sabrina's mood elevated greatly as she turned around once more, now eyeing the untouched bottle near her friend's foot.  "Ross," Sabrina called.  "Your beer is getting warm."

Ross looked down to the bottle and a quiet tremble suddenly escaped his lips.  "This was Carol's favorite beer," He confessed.

Joey cocked an eyebrow, freezing at the sign of potential man tears in the building.  "Hey, hey, hey."  He snapped his fingers in Ross' face, trying to pull him from his trance.  "If you're going to start with that stuff, we're out of here."

Chandler smiled, but it did not reach his eyes.  "Yes, please don't spoil all of this fun," He muttered.

Sabrina rolled her eyes at Joey and Chandler's inability to convey any compassion.  "Oh, come on, guys," She huffed.  "A good cry never hurt nobody."

Ross hardly seemed to hear Sabrina's attempt at defending his honor, his entire attention now entranced by a single beer bottle.  "She . . . She always drank it out of the can, though . . ." He murmured, trailing off.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, it's my favorite beer, too," Sabrina offered, attempting to make Ross feel better.  At this point, any attention that was not directed towards the thought of Carol was good attention.

"Really?" Joey wondered, dropping down to sit beside her at the coffee table.  Over Ross' shoulder, she immediately shook her head in a dramatic answer, causing Joey's lip to tilt upwards in a hidden smirk that he quickly hid behind his own bottle.  A moment later, Ross looked back up, now cradling the bottle like it was as precious as his long-ago engagement ring.  "Ross," Joey finally continued, clearing his throat.  "Let me ask you a question."

Ross' face was fearful.  "O-Okay."

"So, Carol got the furniture, right?" Joey listed off.  "And the stereo?  And the good TV?  And the—"

"Joey, where is this going?" Sabrina interrupted.  By the contorted expression on Ross' features as he looked around his truly empty apartment, he was not feeling better at all.  If anything, he was only getting worse.

Joey sent Sabrina a curt look. "What I'm trying to get at is," He addressed, placing his hands on his hips as he turned back to Ross.  "What the hell did you get?"

Ross' eyes of sadness shifted to those of brief confusion as he reflected back on what he had managed to hold onto in the fallout of his failed marriage.  After all, there had to be something that Carol had let him get away with.  She was not a monster.  Finally, after a long moment of contemplation, Ross managed to take a sip of his own drink, but his ultimate answer was not reassuring to the friends in the slightest.  "You guys," He informed.

Chandler's eyes widened in horror.  "Oh, God."

Joey shook his head in disbelief.  "You got screwed."

Of all objects, moments, feelings, and memories that Ross had managed to hold onto in what was undeniably the darkest hour of his life, he had been able to hold onto Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Sabrina.  Rachel, too—possibly—if she opted to stick around Manhattan longer than a week.  Sabrina was not sure whether to feel relieved or worried for Ross by what had had held onto.  While their friend group was a force to be reckoned with, they were also terrors in themselves.  At times they were not much.  Other times, they were a little more promising.  So, maybe, just maybe, with age, the six—seven—of them might grow to become something spectacular.

(But in the meantime, despite the unknown of the future ahead, there was still a bright side in the now.)

Sabrina took another sip of her beer, feeling the alcohol quite evident in her system now.  Perhaps that was what gave her the strength to speak so confidently.  "Hey, at least you didn't have any kids together.  Or pets," She supplied, continuing to look for the silver lining.  "You don't have to fight over who gets those.  That shit can get really ugly, really fast."

Across the room, Ross swallowed a small gulp.  "I guess you're right," He admitted feebly.  He then offered a tight smile that nearly came off as a grimace, but he was trying, nonetheless.  And Sabrina could not be prouder.  "Things could be worse."

☕☕☕

LITTLE DID ANY OF the friends know in the moment, but things could absolutely get worse.  Sabrina had down another two beers in the following hour, and she was now what Chandler had sarcastically labeled her as "a baby Bambi learning to walk".

(In other words, she was very drunk.)

At some point during the evening, Sabrina had attempted to move to a foldout chair, but as she was unable to really walk without potentially taking out Joey and Chandler's poor attempt a bookshelf, she now found herself seated on the ground beside none other than Chandler Bing.  Both of their backs were pressed against the kitchen island and idle bottles of beer rested in both of their hands.  Now nearing midnight, Chandler was a bit drunker than he was letting on, and Sabrina could see right through him.  With his reddened cheeks, there was no denying that he was on his way to "a baby Bambi learning to walk" himself.  Sabrina held her drink out to Chandler, letting the tip of her bottle clang against his own before she let out a small laugh and took another drink.

"I need to get on your level," A voice called out to Sabrina from across the apartment.  Ross was still in the living room, perched on the windowsill with his lips loosely pursed.  He was watching Sabrina, gently amused by her carefree attitude.  He wished he could have more of her own spirit within himself sometimes.

Sabrina snorted, making a rather ugly sound that had Chandler keeling over in silent laughter.  "Yeah, you do," She responded.  "It feels nice.  All the stress just slips right off you."

"That's not the only thing that's probably going to be slipping off before the night is done."

Sabrina instantly whipped her head up at Joey's sly, playful comment.  He was standing above Sabrina and Chandler, two beer cans stacked on top of one another as he rested back against the kitchen island.  He was looking right at Sabrina and her lips twisted into a pout as she pointed a condescending finger up at him.  "Hey, I have a boyfriend," She pointed out.

"Bradley, was it?" Chandler teased.  "I miss him."

"I'm sure he misses you, too, Chandler," Sabrina soothed, patting him softly on the shoulder.  "But that's beside the point—Joey, get that smirk off your face."

Joey Tribbiani, of course, did no such thing.  "Brina, you've taken your clothes off when you were completely sober," He reminded her.  He tilted his head to the side giddily.  "Not that I'm complaining or anything."

Sabrina's cheeks burned.  "Because it was a dare!  And there was a fountain involved," She argued, crossing her arms defiantly over her chest.  "That was not sexual whatsoever, Joseph."

Joey was laughing harder now, and she could see the familiar tint of red forming on his cheeks.  He was getting tipsy now, too.  "Okay, okay, calm down.  I know.  I was kidding," Joey reassured kindly, letting his smirk drop to a genuine smile once more.  "God, what kind of friend do you think I am?"

Sabrina huffed, looking up at Joey through a slanted gaze.  "Well, my sister—" Her breath abruptly caught in her throat as she suddenly cut herself off, catching a hold of her own thought before it ran away from her.  In an instant, she was sending Joey a coy smile instead.  "You know what, never mind."

"You're just going to leave me hanging like that?" Joey asked, faking a frown.

"How's it feel to be on the other side?" Sabrina snickered.

"Ouch.  Confident, are you?" Joey chuckled.  "I don't think I've ever seen you like this."

"Get used to it," Sabrina scoffed, batting her eyes up at him.  "The first couple months of the school year are the prime times for teachers to lose their mind."

Joey only grinned.  "You're cute when you're drunk."

Sabrina merely rolled her eyes, still a bit unused to Joey's natural flirtatious behavior.  That was just who he was.  He made the girls and the guys go crazy.  After two months of knowing him, Sabrina had already learned to take the flirts with a grain of sand, but he was just so smooth that even Chandler found himself suddenly looking up, knocking the ball cap on top of his side sideways.  "You know who isn't a cute drunk?"  He questioned.

Sabrina tilted her head.  "Who?"

"That."

The three friends who were still gathered around the kitchen island looked back to the living room once more and found that Ross Geller was pacing in front of the windowsill.  Aside from no longer sitting on it, the only other difference now in the tall, divorced man was that his face was contorted in agony, his lips turned downwards in a miserable pout.

"I'm divorced!" Ross wailed upwards into the ceiling.  "I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!"

"Ross, don't start this again," Joey pleaded, crossing back into the living room where his lonely friend stood.  "W-Why don't you start back on that TV stand?  You look like you're almost done."  Joey then stepped closer to the new piece of furniture in the corner of the room and patted the stand to test the sturdiness.

And then it collapsed.

Ross let out a tiny squeak as his hard work imploded before his eyes, but rather than say anything about it, he whipped back around to where Sabrina and Chandler sat.  "You know what the scariest part is?  What if there's only one woman for everybody, you know?  I mean, what if you only get one woman and that's it?" He moaned.  "Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman—for her . . ."

Instead of being sympathetic to Ross' fragile esteem, Joey rolled his eyes, as if unable to believe that Ross could be so childish.  "What are you talking about?  'One woman'?" He demanded.  "That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you.  Let me tell you something, Ross."  Joey clapped a strong, warm hand on his friend's fragile shoulder.  "There's lots of flavors out there.  There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Cherry Vanilla.   You could get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream!  This is the best thing that ever happened to you!  So, you got married—you were, like, what, eight?"  Joey joked.  "Well, welcome back to the world!  Grab a spoon!"

Ross looked puzzled and concerned, all at once.  "I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny," He admitted.

Chandler snorted.  "Stay out of my freezer."

Sabrina sent her friend a disturbed side glance.  "I feel like this isn't a conversation I was meant to be a part of," She murmured, taking another drink of her previously forgotten bottle.  Letting the beer settle in her mouth for a moment, Sabrina looked down to the cold floor.  The apartment was still so empty, so lackluster of any life.  It felt a lot like Sabrina's own home in a way.  Sure, she had a roof over her head, and she had a family that loved her, but it did not feel like it was hers.  She felt like she was living in a space that was much too big and too small for her, all at once.  Slowly, after several long minutes of silence, in the void of all conversation, Sabrina swallowed the rest of her beer and spoke once more.  "You know," She said to no one in particular, her voice sounding so hollow, so unsure.  "I think Bradley wants to propose soon."

Joey's eyes widened in surprise.  "You think?"

Sabrina nodded absentmindedly.  "We'll be going on three years in April," She informed.  "I wouldn't be surprised if he proposed on our anniversary."

Ross, who could not help but notice how quietly Sabrina spoke of her predicted future, tilted his head to the side.  "How does that make you feel?"  He asked.

A long minute passed with no answer.  Her eyes were lost, her soul stuck in a world that no one else could see.  Then Sabrina's shoulders sunk softly, the drunken stupor fading from her body completely, if only just for a single moment.  And in front of the boys, of all people, Sabrina Munoz became incredibly vulnerable.  "Terrified," She whispered.

Neither Ross nor Joey responded, but, unsurprisingly, Chandler let out a loud cackle, causing Sabrina to jump.  "I'm sorry, I didn't realize this was girls' night," He laughed.  "Should I get the nail polish?"

Ross frowned.  "Chandler, that's—"

"No, no, don't worry, Ross.  It's okay," Sabrina waved a hand, calling him off.  "The booze is talking for us when we should be talking for the booze."  Then, slowly but surely, Sabrina crawled onto her knees and from there rose back up to a standing position.  She felt surer of herself now than she did earlier, but she still held onto the island countertop for reassurance.  "But first off, I hate nail polish.  And second, Joey, grab yourself another beer.  And grab one for me, Chandler, and Ross, too.  From now on, there will be no more talks of relationships, successful or failed ones otherwise.  Tonight, is supposed to be a night of best friends, drinks, and remodeling.  And right now, I'm seeing no remodeling."

Liking where she was going, Joey grinned excitedly and went over to the refrigerator to grab another six-pack.  Across from her, Ross smiled gratefully at Sabrina.

Beside her, Chandler slowly clambered to his feet and Sabrina reached out to grab his hand.  "You were right, Chandler.  This isn't girls' night," She confirmed.  "You know why?"

Chandler swallowed uncertainly.  "I'm almost afraid to ask."

Sabrina only laughed and placed one hand firmly on her hip while reaching for the beer that Joey was offering her with the other.  "Because Saturdays are for the boys."

☕☕☕

BY TWO IN THE morning, it was time to take Sabrina home. 

The apartment was a madhouse.  Because Ross had been feeling only slightly better, Sabrina was now the wallowing mess, but she tried to hide it with an abundant amount of alcohol.  Ross had decided to join her in their booze adventures and now, they were both just messes.  Even Chandler could no longer keep up with them, and Joey had long since stopped trying to chase after Sabrina with liquor.  Whether he liked it or not, he was the most sober one and had to act as such.  Joey had to be the responsible one who would be able to manage getting two of his closest friends down two flights of stairs and into a taxicab without losing either one of them in the process.

(Good luck to him.)

"Grab a spoon . . . Grab a spoon!" Ross scoffed painfully.  "Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?"

"I don't . . . I don't know," Sabrina mumbled, leaning forward with her face in her hands.  Once more, she was crouched over the coffee table like she had been upon first arriving at the apartment.  "I don't think I'll ever be able to get married . . . But I don't know how to say no to something like that!  I mean, how do you break someone's heart like that?"  Her head suddenly shot back up and tear streaks lingered on her small face as she looked around the dimly light living room.  "Why am I talking like this?!  Please, guys, promise me that you won't say anything!" 

"You know, here's the thing," Ross continued.  "Even if I could get it together enough to—to ask a woman out . . . Who am I going to ask?"

And somewhere in the middle of the whining and tears, Joey and Chandler were caught, frozen.  Chandler was struggling to stay awake and Joey was still nursing his drink, watching the madness unfold.  Both Sabrina and Ross were talking aloud, but their conversations were on completely different wavelengths.  It was as if they could not even hear each other.

Sabrina continued to speak without waiting for any response from anyone, her thoughts running as rampantly as her mouth.  "But . . . But . . . What if Ross is right?" She murmured.  "What if there really is only one person meant for you?  What if Bradley is the one?  Or . . . what if it's a woman?  It could be, couldn't it?"  She contemplated for a long moment.  "Oh . . . what if I've already met the one and I let them get away?  What if it was my next-door neighbor in college? . . . Oh, God."  Sabrina's face twisted horrifically.  "I think I'm going to throw up."

"All right!" Joey rapidly stood up from the now completed couch and the room only slightly spun for him.  "I think it's time to go."  He clapped a hand on Chandler's shoulder, jolting the boy alert.  "Help me get her up.  We're outta here."

Chandler, who was sitting against the far wall of the living room stood up slowly, uncertainly.  His face was empty of any expression as he looked dazedly around the room.  "What happened to Saturdays are for the boys?" He questioned dryly.

Now, the girl was snapped back to the reality that was Ross' living room.  "I'm a girl, Chandler!" Sabrina cried, aggressively brushing her hair back from her eyes.  "Sorry if you've never seen one before, but this is what we look like."

Chandler could hardly believe what he was hearing.  "Even when she's absolutely wasted, she still finds a way to insult me," He muttered, waving his hands exasperatedly.

Joey snorted.  "Drunks don't have filters."

As if on cue, Ross was rising up from behind the couch to prove that statement.  "Should I have known Carol was a lesbian?" He questioned, nearly as drunk as Sabrina.  "I mean, I mean . . . is there . . . a sign?"

Neither Joey nor Chandler responded to the man as he then slowly pulled himself onto the empty couch.  The two best friends were now standing over Sabrina, and without a single word they both grabbed one of her arms and hauled the girl up.  Pulling her arms around their own necks, both Chandler and Joey secured one of their own arms around her waist.  Sabrina stumbled in their holds.  She was not heavy, but she was not exactly light either with her dead weight swaying idly between them.  "What if . . . What if Bradley and I get married, and he wants to move away?" She whimpered.  "What if I have to leave you guys?  I can't do that!"

"No one's going anywhere, Brina," Joey reassured her, patting her soothingly on the abdomen.  "Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down, Joey Tribbiani!"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!"

"Oh, I hurt your feelings.  I'm sorry.  Chandler, I'm sorry, too."

"For what?"

"I don't know.  I'm just sorry."

Joey started guiding his friends towards the door.  "Goodnight, Ross!" He called over his shoulder.  "We'll see you tomorrow!"

Suddenly, at the familiar name, Sabrina lifted her head and dug her heels into the carpet.  "Wait!" She cried.  "Wait!  I remember!"

"Remember what?" Joey questioned, shifting his other arm to a more secure place around her waist.  "Brina, you're being too loud."

"Shhh," Sabrina hushed him.  "Ross Geller!"

Sabrina waited to be turned around.  Now looking at the large, dark lump on the couch, she called his name once more and in his drunken state, Ross Geller looked up hopefully.  "Yeah?" 

Sabrina smiled softly.

"I hope you find your spoon."

Now, she was ready to leave.  With one arm wrapped tightly around Chandler Bing's neck and her head lolling loosely on Joey Tribbani's shoulder, the girl finally bid her friend a drunken farewell.  And as the trio of friends loudly and messily left Ross Geller's apartment—deep down in the silence of her own heart and mind—Sabrina Munoz still hoped that she would find her spoon, too.

~~~~~~~~~~

sabrina invented the saying 'saturdays are for the boys' and you can't tell me otherwise.

this chapter was so chaotic and so fun to write. i love sabrina and her boys. they all love each other so much, even if their drunk personalities like to push each other's buttons every now and then. so, what're you thinking of sabrina so far?? anyways, i hope you all enjoyed this third chapter! what are y'all thinking?? what do you hope to see from sabrina and her friends?? i'd love to hear your thoughts and what you'd like to see next! so please, leave some votes and comments because your girl would really appreciate it! thanks for reading!

i hope y'all are having a lovely day/night, and are staying healthy and safe!

--B.