I'm dreaming.

That's the only possible explanation for what I see. Because there's no fucking way that I'm looking at my mother, the very woman I've been mourning for years, the woman who died from a heart attack, the woman we held a funeral for and said our goodbyes to for life. She doesn't exist anymore. She can't be here, standing in front of me.

But it's her. There's no mistaking it.

Her eyes are the first thing I recognize. They're Alessa's eyes—dirty moss irises that I always wished I had. Her hair too, a warm and radiating blonde that neither Alessa or I inherited. I've always wanted to look like my mother, who is a beautiful woman.

The woman in front of me now is still beautiful but in a haunting way. She looks years older than I last saw her, faint lines that make her age unmistakable adorning her face. A scarred face. I can't help but stare at the thin, red, ribbony line that starts from her temple and drags down to her mouth. The cut isn't neat, and intuition tells me she fought against whoever tried to mark her. She looks life a fighter too. Nothing like the frail and quiet woman I remember. Her body appears lean and muscled, clearly visible under her tight black clothes, and she holds a gun in her hand with unmistakable confidence and skill.

The gun. Father. I follow the direction it's pointing and blink at my writhing father, who's yet to notice her because his eyes are squeezed shut in pain. I look back at my mother and the thought alone makes me feel like I'm going insane. My mother.

"Mom?" I repeat, taking a tentative step closer.

She pulls her blank and hardened gaze up until it meets mine, and then her eyes soften and I know immediately that it's really her. Overtime I forgot simple things like what her voice sounded like, how she smelled, the way she hugged me, but her eyes have always been unforgettable. They radiate love for the right people and right now, they're shining at me.

"Mari." She smiles. My lungs pulse as if they're in pain. That's her voice. I remember it. That's what she used to call me all the time. "Oh, it's so good to see you."

I can't help but look around and try to confirm that I'm imagining things. But I don't think I am. My husband's gaze moves between my mother and I. The same for Cavallo and Axel who are still tentatively holding their guns up, like they're not sure what to make of this. They see her too. She's really there. She's alive.

"I don't understand," I whisper, swallowing hard. "You died."

"Almost," she corrects. She taps her scar with the hand that isn't holding the gun. "But I had plans to live that I wasn't ready to give up."

"Mariana?" Knox comes to my side. "What's happening?"

"I don't know." I shake my head. "That's...that's my mother. She's here."

Mother's eyes shift to Knox and I'm surprised at the familiarity I see in them. Does she know him? A moment late I get my answer.

"I see so much of her in you. You are Carmella's son, aren't you?"

Knox sucks in an audible breath. He sways and nearly crashes into me. I grab him before he can fall and my palms immediately become damp. That's when I notice they're covered in the blood that's soaked through Knox's clothing. That's too much blood.

"Knox!" He falls to the floor and I go down with him, my knees digging into the grass he lays back on. I immediately take his jacket off and he groans, a sheen of sweat coating his forehead and neck. I swallow down the gasp when the jacket comes off and reveals his blood-soaked white button down. Shit. How long has he been bleeding? "Hold on, baby. I'm going to try and stop the bleeding, okay?"

He jerks his head in a nod and I make quick work of wrapping the jacket around his shoulder wound. All the while he grunts under his breath and squeezes his eyes shut, fighting the pain I know he's in.

"I'm okay," he rasps. He cranes his head to the side, panting. "What the fuck is going on?"

I follow his line of sight. Father is still curled up on the ground and looks seconds away from passing out himself. Mother has her gun pinned in his direction despite both Cavallo and Axel holding their guns up to her. She ignores them, seething down at Father and clearly on her own agenda.

"Put your guns down!" I yell at them. "That's my mother!"

"And she's supposed to be dead," Cavallo accuses with clear suspicion. He narrows his eyes on her. "Forgive me for being untrusting at the moment."

Mother finally tears her gaze away long enough to look at him. "And who are you?"

"Boss. Where the fuck did you come from?"

"Boss?" Mother repeats, ignoring his question. "Lorenzo Cavallo is Boss."

"He died two years ago. I'm his son."

"Your father was a despicable man. He helped Patrizio orchestrate my death. Don't expect me to answer to you."

My father orchestrated her death?

"I have been working to undo his mistakes," Cavallo growls back. "There's only so much of his fuckery I can tackle at one time. How about explaining yourself and making this easier on all of us?"

Neither of them budges. Mother really has changed. I always remembered her as a meek and dutiful woman. A simple house wife like most mafia women. For her to stand toe-to-toe with Cavallo is hard to believe. Not only is he a few years older than her, but he is Boss and she technically has to answer to him. But it doesn't seem like she'll be doing that anytime soon.

"Gianna." Father's croak takes all of our attention. He gapes at Mother like he's seeing a ghost. "What..."

"Oh, Patrizio." Mother walks to him with calm and slow steps. Her expression is both stoic and deadly. "How I dreamed of putting that very bullet through you. The only reason you're alive right now is so I can enjoy your pain just a little longer."

Jesus. Who is this woman?

I can't tell if Father blanches because of the blood he's lost or because he's seeing his supposedly dead wife. "I don't understand."

Mother smiles, a cold and unkind curl of her lips. "And I don't care to explain. You will die never knowing the answers, your soul forever restless and fighting for peace. You lose."

Panic flashes across his face and then a sick fury. He reaches for the gun he dropped to the floor and my heart sinks when he raises it with alarming speed, despite his injuries. Pure desperation gave him one last burst of adrenaline and I'm afraid he might use it in the nick of time. To kill her for real this time.

Cavallo reacts immediately, tackling my father back to the floor and wrestling for the gun. He pins him down and jams his elbow into his temple, following it up with a harsh punch to his jaw. Father tries to throw one back but Cavallo is quicker, grabbing his arm and twisting it at a harsh angle that earns Father's scream.

"Patrizio!"

My head snaps in the direction of an unfamiliar voice. Father's right-hand man, Sergio, comes running toward us and doesn't hesitate to fire his gun in Cavallo's direction.

"Get him!" Father screams back. "Him!"

Him? My stomach sinks in dread when Sergio aims his gun at me instead, lowering it until it's pointed at Knox.

"Drop it, culo!" Axel demands, firing back at Sergio.

Sergio is forced to redirect his gun to Axel, who runs right into the line of fire and dodges every bullet before kicking the gun out of Sergio's hand and grabbing him in a headlock. He forces Sergio's head up, his other hand coming up to drag a knife across his throat in one slick motion. A wave of nausea hits me at the sight of blood seeping from Sergio's neck, and I have to look away when Axel grasps him by the jaw and temple, snapping his head unnaturally and letting his lifeless body hit the ground.

"Oh God." I roam my shaking hands over Knox's body. "Your gun. Where is your gun?"

"Left side," he directs in a raspy breath. "You gonna shoot?"

"If I have to. Tell me what to do."

"You take off the safety from here. Use both hands or the kickback will ruin your shot. Aim with your dominant eye. You can do this."

I'm not so sure but I nod and take his gun out of his holster. "Yeah. Okay."

I take off the safety and hold the gun up in front of me, gripping it tight. My gaze lands on Father who's managed to pin Cavallo down, the gun in his hand again. He knocks a punch into Cavallo's jaw and points then gun at Mother just as she heads for him. No.

I don't even think. My finger presses the trigger just as I aim for Father's hand. The bullet hits his gun instead and it knocks out of his hand, cartwheeling into the air and far from Father's reach. Good enough. He swings his eyes to mine and they burn with rage and disbelief. I glare back, hard and unblinking. Fuck him.

He screams in outrage and Mother moves in a flash, swinging a kick to his chest wound that visibly knocks his breath out of him before holding him down on the grass. She moves with deadly grace, like she's done this a million times. With one forearm digging into his throat and stopping his breath and another arm holding a gun to his temple, she stares down at him as if she's been waiting for this moment. Father stares up at her, wide-eyed and in disbelief. Despair. Most importantly, defeat.

"This is for Carmella." Her voice is steel but there's a quiver in there somewhere. "For me. For them. Go to hell, bastardo."

My breath catches in my throat when she fires her gun and Father's entire body goes limp a moment later. The grass beneath him is coated in red in seconds and his open eyes stare up at the sky unblinkingly. Dead. Holy shit.

Mother's icy glare finally crumbles and her eyes pinch shut, her head falling back in relief. I want to go to her but I can't fathom what just happened, my mind still trying to process where she came from and who she is. She's my mom but at the same time she isn't. I stay where I am, keeping my hand on Knox's wound and meeting his gaze that looks just as wary as mine.

She gets off Father's dead body and stumbles, as if coming off a high. Cavallo catches her by the elbow and Mother straightens up again, yanking her arm away and pinning him with an accusative glare.

"I've got it," she says through gritted teeth.

Cavallo's jaw locks in return. hands dropping to his sides again. "I know."

Axel intervenes when they find themselves in another stare down. "All due respect, but how do you expect to defend yourself against the mafia for killing the goddamn consigliere?"

Mother's gaze shifts to him. "You soldiers and your obsessive nature. Rest assured, I have more than enough evidence."

"Like what?"

"You'll know soon," she answers vaguely. She turns around, her eyes finding Knox. "We have more pressing matters right now."

She's right. I look down at Knox who can barely keep his eyes open. I can tell he's fighting like hell to stay awake. He hasn't stopped since she spoke his mother's name. I'm not sure which of us is more desperate for answers at this point.

"The doctor is here." My shoulders sag in relief and Cavallo looks down at his phone. "So are the rest of the Capo's. This isn't over yet."

No, it isn't.

As soon as he says it, Cavallo's front lawn starts flooding with men. I don't care about them. I anxiously scope out the doctor and nearly cry in relief when he comes into view, a heavy duffel bag at his side as he approaches us. He takes one look at Knox from over his glasses and curses under his breath.

"Help me get him transported," he snaps at Axel and Cavallo. "Now."

"Stand aside, Maria," Cavallo urges gently and takes over for me, holding the jacket covering the wound.

"Wait." Panic seizes my lungs. Knox looks delirious, soaked in sweat and his eyes out of focus. I don't think he can even hear us. "Let me come with you."

"We will take care of him. Go."

"No! I need to be with him. He doesn't have anyone."

Cavallo smooths my hair down gently. "I will make sure nothing happens to him, bimba. He is a friend to me too. You have my word, va bene?"

"Please," I whisper to him and grip his hand desperately. "Don't let him die."

He nods solemnly, giving my forehead a quick kiss and then leaving with the doctor and Knox, who was placed on a stretcher.

There's a boulder in my throat as I watch him being taken away. I hold a hand out to Axel who's sitting and catching his breath. A deep gash runs along his forehead and there's some bruising on the rest of his face. Even so, his eyes are sharp and alert and ready for another fight at any given moment.

"Your phone," I order. His brows come together and I wave my hand impatiently. "Now, soldier."

One brow barely inches up in surprise but he listens and hands his phone to me, unlocking it. I go through his contacts until I find who I'm looking for and dial the number. I don't expect him to pick up but am sick with disappointment when the call goes straight to voicemail.

"Felix," I plead softly when I'm instructed to leave a message. "I know you're not my biggest fan but you need to be here. Knox was shot and it doesn't look so good. Don't let me be the reason you're not with your brother when he needs you most. And my father...Patrizio is dead. Please come home. Your brother will always need you more than he needs me. Please."

The phone beeps when my time expires. I reluctantly hand the phone back to Axel who looks just as somber as I feel.

"You must really love him," he says after a moment and I know he's referring to Knox.

I look in the direction of Cavallo's car just as it peels out of the driveway, taking my heart right with them. "Yeah."

"Mari?"

Mother crouches in front of me and I hold my breath at her proximity. God, up close there is no denying that she's here. That she's alive and this hasn't been one big fever dream. I tentatively reach my hand out to touch the scar on her face and she smiles, leaning into my palm. My heart stutters painfully from her touch. I never thought I could touch her again.

"Can I hug you?" I croak desperately.

Her face crumples then and she throws her arms around me. The scent of her hits me fiercely and brings a rush of memories I thought I'd forgotten about. I'm hugging my mother, I think. How many times did I wish upon a star for the chance to hug her again?

I can't control my sobs as I bury my face into the crook of her shoulder. Her embrace feels as safe as I remembered it to be. She squeezes me tight and I hear her crying softly into my ear too.

"Mama," I whisper, clutching her harder. "Oh God, Mama. You came back."

She laughs and cries, stroking my hair the way she once used to, convincing me that maybe everything will be okay. "My darling, I never left."

__________________________

A/N

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR A MILLION READS ALREADY?! Besties, if y'all show Felix's book this much love too I might die!

Anyway, drop a fucking party hat cause Ferrera is finally dead. And for y'all with trust issues I promise he's gone. It's done for real.

WOW, what a rollercoaster. I know a lot of you were 50/50 on wanting either Knox to kill Ferrera or Maria but plot fucking twist—the honour went to the mother instead, who is alive and has a lot to explain.

I know we're tense about Knox. I won't reveal what will become of him of course. The finish line is in sight with ONE MORE WEEK of updates left only :(

Please VOTE, comment and share if you liked this chapter!

Happy Reading :)