Today went by pretty fast and now we had a week off for Spring Break. It just so happened that Andrea also was on break from school. I had begged my Grandparents for me to go back home to stay the week with Andrea, but they wouldn't agree to it. But somehow her parents said that it would be great for her to come here as long as someone could pick her up at the airport. So they agreed that Isaiah could drive me to the airport to pick her up.

"What time is the plane going to be arriving?" Isaiah asked a little annoyed. He looked out the window at all the planes coming and going.

"It should be getting here soon. Thanks for bringing me here." Even though I knew that he had nothing better to do; I could tell that he was getting very impatient.

He just shook his head for the compliment.

Over the intercom, came the lady's voice saying that flight 103 has just arrived. I waited anxiously for her to get off of the plane. And then there she was. She looked like the same old Andrea. Her hair was still long and swayed down her back. She was wearing a pink Hard Rock Café shirt with a darker shade of mini-skirt with a purse and shoes to match. I waved up high in the air and called out for her, "Andrea, Andrea over here."

"Oh! My, I didn't recognize you at first. Look at your hair." She stopped to fluff up my hair. "I see your still wearing black." She gave me a hug and fiddled with my hair some more.

I hugged her back. "Yeah! How was the trip?" I changed the subject.

"It was cool." She looked behind her as if to be looking for someone.

"Is everything ok?" And that's when I seen them, Adam and Jake. I wasn't expecting to see the two of them. I stood there frozen, emotions ran through my body. I can't believe that Jake was here. I wonder why she didn't tell me they were coming. "What...?" Maybe she just wanted to surprise me. Well she got what she wanted.

"I know what you are thinking." She couldn't help noticing my facial expression. "But you see they found out that I was coming. Alright I kinda told them and anyway they requested to come to. They are planning to stay at a hotel for the week. They just wanted to see you Shayla. I hope that it's all right? Look at it this way we are together for the week just like before."

"I.....I.....guess it will be all right."I said as Adam came over and gave me a big hug. He still looked the same except his hair was a little longer. Looks like he was trying to do that new wave look with the hair. He was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a football jersey.

"Girl you still look good." The old familiar hug felt so good. He as well had to play with my hair.

"Whatever." I smiled at him. "It's good to see you."

"Likewise." He grinned for ear to ear.

Jake stood back for a few seconds just looking at me. I stared hard into his eyes and then looked away. I wanted to be with him so bad. I needed to be with him. I could tell that he had still been working out, my how he still looked so fine, in his jeans and t-shirt that showed his muscles. I was in la-la land until I noticed Isaiah's expression, that same look that he had given me the night that I was with Landon. He looked dumbfounded, shocked by the way that I was looking at Jake. I knew it hurt him to see me like this. He knew that I was still in love with him and the sad thing is, is that there is nothing that he could do to change those feelings.

Jake started to walk over to me and he set his bags down beside his feet. His hands reached out to grab a hold of mine. He gazed at every aspect of me as if he was searching for the real Shayla behind all the black make-up, the black dyed hair, the black clothing. My eyes began to tear up and then he hugged me close to him. He held onto me so tight; like to see if I was really there or not. I felt his breathe in my hair as his chest expanded and decreased. He smelled my neck and right behind my right ear, looking for that old familiar smell. I thought that I was going to melt right there. His arms were so warm, so comforting; I felt so safe. I didn't want this moment to end. But he finally let go of me.

"So who is this?" he asked as if to say 'is this the new guy you're seeing'.

I had almost forgot all about Isaiah. I looked around and then motioned for him to come over a little closer to introduce him. "This is Isaiah; he is a friend of mine. He's giving us a ride back home." I turned to look at Isaiah. "Oh! Isaiah, look I didn't know that Adam and Jake were coming. I hope you don't mind giving them a ride back home. They are going to stay at a hotel for the week." I could tell that he was not impressed whatsoever.

"Nice to meet ya." He held out his hand and shook Adam's hand and then Jake's. But I could tell that he really didn't want to give them a ride, yet he would do it for me.

As we got into the car, I heard him mumble something under his breath but when I asked him he said it was nothing. He was quiet all the way back home, while we all chatted about school and the old crew that I hung out with. I heard all the gossip that had been going on in the past few months. Isaiah pulled into the nearest hotel for them to check in. As they got out so did I.

"Where are you going?" Isaiah asked reaching out for my hand, as if I needed permission.

I pulled away from him giving him an evil eye. "I thought we could wait for them to check in. Maybe go to the room and chat or we could go to the café and chat if you want."

Isaiah gave me attitude, "That wasn't the deal Shayla. Your Grandparents are waiting on you. They didn't say anything about hanging out in town."

I rolled my eyes at him gritting my teeth together. "Come on Isaiah, I haven't seen them in months." I could tell he was getting mad. "Fine I will call and ask them permission." I said annoyed with him. I dialed the number from my purple cell.

Grandma answered, "Hello." I loved hearing her sweet voice.

"Hey, Gram's, we just picked up Andrea and I wanted to know if it would be all right if I stayed in town for a little while, maybe go to the café or something?"

"Just make sure your home by ten sweetie," she replied.

Isaiah glared at me. I knew what he was thinking. I wasn't technically telling the truth. I was really getting annoyed with him. "Oh by the way Gram's, Andrea brought along Adam and Jake from back home with her. They are getting a room at the hotel for the week, but I will be bringing Andrea back with me, is it still alright if we hang out for a while."

I heard her breath in deep. I could tell just by the sound that she was not pleased, just the thought of me being out with two boys that she has never met. "I guess it will be all right, just make sure you're here by ten and don't forget to have her call her parents to let them know that she made it here."

"Thanks Grams." I clicked the cell off and smiled at Isaiah. "Apparently it's alright with her." I closed the cell and popped it back into my back pocket with attitude.

I waited for them to check in. Isaiah was not happy that I wanted to be with Jake. "I'll see you later Shayla."

"You're leaving? I thought you would stick around," I said somewhat disappointed. However maybe it was better if he was just gone.

"I got things to do. Maybe you could call Brooke or Kylie to come get you." He snarled as he started up the ignition.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I guess so." I watched as Isaiah drove off. Then I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders.

The sound of his voice made my heart melt. "Where is your friend going?"

"He claims that he has things to do; looks like it is just us. So what do you want to do?" I put on a smile.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into him. "Let's go to the room for a while."

"Sure." We walked around the back and up to the second floor. Adam got out the card and opened the door. The room had two double beds. The comforters had a floral design with two landscape pictures above the headboards. The room was rather small. It had just enough room to go between the beds and the TV stand. Adam and Andrea sat on the one bed and Jake tossed his things on the floor by the other bed. I sat down beside him. We talked for a little longer and then Jake and I knew that Adam was trying to hint to us that he wanted to be alone with Andrea. So we went out for a walk around the town and ended up at the café.

We sat in the booth in the far back corner. We ordered a basket of fries and chicken fingers. We didn't talk much while we ate. Maybe we just couldn't find the right words so we mainly just looked into each others' eyes trying to figure out who we were.

"So your hair looks, uhm short."

"Yeah, do you like it? I got it cut right before Thanksgiving and I kinda like it. It's easier to take care of and I kinda got attached to the color as well. My Grandparents don't really care for it though."

"It's different alright." He dipped his fry into the ketchup and stuffed his mouth.

"So, how is football going?"

"It's going. So how do you like it here?"

"I don't. Well I have made a few friends I guess. Really miss my old life. I miss you."

"Yea, me too." He took a few more bites and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Let's get out of here."

"Alright." I grabbed my purse and we left.

We walked back to the room, hopefully whatever Andrea and Adam were up to they were done. I had hoped that he would kiss me but something was stopping him from it. If this had been a few months ago he would have kissed me, nothing would have stopped him.

I knocked on the door. "Hey, Andrea are you about ready I got to get home?"

"I guess so." She opened the door. She hugged Adam one last time as if she wasn't going to see him again.

Adam and Jake said simultaneously, "See ya girls tomorrow."

I had called Brooke to come get us and she took me back to my Grandparents house. I invited her up to my room to hang out with us but she had to get back home. I am so glad that the two of them finally got to meet each other. Andrea and I talked half of the night. I found out that she and Adam were really really in love with each other. They were already talking about getting married right after high school and then go to the same college together. We stayed up half of the night and finally it got to the better of us and we were both asleep by three in the morning.

The next day we rode into town and picked the guys up in Grandpa's car. We drove around the small town. I pointed out different places. There was not much to do in this small town. So I took them out in the middle of nowhere and got out to walk.

"I like to come here sometimes, it's quiet out here." They followed part of the way on the trail in the woods.

"You got that right," smirked Adam. He grabbed Andrea's hand and took off in the woods. "We need some alone time guys, see ya later."

"Watch out for poison oak," I laughed as they trailed off into the woods ahead of us.

I walked to a clearing; Jake followed behind me. "Where are you going?" he asked.

"You'll see just follow me." I ended up by the river and sat down on an overturned tree.

He smiled looking around. "It's nice out here."

"Yeah, it is." I looked up at him. I just wanted him to hold me, to hold me close to his heart. "The sky is so blue not a cloud in it; I feel at peace here."

He sat down beside me, keeping his hands to himself. His eyes sparkled of hazel. His hair glistened in the sunlight. He was like an angel. His voice so angelic, "I have missed you so much, Shayla."

"I have missed you too." My eyes exposed my feelings. I knew that there was something different about him. Maybe his heart belonged to another now.

His hand was so smooth against my cheek, wiping the stranded tear that cried for him. He cupped my check in his hand. "I have never seen you this way. You're not happy. I should have told you that I was coming but I wanted to surprise you."

"That you did, but I am glad that you came." I smiled, nibbling on my bottom lip.

"Me too." He put his arms around me, pulling me into him.

"I have missed you," I said again as if he didn't hear me the first time.

He did not reply. He held on to me though. It felt so good wrapped in his arms. I looked up and kissed his lips, but he jerked away at first. Forbidden lips that apparently belonged to another now.

"What's wrong?" But I knew what was really wrong; I just wanted to hear him say it. Andrea had already filled me in on everything.

"Nothing." He stood up hastily.

"I'm sorry. Why can't things stay the same between us? I miss the way we were." I sounded a little persistent, but it was the truth I wanted us to be the way we were before the accident. I started to cry. "I miss you, your lips, your arms around me, the way we use to stay up late talking. I miss everything. You don't even look at me the way you use too. Have we changed that much in the past few months? God it kills me to be in your arms and not be able to kiss you."

I waited for him to talk, but nothing. He was so quiet lost in his thoughts.

"You have moved on haven't you? Who is it that holds your heart Jake? Who is it that kisses your lips now?" I bit my bottom lip harder this time almost tasting the blood, waiting for the reply, while the tears over filled my eyes. It upset me even more when he did not answer. "Forget it, just forget it...." I took off running back to the car. I knew that we would never be together again. It was officially over. I should have known after all I did tell him to move on, I guess it all just finally clicked that it was truly over.

He ran after me, catching me half way back to the car. I fell and skinned up my knee on a tree root. He turned me over on my back and I started to slam my fist into his chest. He fought off my swaying arms and took hold of them, pinning them down into the ground. I was exhausted from the fighting; my chest flared up and down. He hovered over me and within seconds his lips were touching mine. Warm, intense, moist lips. His hands let go of my arms and found their way around my head, tangled in my hair. I felt the whole world around me spin in circles, even though this was not the Jake that use to be mine. Was he kissing me now because he wanted to or that he needed to for me.

"Hey is everything alright, we heard you guys shouting." Andrea called out as she came out of the woods.

But when they got up closer to us, Adam just laughed, "Sorry for interrupting, dude."

Jake glared into my eyes for a second and then blinked as if he didn't know what overcame him. He got up and dusted his pants off. Then held out his hand for me to grab so that I could get up, but I didn't take it; I was a big girl and I certainly didn't need anything from him anymore.

"Sorry we interrupted; continue we will leave you guys alone."

Jake just shook his head. "No problem man you didn't interrupt anything." He glared back over in my direction.

We got in the car and I took them back to my Grandparents house. They were all dying to meet them. Who knows why? Andrea and Adam sat in the back and Jake looked out the window the whole time not even bothering to look my way. When we got there I introduced them to my grandparents and of course Grandma already had supper fixed for all of us. We ate supper with my Grandparents and then went up to my bedroom.

"So this was your mother's room?" Andrea sat down by the vanity looking around.

"Yeah."

Jake sat down on the bed. "I guess we have been talking so much about us we haven't even asked about you."

"There's nothing to tell."

They looked around the room. Then Adam saw a picture of all of us on the vanity. Beside it was another picture of the guys from the play. "Who are these guys?"

"Oh! I was in the school play and that is the cast."

Andrea picked it up and looked at it real close. Last night when she was over she didn't even bother to look around the room. We were too busy catching up on everything. "So is this him?"

I knew who she had pointed out; who could have missed it but I asked anyway, "Who?"

"Landon, he is cute," she squealed.

"Yeah! That's him." I tried not to look over at Jake to see his expression. "He played Tony. I was Maria."

She pointed to a different guy. "Is this Mr. Foster?" She said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah!"

"He is totally cute; how old is he?" She asked as if I haven't already told her weeks ago when I tried to explain the night of the play and the other days about that teacher.

"I hear he is twenty-four, twenty-five, something like that," I replied.

"Too bad I'm not in his class. How did you pass that up?"

I jerked the picture out of her hand and threw it on the dresser face down. "Because he is a teacher Andrea and I am considered jailbait besides do you really think that I would want to be with that."

The guys caught onto the topic quick. "That teacher has a thing for you?" Jake reached for the picture but I got in his way.

"It's nothing, never was. Can we change the subject, please?"

"That depends do you have a thing for your teacher?" Jake asked.

"NO!" I looked away from him.

"But he has a thing for you then; did he say something or do something to you?" His eyes flared up. "I'll kill him if he has laid a hand on you."

"I said no, so drop the subject." I glanced over at Andrea wondering if she might have said something but I could tell that she hadn't.

"So have you been on any dates since you been here?" Adam quickly changed the subject off ot the teacher deal. "Anyone serious that we should know about?" Adam asked as if he was my older brother, my protector.

It felt awkward talking about this, even though I knew I had to clear it up. "I go out with Isaiah sometimes but he is just a good friend. I wished that he would have stuck around a little longer yesterday so that you guys could have actually talked. We met in therapy, long story. Anyway, I went out with Landon two or three times but it's not just with him it's like with the whole crew, all of his friends and his girl friend. So it's not like I really have been seeing anyone. A part of me doesn't want to let go of the past I guess. It's hard to be with someone else when someone already holds your heart." I slowly looked over at Jake.

There was a knock at the door. Grandma opened the door, peering inside. "It's getting late; I think you need to take the boys back to the hotel."

"Alright." I didn't argue with her.

I drove them back into town, not even paying attention to the direction I was going. As I went over the small rise in the rode I pulled over.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked.

"Is something wrong with the car?" asked Adam, pulling away from Andrea's lips.

I got out and walked up a little ways. I had left the headlights on so I could see. The three of them got out. Adam leaned up against the hood of the car. Andrea went out to get me, but Adam pulled her back. Jake walked quietly behind me. I stopped in front of the three crosses that were on the side of the road. Three crosses marking the accident, marking their life. Marking their death.

The sky was crystal clear with thousands of stars and a full moon just over head. The air was crisp and smelled of wild honey-suckles. I looked around and then walked to the middle of the road; I didn't even bother to see if anything was coming or not.

"This is it. There was a solid sheet of black ice covering the road right here." I pointed. "There was a cow here right in the middle of the black ice. I think he was stuck. He couldn't go back and he couldn't go forward." Kinda like how I was at the moment. "My father was arguing with me as usual. The stupid dreams, you know how they always got me into trouble. Boy did it get me in trouble that day. The impact was so hard; I should have died with them. I was thrown over there." I pointed into the empty field. "Josh was still alive. But then a truck came speeding so fast and he hit the black ice slamming hard into the car. I guess that impact killed Josh. But me, I'm still here. I live with this every day. I live with her every day. She wants me, but I don't know where to find her."

Jake went to put his arms around me, but I pulled away from him. "Who wants you Shayla?" he asked.

"Sorry, I'm just rambling. I just thought you guys would want to see. Everyone does. Everyone wants to know about the accident and how it's possible that I survived."

"I'm sorry Shayla. We are sorry that this had to happen." He spoke for the three of them. "You are still having dreams aren't you?" he asked again. When I lived back at home and we were dating he knew when I had a bad dream. I could tell him everything back then. There were a few nights that he would just hold me so close to him, protecting me.

"No. They are not dreams anymore," I paused looking back down at the pavement, "they are nightmares." I walked back over to the car and got in. They all got in and I drove them into town, no one talked the rest of the way.

That night I did have another dream or nightmare as I said before. I was talking in my sleep, tossing and turning. Andrea woke me up.

"Shayla wake up! Shayla!" She shook me. "You're having another dream."

I woke up startled with her over me. Sweat had beaded up on my forehead.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I'm alright; go back to sleep." But I did not go to sleep and honestly I don't think she did either.

On the last day of their visit, Jake had wanted to be alone with me. Adam and Andrea went to a movie and we stayed back at the hotel. We snuggled up on the bed. It felt good just to have him hold me. I talked to him about me going to therapy and how I met Isaiah. How he was really a good friend to talk to. He had asked about Landon, so I gave him the scoop of the relationship as well. I was repeating myself from earlier conversations in the week, apparently he was not listening earlier. So I changed the subject.

"Jake you still hold my heart. I love you. I don't think I could ever just let you go." I snuggled closer to him, practically sitting in his lap.

"You know what they say about long distance relationships Shay. They don't work."

"Why not?" I questioned; even second guessing myself.

"They just don't. I went a whole week crying over you."

"You cried over me?" I was a little blown away. Jake rarely cried as a matter of fact I can't even recall a time that he ever did.

"I loved you Shay. I thought you were just leaving for the week, not forever. I had to face the facts, face reality."

"Which is?"

"Shay, don't make me say it. Let's drop it. This is my last night here and I just want to be with you. I want you."

"I want you too but...."

"Shhhh....." He placed his finger over my mouth and started kissing me again. He wanted me and I would have to admit I wanted him as well. I wanted all of him. I just stopped thinking; it was like so surreal. It was magical, Jake kissing me over and over. A few times I had to catch my breath. He was so gentle yet powerful. He made everything go away. For once I didn't feel anything. I wasn't scared. I wasn't upset or alone. I was in awe. I wanted all of him and I didn't want it to end, ever.

It was about five minutes afterwards that I wished it never happened. What was I thinking? It all started with the apology.

"I shouldn't have done that; I can't do this to you, Shayla." His own thoughts were torturing his mind.

"What are you talking about Jake; it was absolutely wonderful. I think I love you even more. I want all of you, Jake. The kissing and touching is great but I want more."

He got up from the bed and started putting his shirt back on. "That's just it Shayla. Don't you get it? What are the odds that we will see each other again?"

"There's always summer break. And one more year we will go off to college. We can be together, Jake. We can be together like we had promised each other months ago. You said nothing could ever come between us."

"I wish it was that simple. God I love you." He fastened his jeans, the jeans that never got the opportunity to come off all the way.

"Then what is the problem? Why does it have to be so complicated?" Devastation hit hard in the bottom of my stomach. The tears came so easily now, was he really rejecting me now.

"Look, I just wanted to see you again; I didn't expect to sleep with you and I'm not going to. It's just not the time."

That threw me for a loop. So he didn't really want to sleep with me. There was someone else. "Who is she, Jake?" I demanded to know. I wanted him to tell me, not Andrea.

"What are you talking about?" He looked away from me, pretending that I had no clue that he was in love with someone else.

"You know damn well what I'm talking about; who is the one who holds your heart? Andrea told me that you moved on and said that I should do the same. Who is she?"

He looked away from me, somewhat ashamed that he had wanted me, but still had feelings for another. "She's just a girl from school. We have been dating for over two months."

"Oh! So what was this?" I asked a little disappointed.

He didn't say anything.

I threw a pillow at him. Then reached down to pick up one of his shoes and tossed that at his head as well. He dodged both of them.

"I'm sorry." He apologized again.

"Sorry for what?" I yelled. "Sorry because you wanted me to believe that you still loved me. Sorry because my family is gone. Sorry because we live miles away from each other and we will never ever be together again or sorry because you knew this would hurt me." I grabbed up my shirt and ran to the bathroom. He tried to reach out for me as I walked past him. "Don't touch me." I pointed my finger directly into his face.

"I didn't mean...." His fist slammed hard into the door that I shut in his face. "I didn't mean for this to happen," he yelled.

I came out fully dressed. I didn't look at him as I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. He came up behind me shutting the door back so he could unlock the chain part. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Please forgive me."

I took a deep breath. "You know what Jake, I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you never forget the way I feel, the way I smell, the way I look deep into your soul. I hope you never forget that I once loved you. It's over Jake, go home."

"Shayla....." He begged.

But I didn't answer. I didn't turn around. I got in the car and went home.

I texted Andrea: SORRY, HAD FIGHT W/ JAKE. I WILL PICK U UP N THE MORNING. LOVE U. SHAY.

The next day I drove into town and picked them up at the hotel. I drove all the way to the airport hardly saying a word.

Andrea finally broke the silence, "Alright what happened last night between the two of you?"

I glance in the rearview mirror; Jake was looking out the window ignoring the whole conversation. "Nothing; it's over," I whispered.

"What's over Shay?

I nudged my shoulders. "Can we talk about this later?"

"Sure." She looked back at Jake for a clue of what was going on but he did not respond to her.

When we arrived at the airport, the guys got out and carried their luggage in. Andrea walked with me to the terminal. We hugged before she had to go.

"I'm glad you came Andrea. Call me."

"Sorry about bringing Jake; he begged me to come. What happened Shay?"

I put on a fake smile. "Nothing, really it's nothing." I threw my arms tight around her, holding back the tears. The last thing I needed was for her to worry about me. "Have a safe trip back home."

Adam gave me a quick hug. "Take care of yourself."

"Same to you." I watched as he went back over to Andrea to comfort her. She was already getting all teary eyed and wiped her face with part of his shirt.

Jake stood only a few feet from me. We stared at each other, knowing what the other was thinking. As he walked over to me, I lowered my head, burying my face into his chest.

His voice so soft, in a whisper, "I'm sorry for hurting you."

"No, you were only being honest with me. It would never have worked out. For crying out loud you are there and I am here and things change. I'm different now." We were totally opposite and both of us knew it. He was still the star football jerk and me well I see things in a different prospective now.

He pulled me away from him, looking directly into my eyes. "That's not what I meant."

"But it is. You see, you need to be with that girl. She holds your heart now. I don't hold it anymore. I will never be the one for you Jake; besides I've seen parts to the future I know what I have to do."

"Which is?"

I bit my bottom lip, pushing him a little farther away, "Don't worry about me Jake, I can handle just about anything. Take care of yourself." I stepped a few steps back, watching his reaction.

They announced the flight over the intercom. I watched as they boarded the plane, waving and yelling, "bye." Jake waited till the last minute to get on. As I turned around to leave, I felt his arm on my shoulder. He turned me around and looked deep within my thoughts.

"I know you Shay; what are you going to do?"

"Go home," I said.

"No, you said you knew what you had to do. What do you have to do?" He demanded to know.

"Why should you care?" I whispered, patting him on the arm.

"Because a part of me still loves you. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you." I could see his wheels turning inside that brain of his. "It has to do with the dreams, doesn't it?"

I tried to brush him off like yesterdays news. "You wouldn't understand Jake. Don't worry about me. Go home."

"But!"

Apparently he just doesn't get it so I said it in slow motion, "GO HOME!" I didn't wait for him to get on the plane. I had turned and took off running through the airport, letting him watch the back side of me disappear into the crowd.