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This chap is affectionately dedicated to -
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"At the end of the day, you can either focus on what's tearing you apart or what's holding you together..........................."

Having a hectic day both emotionally and physically was too much for Manjiri. Though everything was done properly, but still few things were still there to be taken care of. She was lucky to get some spare time to at least change her clothes, otherwise it would have been more difficult for her to wrap up all the chores in that heavy attire.

She wasn't complaining, she did enjoy a lot doing everything for her sister's special day but the only thing which was taking a toll on her was the sleepover of a few guests at their place.

Manjiri didn't have any problem with their staying but she did have a problem with the way they were wanting her to spend some with them. They were probing her unnecessary questions from time to time. Their curiosity regarding her family was something which she had a problem in welcoming.

In the form of blessings, Manjiri also did receive a lot of judgemental looks and comments.

Few sympathised, few threw rude questions and a few offered needless suggestions to her.

'You're fortunate that you got married in such a descent family. You too need to prove yourself suitable for this family, beta.'

'You look very younger than Shaurya. Change your dressing style a bit so that you both wouldn't look odd together.'

'So now you got no one at your maternal house? No uncles or aunts either?'

'You don't do any job, right?'

'Oh so you aren't qualified much as of now. Does Shaurya pay for your college fee or your sister?'

'You must have got something in possession after your grandmother's demise, right? Like her savings, jewellery and property.'

'Suniti's daughter-in-law always stays quite. No offense but quite ones are the most dangerous. Beware Suniti!'

'Since Dev had already chosen Sam for him. Shaurya used to get many marriage proposals. I too had sent my distant niece's proposal for him but both Suniti Bhabhi and Anubhav Bhaisahab had not shown any interest. Who knew that this girl was going to be the lucky one.'

'Your height isn't much. You even seem shorter than your sister. Do wear heels whenever you go out with Shaurya as he got a descent height.'

'Suniti, it looks like your daughter-in-law would indirectly punish you by making you wait so much. You could only get to hear the good news once she finishes up her degrees, gets a job and then plans for the children. Kids these days literally take a lot of time. They least care about elders' aspirations and whims.'

'Does she too go to Chandigarh with Shaurya every time? No? Then that's good otherwise girls these days hardly prefer staying with in-laws as they need freedom.'

While walking back to the room, Manjiri felt disturbed and even more conflicted than ever. Switching off the lights of the stairs, soon she found herself inside her room. It was late. Though nobody was forcing her to sit with those guests, but she herself doesn't wanted to give any of them yet another reason for making up things. It was evident that many weren't able to digest the fact that why a girl who wasn't educated enough, had no proper job and qualifications, no wealthy family background was married in a family who had everything in abundance.

It looked like that he had fallen asleep. Room was dark. She slowly walked up to the bed and looked at him. His eyes were closed. He must have been tired, she thought. Picking up his specs and phone which he had placed beside his pillow, she placed them on the nightstand.

For a minute, she sat beside him in silence. His and her phone beeped together repeatedly. Dev had shared a number of photos on their group chat.

She downloaded a picture of Shaurya and her.

Was their pair really looked that odd?

Maybe, that lady was correct. Their match was incompatible. She was unworthy of him and that family.

A well educated and professional person like him deserved a partner suitable to him in every sense. Not someone like her. Someone better with the same profession, qualifications and family background like him. Someone with whom he doesn't look odd but like a ideal match.

She didn't know why but whenever she was picturing him with someone perfect, she was picturing him with Priyal. She was hating herself for it. But she was helpless. For some reason, Priyal's face only clicked her mind each time.

Priyal was better than her in every sense. Be it looks, qualifications, family background and nature. Priyal had her own identity whereas Manjiri believed that she herself had none. She was just Shaurya's wife, Adishri's sister or Suniti Mohan's daughter-in-law in the eyes of the outer world. She was nothing without that Mohan surname. Manjiri Rao's existence was over way back.

She placed away her phone with disinterest, on that same nightstand on which his phone was kept. She stared at his face aimlessly, replaying the events of the entire day. She couldn't stop thinking about it. The dull pain in her lower abdomen was not helping either. But her menstrual cramps weren't bothering her that much as much as other things were.

She felt drained. All her physical and emotional energy was sucked away. She didn't know why, but every time the past came up somehow she felt herself feel that pain all over again. Her emotions were all over the place, she felt overwhelmed to the point that she broke into silent sobs.

She got up, not in a mood to disturb his sleep and mood with her sobbing spree. She didn't know if she felt annoyed at him or herself.

Why wasn't she good enough to be suitable for him? Why wasn't she like Priyal?

Taking out a fresh sanitary napkin from her wardrobe, she walked to the washroom. She couldn't help but stare at her reflection in the mirror there. It wasn't that she wasn't trying, she had been making efforts willingly. She agreed she wasn't in the initial days of her marriage but now she was. Then where and why was she lacking?

She was done, so tired of it all. Her abdomen hurt. Hee eyes hurt too.

Perhaps she should talk to him, he might understand what she was feeling after all she had promised him that she would reach out to him if she would ever feel annoyed, frustrated or miserable. She shouldn't let it grow inside her. Talking to him might help her in calming her mind.

In the quiet of the night, she suddenly heard her phone ringing. She perfectly knew who it could be. He had called her half an hour ago too and at then she had asked him to call later as she was in between a few people.

Shaurya stirred in sleep with the sound of her phone's ringtone. Pulling out his hand from the blanket, he picked up her phone. His eyes travelled to read the name flashing on the screen - 'Jai Bhaiya'. He instantly placed the phone back with an audible huff, in no mood to think about that man.

He had made a mistake by picking up his call last time, he couldn't repeat that mistake.

Manjiri rushed out of the washroom and picked up the call. Shaurya pretended to sleep. He didn't know why but he did. She slowly made her way towards the balcony careful to make no noise.

Minutes later she walked in. She herself had only asked Jai to inform her about her uncle's medical reports. His few tests' reports were to come in the evening but due to the busyness of the day, she couldn't get a chance to call and ask for his reports.

Walking over to the bed, she climbed it.

"Who was it?"

She inaudibly gasped on hearing him question that. She thought he was sleeping but his sleep was away. Although he knew who was it, but still he wanted to check if she was in mood to tell him or not. And she didn't tell, in fact lied to him in an absolute careless manner.

"Umm... a friend."

"This late?"

He asked again turning towards her. He didn't like her lying to him. Why did she lie? Was she still scared of how he would react?

His hand reached to hers. She immediately pulled it away and turned her back towards him mumbling,

"So what? My friend can call me at anytime just like your friends call you whenever they want."

"You who read me........................ Are you sure of understanding my language?"

_

_

_

"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.........................."

The next morning Shaurya woke up late than his usual time. He couldn't sleep last night thinking about everything, Jai's call, Manjiri's lying and her consistent silent treatment.

She was up before him as usual but surprisingly she was still on the bed, all awake and lost. It looked like that she had taken bath. Her clothes were changed. It took him no time to understand that she was on her periods. Somehow he always knew it was her that time of the month without her having to spell it out.

"You ok?"

He asked getting up from the bed. She didn't respond or as even acknowledge his query. He was literally growing tired of her persistent rejection and lack of interest in having a proper chat with him. Her silent treatment was seriously getting on his nerves.

Taking an exhausted sigh inwardly, he made his way towards the washroom. While she curled up inside the blanket for a little more time.

By the time Shaurya came back to the room after taking a quick shower, Manjiri was up. She was talking to somebody on phone.

"Yeah, I feel better now. Will call you in the evening. Bye!"

"Looks like your friend is very concerned about you. Cares even more than me, right?"

Shaurya asked as she disconnected the call and passed him. He was combing his hair in front of the mirror.

She didn't say anything, just started at him wordlessly. What was he hinting at? Did he figure out who was it on the phone last night?

"It was Jai's call, am I right?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Really. It was Ruchika's call. You can check my phone if you don't believe me."

She muttered forwarding her phone to him. He turned and took her phone in his hand and kept it aside without even looking at it.

"No, that's fine. And what about yester night? Who was it?"

She lowered her gaze. He does know who was it. He sighed at her silence.

"Ok fine, don't tell me that. But may I ask why did you lie to me?"

"No, you can't. Why are you even asking when you won't believe my words anyway?"

She snapped, irritation evident in her tone.

"Of course it's not that. Silly Head, I didn't mean to say that..."

Stunned at the way she snapped like that, he tried to get a hang on the situation. But she appeared in no mood to hear him out.

"This is exactly the main problem. You don't say the actual things."

"What actual things should I say, you tell me if you know everything better than me."

He retorted. His gaze was piercing. She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. He blinked flustered gazing at her face.

"One moment it feels like there's no issue between us. And the very next moment it feels as if your eyes are constantly complaining me of something which I'm unable to figure out."

"I can also say the same thing, Shaurya. One moment it feels that I matter to you and the very moment it feels I mean nothing to you."

Something was boiling within her. He didn't have to guess that.

"What? Are your mental faculties ok?" He spoke up taking a helpless sigh, "Alright fine, I admit it's all my mistake but that doesn't mean you start hiding things from me."

"I didn't hide anything, it is you who... Ok fine. Let's say I'm purposely hiding things from you. What should be my punishment for hiding things then?"

She asked, her gaze pinning his and that was very unusual. He never saw her like that.

"What's wrong with you, Manjiri? Can we sit and talk?"

"No, I don't want to sit. In fact I'm in no mood to talk to you as well. You only play with my feelings and nothing else."

"Manjiri, please."

"What please?"

She said in a reply and turned away to walk away. But he held her arm to stop her.

"Firstly, behave yourself." He added drawing her closer to himself, "Secondly, you aren't wise enough in differentiating who plays with your feelings and who doesn't, so just keep your mouth shut in here. Cause if you were that smart then your condition and these circumstances would have been different."

Manjiri stared at him dumbfounded. Maybe, she shouldn't say like that. Hurt was glimmering in his eyes. But wasn't she hurt too? Her eyes too were gleaming with tears of anger and disappointment. Something within her dwindled and her voice grew weaker as she voiced wiping her eyes.

"Shaurya, you're day by day forgetting that I'm your wife. I can sense it."

He stared at her, freeing her arms from his hold. What was wrong with her? Did her brother empoison her mind? Her embittered state was too much for him to handle.

"What has gotten inside your head early in the morning?" He added plainly telling her, "It's not me, it's you. Yes, it's you, Manjiri, who has forgotten that you're my wife. You're forgetting just because you got your brother back now. I know you weren't ready to marry and just for the sake of your Dadi's last wish you had agreed to marry. But that doesn't mean, Manjiri, you start insulting me and our relation this way. I don't deserve your lies at least..."

"I haven't forgotten anything, Shaurya, nor I'm insulting our relation. Yes, this is true that I had got married upon Dii's insistence and Dadi's last wish but now am fulfilling this relation with the bottom of my heart and with full honesty. Trust me!"

She attempted to clarify in her defence, raising her gaze. She didn't want him to read it all wrong. She was trying, she was daily trying to fit in his life. Why couldn't anyone see that? Were her efforts that invisible?

He laughed out a hollow chuckle in response.

"Really! You are fulfilling it with full honesty? You are fulfilling it in such a manner that you're lying and hiding things every time whenever you meet or chat with your brother. I can count the number of times on my fingers now."

She sniffed, trying hard to hold back her tears. He was clearly misunderstanding everything. It was just that she didn't want him to stress. That was why she didn't tell him.

His tone grew softer as he later spoke out his irritation.

"Your husband, his words, his feelings, nothing matters to you in front of your those family bonds. And then you claim you respect our relation."

"Shaurya..."

"Manjiri, enough is enough. Now, I don't need any justifications. I'm already late. Thank you so much for such pleasant morning confessions and allegations."

Muttering that he stepped back. Picking up his necessary belongings, he walked out of the room but not before sulking to himself.

"Playing with feelings, my foot!"

Manjiri had sadness running down her cheeks. Why was it all hard for her? Was it all really her fault?

"When someone we love is having difficulty and is giving us a bad time, it's better to explore the cause than to criticize the action................................"

_

_

_

"Either grant me the bliss of the ignorant or give me the strength to bear the knowledge........................."

"Thank God! She decided to leave. She speaks a lot, isn't it?"

Mrs Kaveri Mohan asked Manjiri when a lady of their neighbourhood went back to her house. They were in their garden basking in the afternoon sunshine.

Whenever anybody from their neighbourhood used to see the eldest Mohan lady in her garden, it was kind of a ritual that someone or the other should stop by to talk to her and not leave before a having a tea and some snacks.

That lady too had spent a good one hour at their place and then left when it was time for her kids to return from their school. Surely she was a talkative lady but that day her talks struck a sympathetic chord with Manjiri.

"But she was correct, Dadi."

"I didn't get you, child."

The senior lady turned her head towards the younger one.

"Umm... I mean she was just hurt with her husband not showing up to her sister's daughter's marriage. Anyone would have been hurt in that position."

Manjiri vocalised staring at the bathua (Chenopodium album) leaves, she had been cleaning. Mrs Kaveri Mohan uttered.

"It's nothing like that. She was just exaggerating. Her husband is a good man..."

Cutting the older lady's speech in the middle, Manjiri explained politely.

"Dadi, I'm not saying that he's a wrong person. I'm just saying that no one expects men to adjust and compromise. If the same function would be at his side of family, wouldn't he want his wife to be present with him?"

Mrs Kaveri Mohan fall short of words at that. Manjiri continued when she got no response from the other side.

"I'm not generalizing this but it's true that mostly men's family always have edge over the women's family unless the lady is super rich or has over bearing parents."

Taking a slight pause, she added. Her eyes and hands still busy with the leafy vegetable placed before her.

"A guy is only concerned with his wife and not her family. Whereas a girl is required to be concerned with not only her husband but also his every family member and friend."

The older lady's shaky hand reached Manjiri's back. She looked at her concerned.

"What's the issue, child? Did anyone say anything to you? Shaurya said anything? Tell me..."

Almost instantly Shaurya's car approached and stopped before their house. Hardly had Mrs Kaveri Mohan and Manjiri could glance over the boundary wall, when Shaurya's mother came out from inside.

"He's back home so early today. Why so?"

Mrs Suniti Mohan looked at Manjiri when she quizzed that. Manjiri shook her head in negative. As if he always informs her of his prospective plans. Her mother-in-law should understand that his son's wife wasn't that important to his son.

"Shaurya, come here." When Manjiri heard Mrs Kaveri Mohan calling out for Shaurya, she got up picking up the plate of bathua in her hands. She was in no mood to face him. However, the older lady immediately spoiled her plan of going from there, "Where are you going now? Keep sitting!"

"Yes, Dadi. You called?"

Shaurya walked in where his grandmother, mother and wife were present. His grandmother smiled at him.

"Have a seat first. Take a breath." The older lady's smile grew wider when she noticed Shaurya looking at his wife from the corner of his eyes. Surely something off in between them. She could sense that. She added, "You weren't at breakfast table today, and you even left for work early today. So I thought I should ask you about what's going on."

"I had a few important things to be taken care of, that's why I had to leave, but I'm here now."

In response to Shaurya's words, his mother replied.

"If you will work so much then how will you be able to give time to your health and family?"

"Maa, Dadi, I'm with you now and I won't go anywhere. I'll give you all my time till 6 in the evening cause after that I'm supposed to be attending Arsh's wedding party."

When Shaurya said that Manjiri stole a quick glance at him. His mood looked comparatively better unlike the morning. So he came back early just because he was supposed to attend his friend's wedding. Of course his friends held more significance in his life than her. Who was she after all? Nothing and no one to him. How stupid was she to think that maybe he too was sorry for their morning's tiff and that was why he returned early.

Her mother-in-law resonated with her thoughts,

"Oh so that's why you came back home early today."

"Can say. That can also be a reason. But I was done with all my work early today. Due to strike, not much work is there after noon these days. So now all my time is for you both, alright?"

Shaurya passed a sly smile to his mother and grandmother together.

"But today we don't need your time. Sorry!" Mrs Kaveri Mohan informed him, "Dipti, Suniti and I have made plans for shopping today. Dev's wedding is not even two months away now. We need to start making the necessary arrangements before it gets too late. Cause once Ved's child is born, then we might hardly get any time."

"Oh! So then what now?"

Shaurya asked to no one in particular. Mrs Kaveri Mohan instantly replied.

"What then what? Miru is here. Spend some time with her. In fact take her out along with you in the evening."

"She?" Shaurya exclaimed chancing a glance at his wife. "She doesn't like spending time with me. So doing anything for her would be useless. You people take her for shopping along with you."

Not that Manjiri was willing to go with him somewhere but at least he could utter something pleasing to hear. What he wanted to show his mother and grandmother that he was fed up of her?

"Shut up, Shaurya! Miru will go with you and that's final. You both should now develop a habit of going to public gatherings together. We live in a society, learn a few societal norms at least."

Mrs Suniti Mohan finished with a tone of finality. Manjiri couldn't help but look at her mother-in-law. His mother could be somewhat dictatorial at times. No wonders from where did Shaurya earn that autocratic manner.

Soon she noticed Shaurya looking at her and muttering in a disinterested tone.

"Get ready on time, I'll take you."

Before Manjiri could think of how to respond at that, Mrs Kaveri Mohan spoke up to Shaurya in place of her.

"You said a pleasant thing. But you could have said that a little pleasantly as well. What say?"

Plastering a faux smile, Shaurya angled his neck towards Manjiri.

"Dadi's dearest Madam Manjiri, kindly get ready before 6. Cause I want you to accompany me to my friend's wedding. So will you?" Manjiri so wanted to turn down that offer. His manner was too artificial to agree upon. However, at then she possibly couldn't do anything but nod in response.

"Is that alright now, Dadi?"

Shaurya questioned looking back at his grandmother. To which she remarked with a huge smile.

"That's good! It could be better though."

"Come, Miru, let me select a saree for you for the evening."

Mrs Suniti Mohan suggested when she noticed Manjiri getting up with the plates in her hands. Manjiri nodded. Her mother-in-law had a thing for designer sarees. She not only loved adorning them but also making others adorn them.

Shaurya's gaze discreetly landed on the retreating figures of the women of his life. He could faintly hear his mother's voice when she was speaking to his wife.

"Don't mind him. That's how he is, sometimes one has to be very patient with him."

"So?"

Mrs Kaveri Mohan asked making Shaurya look at her. Shaurya questioned back instead of answering.

"So?" He added a question wondering if his grandmother was in need of something, "Do you want me to get any medicine or any other thing from outside?"

The elder lady smiled.

"No, thanks. I've got everything. Dev and Miru take good care of my medicines and every other thing, don't worry." She added on realizing something, "It's been a long time since you came to me unoccupied."

If someone would ask Shaurya of the one thing he was guilty at then he would definitely answer telling that he was guilty for not being so much available for his grandmother. He envied his other two cousins for that particular reason, and especially Dev. How he wished he could go back to the old good days when he used to spend his entire day by being close to his grandmother and playing with his sister and cousin brothers.

"You know, Dadi, I don't get much time. All thanks to Chandigarh and long night shifts here. Moreover, someone or the other is always around you. Especially Dev and she so..."

Mrs Kaveri Mohan interrupted muttering,

"She got a name." She asked in an amused manner then, "Are you being jealous of my girl?"

"Jealous? Yes, maybe I do when you give her more importance than me."

Shaurya replied reflecting the smile of his grandmother. His grandmother's smile grew wider when she spoke up.

"I hold no one more important than you people, my grandchildren of course. But yes, she has become important to me ever since her name has joined with yours. She's a good girl, Shaurya. Stop making such a bad face."

"Your good girl is becoming rude to me day by day. I don't know why but these days she has got a problem with everything I do or not do. Speak or not speak. Whereas she can do anything she wants, speak to anyone she wants."

Shaurya vocalised shrugging his shoulders at the end of speech. Mrs Kaveri Mohan took a shallow sigh at that.

"She seems upset. Especially after yesterday. Maybe those ladies are the reason. I don't know why those nosy ladies were after my girl. Will not call anyone of them from next time onwards. Their talks were indirectly targeting her family background yesterday. And that might have hurt her."

Shaurya didn't react, just kept hearing his grandmother out.

"Do you know what child? Your role in all of this is very important."

"My role?" He asked confused. "What role?"

"Your foremost role is to keep her happy. You have to make sure that things doesn't hurt her..."

Intervening the older lady's words, Shaurya brought out his dormant displeasure towards his wife.

"I really try to, Dadi. Believe it or not but she herself loves getting into trouble. And then when I say anything against her family, she doesn't even takes a second to get defensive and feel offended."

Mrs Kaveri Mohan forced air out of her mouth. Her grandson could be such a fool in few aspects.

"Ok, for a minute put yourself in her shoes. Your husband is there with his family leading the same kind of life and lifestyle with very few changes before and after marriage. But you have left everything and everyone you ever knew since your marriage. Your husband has got a lot many people to hold on to. Family, parents, siblings, cousins, friends and what not. But what about you? Who's there for you to hold on to?"

"Didn't she have me, her sister and you people, our family? This home is also her home now. Correct me if I said anything wrong."

He threw his justifications in the form of questions. Her grandmother's words did make sense, but his point wasn't wrong either. More revelations awaited him when the older lady added.

"No matter how much you try to convince that this new place is 'supposed' to be her new 'home' just because she is married to you. It won't make sense. Her real family will always be the family where she was born to, unless and until you start your future family with her. One can't simply erase the existence of the family in which he or she was born."

"If you are insulting a soul who is already struggling to adjust by speaking ill of her only things to hold on to, how does it sound to you?" Mrs Kaveri Mohan questioned. Her eyes were challenging him, so he kept mum. His gaze lowered more when he heard her adding, "She is here with you not just because she said yes to marry you but because of her parents, grandparents. You have her because she was born in that family at the first place. The same family at which you throw rude comments every now and then. Always remember that the head of that same family had respected and trusted you enough to send the apple of her eyes blindly with you. The minimum you are expected is to give some respect to that family back. Think about it!"

"You are at a place you call 'home', all comfy and secure. If anyone comments at your home or your family, won't you get defensive? Won't you feel offended?"

She asked with a slight louder tone. He couldn't help but nod and lower his gaze more. He felt wrong, very wrong. He had again screwed up things for him, her and them.

"Child, you do not have to praise her or her family for everything but what seems like a silly small thing to you, would obliquely be an insult to her self respect."

Her grandmother added when he remained quiet. Placing her hand on his hand, she kind of passed a weak smile whilst speaking.

"It's good that she has accepted everything but she still must be struggling inside. There must be a hollow feeling inside her. And I think that hollowness can only be filled by your attention and love..."

"Love?"

He interrupted, baffled. He didn't expect that, especially at that moment. Although, he regretted speaking that afterwards. Mrs Kaveri Mohan smiled at him.

"Yes, love. Don't you love her?"

Turning crimson in an instant, Shaurya tried to dodge away that awkward question and situation. His eyes refusing to meet her grandmother's mirth filled eyes.

"I don't know, I never thought about that."

"My boy, you can access it as the following. If someone takes her away or she herself goes away from you, then how will you feel?"

Mrs Kaveri Mohan played smarter. She surely knew how to get her grandson to react. Falling into the trap, Shaurya instantly responded.

"Why would she go away anywhere? I don't want to think about that."

Mrs Kaveri Mohan smiled widely, like she had won the world.

"Then it's all clear. Use this to answer whether you love her or not. Till then I go and get ready."

Shaurya had barely turned to look at his grandmother when she had got up to go inside. Thus, leaving him all alone to himself and his thoughts. Unbeknownst to himself, he ended up smiling to no one in particular but to himself. His thoughts were all over the place, when he whispered to himself.

"Love? Silly Head?... Do I really love her?
Yes, perhaps! Does she too? Not sure!... Ahh!"

"You love people. They disappoint you. But sometimes, they don't. They just keep loving you, right through it all, waiting for you to wake up and appreciate them. To say, 'I love you. I've always loved you back'............................."

~~~

Dear ones, do share your honest views on this chap and the story, as this is the only source of motivation which literally pushes me to pen down.
This can also help me in improving. So yes, eagerly waiting now.

I would really appreciate if each one of you will come and put forward your genuine reviews + expectations from me and
"JI HUZOORI".

~~~

This is it for now. Hope you liked it. I am sorry for the mistakes.

In case if you want to share your views or suggest something, you are more than welcome.

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Till then take care and stay connected.

Love ♥️✨