Hardwicke high school, Hardwicke

September 2nd, 2015

2 P.M

It was likely going to be seen as rude to leave the lovely gathering so early but I was so bored and the mingling had only really just kicked off. I could see Tee off in the distance talking to a group of women, there were semi familiar faces here and there but I didn't feel any real connection with anyone I had spoken to so far or had even seen.

Not wanting to disrupt Tee I sat back down in the bleachers and sipped on my orange juice, wishing so bad for a dash of vodka to liven it and me up a little.

"Not in the socializing mood? That's cool, I totally get that." Outwardly I cringed but my soul was screaming about sweet baby Jesus or something when I heard that familiar voice again. Who was I kidding? I was still insanely attracted to Samuel, even after ten years those old feelings came rushing back to the surface in a matter of seconds.

"What do you want Samuel?" I cursed myself for sounding so unsure of the question. Sam picked up on that and flashed me an easy smile, I had forgotten how disarming his smile could be and also forgot how much of a weapon it had been back in high school. He had used that damn smile to get out of almost everything, the only time it never seemed to work was when I was extremely angry and right now...I would have given my left arm to be angry.

"You can pretend to be angry all you want, I know you're not. You're still so easy to read." Lord help me, where the hell was Teegan when I needed her? I could have been flashing a giant SOS sign and she still wouldn't have seen it, she was that caught up in the conversation she was having.

"And you're still a douche." I got up, the last thing I wanted was Samuel reading exactly what I was thinking. The thoughts were mortifying to me and I didn't need anyone else sharing in my mortification.

A hand on my arm stopped me, it wasn't a tight grip but was a firm hold and stopped me in my tracks. Did he have to do that? His looks were bad enough but his touch...bare skin touching bare skin was a bad combinations, thoughts filtered through my mind. "Can we talk? Away from everyone?" It was a bad idea to agree but before I knew what I was doing my head was nodding and I was following Samuel out a side door.

My heart beat wildly when Samuel came to a stop out in a corridor that led to one of the change rooms. 

Samuel stayed for a few moments with his back turned towards me, I didn't know what he was thinking but wished he would turn around. As if hearing my silent plea Sam turned, the smile was gone from his face and it looked as if the twinkle from his eye had gone too as he began talking.

"I'm sorry, for being a stupid idiot back then. If I could go back and change how I reacted and what I said I would...but I can't and I really want you to forgive me. I've thought about you most days since I drove you off and I regretted what I said almost as soon as the words had left my mouth. I never thought you were ugly or stupid, I just...I wanted someone else to hurt the way I had been hurting." Even though this was the apology I had been waiting ten years to hear it didn't really feel like it was my apology. Sure, Samuel was apologizing for everything but I felt detached from the situation somehow.

"Can you forgive me? Please Rose?" It wasn't until Samuel had approached me, cupped my face in his hands and put his lips against mine that I snapped out of my trance. What was he doing? Better yet, what the hell was I doing?

I pulled away from Samuel and slapped him soundly across the cheek for thinking that he could kiss me like that without my permission. "I'm sorry Samuel, I don't know what you were expecting but getting back to that stage is never ever going to happen. You blew your chance long ago and there is no way I'm letting you anywhere near my heart again." 

The more I said out loud the more my brain protested, it wanted my mouth to shut up and say the exact opposite of what I had said. It wanted me to jump into Samuel's arms and declare my undying love for him, the only problem was I didn't feel like that had been a genuine apology. "You think a few sweet words and apologies allows you to not only touch me but to kiss me as well? What kind of warped world do you live in? Don't speak to me for the rest of the weekend, I knew coming back was a stupid idea." I left Samuel there, my mind was made up and I was going to run back to my parents home.

It was lucky that Tee and I had come on separate vehicles, it meant that I really didn't need to wait around for her.

When I reached my car I fumbled with the keys for a few seconds before managing to unlock it and climb in. My heart, breathing and thoughts were all racing to see who could kill me the fastest, it was going to be a tie between my heart and thoughts.

What had I done? I had stood up for myself, that was what I had done.

"Shoot!" I screeched, hitting the steering wheel a few times before pulling on my safety belt, starting the car and leaving the parking lot. On the way home I stopped to grab a bottle of vodka and something for dinner before driving back to the house to drown my mind and sorrows in alcohol.

'Build a bridge and get over it' came to mind as I set about cooking something for my unsettled stomach. It was always a bad idea to drink on an empty stomach, I would have loved doing that five or six years ago but my body took way too long to recover from a night of heavy drinking and if Beth had so many events planned I think I was going to need my body to be in tip top shape.

After eating and cleaning up the kitchen I went and sat in my room, a bottle of vodka in one hand and a bottle of OJ in the other. My year books were all still where I had left them, I picked up one after the other and read my way through. I laughed occasionally when I saw mug shots of students with mustache's, horns or missing teeth doodled onto their faces.

It reminded me of all the mischief Samuel and I used to get up to back when we were younger, I laughed even louder when I came across a photograph that used to contain Samuel but now had a huge hole in it from where I had gone through and cut his face out of almost every single picture.

When you're a heartbroken seventeen year old girl you don't really think about the future, unless you're like me and that future had involved Samuel but no longer did. I remember that day, when I had gone through all of my year books and cut out every single image of Sam, I also remember having gone out into the backyard to burn them all with a bit of diesel. I think I may have singed the hair off of one arm doing that but I had felt loads better when I had gone inside smiling widely at my mom.

"Are you drinking?!" I winced when Teegan's voice suddenly invaded my sanctuary of quiet and tranquility.

"Yes, why do you have to be so loud? Want some?" My speech wasn't quite slurred but it was getting there as I offered Tee the bottle of vodka. She took a quick swig, followed quickly by another one before she plopped herself down on my bed and handed the bottle back to me.

"Thanks, I really needed that. Nothing has really changed, has it? Aside from the fact that some girls are now moms and have produced miniature copies of themselves. I mean, you still hate Samuel...I'm still the weird outcast and Beth is still the top bitch of the school?" I wondered where this was coming from, when I had left Tee looked like she had been enjoying herself. Clearly she hadn't been if she needed the vodka just as much as I did.

"What happened?" Knowing that it would involve some complex, teenage level dram I really shouldn't have asked. But Teegan was a best friend and sometimes best friends needed to unload, even if it was to a slightly drunk and completely loose lipped individual.

"I was standing there, chatting to a few people and..I don't know. I guess I might have taken things the wrong way but Beth and a few of her mommy friends came over and implied that I was still single for a reason." It didn't sound so bad to me but then again, I wasn't there so couldn't really understand the situation completely.

"Brush it off, if she does it again and is absolutely obvious about it then I give you full permission to take her on. Mommy or not, she doesn't have the right to be such a bitch after all this time. She used to be so nice, I don't know what happened to her. Also, I slapped Samuel...he kissed me." To me that wasn't such big news but apparently it was to Teegan, if her screech was anything to go by.

"Seriously? You let him kiss you? No, that's stupid to think. Oh my god, what did he do after you slapped him? He had it coming, that was for sure. It's just a few years too late, oh I wish I had seen it! I would have given you a high five!" I began laughing at that, trust Teegan to want to high five me after something like that. If anything it was because of Teegan that I had slapped Sam, if we hadn't become friends I think I would have stayed the same non confrontational person that I had always been.

"I think I told him to stay away from me but I can't remember. God, it is just like high school isn't it?" It was so blindingly obvious that high school followed everyone once they had left and it was even more obvious when everyone came back together again for a reunion.

The cliques were still there but I had noticed a few people mingling between groups, I was going to do that later tonight at dinner but for now I put the lid on the vodka bottle so that I could sober up in time.

"It sure is my aggressive little friend, we're just older and not afraid to say things." Agreeing with that I stood up from where I had been sitting on the floor and went to lie on the bed at the opposite end to Teegan.

"Don't rub your stink feet in my face! I'm going to have a quick nap before we have to start getting ready." Teegan only laughed but pulled her feet away from my face, we had slept like this so much as teenagers I had almost forgotten how much I had missed it. We were really reliving our pasts this weekend and it only Friday afternoon, this really was going to be a majorly long weekend.

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I honestly have no idea what reunions are like in the USA so I'm (obviously) winging this story for the most part. Also I did a boo boo and have changed the first date of the reunion to Friday the 2nd of September 2005.

Seriously, I hope if anyone out there is reading this that they enjoy it.