Hardwicke, Hardwicke high school

September 20, 2004

So it happened, today in homeroom there was an announcement over the loud speaker from Samuel to Beth. If he had wanted to do something romantic then declaring his love for her to the entire school was not the way to go, it just came off as being tacky and on top of that he became even more of a laughing stock. I didn't realize that was even possible, but after the incident of his barfing on me it seemed he could do worse things.

"How did Sam even get into the office long enough to say all of that?" Alain asked, leaning towards me from where he sat. 

"He usually does the announcements but by the sounds of things he won't be allowed anywhere near that microphone again in the near future. I guess that's a good thing, he's being saved from himself." I sighed, Alain nodded his head as if he understood but I don't even think he understood just how 'into' one person Samuel could be.

When we were let out of home room I went straight to my first class, Beth happened to be in it and when I walked into the room she and her group of friends were giggling in the back corner. I could tell that Beth was loving all the attention, I could also hear what a few of her friends were saying about Sam and despite my constant protesting of his public displays towards Beth I wasn't going to let anyone stomp him into the dirt.

"Seriously, why can't you just give him a chance? Sure, he's going about things all the wrong way but he's not a bad guy, he's not gross and he sure ain't a stalker. So why don't you tell all your friends to stop spreading rumors and sh*t about him? Because he deserves more than that." I turned away from the group as soon as I was out of breath and done berating them. It was quiet for a few moments but then Beth and her friends began laughing hysterically, I didn't turn around or even interact with them again throughout class.

"Hey Rosie, can you do me a favor and drop this by Sam's home after school today? I figure he was sent home after his little declaration, please can you do this for me?" Beth batted her eyelashes at me, suddenly I didn't see the nice girl that had come in late to our year way back when, I didn't see the girl that I had admired or even thought was cool. 

Suddenly I saw Beth for what she was, a manipulative, attention seeking sixteen years old like she most likely had always been.

Part of me didn't want to give the letter to Sam, part of me just wanted to rip it into a million pieces and throw it in Beth's face. But Sam would never forgive me, especially if he had a chance at anything with Beth so I took the folded piece of paper and stuffed it into my back pocket.

Beth gave a small, tight smile that seemed way too forced to be friendly or genuine.

"Sure, I'll give it to him." Snatching the letter away from Beth I left the classroom and headed towards my next class, my mind still on that single encounter and the way Beth had been acting. Had she always been like that?

After walking home from school with Alain we headed over to Sam's house, I knocked on the front door, both Alain and I stood there wondering if someone was going to come and open it for us. When the front door was finally pulled open I could see Mrs Walker standing there, she seemed upset and I wondered if it was because of Samuel.

"Hello Mrs Walker, I'm here to drop some homework off for Sam. Is he around?" I asked, usually Mrs Walker would allow me to enter without my saying anything, but the way she kept the door open just a little bit with her whole body behind it made me realize I wasn't welcome there.

"Oh, hello Rosie love. Samuel stormed off a little while ago and we don't know where he's gone. I don't suppose you would know where he is?" So that was what had her so worried? I nodded my head in understanding as I held the homework folder out to Sam's mom.

"I think I know where he is Mrs Walker, I'll go have a look. Here, you take his homework...oh! This is Alain, mine and Sam's new friend.  We'll see you later Mrs Walker!" Before she could say anything else I grabbed Alain's hand and headed away from Mrs Walker. If Sam had stomped off he was likely down at the race track, it was Monday which meant there would be cars down on the course. I just hoped he wasn't in such a bad mood that I couldn't talk to him.

"Is Sam's mom always like that?" Alain asked, we went over to my house, said hello to my parents before grabbing my bike and my brother's bike before heading off towards the race track.

"Nah, Mrs Walker isn't usually like that. That's the first time I've ever seen her cry so Sam must have said some pretty bad things to get her to react like that." So many scenarios of what could have happened to result in Sam storming out and Mrs Walker crying went through my mind as we headed out to the race track.

When we both came over the rise I smiled, Sam was sitting where we always sat when we came out to the race track. I pointed him out to Alain, he had most likely already spotted Sam sitting alone in the stands, it wasn't hard to pick out the loner teen who wanted to be alone.

We ditched our bikes next to Sam's before heading down to where he sat.

His expression on our arrival spoke volumes, even if he didn't utter a word as Alain and I sat down beside him. For a few long moments, we were all quiet, Alain sat down a few feet away from Sam and I. Maybe it was a hint that he didn't want to be part of this, maybe he had no idea what to do or say but either way I had wished then that our roles were reversed.

"Sam, seriously? How many times do I have to tell you to take baby steps before you tear off down the road?" I couldn't help myself, Sam rolled his eyes at my little lecture but obviously, all my previous lectures had gone in one ear and out the other.

"Thanks, mom, I'll remember that for next time." Sam wasn't pleased with what I had to say, but really why had he expected anything less? If he had listened to my 'no-nos' then he wouldn't be in this much of a mess with anyone.

"Seriously Sam, what did you think was going to happen? It's not like barfing on me the first day of school hadn't gotten you noticed, or volunteering at the shelter didn't give Beth vibes about you...but did you really need to go and declare to the whole school just how much of a stalker you've been lately? Like seriously." Sam stood at the last question and looked as if he were ready to storm off but changed his mind at the last second and turned on me with anger written clearly across his face.

"You know what? Why don't you mind your own damn business for once in your life? I don't need your advice, you don't even know what the hell you're talking about, you've never had a boyfriend and you're over here talking to me like you know everything? Well screw you, Rose why don't you just leave me the hell alone?" It took me a while to comprehend just what Samuel had said, was this our friendship breakup?

My mom had told me about it several times in the past but she had assumed our friendship breakup would be something more than this, she assumed that we'd end up together before crashing into a fiery heap and never speaking again.

Now I knew why Alain had moved to sit away from the both of us, how I wished even more that our roles had been reversed.

"Screw you, Samuel Walker. All I've heard for the last few months is Beth this and Beth that and you know what? I'm sick of it! I'd rather you stopped talking and daydreaming like a five-year-old girl and actually grow a pair and talk to her, not the kind of talk you've been doing but actually talk to her. As for leaving you alone? Well, you can count on it from here on out, have a great life dick head. FYI, this is from Beth." I threw the letter at Samuel, for a moment his expression showed confusion mixed with a bit of joy as I turned and walked away from him. 

"Rose! Wait...I'm sorry." Sam's apology fell on deaf ears as I walked back to my bike, when I mounted it I turned to look at Sam once more before leaving the track for home. It wasn't until after I had parked my bike after I had said hi to both my parents, not until after having to endure five whole minutes of Fraser that I found myself alone in my room.

It wasn't until I was absolutely sure that no one would bother me that I began crying. The tears weren't small or just a few either, they were fat teardrops that soaked one pillow and then the other until I eventually fell to sleep.

"Rose? Rosie, wake up hon. You're going to be late for school." Rising from the bed quickly I tore my eyes open, which was a bit of a chore but with my mom sitting at the edge of my bed shaking me gently I don't think I had any other choice really.

"What? Oh god, I'm going to be so late!" I exclaim, feeling the panic rise within me suddenly. I had never been late to school once in my life, even if one of my parents had given me a ride to school there was no way I was making the morning bell. 

Before I could rush out of bed my mom put a hand on my shoulder, I stopped then knowing what was coming I tried to ready myself for the sudden onslaught of questions. "Are you okay? Have you been crying? You know you can talk to me, don't you?" Inwardly I groaned, my mom was always there to listen but sometimes I just didn't feel like talking, this morning was one of those times.

"I'm fine mom, just a little stressed and stuff. Nothing to worry about." I hurried out of bed as I said that, my mom didn't look convinced of my lies but didn't push it as I began dressing for the day.

Half an hour later I was dressed in shorts, a t-shirt and a zip-up jersey. There was no time to do hair or makeup, so my wild mop was wrangled into a messy plait, thankfully my mom gave me lunch money when she dropped me at the front of the school. She had also written me a note telling lies of why I was late, but when I handed it to the office lady she didn't bat an eyelash.

As I had missed homeroom and the start of the first period I was allowed to go to the library and study for a little bit.

"Hey, can I sit here?" Someone broke through my not so subtle daydreaming, blinking a few times I looked up to see a girl my age standing behind one of the chairs. She looked familiar but no names came to mind, I nodded my head at her question and pulled a few of my books away to clear space for her.

"Thanks, I'm Teegan Baker," she held her hand out towards me. I was a little hesitant, who shook hands these days. Usually, it was just a wave or awkward shuffling during an introduction, I had almost forgotten what a handshake was and what it meant.

"Nice to meet you Teegan, I'm Rose. Do we have classes together? I swear you look familiar." I wasn't able to hold the questions back, Teegan went a little pink but nodded her head. Did we really have classes together? Maybe that was why she looked so familiar, god I hoped we didn't have all our classes together or I'd feel like a horrible person for not even knowing her name.

"We have a few classes together, though I don't think we have this period together...did you switch streams?" Oh how I wish I could switch streams, that would make life so much better and less complicated right about now. But, life wasn't that easy and I was mentally preparing myself for an encounter with Samuel come the next period.

"No, I was late to school today and missed the start of the first period so was allowed to use it as a study hall. What are you studying?" I asked curiously as Teegan began pulling books out of her book bag, none of the subjects looked familiar so it had me wondering.

"Oh I'm just studying for AP art history, it's pretty full on." No kidding, a few of the textbooks that Teegan pulled from her bag looked way too thick and boring to ever get my attention.

"No kidding," I muttered, Teegan didn't seem interested in talking. That was always a bonus in my books as I was struggling with a few of my classes and really needed to pick my grades up to keep everyone happy. 

When the bell rang for the end of the first period I packed my things up and left the library quickly, it wasn't until I got to second period and saw Teegan approaching that I realized I had forgotten to say bye. "So, we share this class? That's so weird, I've never really seen you before." I felt bad for saying it, but talking to Teegan helped me think of things other than Samuel on how our first encounter went.

"Don't worry about it, I'm usually in class early and always sitting at the back. You usually walk straight in and walk to your chair without looking around so I'm not surprised." This time it was my turn to go a little red in the cheeks, is that what I really did?

We entered the classroom at the same time, Samuel was sitting in his usual chair which was right next to my usual chair. I decided to be a little different today and followed Teegan to the back of the class, she looked at me oddly but didn't say anything as I sat down beside her.

Samuel was obviously confused but I kept my gaze away from him. 

"Are you two not friends anymore?" Biting the inside of my cheek I wanted to ignore Teegan's question but turned to her and nodded my head, I don't know if that was the right response to that question.